Playing Hamlet

I’m sure that you’re all familiar with Shakespeare’s masterpiece ‘Hamlet, Prince of Denmark’. It’s probably the Bard’s greatest play; you know, young white bloke, goes a bit loopy and all that…
Naturally down the years we’ve had all sorts of takes on the play, from Freudian (‘Oedipal conflict’) to feminist deconstruction, but thanks to the Young Vic, we’ve now got ourselves ‘a new kind of Hamlet’, with the exotically named female Cush Jumbo as the Prince. It’s ‘gender-blind’ casting apparently, with some reviews saying that Jumbo’s depiction is ‘non-binary’.
Seeing as how Jumbo herself comes from a mixed race background, it also looks as though this effort is ‘colour-blind’ as well, with some rap and reggae thrown in for good measure.
Now I’m all for this ‘gender-blind, colour-blind’ approach to casting myself. For instance, I look forward with anticipation to see which white actor the Young Vic will cast as Othello when they next produce that remarkable play.
Oh but wait a sec; that ‘blind’ casting thing does work both ways, right? Well I won’t hold my breath, if statements such as ‘we must give black talent the stage’ from the Vic’s Kwame Kwei-Armah are anything to go by.
Erm, maybe I’m being a tad over-sensitive here, but isn’t that statement just a little bit, well…

Nominated by: Ron Knee

Seconded by: MMCM

Seconded. Theatre companies are falling over themselves in an attempt to make The Bard “relevant” by indulging in gimmicky woke productions and ridiculous casting. The Globe’s recent and risible Romeo and Juliet is a case in point.

What they don’t understand is that Shakespeare will always be relevant. He speaks to the universal human condition and should be presented “neat”. Shakespeare was such a genius that he will always have the last laugh.

‘Thou sodden-witted lord! thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows’ – Troilus and Cressida Dick.

63 thoughts on “Playing Hamlet

  1. Twats!
    I imagine that when it closes for financial reasons (and it almost certainly will), they will revert to horrendously white make actor in the lead role.

    ….and do it goes on and on and on🤔

  2. The New Woke Shakespeare-

    All’s Woke that Ends Woke.
    The Merry Trannies of Windsor.
    The two non-gender specifics of Verona.
    The Tragedy of King Queer.
    Troilus and Cressida Dick.
    The Taming of the Karen.
    Queen John.
    Romeo and Bert.

    (Be careful when you using “queer”. Wordfence doesn’t like it and hence the MQ. Thanks – Day Admin)

    • Shakespeare even had something to say about Wordfence –

      ‘Art made tongue-tied by authority’.

      • Very good Ruff, point taken!
        And I owe an apology to Cuntologist.
        I shall blame my daughter, she blames me for everything anyway.

  3. I thought Jumbo was waycist? Disney has put a warning on it. Mind you Disney has refused to film in Georgia because of some abortion law but has just finished filming in Xinjiang province, China where a million muslims are in concentration camps
    ,so its all a bit confusing.

    • It was those crows-you know, the ones with black feathers and big mumbo beaks😂😂😂

      Don’t worry though, they went on to find fame in the “Kia-Ora” adverts of the late 1980’s, before becoming “Equality & Inclusion” advisers to Tony B. liars Nu Liebore🤔

  4. First we get colour blind casting, followed by gender blind casting.
    Fuck me sideways!
    What next, species blind casting?
    That’s an idea, let’s have a silverback gorilla and a chimpanzee play the lead roles in Romeo and Julie, eh?

    • Already done-it was called the “Cosby Show”, in yankland.
      The Silverback got done for drugging young chimpanzee’s and rubbing their smelly parts🤔

  5. Fuck me! A review of some cunt called Jumbo written by some other cunt called Arifa Akbar in a newspaper dedicated to the destruction of the British state!
    Remind me again, which fucking country am I living in?

  6. Just wait till you see Boggs Theatrical Productions version of Hamlet, starring

    SIR KEIR STARMER as Hamlet (“I don’t know if Im coming our going, duckie”)
    EMILY THORNBERRY as Gertrude
    ANTHONY BLAIR as Claudius (always after the brothers jobs)
    ANALEASE DODDS as Ophelia (The river will clean her up for the first time in 20 years)
    JEREMY CORBYN as The Ghost
    PETER MANDELSON & ALISTAIR CAMPBELL as Rozencrantz & Gilderstein

    Sir Keir fresh from his world-beating performance at Brighton in “Love – Labour’s Lost”
    Emily was recently a hit as Fagin in The Lesbian Labour Ladies Drama Group (played without any make-up whatsoever)
    MIss Dodds appears by kind permission of Rentokil

    “the more we longed to see you, the need we had to use you, which prompts our hasty calling back” (Claudius to Rozencrants & Gilderstein).

    Shakespeare has relevance even today!

    • Never show up for a blind date if the birds name is Jumbo.

      This is just the mentals trying to do Shakespeare and failing.

      Your Bard!!!

      • Cush Jumbo OBE, no less.

        She sounds like she would always want seconds on meal out, Miserable.

        “Are you going to eat that bread roll then?”.

      • Jack, if going the theatre with a young lady I think I’d go the chippy first!
        Snack whilst watching the actors.
        Try and throw a chip in their mouth from where im sat.
        And take my own ale as well.

      • Prices for drinks in theatres are horrific, so I’m told.
        Take in a Watneys Party Seven, under your coat.
        And a few Babycham’s, for the lady.
        Morning, MNC.

    • What about a film about Mandella casting Eddie Izzard in the lead role.
      Or a remake of Shaft starring Julian Clary as the arse kicking PI.

  7. Why not open a KFC concession at the Young Vic to complete the revolution? Every row could share a bucket whilst watching the woke drama unfolding before them. No, wait a minute, it will actually be a white audience won’t it? Probably vegan too. Can the KFC plan. No chiggin required.

  8. Shakespeare is a lot of unintelligible old shite anyhow…someone should have shoved his gobshite head down the privy before the window-licking Spacca built up a full head of steam and inflicted his gibberish on generations of bored children.

    He can shove his Collected Works up his arse and fuck off…I’d rather listen to Pam fucking Ayres.

    • Dick@

      Your a very coarse man you know?
      Try and be more refined!
      Be more like me!
      Im cultured, knowledgeable on the arts,
      Impeccable manners,
      Fit into any social occasion.
      Ive learnt to put my beard down my shirt so it doesn’t trail in the soup,
      I like those little buttys and horse doovers with a mug of champagne.
      Wipe the horseshit off your boots be like me.
      Im a social butterfly.

    • Clearly it’s not only lefty woke cunts and the likes of BLM who revel in trashing our great national heritage.

    • PS….If I discovered a lost work of The Bard’s, I’d chuck it straight on the fire and say nowt.

      • You brute.
        The finest play I ever saw was as a little lad, still in school.
        The plot was intricate and revolved around a string of sausages, a crocodile, a police officer, and a married couple.
        Think it was some sort of statement on domestic violence?
        But when the anti hero started to hit his missus (she looked Jewish?) with a plank of wood?!!
        Well, to much!!
        Over stimulated us small children, we trashed the theatre!
        It was shut for refurbishments for 6 months!
        But since then ive loved the arts.
        Play on good fellow!
        Play on!

      • Miserable;
        Wasn’t that ‘Punchanello and Judith’? One of the Bard’s lesser known works?

        Morning all

      • Its possible Ron?
        I just know that anything with sausages or crocodiles in it is serious art.
        I love the theatre!
        “Hes behind you!!” I bellow from the peanut gallery.

  9. Today is the 955th anniversary of the Battle of Hastings. In what other country would they remember a good kicking by the Frenchies all those years ago? That’s what it means to be British 🇬🇧. Foreign cunts just don’t get it.

    Of course these days we’d put William and his mob up in 4 star hotels and polish their rubber dinghies for them. No balls, no fight, no bollocks anymore.

    • One in the eye for old Harold that.
      Do they celebrate this in France? It must be about the last time they actually won anything.

      • Coming up to the 606th anniversary of Agincourt, I bet the disgusting filthy cunts don’t celebrate that.
        My hatred of the french knows no bounds.

  10. That picture is shit! Everybody knows old Shakie was black.
    Mind you, he does look a bit gay so we’re halfway there.

  11. I was lucky enough to have attended, what must have been, one of the very few schools who didn’t cover Shakespeare when I did O level English in the 80s. Therefore, Hamlet is, to me, nothing more than a cigar brand and as a consequence, I’d never get very far on a tv game show. That said, I do know that Old Shaky is a huge part of British culture and should not be besmirched by the woke and the chiggun munchers. If you want a play full of dark keys and arse bandits, write one. They manage to do it every day of the week on tv.

  12. This Jumbo cunt couldn’t have gone to school in this country surely? Can you imagine the teacher calling the register……

    Jackson…………..yes sir

    Jones……………here sir

    Jumbo……….Oi! That’s fattist you whitey racist scum!

    It must have been India. Jumbos get treated with some reverence over there.
    And cows.

  13. This production sounds like the recent David Copperfield film where the whole cast was racially mixed up. Chinese dad’s with black daughters, it was a total abomination and a total head fuck to watch.
    This sounds like the trend at the moment with TV adverts……as if by magic all the White people disappeared.

    • I often wonder if such films ever make any dosh. I think you mess with subject matter such as this at your peril.

      • ‘whole cast was racially mixed up.’

        No matter what they say about equaliry and giving underrepresented people opportunities and all the rest.

        The play itself just looks ‘mixed up’.

  14. They think they’re it this lot.

    Got talking to the pa ki who lives next door to me about all this, and after I complained about the casting he said, “You just think you’re better than me. Well Sir, I am better than you in fact!”

    I was a bit annoyed so I said, “Excuse me. But when did I say I was better than you. And by the way, what makes you better than me?”

    He said, “Well I haven’t got a fucking pa ki living next door to me.”

    (Nod to B. Manning).

  15. The Dublin Shakespeare Company is currently putting on ‘Dick de Shite’; at least they were until it was pointed out that it’s actually ‘Richard de Turd’.

    I’ll get me coat…

  16. I would be nice to live in a country where the majority are white, when occasionally we can see a black actor without it being some kind of political statement.

    All this shit just makes me switch off to anything BAME related.

    • Like homosexuality. If the only interesting thing about you is your sexuality then I’m not interested.

      Same with Race. If the only interesting thing about you is your race then I’m not interested.

  17. ‘It is the most shattering experience of a young man’s life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself, “I will never play the Dane.”

    – Uncle Monty

  18. I wrote a play:

    “Bessie… put the kettle on, love.”
    “Alright, yer fucker.”
    “Do you mind?”
    “You make me have to make tea all the fucking time.”
    “Do you mind Bessie, can you make a cup of tea….”
    “I don’t mind, really I love you, I love you…”
    “Can you light the fire while you’re in there, Bessie love?”
    “I love you Ronnie.”
    “There’s some coal outside the back door…”
    “Yeah, alright, I’ll do anything for you, Ron… roll your balls…”
    “Are me Slippers there Bessie?…. Bessie?”
    “Oh yes dear, the slippers, here they come, I’ll put them on your little feet, dear.”
    “Could you warm them up a bit first, they’ve been outside all day Bessie…”
    (Bessie sings:) “The cows are coming home… Do you like the song, dear?”
    “What? I thought you said the girls were coming home?”
    “No, no, no… we haven’t, err… we haven’t seen… (singing) the cows are coming home…”
    “Okay, go and feed the cows, Bessie, and err….”
    “Ere, what about the fire, my love?”
    “Yes, do the fire, then go see to the cows will you…”
    “Alright, my love…”
    “Can you just drop that parcel off at Freddy’s?”
    “Yes, I’ll do that for you, you know I’ll do anything to make you happy…”
    “Well hurry up, cos he’s got to have it before 6 o’clock…”
    “I know I’ve not always been the best of wives…”
    “And on the way back can you get us an oil filter?”
    “I know I have sinned several times…”
    “I need an oil filter, I’ve got to change the oil in me car.”
    “I remember the last time I got you an oil filter you didn’t want it after all.”
    “Bessie? Bessie?”
    “Yes dear?”
    “Would you go and get me an oil filter? I need an oil filter.”
    “Yes dear, I’m just on my way in now, I’ll have the oil filter with you in half an hour.”
    “That’s right Bessie…”
    “Should I get it from Halford’s, dear?”
    “Have you got some money?”
    “Yes… I’ve got too much money.”
    “I’ll be on my way then. You alright are you?”
    “No. I think I’ll have some toast before you go…”
    “Alright, dear…”
    “I fancy a bit of toast, Bess.”
    “Alright, let me just get me coat off again, come on then, there’s the old grill…”
    “No, on second thoughts, I think, no you’d better go and get the oil filter. And take that parcel round to Freddy…”
    “Well I’ll leave the toast on the side if you want it dear and I’ll be off now and put my coat on and go to get the oil piece, what was the other thing dear?”
    “Well, umm… there’s a parcel to go to Freddy’s…”
    “Freddy’s? Where does Freddy live?”
    “You know where fucking Freddy lives.”
    “Oh, I know, yeah, you mean…”
    “Sunderland? Yes, alright dear, well I’ll just get… what do you want me to get first, the oil heater or the…”
    “No, no, you’ve got it wrong, Bessie… (Bessie near hysterical)… listen! Listen Bessie! You’re getting too excited… (Bessie sobbing now)… I want you to get me an oil filter for my car…”
    “Take the parcel round to Freddy, he’s in Sunderland…”
    “On the way back get the oil filter…”
    “What, twice? Dear. Didn’t you say get the oil filter…”
    “I think I will have the toast before you go, love. I’m getting very peckish.”
    “Alright, I’ll just put it back under the grill then, could you get the butter out of the fridge? Ronnie? Could you get the butter out of the fridge?!”
    “Bessie, is that toast ready yet?”
    “Come on, I’m not taking any lip from you!”
    “Right, coming up right now dear, how much butter do you want? Half a pound on each slice? (long pause) Sorry, I didn’t mean to be sarcastic, but you do eat an awful lot of butter.”
    “Just butter the toast, Bessie… I’ve told you before: no bright sentences. You know what happened last time.”
    “Coming up dear, there you are dear, two lovely pieces of toast. I’ve brought along a selection of jams and nice marmalade in for you dear. Now you settle down and have a nice piece of toast.”
    “Okay, on your way, Bessie…”
    “Would you like anything with your toast?”
    “No, you’d better get round and get that oil filter, Bess…quick, love.”
    “Oh yes, alright dear, alright…”
    “No – I think I will have a couple of sausages on here…”
    “PARDON! What do you want now?!”
    “A couple of sausages on me toast, love. Sorry, you don’t mind do you Bess.”
    “Okay, let me get me coat off…”
    “Yeah, take you coat off, love, otherwise you won’t feel the benefit, when you go out.”
    “Did you put the sausages in the fridge?”
    “Got those sausages yet Bess?”
    “Err…. umm…”
    “Hurry up, love, come on, stop pissing around…”
    “I’m looking for a fork…”
    “I don’t ask for much.”

    © RTC 1983

    Bard eat yer heart out!

  19. … I don’t give toss about the performing arts. Too me it always represented something false and lifestyles that I really don’t care for. They screw about with it to their hearts content cos it doesn’t effect me … never felt inclined to watch or get involved. They were cancelled right from the get go … weird cunts!

  20. By this stage, I just shake my head in resignation and sad disbelief at the woke lunacy of the world we now find ourselves living in.
    I read that DC comics have now announced that Superman’s son is going to be bisexual…..for fucks sake.
    May I just say a quick ‘Good on you sir!’ to former Superman actor Dean Cain though, who upon hearing this wanky wokery, immediately responded by calling the move as, ‘Bandwagoning’, as opposed to brave. Good sir, I salute you 👍

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