I Hate Fireworks (3)

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I’d like to Nominate fireworks.

Why on earth do people celebrate fireworks night by buying expensive fireworks to celebrate a traitor, which are also manufactured in China and scares my dog shitless.

I mean it does bare some resemblance to what is currently occurring with what is going on in the U.K. however I wouldn’t been seen buying fireworks celebrating fascism or even better still buying off the bat flu wankers.

Just stick the lot up your arse you cunts.

Nominated by: Clown Clown the Cunty Man

and seconded by: KiwiCunt

Second the above nom.

Disturbing the peace is a crime the rest of the year round, or at least will get you a bollocking from Noise Control.

Why then is it OK to let loose with weapons grade detonations with a pathetically weak light show, in the name of “family fun”, and the authorities ignore it? Fireworks have been amped to the Nth degree for noise and yet the supposed “visual spectacle” they produce is shit, at best.

Being woken up at midnight, 1am or later by cunts setting light to fireworks is beyond the pale, either as a shift worker, a pet owner or a parent of a young child.

Fuck fireworks, but more so the inconsiderate cunts that think making endless noise is fun.

78 thoughts on “I Hate Fireworks (3)”

  1. Fireworks are a very visible and audible way of announcing to a 1/2 mile radius that you are a thoughtless obnoxious CUNT!

  2. If the scratter cunts who fork out just so they can make a load of noise throwing these about at 3am saved their cash, they’d have more to spend on drink and drugs for a better Xmas.
    The rest of us could get a decent kip.

  3. In Italy you can only buy silent fireworks.
    Common sense.
    Im sure Boris seeing as hes a ecowarrior will ban them soon!
    Seeing as they cause stress to pets, wildlife, farm animals and trigger PTSD in veterans,
    Plus add to pollution and compromise air quality.
    Oh wait!
    Sorry no.
    Reverse direction.
    On of his cronies has shares in importing Fireworks!

    Ps*
    Fireworks are for mongs and gaylords.
    I hate the fuckin things.

  4. Fireworks should be banned for public purchase. Animals get shit scared, people get scared shitless, and don’t get me started on the effects they have on ex military personnel with PTSD.

  5. Adults who enjoy fireworks are simple creatures. They love the loud bang bangs and pwetty colours. Generally enjoyed by the peacefuls and low IQ cretins from shitty estates – both of which should be thrown onto bonfires. Good evening.

  6. I hate them, too.
    Unfortunately, it’s not illegal to let them off at any time between 7pm and 11pm, with a few exceptions ie,
    Bonfire Night 12 midnight
    New Year
    Chinese New Year
    Diwali all 1am ( deep joy)
    And I think there’s one other, can’t remember, but they start around 5pm, go on well after midnight and go on from Halloween until 13th November round my way. I call it Bonfire FortNight.
    I’ve signed countless petitions to get them banned from sale to the public, licenced people only for organised events with a permit, and silent ones over the years, but I guess I’ll be sleeping downstairs with the dog, again, on the 31st December.
    The cat couldn’t give a fuck!

    • Proper nanny states have already banned sales to the public, e.g. Straya.

      Indonesian peacefuls love them. I was in a hotel high up looking over Pekanbaru, this was the night fasting ends after Ramadan. An unbroken roar of crackling and bangs, the sky was lit up. It was like Dresden,

      • Given fireworks are annoying imagine a place (Indonesia) where every mosque blasts out their call to prayer five times a day. Each has to be loud to outdo the neighbouring mosques, the more worshippers the more money they make, and all use sound systems whose only quality is loudness. Utter cuntitude!

        I heard a story of an expat somehow swapping tapes for some death metal, would have changed that mosques sound…!

    • My cat run away 3 years ago on Nov 5th, heart broken he was 6 years old, looked for him for months i forgot he was out that evening. Hate fireworks.

  7. Fireworks are a cunt – fair comment.

    Not sure about Guy Fawkes being a traitor though (in fact, I think he was a mercenary). If he was reincarnated in the present day and successful with modern kit (maybe an ex-CCCP briefcase nuke say) I’d call him a hero. Definitely not a traitor 😀

  8. The added pressure on the NHS also, burns victims, silly cunts who fuck about with one that doesn’t go off. Dickheads throwing them at people. All totally avoidable if banned. The stress on animals, the impact on veterans. Do these selfish idiots realise the impact this must have in veterans especially Afghanistan and Iraqi ones with it being so recent? WW2 veterans, Falklands, the list goes on. And I don’t think kids are the main issue, it’s the parents acting like big kids who should know better.

  9. Fireworks and their ignorant users are complete cunts.

    I was absolutely fuming the other night.

    The Cunts next door had what seemed like an industrial scale display in their back garden.

    I can cope with the bangs, but my old Greyhound was absolutely petrified. She was shaking and whimpering so badly that I had to cover her over with a blanket and just hold her.

    What really pisses me off is the fact that I’ve told them about the dog hating fireworks.
    They put the same wankfest display on three years ago.

    Another point of annoyance is that these cunts are in their 50’s. I told them the next day, “isn’t it about time you twats grew up?” To which they replied “your boring”.

    If I was 20 years younger I would have gone out and whacked them with my stick and tipped five gallons of water over all the fireworks and snapped every rocket in half.

    I’m annoyed with myself because my body won’t allow me to attack idiots anymore. One punch or kick and I would be on the deck now.

    I’m seriously thinking of an alternative form of punishment for these cunts for causing my dog to suffer.

    I’m still annoyed about it now.

    • Have a belter of a party. See who’s boring when there’s a live band rocking it at 2am.

      • Yep, don’t start too early, Dick. Wait until the bedroom lights go on, then roll out the scrumpy and go wild.
        No drums, though, doggo needs to enjoy too! A few sausages from the barbecue should do it.

      • Yes, I could make a racket early in the morning.

        The lazy cunts stink in bed until about 10 ish.

        I think a live band is a bit excessive though!

      • Borrow a bass guitar amp, fuzz pedal and a looper pedal.
        Play a note, take the pooch and your good self away for the whole weekend.
        Make sure the amp is turned up to 11👍

      • Excessive? OK, how about wheeling your sound system outdoors and playing your favourite music nice and loud. I would, and have.

      • Yes, that would work.

        They were moaning about me routing and grinding in the morning.

        That bass guitar would drive them mad.

      • My first house:
        A nice little suburban semi-detached.
        A new neighbour moved in next door-a divorced late 30’s wimminz with two fuckwit teenagers.
        I avoided them.
        One day she collared me:
        “My son is back from uni this weekend-he might make a bit of noise with his decks, as I’m going away for the weekend.”

        The cunt and about 10 friends were making a racket until about 4 am.
        Rather than go round and get mad, I got even.
        They were probably just in the land of nod, when at 8.am Saturday morning, I put a 100 watt valve amp combo against their wall, sent er indoors down to the supermarket, then turned that bad boy up to 11 and with a chorus, delay and flanger pedal in maximum annoyance-gave them every classic fucking guitar riff from Buddy Holly to Nirvana👍
        They never, ever repeated their fuckwittery again.

        In life, there are teachers and there are “educators”.
        😉👍

      • My favourite music is 1930’s dance band music.

        Geraldo, Ambrose And His Orchestra, Carol Gibbons And His Boyfriends etc, with a nice vocal refrain by Al Bowlly or Elsie Carlisle.

        I don’t think that will have the desired effect?

        I do like The Floyd though. Perhaps Interstellar Overdrive on loop would piss them off?

        Or Jugband Blues would be appropriate. “It’s awfully considerate of you to think of me here”

      • I love Floyd Mr Van Dyke👍
        I bet the bass line to “Money” would piss them off, after the 30th straight repeat👍

      • I was once terrorised by a neighbourhood house party playing Yellow Submarine – seemingly on a loop – into the wee-wee hours.

        Worked a treat, I didn’t get a wink of sleep. Lucky for them we weren’t living in America or I’d have blown their fucking heads off.

    • Sorry for your suffering Dick.
      Its not nice seeing your family pet scared to death.
      My dogs terrified too.
      One thing Sainsbury’s has done right,
      Stopping stocking them.
      Maybe next time as theyre doing it if your ill judged throw of a bottle of petrol missed your bin and doused them,
      Theyd knock it on the head?

      • Briefly thought about poking the .410 out the bedroom window with a 2” cartridge in it.

        When one of them 100 shot box thingies was going off I doubt they would have heard it or noticed it.

        Couldn’t guarantee shot not sticking in them though.

        I don’t think it would from about 30 yards away.

        Otherwise they would have just assumed it was a firework malfunction.

        I wish a Japanese Akita or a nasty Alsatian would rip a few shreds out of them.

      • As a lawful certificate holder, never, ever, ever, even think along those lines.
        You lose your guns and they win👎

      • Dead right General.

        I only ‘thought’, I would never point a gun at anyone.

        Worse than losing the licence, it would be a certain stint in the slammer.

  10. Fireworks are noisy and pointless. I expect the Lib Dems enjoy them.

  11. It should be limited to organised displays. Local drug dealing skum sell more fireworks than their shit between October and December, there’s more money in it.

    • Actually Guts, our local drug dealers are fucking furious. They set off 2/3 fireworks to announce a new delivery for their ( ahem) customers around 5pm, so since Halloween, their doorknockers have been banging like rabbits every day at all hours.
      Exactly what they want to avoid.

  12. My best friend and faithful companion Basil the Cocker Spaniel hates them. Therefore, so do I.

    It wouldn’t be so bad if it was restricted to just one night because I could take him out in the van and just drive around for the evening, as I did last Friday, but on Saturday and Sunday nights there were still inconsiderate fuckwits firing them off.

    I live in a lovely little village in rural Kent and there aren’t that many people around, so my heart goes out to dogs in more urban areas where they are literally surrounded by these cunts.

    • Not to mention fraught parents trying to get terrified small children off to sleep.
      Give them a slug of cherry brandy, tastes nice and they’ll be out like a light.

  13. Good nom.

    The stress to people and animals these things cause when they’re let off indiscriminately for hours on end borders on cruelty.

    Fireworks and the cunts who let them off anytime before or after the 5th November (I’ll allow new years eve as well) needs them inserted sideways into their anus and let off as far as I’m concerned.

    Guy Fawkes though.. Traitor?
    Oh how this beleaguered nation could do with a modern day, much more successful reincarnation of this fella is all I can say about him.

    • It doesn’t matter if you agree with him or don’t. He tried to blow it up. With no truth no democracy.

  14. Well cunted, A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts.

    Once upon a time when I was a baby croc Cracker Night gave myself and siblings an excuse to build a huge bonfire from dead trees in the local park once a year on a Saturday morning. We would return later that night to watch our pocket money’s worth of tuppenny bungers, sky rockets and the occasional Roman candle to please our old mum go up in smoke. I was ignorant at the time about animal cruelty associated with fireworks. It’s a reason rather than an excuse. But having grown up in a reasonable home I was eventually told that fireworks put the frighteners on domestic and wild animals. This information made me look at my behaviour and I’ve not set anything resembling fireworks alight since. I hate seeing animals putting a turn on because some inconsiderate fucker wants to relive his childhood. With so much knowledge around nowadays about how best we can live without offending one another anybody who does set off so much as a single Tom Thumb is an absolute cunt in my book.

    And the Sydney Harbour Bridge New Years Eve “Fireworks Display” is cunt behaviour on a grand scale. The nearby bushland is home to so much native wildlife and the surrounding residential areas home many domestic pets.

  15. Professional pyrotechnic displays – like the New Year celebrations – are wonderful. Domestic fireworks are a waste of time and money – noisy, smelly and unimpressive.

    But the real problem with bonfire night is that it celebrates a failed attempt to blow up Parliament. I’d rather celebrate a successful attempt.

  16. I hate the fuckers and what they do to dogs. My dog doesnt bother about shotguns but there must be some noise we cant hear in fireworks that sets off panic in dogs.
    Ban the fuckers.

    • It’s the whiney noise the air born one’s make as they shoot into the sky before exploding. That high pitched screech put my neck hair on end, never mind the dogs.

    • CC@
      Apparently its like a high pitched whistle or scream that along with the sonic boom scares dogs to death.
      Something else to hate the chinks for.

  17. Only for professionally organised display, why the fuck does the general public need fireworks, especially cunts who have no common sense.

    Ban the fucking things.

  18. Okay, true story…
    Newsagents used to sell fireworks in the 1960s. You were supposed to be over 16 to buy them, but loads got sold to kids much younger. A 13-year-old school friend of mine bought a box of bangers from our local newsagents a few days before Bonfire Night. Keen to investigate their explosive potential, he took them home, emptied the contents of 3 into a test tube from his chemistry set and put a cork in the top. He then went into the kitchen and heated the test tube on a gas ring on the cooker. When the tube blew up it took his right eye with it. Luckily for him, his left eye went unscathed.
    Okay, so he was stupid beyond belief, but stuff like this used to happen all the time back then. A&E on November 5th was like a war zone.
    Fuck fireworks, and fuck the twats who make them and sell them.

      • We used to buy them and put them in a nicked milk bottle from up the road. We always lit it away from houses normally up the local woods off the river Lea but How none of us got hit by the shrapnel when it exploded is beyond me.

    • “Newsagents used to sell fireworks in the 1960s. You were supposed to be over 16 to buy them, but loads got sold to kids much younger.”

      True, they were traded like fags, swapped, nicked from the newsagent etc.
      Talk about dodging a bullet… In ’68 Chops was 7yrs old and obsessed with the Apollo moonshot that was all over the box, I had the “Knowledge” magazine multi-stage die cut cardboard rocket, the fold out route map for the outward and return flights, clippings from the papers, posters, school project, sketches for my own rocket even! Yeah I wanted a piece o’ that action!
      So what can the youthful inquisitive mind do to realise that dream when all one has to hand is an old outgrown bike frame, one of those old wooden ironing boards, a pocket full of bangers and free access to the old man’s tools?
      ‘Twas but an afternoon’s work in the back garden to affix one to the other with nails string and tape, cardboard nosecone held on with drawing pins, looking good… and for propulsion… well it’s obvious isn’t it… two milk bottles, one each side at the back with a fistful of bangers in each one!!!! Elevated at the front on two beer crates, sorted.
      By then it was tea time and you can’t go to the Moon on an empty stomach can you so launch was delayed for some nosebag.

      As was Father’s habit he would sit on the steps after tea for a cigarette, so he was sat there at T-2 contemplating my shambolic creation and suddenly twigged what the fuck was about to happen!
      “CUNTY!!!…. get here!”
      He removed a bottle, walked me round to where the incinerator was (he was steward of a big working men’s club) and put it in.
      “Stand behind that bin!”… He put his Ronson ‘cadillac’ Variflame to my starboard primary stage, dropped the lid on and yarded it back to launch control behind the bin. And I’d NEVER EVER seen him run before!

      KAAAA – fucking – BOOM!!!

      …a shower of ash blasted out the holes round the bottom, blew the lid clean off… no words were needed and if he did say anything I can’t remember anyway… probably “…and did you put my tools back where you bloody got them?”

      Thanks Dad.

  19. The peacefuls love them don’t they? Perhaps they help them relive the Manchester arena and the bus in Russell Square.

  20. 1. Shove a bunch of rockets, bangers, catherine wheels, etc, up Johnson’s, Suckdick’s, Starmer’s and every other cunt’s stinking, pile infested arseholes.

    2. Light the blue touch papers and stand back.

    3. Enjoy the show.

    That is a display I would be willing to blow Lady Creampuff’s life savings on.

    I say ban the private sale of the fuckers – restrict them to public exhibitions once or twice a year maximum.

  21. Cecil and Ian hate fireworks (my 2 Ridgebacks), they don’t mind shotguns and regularly go out rabbiting with a .410, I hate the fucking “Spázz sprinkles” too, only liebour and lib dum voters like fireworks, the cunts!!!

    • Evening Captain:
      I imagine Cecil is named after Rhodes. Forgive my ignorance-whom is Ian named after?
      🙂

      • RTC is right CG, Ian Smith the greatest statesman to ever grace the dark continent, unfortunately the highly edited “not in a thousand years” speech, made him a pariah, as the Marxists always do with any sensible politicians!

  22. But they go bang huh huh er. I’m all for live and let live but fireworks are a pain in the arse for everyone, it’s not just for a night it goes on for days or weeks.

    if you’re a grown man and making loud bangs that piss the entire neighbourhood off your a jihadi or you’re a cunt.

    • Theres people round here who I wont do favours for because theyre fireworks spaccers.

      “Couldnt pick up a sofa for us could you?”
      “I need a wardrobe picking up..”

      Nope.
      You helped traumatise my dog you twat I bear you nothing but ill will.
      I boycott fireworks AND fireworks fiends.

  24. The terrorist threat level is at a very high state .
    We have explosives legally on sale.
    As the septics would say.
    ‘ Go figure ‘
    Our dog hates them, so do I.
    Pyrotechnical playthings, for knob heads.
    Get To Fuck.

  25. You do realise the whole point is not to celebrate the lefty wankspot fawkes, but to celebrate his failure!? Duh’? Ffs.

  26. Should fireworks be banned from general sale?
    Yes
    Will they be?
    No
    Why?
    Because we would be seen as waycist for not letting the cunts set them off at there festival shit like DaWilli or something like that

  27. It’s just cost me £200 in fucking vets bills, because some nearby show off twat without any warning, randomly set off what can only be described has a baby fucking nuke, it shook the house windows, set the car alarm off, and woke our small pooch from a deep sleep and put him in state of shear terror, enough to put him into shock that nearly killed him. Not supprisingly this cunt couldn’t wait for bonfire night and set this fucker off at 10.25pm, a week early just for kicks and because he could according to the law.

    I liked bonfire night when younger and I do miss the days of shite standard fireworks sets, bonfire toffee, sparklers, getting down and dirty with the girl friend around the fire, but I never did see the point in bangers except for scaring the fuck out of the peacefuls and placing them in taxi exhausts parked outside the local curryhouse.

    But the fireworks these days are comparable to the fucking arms left behind in afghanistan, by arsehole dopey joe biden, accept it’s dopey joe public using them all year round it seems.

  28. I like to think of the dozy cunts that ended up in A&E or the burns ward through their pyromania and love of sparkly lights.
    I hope it stung like fuck you feckless cunt..

  29. Remember those indoor fireworks? hahahaha how fucking shit where they!!! Had some fun with fireworks as a kid, air bombs being an estate favourite, hand launched at unsuspecting cunts was a great laugh. Good for kids and older cunts who like to go ooohhh aaaahhhhh after every bang. Cunts.

  30. I wish we’d call it by its proper name.

    ‘Guy Fawkes night’ sounds like we’re celebrating him, the fucking cunt. ‘The gunpowder plot’ sounds like an inanimate powder has come up with a scheme on its own, the anonymous cunt.

    ‘The Jesuit Treason’. It’s clear, meaningful, powerful, and let’s those shifty Vatican fucks know just what we think of them. Fucking cunts.

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