Politicising Online Dating

Politicisation on the dating scene is a cunt.

I’m a single chap on the dating scene, single mainly because I won’t take any shit from wimminz who are cunts.

I still ( deluded as I am) use online dating sites in the hope of finding wimminz who might, just might be ok.

I joined Tinder a while back, and started the swiping thingy, left for fuck off, and right if she’s got nice tits, and if she visits your profile and swipes right, then you’re matched and can then message each other.

What I’ve noticed is, when reading profiles, how fucking aggressive some wimminz are. One profile in particular caught my attention. “ if you voted leave, support Israel, vote Tory, like Farage, then swipe left. We wouldn’t get on”.

What the fuckety fuck has politics got to do with how well you could potentially get on with someone. Partners in a relationship should challenge each other’s views, with respect, that’s what being in a relationship is all about, so why make meeting someone ( which is difficult enough) by alienating half of your prospective pool of matches.

It seems that wimminz have a propensity to leaning towards the left, why? Fucked if I know.

In the end I had to write on my profile, “ if you want to live in an echo chamber, then you can get yourself fucked off, because I won’t be tolerating any of that crap “.

It certainly makes the case for fucking off to Thailand or Eastern Europe, and finding a missus, which so many Western women find abhorrent. The cunts.

Nominated by: Cuntington Smythe

Private Eye Magazine

Private Eye was once a great magazine, a unique British institution. I used to read it regularly as a student in the late 80’s. I loved the in-jokes about Ugandan discussions, Sir Jammy Fishpate, Captain Bob, Sir Buffon Tufton, Sid and Doris Bonkers of Neasden FC, the Grauniad, Jeffrey Barnard (“Jeff bin in?”), Beardie Branson, the Dirty Digger, Brenda and Phil. I used to love the comic strip which imitated my beloved Commando Comics with Sapper Kinnock battling a Nazi Thatcher and her Waffen DHSS, with Fatty Hefner’s “cruel Cockney humour”. They also did a Dan Dare one with Thatch the Supreme Ruler of the Universe that was just as good. It was anti-establishment and stuck up for the little man. It’s mercilessly exposed corruption.

But something happened. Perhaps that something was Brexit. All of a sudden Private Eye became The Establishment. It’s satire was now directed against Brexit and against the “stupid Little Englanders” that voted for it. It came out as fanatically pro-EU. It became dreary and boring. Cover after cover lampooned Boris Johnson and Brexit. It’s not worth the paper it’s printed on any more.

The problem is likely to be Ian Hislop. He’s a self confessed Remainer and has become part of the Establishment blob that seeks to grind us down at every opportunity. He’s a preachy intolerant bore that likes to remind us how ignorant we are compared to his own enlightened status. The result is that Private Eye has been defanged and is now a boring cunt.

https://unherd.com/2019/07/how-private-eye-lost-its-bite/

Nominated by: Marvellous Mechanical Cunting Machine 

Andrew Marr (10)

Andrew Marr. Leaving, thinking of leaving, threatening to leave the BBC.
Because the BBC is biased. Shock, horror.

As Battery Sergeant Major Shut Up Williams would say Oh dear. How sad. Now fuck off.

Supplementary nomination for the Beeb for employing this tosser in the first place.
Love to see him and Jeremy Clarkson bareknuckled behind the bike sheds. No fisting.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9586053/Andrew-Marr-says-leave-BBC-say-really-thinks-politics.html

Nominated by: Fudman

Furniture Poverty

Furniture poverty, as publicised by the BBC.

The link is a short film about a woman with no furniture. In London, natch.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-57076659

I watched the first bit. If you can be arsed watching note that:

The woman isnt British.
She is a single parent.
She has a very nice flat.
She is entitled and bears no responsibility.

I am assuming she pays for none of this. I may be wong but I doubt it.

So come on, why arent we getting Harrods to furnish it? And it’s good that the BBC highlights our guilt and obligations.

Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Yvette Cooper (6)

A “don’t-you-know-who-I-am?”, back to 1997 mini-cunting please for schoolmarmish, self important Pixie Balls – yes, Yvette “Sugartits” Cooper is back to leap aboard the Blair bandwagon since she saw Rachel Reeves creep back to the front bench last week – aided and abetted by the greasy old queen himself, who lets us know he is still available.

How long before working class heroes Hilary Benn and Mandy join them in the foetid chamber, still reeking from the afterglow of AnalEase;s soiled bloomers?

https://www.express.co.uk/news/politics/1436818/BBC-Andrew-Marr-Labour-Party-news-Yvette-Cooper-Keir-Starmer-latest-covid19-update-vn

Sugartits takes herself FAR too seriously and it should be remembered that, in addition to her part in the expenses scandal, with her husband, she and Hilary did all they could to overturn Brexit. These days though, like Kweer and Anthony, not forgetting Doreen Lawrence (though she is highly forgettable) she has taken up epidemiology. and crystal ball gazing.

Britain needs a strong opposition but Kweer’ s shambling shower isn t it. We don’t need an infant school teacher dreaming of 1997 mithering on, and the re-emergence of these ageing backbench harpies is depressing and disgusting to see.

Of course, the big question for the little lady is – how has Ed Balls managed not to flatten her in bed?

Nominated by: W. C., Boggs