Fruit Flavoured Beer


The backstory is that I bought some booze on a whim. Sounded alright, the blurb on the side made it sound a bit like Corona with lime in it.

A light beer with a slight citrus tang (sorry if I sound like the real ale twat from Viz).

A change is as good as a rest and all that.

The reality is it tastes like Grapefruit with a strange lager/grapefruit after-taste.
Bleurrgh.

Drank one can.
The rest went down the drain.

£6 for the liberty of trying one and pouring the rest away.

If I want a tropical fruit drink, I’ll buy a can of Lilt.

Lesson learned.

Why did this become a thing?
Beer which is bitter to varying degrees, mixed with citrus fruit.

Corona with a slice of lime does work though.

I’ll stick with my favourites in future.

Nominated by: Harold

44 thoughts on “Fruit Flavoured Beer

    • Excellent joke – the Sid one, not Belgium.
      I had some fantastic fruit beers from Sam Smith’s early this year.

      Belgium is now bemoaning the fact that they have majored on potatoes.
      Drop them all (both??) on Africa…

  1. Listen Harold, you lost the Battle of Hastings for a reason. Never trust the Frenchies…..or any fucking foreigner for that matter. Presumably you still have both eyes so no harm done.

  2. These have been around for 30 years that I know of.

    The local speciality beer shop in my home town had Timmermans in all flavours and I can confirm that a nice cold one on a hot day goes down a treat. Just the one mind, otherwise it gets a bit too sweet and sticky.

    The wedge of lime in the top of the Corona bottle is the Mexican way of keeping the flies out of the beer by the way. It isn’t meant to be shoved into the bottle.

  3. All alcohol has side effects.

    The effects of drinking fruity beer are the development of a lisp, the growth of a moustache, a mincing walk and a desire to wear leather trousers with the arse section removed.

    It should only be consumed before a bout of bumming, anal fisting, docking and felching.

    Ideal for all male bukake parties.

  4. They sound like those horrible fruit flavoured teas that some people like to drink. These too are loved by women and girly-boys.

  5. Did your “whim” extend to buying a packet of Mr.Kipling’s French Fancies and half a dozen hamsters?

    • More of a flapjack fan or a custard tart Mr Fiddler.😁
      I have no pets either.

      I’m especially fond of flapjack and a travel mug of coffee when on country walks.😁

      • I shall be keeping a wary eye out for you as I patrol my extensive acreage…the Hounds and I have no desire to witness what goes on between a “fruity” flavour fuelled Rambler and his 12 inch thermos flask…I dread to think just where the “flapjack” enters into this diabolical scenario.

        Good Morning to you,Harold.

        Good Morning All

      • Haha Morning Dick,

        You’re a bit far North for me to set foot anywhere your vast country estate.

  6. Not sure what attracted you to fruity beers Harold, but try the Celeb endorsed ones!
    Rylan has a divine plums flavoured one and that nice Lenny Henry a banana one.
    Maybe the Royal endorsed tangerine beer brewed by Harry Hewitt?
    It comes with a champagne flute to drink it from.
    Sparkle has one too,
    Citrus Clitoris.

  7. It’s all shite mostly. Half a can and you’ve had enough of the sickly shite.

    On a hot day, I like a Thatcher’s Gold. Only one mind, two is a bit too much sweetness. Then, on to my chavvy lagers. Yes, I don’t care if you hate lager and drink ‘Ye old Witches tit’ or whatever.

    Fuck off and good morning.

    Very good morning actually, with the news of the booing of the knee taking bollocks at the cup final (which the beeb may have tried to drown out because I couldn’t hear it).

    Anyway, don’t hijack this excellent nom, I don’t want admin telling you off (even though I just did it because I’m a cunt). Just thought I’d mention why I’m in a better mood than normal today.

    Arse biscuits.

    • Morning Cuntybollocks,
      Im a real ale twat to some extent, but my mate has started drinking lagers instead,
      Veltins pilsner and few other german ones, loves em!
      Bit gassy for me, lager.

      • Same here MNC, lager Is far too gassy.
        What’s the difference between a lager and a clitoris?
        After a couple of seconds a clitoris stops tasting of piss.

  8. A piece of lime or lemon in a gin and tonic is the only acceptable fruit in an alcoholic drink.

    The reason people put lime in that Mexican (or is it Spanish?) Corona is because it’s to take the taste away of their fucking awful lager. That and the gayness are reasons for fruit in booze.

    • I currently live in Mexico and I can confirm that Corona originated here; and they put lime, or lemon in the neck for flavour only.
      The flies wouldn’t drink that shite.

    • The only way to eat tinned grapefruit segments is in a bowl of Cointreau.
      It’s a shame that all those B&Bs we holidayed in in my pre-teens years didn’t have Cointreau…

  9. I’ve noticed how even the craft beer and real ale brewers have started making ‘gose or sours’ more frequently, which are usually fruit flavoured and over carbonated. Tried a couple, but it’s basically alco pop, not beer.

    Not adverse to a bit of flavouring in the strong stouts that a prefer. Often a bit of vanilla or chocolate. But had one the other night that was like drinking a glass of cold strong coffee. Also seem to like chucking coconut in, which tastes like my 10% beer has a Malibu chucked in it.

    But had some good chocolate tasting stouts, in fact one last night. Egg Hunt by Salt brewery, 10%. Highly recommended.

    But fruit beers, nah fuck em, for people who can’t handle a real ale and prefer a fizzy drink.

  10. Beer = hops and Barley fermented. Fuck all else. Fruit beer is for lifters and trannies. People with neither taste nor discernment.
    The fucking Belgians started this shit. The semi French cunts.

  11. Fruit ciders are the the thing nowadays and the mark of a true nancy boy who can’t handle a real drink. Kiwi & Lime anyone?
    Real Cider should be unfiltered, full of bits floating about and the tap should have apple snot hanging from it after pouring.
    Anything flavoured during the fermentation process is worth a go. Anything with flavoured sugar syrup added after is for those who doubt their own sexuality.

  12. Frenchies and hairdressers can stick their silly drinks. Even lager is a bit gay – originally introduced into UK pubs so women had something to drink. Usual shit to attract families to pubs. Cunts expect to be able to change fucking nappies in the bogs! Sunday lunchtimes in most pubs are fucking horrible. Bring back proper boozers for proper geezers. No women, kids or shrieking queen cunts. If I had my way there would be a fucking law against it. Fuck right off, cunts.

  13. The advert is a group of ginger bearded hipster types wearing corduroy flat caps giggling like lassies drinking strawberry flavoured piss from a bottle. Why any fucker would want to drink beer flavoured in any way other than the traditional brew is beyond me. It must be that today’s asexual apology for a man cannot take take the “bitters” from a heavy handled glass, and cannot appreciate the brew of a real drink. I also take great offence to the notion that “cider” is a beer. It most certainly is not ! ( uneducated fekkin arseholes )

  14. Well, I am of course completely shocked by some of the responses.😁

    It was made by the Vocation brewery which is somewhere in Yorkshire.
    Probably brewed by bearded hipsters wearing fedora hats, waistcoats and bow ties.

    It is not exactly clear to me the correlation between what you eat and drink (unless it is another man’s jizz) and “The Gayness” ©️ (D.Fiddler plc.).

    Is it like the signs that you’re turning into a werewolf?

  15. Heard at the “Cromwell’s Arms:

    “Three pints of Stumpies Combine Harvester, a large single malt chaser with mine, two pints of Guinness for his Lordship, a pint of Country Cream Artisan, a triple Baileys for the chap in the corner. Any meat pies, landlord? Yeah-6 pies and a lettuce sandwich for the lad with the bicycle clips.
    Oh yeah, half a lager and lime for young Mr Steptoe! Put an umbrella in it, And ice!”
    (Belated) Good Morning All🤔

    • A free country cream painted gate for our very own MNC when you acquire 10 stamps on the loyalty card. A stamp for each pint purchased.

  16. ‘Real Cider should be unfiltered, full of bits floating about and the tap should have apple snot hanging from it after pouring.’

    And should preferrably be sold ‘farm fresh’ in old pesticide containers (rinsing optional, as some say doing so is detrimental to the overall flavour)

    ‘..Anything with flavoured sugar syrup added after is for those who doubt their own sexuality.’

    And, I used to think they had no right calling it cider, as per what these people think

    https://www.real-cider.co.uk/ciders-not-recognised-as-being-real/

    but looking into it a while back (20+ years ago), when I had access to an old orchard and entertained the idea of setting up small scale production of the death-by-apples that could be made from the produce, you should see the shit you can add and still call it cider

    https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/excise-notice-162-cider-production/excise-notice-162-cider-production#sec-25

    So even when it looks like proper cider, it always pays to check the label first.

    I don’t mind the fact that they do this, there’s a market for the stuff and each to their own, but FFS I’d wish they’d call them something like Cider Drink, that way I could ignore them on the shelves the same way I ignore shit labelled ‘fruit drink’ when looking for fruit juice.

    Fuck me, thinking about this, I’m getting that thirst, and It’s been years now since I’ve had any proper real scrumpy…the stuff you have to cautiously sample by the half pint at first, just in case…time to email around.

  17. I love all beers, especially anything from Belgium. Do love a fruit beer and they make some crackers over there.
    On my last trip to Brugge I found some around 12 & 14% and the great thing with the purity is you never really get a hangover.

  18. Fruit beer?
    Touch that shit and you’ll end up being a campaigner for the Labour party!
    Attacks on great British cuisine and now fruit beer?
    Most disappointing..

  19. It’s the hopps that taste like grapefruit, it’s in loads of lager nowadays, did it have an umbrella sticking out of it…

  20. Go the the Menin Gate, chalk all your forefathers off the wall and get pissed on shitty rose flavoured beer what’s not to like. Apart from it tastes like some women has a yeast infection and had done a period in it at the same time. Yummy, stick it up your arse you brussell sprouts cunts.

    • Ps. Did you know the reason why they stuck lime in the beer? It’s not a western problem unless you leave rotting meat out in the open. Pray to God we have a food standards agency!

      • Oh actually scrap my last statement they love halal. They don’t label it.

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