Johnny Depp flogging Perfume

Johnny Depp and his advert for ‘Sauvage’ perfume.

I don’t like most adverts but the one Johnny Depp does for perfume deeply irritates me.

He’s wearing mascara like a bird at a works do,
Leather pants and waistcoat,
He strums a guitar,
(Its Jimi Hendrix version of “wild thing”)
And wolves start howling
Accept they’re dogs not real wolves,
And they flock to him while he tries to look moody and enigmatic.
Well, to me, a middle aged millionaire is hardly a figure of wild rebellion?
The only cunt who’s got away with leather strides was Suzie Quattro,
And when I see mr Depp I think

“Your missus battered you and took a shite in your bed”

He’s no rebel.
I’m more a rebel and I go to bed at 11pm.
I was Johnny rather than flogging gay perfume id learn kung fu and protect myself against getting beat up off girls and id insist on real wolves.

The fuckin little tart should also wash that makeup off.
You Tube Link

Nominated by: Miserable northern cunt

61 thoughts on “Johnny Depp flogging Perfume

  1. It’s obvious they are not wolves, a real wolf would have pissed on the guitar!
    Fake wolves, fake hard man, seems fitting somehow.

    • Jeezum my friend he’s an actor he’s paid to pretend. Now I am not advocating the wearing of perfume for men I wash and bathe in whatever I first lay my hands on including but not exclusively washing up liquid toothpaste or one of mrs everyonesacunt many bottles of stuff that fill the bathroom.
      That’s said he’s an actor doing his job. The well paid Cunt

  2. Have been enjoying ogling at the arses of those three birds in the previous nom, and now I’m faced with an even bigger arsehole in this dippy deppy cuntoid.

    He must either be skint or on the turn to want to resort to doing pretentious perfume ads!

    • I keep going back for another look. They really are three quite delicious little derrieres. Good old Admin!

      • You need to see if admin has their number Ron, there must be some perks to being ‘Cunter of the Year’.

      • Christ LL, I have enough trouble trying to deal with the wife these days!
        We can always dream tho…

      • “Cunter of the Year 2021”

        Now there’s something to shout about on social media. You can tell people “Don’t you know who I am? I’m the ISAC Cunter of the Year!”

        Stick it on your CV as a badge of pride!

      • Just had some cunt on from ‘The Sun’ wanting an interview about t’he Cunter’ Techno.
        I demanded that he respect my privacy and fuck off. It’s bad enough having a couple of paparazzi lurking in the bushes over the road…

  3. Quite frankly, his driving is also atrocious, I hope he forgets where he buried those trinkets.

  4. I’ve the misfortune of seeing this advert.

    He looks like a gay pirate.

    About as ‘hard’ as a stick of liquorice left in the sun.

  5. What a wanker. He’ll be following Clooney and advertising Nespresso and Warburtons next.

    Aftershave is for puffs.

  6. The man is a self obsessed, preening peacock, who has squandered a fortune.
    I do like a couple of his films.
    One was about Jack The Ripper, the other was called The Ninth Gate.
    A daft cunt.
    Hollywood’s full of ’em.
    Good morning.

    • The Ninth gate is a good horror-romp.
      His best performance is the gangster film he did with Al Pacino, “Donnie Brasco”-a close second to Goodfellas, if you like that genre👍

      He is supposed to be a decent sort-does a lot of work for charities behind the scenes👍

      • Donnie Brasco, was quite excellent, as was Depp as was Pacino.

        Depp can be a very good character actor when the right role comes along. He’s still a Hollywood lovie, but not quite as assholic as some in Tinseltown

    • You out on a Boxing Day hunt this yeast, your Lordship?

      Not the best weather conditions for it😟

      • ‘Fraid not,General. Meant to be going to Sedgefield races but I’ll see what the weather’s like before we set off…not going if the snow sets in up here.

        You up to much?

      • No plans today-might potter in the workshop for an hour later.

        I certainly won’t be going to any sales, for two good reasons:

        -I fucking hate shopping
        -I fucking hate cunts who shop👍

    • Don Brocco 12.15 at sedgefield Sir Dick
      A score each way.
      since Donny Brasco is being discussed you know it makes sense
      his last form was a third to a gambled on horse and he is lightly raced and young, could be more to come
      i kid you not with fishy stories shouldn’t i

  7. After Amber took the cunt to the cleaners, he’s got to take what’s going. I bet losing the pirates of the Caribbean hurt too. The consequences of sticking your dick in crazy. Allegedly.

    • They’ll regret it when the jack Sparrow-less pirates film sinks like a stone and loses millions.
      Still at least Hollywood will get “the message” across… 😂😂😂

  8. You always know when Christmas is near when you see those pretentious TV commercials for Hugo Boss, Channel No 5, Calvin Klein and other tosspot perfumes!

    Usual scenario:

    Woman walks around in a field looking moody
    Boy looks at moody woman
    Moody close up of their eyes in turn
    Moody lighting
    Moody music
    Boy whispers something moodily
    Woman walks moodily towards him
    They both stand in front of each other looking moody

    Then the voiceover chips in with “Adore D’ior”

    fade to black


    • A ‘perfect’ example of really ugly women. Enough to turn you to sexual abstinence (or the occasional Sherman, probably).

    • Woman from wrird snhle staringbout the window.

      (Ethereal French accent voiceover)

      “Love is pain. Pain is Love.
      Wife-Beater; by Johnny Depp.”

  9. Perhaps he needs the perfume to cover up the smell from the shite his ex Mrs took in his bed.

  10. Some time ago, around my way, a wag carefully and skillfully changed the U in sauvage to an S, reading “sausage” on the various posters which were installed in bus stops etc. 😁

  11. Dude! That’s Cap’n Jack that is … the epitome of cool! 😂 NOT!

    Another cretin that’s been propelled to the lofty heights of a living deity by the adoring masses. Repays the privilege with total abuse of everything and has an attitude … bloke is a complete wanker. I nearly accepted the ad for the lack of POC however the overt gay connotation placed it right in the shit category.
    That Amber bitch is pretty fit though …

    • Aye… a steaming turd on the bed is a small price to pay for a chance to ride Amber….she could shit in my mouth if she fancied,just as long as I got to sling a length up her.

  12. Actually, Captain Jack spends most of his day pissed and talking bollocks which is how I always imagine a large percentage of posters on here do. Pirates and the weird one about books and the devil were good films, it had Frank Langella and an old bint on fire in a wheelchair in it ffs so what’s not to like?

    I like his films but I’m not a fan of anyone in commercials.

  13. I got lost in the nomination after I read Suzy Quattro in leather trousers.
    She was smoking hot back then.

  14. Who the fuck would want to smell like Depp? Looking at him I would say he probably reeks of roley tobacco smoke, liquor sweats, a feint hint of patchouli, and a frisson of stale piss from being mildly incontinent.
    I’d rather have Lynx….

  15. All perfume/cologne/aftershave ads are pretty pretentious I suppose. This one’s a bit of a cunt tho.

  16. If it wasn’t for these ads Johnny would never make my cunt list, I admire his determination to be recognised as a cult when he could have gone under the radar.

    Congratulations Johnny. You are indeed a cunt!

    • I wonder how many men saw this ad and went out to buy themselves this expensive rubbish. Probably not many. So it’s aimed at women who would like to think they can turn their man into some kind of rock star / film idol with it. Which means it’s aimed at idiots, like most adverts are.

  17. For whatever reason I keep on thinking today is Monday, purely because we had a big dinner yesterday, which we only really have on a Sunday even though it was Saturday.

    So because we have 2 bank holidays, tomorrow is going to feel like Tuesday even though it will be Monday, and Tuesday will feel like a Monday or even a Sunday because it will still be a bank holiday. And Wednesday will feel like a Monday, and before you know it its the fucking New Year on Saturday but we get a bank holiday on Monday even though it will feel like a Sunday

    I’m totally lost with the days. And yes I know this has little or no baring on this thread. Sorry Admins.

  18. Johnny Depp did alright for a gorgeously handsome young man from a small town in 1960s/70s Kentucky. His early roles were kinda weak, but in the 90s he proved he was great at playing eccentrics like Ed Wood, Hunter S. Thompson, George Jung (real life cocaine smuggler in Blow) as Johnny himself is eccentric (an actor? eccentric?) but then he got in up to his neck in those pirate movies and I think he got bored – and mega rich – with those and starting slamming the sours (bourbon, whiskey) and being with the Amber “Shit the Bed” Heard unhinged the poor cunt.

    As for those parfum adverts, they are like a parody of such ads. And hey, dig this Charles Bronson Japanese parfum ad from the macho 70s, maaaaaan….

    Now is that the faggiest advert ever or is that the FAGGIEST advert ever? And it’s CHARLES BRONSON! Charles Bronson as Ed Wood in a pink angora sweater would have been awesome! Rock on Johnny Depp, you’re awesome. He gives millions and supports Helen & Douglas House, a British charity for children and young adults in the UK who provide end-of-life care. He’s a solid dude to us Brits, he loves our styles.

    • Is this ‘shit the bed’ stuff actually confirmed, or is it myth status, like Lumley’s arse and Cliff’s bag?

      • Yes, there are pics, pixelated pics, but pics nonetheless. I’m not searching for them. The woman shat the bed. On purpose. Marquis de Sade style.

        Tell me about Lumley’s arse and Cliff’s bag? Sounds like Boxing Day banter gold.

  19. You’re right MNC. All I can picture when I see him now, is him crying as that mad bird kicks him to fuck and shits on his bed.

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