Sport Hyperbole

Could all sports commentators please please stop using the word ’historic’.

The only way in which the vast majority of statements they lazily throw at us can be deemed historic is that they have already happened and that essentially applies to everything, including me composing this.

Also, not everything that happens in sport is either amazing or sensational, I’ve just watched motd and, as good as Danny ings’ goal was it didn’t warrant several pundits jizzing their underwear throughout the course of final score and motd – they’ve basically awarded him the goal of the season two weeks into the new season. Calm down you over excitable cunts.

Sorry, I forgot to add, events such as Tom Daley and another boy winning gold medals does not ‘ unite the nation’, the vast majority of folks are indifferent to the achievements of the two of them jumping into the water and to that cunt who I heard on the radio suggesting that Simone biles ‘inspires every generation’, no she doesn’t.

Can I also mention the relentless promotion of women’s sport. If the England and Wales cricket board wish to recreate the current events taking place at Kabul airport all it would take would be to schedule the women’s hundred before the proper, albeit unnecessary, men’s event.

Nominated by: Keith Hall

63 thoughts on “Sport Hyperbole

  1. Obviously this nom was written up before Emma Radancanu winning the U.S Open last night, you ain’t seen nothing yet. The BBC probably have Clare Balding ready on standby with a rub down and an ice bath.

    • I’d probably give Balding a seeing to, if it meant I could own the much sought after knickers that tennis bird wore during the final.

      I don’t think I’d ever come up for air again.

    • She’s already been tipped for a medal in the NY Honours next year. I mean FFS she’s done her job of winning a cup, and getting paid nicely for it. But does it really warrant an OBE or MBE!?

      The way MSM are cumming in their pants with all this “heroic” fanfare you’d think she was the first bint to land on the Moon.

      I suppose being a BAME and token Brit probably helps with all the euphoria!

      Is she a tuppence licker per chance, because if she is hold the front page, second page, centre pages, back pages and supplements!

    • Balding has already been on channel 4 news with the usual inspiring a generation, blah, blah, blah.

      Not wishing to piss on her (Radacanu) parade but the top end of women’s tennis is lottery, I must admit that I watched the final and she played very well and deserved her victory. It was actually a first, first time a qualifier has won a grand slam so I guess she has made history.

    • I didn’t watch it myself but the .wife did.
      Apparently the septic tank went up and before saying congratulations she asked her if she knew how much she’d won in prize money.

      The fucking BBC are all over this of course every chance they get. I despise those cunts.

  2. Sport is shite these days. It’s all about the ££.

    And yes, commentators and pundits are all overexcitable knobheads. Especially that team of cunts at the BBfuckingC.

  3. Aye, they love speaking for us all, don’t they?

    The England football team ‘unite the nation’ apparently.

    Well, in polls about knee taking it’s pretty split whether fans want it or not. So they’re actually dividing the nation with political posturing, not uniting it.

    And they do put the women’s cricket (the 100) on just before the men’s game…in the same ground. I’ve seen them doing that anyway.

    Basically, to force a crowd to appear in front of the cameras. Nobody is going to watch the women’s games. But by hell, you will watch them!

    They tried this sort of woke shite before by over promoting the women’s cricket League in previous years (Kia were the sponsors). Empty grounds (even pre Covid no cunt went) and nobody watched it on the telly. So sponsorship withdrawn and competition over.

    The solution? Fuck women’s cricket off until it (perhaps) gets better?

    Or patronise it and force people to watch it when they buy a ticket for the men’s game? You might say ‘just turn up after about 2 hours and it’ll be almost over,’ but some of these teams are so shit, it can be over pretty quickly and then you go straight into the men’s game.

    Stop forcing this garbage on paying customers. They don’t fucking want it!

    • The only thing historic about most sports personalities is their sex offences.
      Same with Legend or legendary,
      Its bollocks they mean.
      Listen, your overpaid to play a schoolyard game or playing field hobby.
      Dont lets get carried away.
      If I wanted the opinion of some ball chasing fuckin moron id ask the dog.
      Crack on you cunts.

      • Can only agree with every word Miserable. And the dog would probably give you a more coherent answer.

    • I’m going to make s prediction.

      At some point in the near future, you’ll have all men’s and women’s football/cricket fixtures on the same day and same ground.

      Easy you might say, just arrive when the wimmins has finished. Well, my prediction is that they’ll coin toss minutes before the first game to decide if the men or women play first.

      Make no mistake, they want to force this shit down your throat.

  4. Sport is not always as advertised.
    I was invited along to a corporate day out at a drag racing event. If I’m honest I couldn’t recommend it.
    Watching blokes running qualifying heats in dresses and high heels is not my idea of a good day out….

    • How about a “drag hunt”? That sounds right up my street. I wouldn’t mind chasing some trannies down if Sir Fiddler would lend me his hounds.

      • It really pissed me off that Tom Daley, the homosexual diver, got all the BBC praise and superlatives, when his partner, Matt Lee, straight and just as good as Tom Daley was treated as if he were nothing – or just a dummy to Tom’s ventriloquist act. They won gold. On his own, a few days later Tom won bronze, an achievement, yes, but it just proves that Matt Lee was needed by TD to get the gold. ML was every bit as good.

        The fact that Tom goes on dining off it and Matt Lee is forgotten, and makes no attempt to cash in on it, proves to me, that the media are not interested in straight white men, any more than our MPs are.

  5. Raducanu not even British.

    Canadian birth, Romanian father, Chinese mother.

    I’m not trying to piss on anyone’s chips but end of day, the people celebrating her win probably consider Lennox Lewis British too

    Can’t have it both ways you utter cunts

    • But it’s the very fact that she’s an immo that is making the MSM jizz their pants. A fine example to the lazy, good for nothing Brits.

    • Good for Emma. If you hear her speak she’s as British as they come and she regards herself as British, saying she was proud to follow in the footsteps of other British “sporting legends”. Seems she’s proud to be British.

      Doesn’t matter where you were born. If you come to the UK, make a contribution, accept British values and bat for Britain then you’re as British as they come.

      • She makes a welcome change to the thousands of benefit scroungers turning up on the beach every week.

      • Don’t worry Ruff, many here, myself included, would still shag her. Hell, she and a few of her friends could piss and squirt all over me.

  6. Everything is hyped-up these days.

    Hyperbolic speech has become the norm.

    Another bug bear of mine is the whole, “it is the first time a one legged, rug-munching, spastik, jam spoon has achieved X, what a historic achievement!”

    Get fucked, it is not historic. It has all been done by big bad nasty whitey man, decades, if not centuries ago.

  7. Sports pundits and commentators have often been carried away by the emotions of the moment, but I must agree it’s steadily got worse. More often than not it sounds like someone reading the sports pages of the Sun or Daily Star, all superlatives and hyperbole.
    Wimminz sports are bigged up even more to disguise the utter shite being served up (football and cricket predominantly) and talentless lezzers are being elevated to god like status by the likes of the bbc. Don’t get me started on the fucking mbe’s and knighthoods. Especially to those from already privileged backgrounds and the cunts who make a good living from lottery funded minority sports. Those tossers never give anything back.

  8. My walk along the local canal path was marred by two cunts yesterday. The first was some prick and his mate walking along, and one of them had some form of speaker that was blasting out the sort of cunt music that mongs listen to nowadays. Thankfully this prick was walking the opposite direction, so his racket faded eventually. However, the second prick was walking behind me, and he was listening to the football results on his phone speaker, so for about quarter of hour, I had to listen to some cunt getting excited about a sport I fucking despise from a tinny fucking speaker that wasn’t that loud, but too loud to ignore. Thoughtless cunts, I wanted to sling them in the fucking canal.

    • That reminds me of the old days ……you come out of the football and there would be some flash cunt with one of those new fangled trannie radios stuck to his ear and a big aerial sticking up. He would be surrounded by blokes saying……
      “How did Arsenal get on mate?”
      “How about the Millwall cunts mate?”
      “What about fucking West Ham mate?”
      Today’s instant gratification yoof would go fucking mental!
      Happy days.

    • Yes, what is this shit music all the mongs are listening to?

      I’ve tried to listen to it. It has no melody. Just no quality whatsoever.

      I’d lock them in a room and play them some Nelson Riddle arrangements on loop for days on end.

      Cunts.

      • There’s a cue for a music break, Dick – one of Nelson Riddle’s most famous arrangements for old blue eyes:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1AHec7sfZ8

        Mrs Boggs has just done a remake – I’ve Got You Under My Flabby Folds of Flesh. She used to be a fan of the LOvin’ Spoonful – now she’s the Lovin’ Shovelful.

  9. Unbelievable, no its not
    Genius, some cunt that manages to beat a player
    Sublime, fuck off
    That’s got to be one of the greatest moments in sport WTF , so last weeks greatest moment does not count anymore
    fucking shouty cunts are sports commentators of today

  10. Exactly. If the BBC and the rest of the wokie media were serious they would highlight sports such as motor racing, snooker, darts, archery, shooting, Crown green bowls etc where Wimminz can compete on equal terms. The trouble is THEY STILL FUCKING LOSE so it doesn’t fit the political narrative. Much easier, and cheaper, to cover Wimminz spazzing around at football, cricket and rugby and then calling you names because you don’t want to watch that shit.

  11. Emma Raducanu is already favourite to win SPOTY. This might present a problem for those who divide everything based on identity as other contenders include, Raheem Sterling, Tom Daley and Lewis Hamilton.

    For the record she seems pretty grounded and what she did was actually historic regarding winning the tournament as a qualifier despite women’s tennis and sport in general being shite. Now she has a high profile will she be commenting on social justice shite and tweeting about woke bollocks on Twitter?

    • i hope she does not fall for those fuckers that will inevitably turn up now that she is big money
      just shut you’re hole luv and keep winning like the real stars of before

  12. Emma Raducanu, she has achieved a stunning success and deserves a measured degree of praise.

    Between the media and the story hungry public she will be destroyed. Already being touted as an example of our great diversity, already being politicised.

    She’s a pretty girl so the media will work that angle to death, god forbid she wants a private life or to wear a bikini to the beach.

    She may enjoy the attention to begin with but I’m sure she’ll soon want some normality in her life. She’ll have more Klingons than a wookies arse now. Who can she trust? I hope she doesn’t get involved with some council estate rap star.

    My advice would be play a season, retire and write your biography, then take the money and run. A lot of those applauding you will be waiting to kick you when your down Emma. Don’t let the cunts ruin you or your life.

    • I agree, I’m usually fairly indifferent to how these sporting stars go about their business. But Emma seems very distanced from any woke agenda pushing and seems very pleasant all round. I fucking pray the media don’t try and create her into another Naomi Osaka-level pulpit straddling virtue hoarding cunt.

  13. Maybe we could just club together to buy them a thesaurus?

    Then they could look up new words to replace those worn thin trites they use.

  14. Stopped watching women’s tennis the day they stopped wearing flouncy little skirts and frilly knickers, and the grunters took over.

    • I bet you’d watch ladies tennis if Günter Parche was invited (with a big knife).
      Amazingly, that prick got a suspended sentence for almost paralyzing Monica Seles. I mean, she was no looker, to be sure, but didn’t deserve getting stabbed like that.
      Steffi Graf paid Parche to stab Seles, by the way. Tennis’ Tonya Harding…

  15. Many moons ago when I was a young reporter I had to cover Raith Rovers – Kirkcaldy´s finest – for my paper, providing 125 words every 15 minutes for the special Saturday sports editions that existed then. I also did a lot by freelancing for Scottish Television, BBC, Radio Clyde, Radio Forth etc and other papers in Glasgow and Edinburgh. Some required a “man of the match” award so we hacks sitting in freezing cold shithole “press boxes” who were so busy writing that we hardly watched the match would often agree among ourselves on a “man of the match” and choose a name at random. This was no problem when the final result was Raith Rovers 0 Cowdenbeath 0. No chance of sporting exaggeration in those days.

  16. Way over the top reporting of this bird. She won a final for fuck sake. Is that not what she is supposed to do? If she was white then there would not be half as much fuss over this. Fuck off sport. Fuck off news. Just fuck off.

  17. Am currently reading this morning’s Telegraph online, and all about Boris’ intention of scrapping any further lockdowns blah blah woof woof. But on the same page in the side-bar column there’s news links to the following:-

    “Tim Henman’s reputation reformed by Amazon Prime and Emma Raducanu”
    “Pier’s Morgans tweets Emma Raducanu’s talent”
    “Emma Raducanu has become the nation’s perfect daughter”
    “Emma Raducanu set for you New Year’s honour”
    “A young lightening bolt – Emma Raducanu”

    I mean FFS, fair play she won a grand slam, but judging by the MSM reaction you would think there was no other news worth mentioning!

  18. When annoyed by commentary I have to mute the television. Then again I only really bother with two sports; Football and Rugby.

    Football commentary is utterly ridiculous these days. Even back when Beckham was at his peak (2001-2005), the praise he received was all a bit much, and then Rooney appeared.

    The ‘white Pele’, one pundit called him.

    • Football commentators are absolutely fucking awful.

      The Darren Fletcher – Steve McManacunt combo being about the very worst.

      I remember a few years ago in the early days of digital telly when you could opt for crowd noise only.

      Nowadays that option doesn’t appear to be there.

      Must be so they can constantly remind the viewer how lucky they are to be watching instead of maybe letting the viewer make their own mind up. Maybe they could even commentate objectively.

      • The no commentary option will never be allowed now we’ve got wimmins and dark keys on commentary.

        You will listen to them!

        In a few years, if you turn the sound down to avoid some clueless bint’s chuntering, a van will appear outside your home with loudspeakers playing the commentary. Hands over your ears? Heavies will break your door down and break your arms.

        You vill listen to me! Ein Reich…!

      • I used to love listening to bbc faav laav.

        Golden memories of childhood Saturday afternoons with the likes of James Alexander Gordon.

        Now we have intellectual titans such as Clinton ”av never heard a da Rollin Stones innit” Morrison on there polluting the airwaves.

        Another thing stolen from me by the identity crazed wokerati cocksuckers.

  19. I wouldn’t fancy me chances pavement dancing with that gobshite Chelsea lezza manager Emma Hayes.
    She would of made a blinding Stabshauptführerin

    • @RD

      Two of the very best there.

      I’d add Brian ” it’s in there!!!” Moore to complete the list with Jimmy Armfield and Big Ron Atkinson on co commentary

      • Hugh Johns was great, but people have forgotten how poetic he could be at times, he was brilliant. Commentated on the four World Cup Finals of 1970 (with Bobby Moore) to 1982.

        Commentators these day don’t add anything good to the experience. They have no gifts of language or humour. It’s just so “blah” and only useful when something truly confusing happens, although when that Danish player collapsed the commentator was useless and walked on eggshells and we all had to jump on Twitter, etc to get a clue on what happened.

        We are in a age of confusion and mediocrity. I think it’s designed to be that way to make us despair. Well, FUCK THAT.

  20. David Coleman was slightly before my time as a commentator but that “one – nil” is iconic.

    I remember him more as the quiz master on Question of Sport.

    Another I liked was the late Peter Brackley of Football Italia in the early 90s.
    Which was also probably the best programme in Channel 4’s history.
    In my opinion of course.

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