Love Locks


What the fuck is a love lock and why are they being cunted?

Well for the uninitiated miserable and heartless old bastards of IsAC, they are a padlock that can be fixed to a bridge or a gate or some other prominent public monument to symbolise a pair of sweethearts unbreakable love, with the key often thrown away into a river.

There are apparently hundreds of these places all over the world from Paris to Las Vegas to Dingo’s Arsehole, outback Australia. Most look a fucking eyesore, in some cases causing structural damage , health and safety issues or just taking away the architectural brilliance of something that was built by master craftsmen hundreds of years ago by adding a load of rusty locks that belong in Steptoe’s scrap yard.

Some places are embracing it of course, hoping to turn it into a tourist attraction which begs the question just how shit is the rest of the town? What will be next then, St Pauls graffitied with “Daz fingured Debs ere”.

Nominated by: Liberal Liquidator

And supported by: Cuntfinder General

I first encountered these, during a cultural (sni.gger) weekend in Liverpool. (Stop laughing at the back!😉).

As reported, here:

News Link

41 thoughts on “Love Locks

  1. Some of the ISAC horn section probably need a lock on the internet to stop them accessing the webcam in Analese Dodds’ bathroom.

    I assume Dick keeps a lock on the room to the ‘recreation’ room where Gemma Arterton ‘stays’ – entirely voluntarily of course.

    I certainly enjoyed the ginger ‘love’ discussion on the Michaela Strachey thread yesterday.

    A joke for your Wednesday…
    https://mikesplace2017.wordpress.com/2022/01/12/joke-of-the-day-45/#more-14353

    • Ive seen these.
      Theres a bridge in Bakewelll,
      People stop to stare below at all the brown trout that gather below or the swans.
      Its full of padlocks!
      Every so often the council clears the lot.
      But the come back, like a stubborn rash.
      Its not that they look a mess its the weight apparently,
      Tourist love it,
      Especially them japs.

  2. What I found particularly amusing, on my Liverpool trip (circa 2012), was the Liverpool Maritime museum was hosting a huge “ self cleansing” slavery exhibition (the start of woke CRT in the UK?), yet a few hundred yards from the exhibition, were hundred if padlocks on chains.

    Scousers don’t do irony, do they🧐

  3. Saw one of these things in Westminster – it said “A memento of when I fucked 70 million people, Boris, x”.
    Next to a wine bottle it was..
    Time for a minus 70 teste tingling bike ride – you bunch of coves and blaggards try and stay out of trouble until I return! 😀

  4. I thought “Love Lock” might have been a nice word for a chastity belt, attached, I believe to Yvette Cooper, by hubby Ed Balls, to make sure no-one took up the challenge of finding a hard mattress to try to get her tits bouncing – a task almost as impossible as tickling a gnats arse with a telegraph pole, or possibly Anna Soubry hanging round Dominic Grieve, A C Grayllng or Lord Heselslime, when she is in heat., and the boys (“boys”!) licking round her pissflaps.

    The one on AnalEase Dodds, sadly wore out with rusting.

    Then I find out it is something so corny. I despair.

  5. I’d ban the sale of locks to the kind of the mawkish types who go in for this shite…usually lower-class,benefit-spongers who also profess their love with cheap,tacky tattoos saying something like ” Wayne luvs Ebony 4 ever” on their flabby arms….they are unlikely to own anything or value,so they have no need of padlocks anyhow….No,I’m afraid this kind of thing is just another assault on traditional British values and Institutions…akin to statue-toppling,getting jabbed/not getting jabbed,Homosexuality and being a Sooty.

    Outlaw it immediately.

    • Hello Sir Richard,

      The wretched padlock thing is just another example of mawkish behaviour. The number of pathetic roadside memorials, made up of plastic flowers, where some scrote has killed himself, probably in a stolen car, littering the country roads is a bloody disgrace. They are not removed in case someone’s feelings are hurt.

      What happened to the stiff upper lip?

      • Sad teddy-bears,petrol-station flowers and cards reading ” U wiv da angles now,babes..”

        A fucking eyesore,as you say….the perpetrators should be fucking prosecuted for fly-tipping.

      • There was one in a town I visit-right next to one of the busiest intersections.
        Two groups of horrible cunts had been having a row for months-they met up for a scrap and pulled out the blades.

        One less cunt in the world.
        If you saw the memorial and the tributes, you would wrongfully assume Mother Theresa had passed on🧐

  6. I guess getting married as a demonstration of love poses a problem nowadays. Getting married means that the authorities know that the father of pre wedlock ankle biters lives with the mother and therefore they kiss goodbye to the rent benefit and put the council tax up by 25 percent. It pays to be practical in chav land.

    • Talking of chavs, Radio4 has just broadcast an interview with Angela Rayner. Struck me that our nine year old granddaughter has a better command of the language.

      • I find it deeply patronising that a lass who became an unmarried mother when she was 16 has the audacity to lecture us all on morals. Perhaps she should have a word with Mandy – or perhaps we should call him “Petie”

  7. If I was a single young chap and a cheap padlock made in a Vietnamese sweatshop got me into a lasses knickers then I’d have kept a dozen handy.

  8. No doubt Flabbott has got one on the gates of the Palace of Westminster, inscribed with “Diane and KFC 5ever xxx”

    Katie Price has probably got loads dotted around the country with past boyfriends/husbands, although she’d be better off with a “Katie Luvs Cock xx”

    Greta might have one, but given that she has no sense of humour it would probably read “This lovelock used up 50,000 cubic tons of CO2 when it was made. It has ruined my future”

  9. Yep one in Bristol when I went in May last year. Looked a right mess and no one gave a fuck about it apart from an Asian couple with a camera stuck to their head.

  10. It’s vandalism isn’t it? It costs thousands to clear up and who pays for it, ultimately.
    It’s like graffiti on buildings. Someone should give Banksie a good shoeing.

  11. What about hate locks, where is the balance.

    Some poor bloke or bird who has been fucked over by a former partner.

    Who was the American tart who had a fling with Boris and then he ignored her

    Hate Lock ‘That Bastard Boris fucked my arse and then fucked off’

  12. LOL … last year we did a raid on a well known market in North London. We have a specialist breacher on our team for opening gates, doors, boxes, shipping containers anything with a lock etc and he just loves to break stuff. Long story short … we concluded our operation after about 2hrs … the police made their arrests and the various agencies took away the stuff they wanted. We reassembled at the point of entry and found our colleague knee deep in opened locks which had adorned the front gate and railings. He’d picked most (for fun) and used the trusty bolt cutters on the others for no other reason than ‘why not .. it’s what I do’. Market management were furious. We’ll be called back again soon as it’s a rats nest of illegal activity … but we’ll cut the gates off next time instead of opening the lock.

  13. We human beings seem to love symbolism over substance. Me and Lady Curtains are practical at our age and don’t bother with flowers, gifts, cards, tatoos, or other meaningless shit.
    We don’t even wear our wedding rings.

    • 40th wedding anniversary next April and I have never worn a ring. It is amazing the number of times I have been chatted up.There must be a lot of desperate women out there.

      • Same here Wanksock. Our 48th this year and I never had a wedding ring. The wife has but she hasn’t worn it in decades. In jest I once advised a woman half my age she should find herself a rich man.
        Her response; “Oh,are you rich?”
        Me; “By no means and anyway I’m married.”
        Her; “That’s alright, I don’t mind.”

  14. Went to Paris, there’s thousands of them where Diana died. The tunnel isn’t actually that long. Definitely something dodgy happened that night. Nice city is Paris but like all places it’s plagued by gypo’s on the make. Can’t these twats do an honest days work?

      • CG@ – I thought the bottle of Lambrini and the KY Jelly were a touching Diana tribute.
        It’s what she would have wanted..

      • Which end was the KY smeared on?
        Just wondering if she took it up both traps😙

  15. Having looked at the title of the nom, you can imagine how disappointed I was to find that it wasn’t about the delectable Coco Lovelock.

  16. “Structural damage”?
    A fucking 10 bob padlock causing “structural damage”?

    Anyhoo…….love locks :
    They’re for soppy cunts who watch Star Wars franchises and get excited over cream egg homos.

  17. I don’t have no love locks but I have plenty of love socks for them lonely nights when Bent Dennis is working away and I m feeling horny.

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