Old Cunts in Wheelchairs

Yours Truly must state for the record that he is older than most of the bastards out there and has total contempt for the gibbering farting pack of ’em.

They use their monstrous heavy sharp edged contraptions as offensive weapons to assault the citizenry about their lawful business while under the delusion that their covid masks make them mister anonymous.

Example: YT had fought his way to the end of the queue at me local Co-Op and was about to make an ethical caring sharing purchase when one of the old fuckers gunned his motor and shot in front of me. Politely informed old scummy scrotum that he was behind me and assumed me rightful place at the Check Out and he had better behave or I would pull his tubes out.

Old Cunto then aims his foot boards at me ankles and tries to block the Check Out aisle with his war chariot. So climb over the old cunt and engage in verbals and make me purchase while he tries to repeatedly ram raid me bollocks.

Politely made the point that if he continued like that he would likely have a stroke and that the slimy bubbles coming out of his nose and mouth were not, in my opinion, a good sign.

Further verbals of an Anglo Saxon nature then to calm him down I disconnected his battery. That did the trick and stopped his morphine pump as well. Made me excuses and left.

Interesting that no-one in the shop intervened or went to help the old cunt despite his obvious distress.

Cruel hard world in the Co-Op.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

45 thoughts on “Old Cunts in Wheelchairs

  1. You were lucky that scarf of yours didn’t get caught up in his spokes…….you might have ended up like Isadora Duncan.

  2. I had no idea that we lived in the same town as Limpers until I read this.

    I similar vein, we have ‘shared space’ in our town centre which means no road signs or the like to ve scene. The coffin dodgers who live her have tge habit of walking out straight in front of motors when crossing the road. YT frequently applies brakes and horn and yells through car window “It’s not a fucking crossing!”

    On one such occasion old cunt yelled “You’re supposed to stop!” and assaults driver’s door with his walking stick. The old cunt now needs a new stick and YT has invested in air horns…

    • Good to see you Sir. Not only do we share the same townscape we also seemingly share medication. Cunt karma.

  3. I remember a young Cunt..mid 30s..who came to the village and used a wheelchair. Social Serivces were paying his rent and gave him one of the old-people bungalows… spent thousands doing the place out for him. It was never explained why he came to a remote village but a few of us had our suspicions….he was a genuinely creepy bloke,you wouldn’t have left him alone with your dog,never mind a child. He used to come to the Pub every night and was thoroughly unpleasant…I remember him boasting one time that he’d spent the day using a broom-shank to poke holes in the ceilings because the Council wouldn’t redecorate the rooms to his taste.

    Anyhow, it got round the village that he could actually get out of his chariot and had been seen walking when he thought nobody was watching and one night as we were all leaving he shouted something along the lines off…” Aye.get yourselves away and make some some money to pay yer tax.. I fancy a new Mobility car and you Cunts can pay for it”….It was all too much for Jeff,one of our group, who shot across the carpark,grabbed the handles of Crips wheelchair,bellowed ” Let’s see if you actually need a chariot,ya sponging Cunt” and shot off pushing the Cunt over the brow of the steep hill leading to the Pub…Jeff was a big lad and built up quite a head of steam before letting the Cunt go off down the bank..we watched in awe as Ironside disappeared at something approaching warp-speed…he was in more danger of taking to the skies than crashing into anything on the ground…alas,all good things come to an end and the wheelchair clipped the verge which sent Crip sprawling into a hedge. We ran down,picked him up and put him back in his chair…he was strangely good about the whole thing,in fact it was the nicest anyone could remember him being…thought it was all a tremendous joke….never understood that. Still.it did settle the question of whether he could walk..he couldn’t.
    He left the village not long after..apparently the rural life didn’t suit him…I always wondered if Social Services thought that we had worked out he had a “history” and decided to shift him before anything else happened.

      • I reckon he was motoring off down the hill at a higher take-off speed than anything Bader ever managed in his Hurricane,tbh,,Freddie.

      • Well, whoever he was, he obviously wasn’t the only one legless that night. Ableist!
        He wasn’t black was he?

      • We have no Sooties in rural Northumberland,Freddie…which considering the amount of forestry we have is surprising…miles and miles of trees for them to nest and breed in…I’m guessing that the midges, prickly conifers and lack of KFCs makes it unappealing to those of a darker hue.

      • Too cold for them Lord F-they require a temperate climate and proximity to all of “evil-whitey’s” facilities.

    • I think this should be adopted for anyone in need of a wheelchair, and it should have an apt name for it. “The Over The Hill Test”

      Any suspicion that someone is faking being wheelchair-bound, should be pushed with some considerable gusto by two muscular social workers, over the steepest of local hills. If they get up and run then clearly they are bounders and should be thoroughly ashamed; if they remain in their seats they have passed the test!

      If there are no hills present, then perhaps pushing the person across all 3 lanes of the nearest dual carriageway/motorway unassisted during rush-hour, might return similar results.

    • DF@ – Should have set him on fire just to be sure! 😀
      30 year olds in wheelchairs where I live, claiming permanent disability is a career move.

  4. Ironside, professor x, sandy from Crossroads.
    All good role models for the disabled.
    Cant remember the last time I saw someone in a wheelchair?
    Normally mistake them for ‘penny for a guy’ ,
    Throw them some loose change.
    But people say
    “Put yourself in their shoes’
    And if you think about it,
    Their shoes should last forever?!

    • Dr Strangelove was a great role model for cunts in wheelchairs.

      Morning Miserable, morning all.

      • Father Jack was either armchair-bound or wheelchair bound.

        A great figurehead for all old cunts in wheelchairs

        Feck off!

  5. That mong nikki fox on al bbc, she has a wheelchair, have you seen her face when she talks? When she speaks her face looks like she is having a stroke, what a cunt, and a bbc tv presenter too, makes her a double cunt

    • The morning show reporter from Adelaide, Charles Brice is their token disabled bloke. I have no problem with that, what makes me cringe is the very weak moustache he’s been attempting for months (my late evil gran* had a far more impressive tea strainer) but because he’s in a chair no one will tell him he looks 15 year old peeping Tom. Coddling him unfair to him and the viewing public
      * She was Prussian.

  6. It’s really young cunts in wheelchairs the problem round here. They’re so drunk theyre not in control of the vehicle.
    One waving a bottle of lambrini outside the GPO the other day.
    Mind you he had only got one leg.
    He had a buddy with him. On crutches.

  7. And a few of these knighted ‘heroes’ from the Spaccalympics only won their medals because they had a specially modified £10,000 wheelchair. A bit like winning a bike race on a £12,000 Pinarello Dogma F (sort of bike used in this year’s Tour de France) and claiming you’re the best, even though the other cunts were on Raleigh Grifters and Choppers.

    I think things are changing, but I still look at some of thee chariots that win against some poor African at the back and think ‘Ferrari vs milk float’.

    Fuck off.

    • I’ve always thought the races would be more interesting (and fair) if they were tipped out of their wheelchairs at the start. I think middle and long distance events would be out of the question of course, but the 100m would be ace. Some would be dragging themselves with their arms. Some rolling. Some walking on their hands. Maybe the odd arse shuffle?

      Don’t tell me you wouldn’t watch it.

      May the lord have mercy on my soul.

  8. Sir Limply: I am shocked that you would lower yourself enough to patronise the CO-OP-which could very well stand for “Cunts Only-Or P.a.ed.o’s”.

    What were you shopping for? Cheap super-lager? Lottery scratch cards?

    I would picture you more as a Waitrose chap, calling the stuck up Home Counties set “cunts”, under your breath 👍

    Bravo on the battery trick-superbly cunted, Sir👏

    • As it happens they are the only store in me neck of the woods and they do stock a very acceptable single malt which is on revolving discount. Waitrose is good for a spot of shoplifting though.

      • And if a may mark your card The Shackleton dies painless on the way down. A blend but about as good as you get. Bollocks on the bottle about how it was originally blended for the ill fated expedition but a fine tipple regardless. On discount in the Co-Op and other fine purveyors of the grain.

  9. There are people that are pragmatic about their particular disabilities but of course they are not the ones that warrant a thoroughly good cunting.

    It’s the ones that demand special treatment and special access wherever they go.

    I know that there is a difference between permanent and temporary disabilities, but if I were to break an ankle or leg then I would have to accept that there are certain things that are not available to me.

    If I wanted to go to a bar or restaurant where the access is difficult then I would simply abandon the idea and go somewhere more practical.
    I wouldn’t demand a wheelchair slope or lift for the few occasions that I might visit.

    I wouldn’t insist on special treatment.
    People have their own lives to live and the overwhelming majority of people are not disabled.

    I’m not saying that I wouldn’t try to help someone if they needed assistance, but if some cunt started making demands then they can go and fuck themselves.

    • I spoke to an engineer years ago who did a study for London Underground (as was). He calculated that it was cheaper to pay for taxis for all the spaccas in London, rather than modify every fucking station, train, bus and bus stop.

  10. Sir Limply’s tale reminds me of the time I was heading off to a social gathering with a mate, who was driving.
    At the bottom of a local steep hill, we saw an old chap sitting motionless on his mobility’ scooter, on the pavement.

    I persuaded my mate to stop and got out and walked back, asking the old chap if he was ok.
    He was visibly upset and said his battery had died and he had to get home. It was also starting to rain.
    Assuming he lived in his direction of travel (level pavement into town), I offered to push him home, which he gratefully accepted.

    “Where do you live?” asked I.
    “Back up there” he replied, pointing at the hill.

    My mate is now pissing himself, leaning against the door of his Shogun.

    Have you ever tried pushing one of these things uphill? It didn’t help that the old boy must have been 5 stone overweight, too.
    To compound my misery, it started to rain hard.
    It was now a matter of pride and I put my head down and pushed that fucker 250 yards up that slope.
    When I got to the turning for his home, it turned out he lived in an annex converted from the double garage of his Daughters house.
    Having rung the bell, she came out, eyed me with suspicion, then proceeded to start talking down to her poor Father like a fucking imbecile-no wonder he was so fucking miserable.

    I never even got a thank you from her-which shows how cuntish, some people really are☹️
    Shirt soaked, I trudged back down the road to my mates car.
    He was still laughing about it in the pub, 20 minutes later.
    I could see the funny side and a couple of large single malts revived my spirits 👍

    They do say that “no good deed, go’s unpunished.”

  11. A mans gotta know his limitations,
    Said Harry Callaghan.
    But a lot of wheelchair users want to go up three flights of stairs, go skiing,
    Do things they clearly arent capable of.
    I find them unreasonable.
    Last summer while out there was a ethnic chap splashing around in the reservoir,
    Making a right commotion!!
    “I cant swim!!” He loudly informed me.
    Bragging about it?!!!
    I just ignored him.

    • You forgot the golden rule Mis-always throw him his “wife and kids”, in such scenarios.
      That was on those public information cartoons, when we were kids.

      A bit like giving a re-invigorating cup of tea to our black fellows, after a nasty accident with a piano and some stairs….

    • Climbing Everest comes to mind 😂

      Quite a challenge for someone in a wheelchair, even more so for the team of 12 required to carry it and rider up there.

      I just had breakfast and put the news on, GB have won the first gold medal, OK great. Tom Daley and his side kick in synchronised diving, the BBC show the celebration. Now I am ok with team mates giving each other a hug but these two in budgie smugglers, there was definite tackle to tackle contact going on…. Disgusting!!

      See if you can find the clip Mis, right up your street 😉

    • speaking of Dirty Harry and his wonderful .44 Magnum quote –

      “I know what you’re thinking. ‘Did he fire six shots or only five’?
      Well to tell you the truth I kind of lost track myself in all this excitement.

      But being that this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’
      Well do ya, punk?”

      I wonder what today’s touchy-feely non-micro-aggressive alternative would be?

      “Err, excuse me, sir/madam/them/it. Did you know that the little plastic toy gun I’m tentatively holding, is made in China and squirts the most powerful jet of water in the world? It could quite possibly give you nasty splash in the eye, for which we will duly apologise and carry out a full investigation along with any compensation due.

      But in the interim, would you mind awfully by putting down that AK-47, crossbow, samurai sword and knuckleduster please. Thank you and have a jolly nice day”

  12. The mobility riders, not the poor spastic ones as they have no other option
    No the old cunts who have a face like an arse no matter all the accommodation afforded to them.
    Their sense of I’m first . You couldn’t be nice to most of them as you’ll get fuck all exchanged resulting in a feeling of ,go fuck yourself and I won’t hold the door the next time, I’ll slam the fucking thing

  13. I say bring back the blue plastic resin rocket Invacars. These were easy to park and didn’t take up two spaces at the local supermarket.

    They also were a conspicuous indicator that a spacco was at the handlebars, so best avoided if you were another motorist.

    Apparently they had the crash resistance/safety structure of blue crepe paper and they would burn like a roman candle if a fire broke out in the engine bay.

    • If one comes up on E-bay, snap it up Paul👍
      Free entry into footy matches in the old days, and free parking in town.
      You just need to practice your “best” Joey Deacon voice and Magnus Pike hand “gestures”🤪

  14. In me day as an apprentice cunt in the ’30s the good old Invacar was starting to make an appearance. A trike powered by two push pull handles at the side or two hand peddles at the front. Whole shebang covered by a black rexine leg bag and hood. Visibility of the old cunt WW1 veteran inside practically zero in the wet (and it used to rain a lot in those far off days) not to mention the fog (and we used to get a lot of of ect ect). They would come creeping up practically silently like vampires baby carriages,
    Used to see them regularly on their sides or concertina-ed up after a crash. Must have saved the nation millions in pension and invalidity payments.

  15. I have no problem with wheelchair users. It’s the people in mobility scooters, (some, not all), that get on my nerves. Specifically ones that think they can get away with their bad behaviour.

  16. What boils my urine is when some morbidly obese Jabba the Cunt uses the motorized chairs at store and their flab hangs over the sides leaving no room past or around them. Their “condition” is by choice and the rest of us who have enough self control to not eat 13,000 calories a day have to accommodate their fat fucking ass!
    And they always wear sandals and show the world that they can’t reach their feet to do any nail trimming!
    If a genuinely disabled person needs that chair and a land whale is using it because they have this “condition”, that ain’t right.
    Fucking disgusting worthless skin bag full of shit Cunts!

  17. Most cunts in these spaz chariots are either to fat or to idle to walk. More needs to be done to weed out the lead swinging cunts.

  18. Appropriate story in the Australian section of the Mail Online today regarding an old codger riding his chariot into a G od bothering American street preacher. Can’t decide in this case who is the bigger pain in the butt, the Yank or miserable old Bruce.

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