Kristen Stewart – Princess Died

An ‘is anybody there’ cunting for some luvvie fucker called Kristen Stewart.

”Diana’s spirit gave me the sign-off to portray her in film, claims Kristen Stewart”

”Asked whether she had ever had a paranormal encounter, she added: “No. But I felt some spooky, spiritual feelings making this movie. Even if I was just fantasising. I felt like there were moments where I kind of got the sign-off.”

”Saying she would “fully break down” two or three times a week after remembering she was dead, Stewart added: “I just could not come to terms with it, because I was fighting to keep her alive every single day.”

Fuck me drunk. The spirit of the Princess of Hearts kinda gave the sign off. For a fucking soap opera.

Her spirit is certainly alive and well. Kinda.

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Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble

48 thoughts on “Kristen Stewart – Princess Died

    • Shes nailed her!
      Attention seeking
      In love with herself
      A head the ball with mental issues
      Skinny bony bulimic cunt,
      Fuck me!!
      Back from the grave!
      If she starts picking bits of windscreen out of her hair its her.

  1. Let’s hope that the daft bint dies in a Parisian tunnel with a steering column through her face.

  2. Which Diana do you suppose they’ll show?

    1.) The shy, demure, misunderstood, suffering, ostracised, press-hounded, sensitive, conservative, quiet, two O’levels and an award for looking after rabbits, Di?

    2.) The media-manipulating, knew-what-she-was-doing-from-the-start, secretly visit a hospital at Midnight to hug a few AIDS kids and lo-and-fucking-behold there’s a hundred journalists coincidentally there too, over-ere-darling-one-for-the-Mail, Di?

    3.) The schlong-hungry, bend over for anybody even muzlims and rugger cunts, easy-lay, shameless cockaholic Di?

    • I thought she only had one CSE in needlework or some such shit?

      An award for looking after rabbits too. Gosh, she really was an intellectual powerhouse!

      She was the princess of cunts and is still dead, the last time I checked.

      I will never forgive her for ruining my Sunday morning wankathon over Sister Johanna (A Swedish vetinary nurse based kids programme in scandinavia) with unrelenting news of her karking it on all channels.

      The selfish bitch.

      • Naa, number one. They’re not going to show all the shagging and prang-sniffing, that’d be too honest. It’ll be woe-is-me number one all the way to the bank to perpetuate the myth.

    • Hello Spoons!
      This girl would of benefitted from the paranormal powers of Dead Derek Acorah wouldn’t she?
      Would of been able to talk to Di personally!!

      “Alrite dere Kristen?!
      Im dat princess Diana like,
      Yer doing a cracking joke like kid!!
      Dont fergit to give Dek a tip like,eh? Sound like.
      Oh an he only takes cash kirsty!!
      None of dat cheques shite .
      Give me love to dat willy an Harry, an I’ll see ya all in heaven luv!
      See ya!”

    • Good Afternoon Spoons,

      You can’t wear a seat belt if you are handing out a blow job on the back seat. According to my mate in the Northamptonshire police they found Dodi’s winkle in her gob and that’s what stopped her breathing.

      • Good afternoonings, WS.
        That sounds horrible. Put me right off spotted dick and custard for pudding.

  3. What a load of Hollywood psycho babble. Paranormal encounter? Probably just seeing Prince Philip in the hallway after his 2.30am piss.

    • He was probably searching for MeAgain’s address in Hollywood. “Where does that bally half-caste live?”

      Shame Prince Phillip never got to ‘make the call’.

      • I’m hoping that the order was given, but with a time delay so it’s a nasty surprise for Megraine and as a nice surprise for Madge on her platinum jubilee.

  4. These cunts always have these profound moments when they can’t call a butler to find the diazepam.

    Step on a landmine.

    Then fuck off.

  5. Channeling the royal family?
    I got spiritually possessed by Prince Andrew and told both the arresting officer and the judge that when caught on ladders outside Chorlton Girls School gymnasium.
    As a defense it didn’t seem to hold much water?

  6. Be rude not to Mr Knee. Ms Stewart would indeed suffer great pain beneath the battering of Der Gheeammer.

  7. Never understood the fascination with Died Anna or Kristen.

    Kristen is an ugly little nob who has lost relevance and is as good looking as a donkeys arse.

    Thought of the whole film as as nauseating as her bullshit about spiritual blessing. How do the journalists avoid laughing in the face of these ‘celebs’ when they talk colossal bullshit like this?

  8. Di is so last century now. We’ve got the new improved mixed race feminist Meg now. Meg would’ve eaten Di for breakfast.

    Looking forward to Andrew a Prince for all ages to come out. Brian ‘creative suicide’ Epstein has his Ghislaine, Andy’s got Fergie, they are very close again.

    Any movie about Lady look at me Di is nothing compared to what’s to come.

    • The Lady Di franchise will run for years!
      The scars of Diana
      Taste the blood of Diana
      Diana has risen
      Zoltan hound of Diana
      The bride’s of Diana
      Diana meets the wolfman.
      Hope Christopher Lee plays her!

      • Dame Elton has fallen and hurt his hip so his world tour is delayed until 2023. I fear Diana the musical may never see the stage.

        I was looking forward to 24 virgins by the dashboard lights so much.

  9. Vomit emoji!

    Brings back memories of having to take the kids up a local hill to escape the loony TV coverage that day…

  10. Fundamentally, an actor/actress is someone who dresses up like a big Wendy and pretends to be someone else. That’s fucking it. Yet cretinous fuckwits like this dozy bint spout endless bollocks about how challenging it is. What’s so challenging about pretending to be a slag with a privileged background, when that’s basically what you already are in real life? (Allegedly).

  11. I wonder who she is channeling when eating the pussy of some other lezz. Maybe Gene Simmons from KISS? I like her acting overall. Robert Patinson fucked her up somehow as after they split she went psyco.

  12. All these cunts are told what to say by their agents. 15% of fuck all is fuck all, even “on the other side.”

  13. Stewart is in the Amber Heard class of Hollywood nutter. Serial knob muncher, quintessential marriage wrecker, then ‘decides’ to be a dyke and licks out half of Hollyweird’s sluts, and now thinks she is posessed by Diana Sloaney’s ghost.
    Stewart willl either OD or cark it of AIDS within two years.

  14. What about that black sort who played Anne Boleyn? I hear she was visited by a white ghost with a French accent who called her a culturally appropriating fucking fake.

  15. Kristen Stewart, talentless, dull looking, attention seeking and now it turns out a fucking nutcase to boot. No idea how the cunt keeps getting acting gigs, I’ve had farts capture the attention of a room better than her, getting Weinsteined I suppose.

  16. They obviously spent a lot of time trying to find someone who could pass for Diana, then gave up and give her the gig.
    I think it was family guy that said of Kirstin ‘she looks like a bath girl that should be a shower girl’
    Class insult.

  17. It finally dawned on me who this sullen eyed cow is; She’s the boring bitch from the Twilight films.
    Jesus, I’d rather watch Danny ‘one trick cockney geeeeezer pony’ fucking Dyer or Vin ‘aliens must have stolen my charisma’ Diesel than sit through anything with her in ever again.

    • Even Steven “who ate all the pies” Seagal.
      Fat cunt.
      And Diesel will probably blubber if Stallone makes one last Expendables film, and doesn’t ask him to be in it….

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