Workplace Thievery

Yes I know you cunters will point out I’m in a penal colony and one should expect it as de rigueur.

Sick of the politics of my usual trade (min lab tech) I’ve been a carpenter’s TA for a couple of months now, honest physical work where my foul humour fits in nicely.

However of late tools have been disappearing , some owned by the 6 contractor companies on site most are personal property.

It’s fucking poor form, a decent hammer is $100+, a decent industrial drill with battery $300+ etcetera. Many of us only get paid $30-40 ph.

Whomever the cunt or cunts are, I’m assuming a meth head or hooked on the gee gees in a meeting has been warned by the chair warmers they’ll be kicked off site and handed over to plod when caught

But it’s up to us on the floor what we may do unto them beforehand. My father and stepfather were both in the RAN (Mum loved seamen), thieves got their hand caught in a hatch and or fell down a gangway.

A similar fate awaits this cunt if I catch him.

Dog cunt.

Nominated by: Shackledragger cunt

33 thoughts on “Workplace Thievery

  1. Stealing a working person’s tools of their trade really gets my goat.
    We’ve had an epidemic of thefts from trademens vans, and van theft itself.
    It’s not as if insurance is free with three cornflake packet tops, ffs!
    What really sends my blood pressure soaring is the current spate of thefts of mobility scooters, which once the battery has died, are then ser alight!
    What the fuck?
    Yes, right hands off!

    • Wherever I worked before being self employed there was always a bit of theiving from the company, but never off your workmates!
      Wouldn’t cross anyone’s mind and if they did theyd of got battered.
      Once in Manchester at DKNY on king Street (bit posh)
      I had to go in and search all the staff and their bags,
      A young girl was pale as fuck
      Near to tears,
      Knew shed nicked something.
      It was a silk tie!
      Obviously for her dad for Christmas or something.
      I pretended her bag was clear and let her go .

      • Hehehe 😀
        Naw just a young kid CG.
        Felt sorry for her, the tie probably cost half her weekly wage .
        She couldn’t believe it when I said “clear” and she knew id saw it, the relief on her face!
        Poor fucker, hope her dad liked the tie off his light-fingered daughter?😀

  2. Bloody disgusting. Can you get a toolbox and stick a padlock on it? Interrupts your flow but better than losing hundreds of dollars. Don’t leave tools onsite overnight. Pain the ass but you’ll end up working for nothing otherwise. And how about a UV market pen thing?

    • I helped myself to a few bits from the firms stationery cupboard…when I was young (and though inexperienced, I knew the cunts were taking the piss paying me £26 a week), but stealing from other people is a no no…..

      ….although I did once nick a rug-top’s jazz mag out of his draw – only because he was a solid gold Cunt & had been showing off all day to anyone who would give him 5 mins….
      …that was 35yrs ago …. maybe my piles is my punishment ?

  3. To take a man’s means of making a living is a cunt move for sure. There are a number of creative ways to catch a thief. One is to set up game cameras. Another is to bait the cunt and catch ’em. An example made of the cunt will go far to prevent a reoccurrence. Screw his hands to some scrap wood and drive him away with a nail gun.

  4. Site tool thieves are cunts and deserve to have an industrial accident happen to them when caught and then given a good shoeing.

    Nicking another man’s tools is akin to taking money from his pocket to replace them and any lost earnings whilst he cannot work so deserving of the above double punishment

  5. I loved stealing boxes of pens and assorted office stationary from my last job. If it doesn’t have a price tag or isn’t inside a locked cabinet then it’s fair game. It’s like going to a hotel and getting free soap, toothbrush and towel.

    • And the dressing gown and slippers. They add it on to your bill, & have to refund you if you don’t pinch them.

      • You see, I don’t get that. I’d never wear slippers or a dressing gown in a hotel. Sleeping and showering, that’s all a hotel is for. The less time you are in the room, the better. 10 hours per night/day, maximum. Hotels these days are creepy, obnoxious places, well overdue a cunting on ISAC. The hygiene is atrocious in most hotels, even the luxury ones. Bed bugs don’t give a fuck about the cost you pay per night in a hotel. They roam the carpet during the day then crawl into the bed at night. And they’ll crawl into your suitcase and take over your bedroom. Rent a flat for the trip if you can. Hotels are an antiquated concept in the 21st century. Sharing a building at night with drunken, noisy obnoxious cunts and useless 20-something gimpy spastics is torture.

    • I’ve never understood stealing towels from a hotel. Hundreds of hairy Harrys have dried their claggy arses on those towels (blech). The only thing ever worth stealing is hard cash because if you get caught, you just say, “that’s my money, had it in me wallet for weeks” and who’s to say it isn’t unless the rozzers know the serial numbers? You can put it in the bank within an hour. Whereas stealing actual goods can get you caught very easily. And it’s a hassle being a Del Boy type dodgy dealer. In real life, Del and Rodders would be getting nicked every third episode, unlike the singular episode where Roy Slater (Jim Broadbent) grills them for hours for appropriating a new-fangled microwave.

      The bloke in the pub flogging dodgy gear is greatly missed though. Any stories of meetings with those guys? What were they flogging that day?

      • I’m pretty sure the hotel towels get taken by a catering type company each day and sent to the nearest incinerator, or to Africa.

      • A guy I was at school with had a younger brother, arrogant smart-arse he was, who tried selling a wedge of counterfeit bank notes in the pub. Guy he was trying to sell them to was an off-duty copper. He got two years. He!He!

  6. ‘Chair Warmers’… brilliant

    I’m going to use that more in conversation… (in the right context, of course)

  7. I used to have a mate who worked at a computer supplies firm. He used to steal equipment and sell it on Ebay. Guess where he works now?

    • No! He joined the POLICE! I couldn’t believe it when he announced it. God knows why he wanted to go into that shite, dealing with liars spitting on you on saturday nights in December and breaking up fights between couples in their smelly flat at midnight. Sitting in a car with your derping partner waiting for a call. Fuck that. He was better off flogging hard-drives and he got a free bar by his boss from time to time.

  8. If you’re self employed and carry a lot of expensive tools and drills etc you an never let your guard down , not for a second
    My fucking bike 👀 anyone see it ?

  9. I fucking despise thievery and would sack any employee, on the spot.

    The biggest “theft” by British workers, is “time”.

    A mate if mine hired two lads for some manual work in his garden-they spent half the time on their fucking phones.
    He deducted a reasonable amount from their bill-the lazy cunts😀👍

  10. S.C, When you catch said light fingered cunt can you not screw his nads to concrete with spike and let some poisonous insects play with him? Failing that a fall from a height can do the trick.

    Good luck with catching the cunt.

  11. Some years ago I worked for an IT services company who had a contract with a supermarket chain to maintain point-of-sale kit. A field engineer was sent to fix some POS kit at one store a couple of times. Shortly after his second visit the store manager phoned the FE’s manager to say that after both visits the till where he had been working was £10 down. Fortunately the FE’s manager was worldly-wise and asked the store manager to hold fire and on the engineer’s next visit to check the till immediately before and after without the engineer’s knowledge. After the engineer left the till was correct; at the end of the day it was again £10 down. A sow who worked on the checkout stole a tenner each time the engineer was in knowing he would be blamed.

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