The Modern ‘Beauty’ Pageant

The modern Beauty contest is a cunt, isn’t it.

Kataluna Enriquez has won the Miss Silver State USA pageant, an event considered a preliminary competition for Miss Nevada. Great, well done. I’m sure we all want to say, “Congratulations, mate” and slap him on the back. That’s right, Kataluna is a biological male.

Enriquez will now move on to the state competition that leads to Miss USA and, eventually, the Miss Universe competition. Willy win that? Only a dick would bet against him, erm her.

Sometimes you have to prick yourself to check you’re not dreaming. This just gets on my wick.

Apparently Enriquez mentioned that at a previous pageant, when event organisers found out he was a transgender, they required him to provide medical documents to prove he was female. What’s the problem? They should have a standard questionnaire:
Were you born a man?
Have you got an X and Y chromosome?
Does your scrotum sometimes itch?

Presumably they couldn’t get a straight answer.

Enriquez also moaned that the organisers also allegedly refused to assign her a roommate. They couldn’t have been thinking straight.

I’ll say one thing, this Enrique’s got balls.

(Link provided by the ironically named Dickie Dribbler – thank you sir! – NA)

Nominated by: Captain Magnanimous

66 thoughts on “The Modern ‘Beauty’ Pageant

  1. As a transgender man/woman 👩 muslim christian who identifies as a teapot 🫖 furry 🧸 I find this nom offensive.

    Fuck off!

    • Cruel as it gets.
      Enrique looks very fuckable ive got to be honest.
      But then little things would give you a hint.
      Stood next to you in the gents,
      Getting the tops off tight jars
      Not scared of spiders
      And once the knickers are off..
      A baby carrot and dumplings.
      Its false advertising, and a insult to God.

      Wouldn’t be gay to just get a tit wank would it?

      • She /It looks a bit, umm, how should I put this… a bit on the plump side to me. I prefer the more boyish figure, me.

      • Surely, by definition, a boyish figure is one had by a boy, and this object qualifies, no matter it’s wearing a bikini.

      • The “more boyish figure” describes a slimmer bird than average, with pert tits (34A/B?), small tight bum and relatively narrower hips than her more generously endowed fat slag sisters might have. Hope that helps.

      • The term “boyish” is plainly correct, RTC, but when/if the boy matures normally, his appearance might transmogrify from that to being “manly”.

        By extension, and mutatis mutandis were the boy to be given depôt injections of stilbœstrol¹ on a suitable régimen, the normal usage for a descriptor of his/her/its physique might thereafter be correctly described as “womanly” (and not “womanish”.)

        As I know you fully concede, RTC, the ‘devil is in the detail’ in these arénas.

        ¹ Diethylstilbestrol – stilbœstrol – was the drug of choice in days of yore; indeed in the 1950s it was used in a perhaps misguided attempt to ‘cure’ homosexuality in men (eg Alan Turing was required to undergo such ‘therapy’). Now-a-days such antiandrogenics as spironolactone are preferred, although stilbœstrol still has a place in treatments for carcinoma of the prostate, inter alia

        Note: Tanz der Lemminge by Amon Düül II is superb. I’ve never heard it before now. Much appreciated

    • Note #2
      The term “mannish” does indeed exist, but in the context of (eg) “mannish water”: a soup or stew and a Jamaican confection involving goat meat, yam, potato, dumplings and vegetables. It is widely considered an aphrodisiac, mainly due to the traditional incorporation of the generative parts of the goat.

      • Womaly not womanish of course Ajax. You’re right to correct him. He’s such a dummy.

      • No, Miles, it’s



        He can be a tad brusque, though, I concede – and oft ill-advisedly too, I aver

      • I purposely chose the word womanish over the word womanly and I stick by it.

        Unlike that ignorant dummy Miles who earlier repeatedly used the word “yolk” instead of “yoke”, thinking “yolk” meant “harness or retraint (sic) not just the yolk of an egg.”

        Doh! 🙄

      • Surely the second sounds more correct RT?

        ‘The object above qualifies as having the more womanish figure’.

        ‘The object above qualifies as having the more womanly figure’.

        You would agree?

      • What’s all thish? Boyish, womanish.

        ‘I prefer the more boyish figure’
        There’s something wrong with that as well.

        @Ajax wouldn’t it be more correct for RT to have said;
        ‘I prefer a boyish figure myself.’
        Not more boyish. Can you help? Just doesn’t sound right.

      • ‘boyish figure’
        ‘womanly figure’
        A womanly figure is an hourglass figure.
        A more hourglass figure I prefer.
        A boyish figure is not like an hourglass figure. It is the opposite of an hourglass, womanly figure.
        ‘I prefer a more boyish figure, me’.
        Got it. I knew there was something wrong. A boyish figure is not a figure. A woman who has a boyish body doesn’t have a figure.
        You can have a boyish haircut. But not a boyish figure.
        Or a girl can have boyish traits.
        But not a boyish body.
        Kate Moss had a boyish figure when she was young.
        Is that OK?
        Help me CS.

      • To say that a female has a boiyish figure is to say that she lacks a figure.
        So to say ‘I prefer a more boyish figure, me’ is like saying ‘I prefer a more lack of figure, me’.

  2. First of all “trans” is bender conversion surgery as opposed to therapy. They have shit smelling holes covered in hair all the way in. Its the grossest thing known to man. Fuck right off woke, with your non cunt, cuntery.

  3. Thought it was considered demeaning by the feminist for the parading around in a two piece costume either at a Miss World or at sporting events, like darts?

    Or does that only apply when the women are young and fit?

    Seems pretty clear to me that only envious ugly old trouts do all the complaining, perhaps trans gender freaks are permitted because straight men won’t derive any titillation or pleasure?

  4. The Woke Alphabet types will inevitably eat themselves with faux outrage/offence!

    Already we’re hearing how gays and lesbians are being marginalised by the trans; and how straight feminists are being pushed into the shadows by trans feminists .. and then there’s the non-binaries, who feel marginalised by everyone, but want the best of all worlds!

    Definitely going to be a “grab the popcorn” moment over the next year or two

  5. I always considered myself astute where gender identification was concerned.
    I think this thing may have fooled me after a pint or eight. The only other time was the film The Crying Game. Bloody good film too.
    That’s beside the point. Women, and to a lesser extend men, should not have their own identities erased for the sake of some mentally ill freak who don’t know what they are.
    Imagine how the genuine girls felt when a bloke was found to be more beautiful.
    That said I’ve never been to Nevada so maybe they are.

  6. What? This is a mincing meat and two veg step too far!
    If this madness continues Sir Fiddler will be self identifying as the Chairman of the British Cycling Association and buying lycra!
    One of my mates went to Spain on a lads do some years ago, “made an arrangement” with a lady of the night, met on the beach to discover this “lady” was indeed a gentleman – Freddie was then observed chasing said beast down the beach to administer a good duffing and take a refund! “Fuckin’ fraud that is” he was heard to shout.
    This was the only time he had dared venture out after buying an enormous firework on the first day there, lighting it whilst pissed on the hotel balcony and watching in horror as this missile skewered off to land in a Guardia Civil compound, explode and and set half the vehicles alight – the cops were in somewhat bad humour and were beating up various felonious locals for a confession 😀

  7. Nevada’s got Las Vegas in it so id expect some fit birds!
    That thing about their fannies stinking of shite is proper disgusting.
    Trannies are just mentalists.
    Martha or Arthur?
    They dont know and act up all hysterical.
    I do know these crackpots have loud voices,
    And people are listening to them.

    • Actually, a few sources online call that film ‘homophobic’ because of Ace Ventura’s reaction to finding out that he’d snogged a tranny.

      Erm…puking in the bog would probably be how any straight bloke would react to be honest.

      And Jim Carey cucked of course, and said he wrote in that response as he wanted it to be the most ridiculously OTT homophobic reaction possible.

      What a load of bollocks.

      Some jokes are ’empathy’ jokes (“yeah, he’s right about that”) which is exactly what that was.

      Your not homophobic too if you find the idea of snogging a tranny disgusting.

      You’re just fucking normal.

    • Loved Ace Ventura!
      The scene from Silence of the Lambs tucking the junk was one I wish I could unsee though.

  8. In all the years I’ve watched the Miss Universe Contest, it’s always been fuckin’ rigged.
    The winner is always from Earth.

  9. It’s an illusion. Plastic tits, waxed jaw, female hormone pills and…well… who knows if the old twig and berries have come off?

    Katalooney is as much a woman as Tom Selleck. Probably had a droopy ‘tache pre-op. The judges are cunts. This is another abject product of the fucking clown world we now find ourselves in.

    Can we see some bird, pumped up muscles, a false tallywacker and a stick on ‘tache entering a contest for Mr Universe.

    What a fucking crock of shite. What would Mary Whitehouse say if she was still alive, for heavens sake?

    And no, MNC, I would even want a titwank from this fucking mutant.

    • Knowing it’s a bloke I wouldn’t either Paul.
      All very strange, used to be able to tell the difference between men an women quite easily,
      Not so nowadays!!

    • Paul: Fatima Whitbread (2 slices), would have won Mr Universe, if she wasn’t so busy chucking spears and scaring me with that arse wiggle😢

  10. Pity we no longer get the Miss World ont telly. Waht a Cuntfest. At least the girlies at least had, well, cunts. As honest as Eurovision, at least we punters had the satisfaction that the winner had worked her way on to the podium via Mafia bedrooms various. Only explanation for some of the mongers that won it.
    Particulary recall the show hosted by the largely dead Bawb Hope when the Monstrous Regiment of Wimmin gatecrashed and stole the old cadaver’s cue cards. Bawb stumbled about with a fixed grin while the show went to black and his travelling team of writers took half an hour to write him some new gags.

  11. He/she was refused a roommate. Too fucking true mate, what did you expect?

    Meanwhile back in Wokedom it has just been announced that to obtain a new genderbender registration it now costs a tenner as opposed to 140 quid. Pressure from LGBT and more needs to be done they say. Makes me so fucking angry.

  12. Oh fuck. That’s all I’ve got. My neighboring State could only throw up a bro for a ho.
    Here’s a tidbit for ya. I’ve known two guys in me lifetime who have ‘accidentally’ fucked a trans.
    Methinks when they discovered the scrote upstairs and the love taties they would have stopped right? No. They kept on going! One was my ex boyfriend when I was 18. I fed him a cat food sandwich for that. Didn’t break up with him though. Not for six months. Real women know how to dish out their revenge and I needed time to plan.

    • Re: Catfood Sarnies.

      A relative of mine was the MD of a large distribution warehouse in the West Midlands, in the 1970’s.
      He employed a large workforce, including many local Indians/Peacefuls. He used to regale us with tales of the Kit-e-cat sandwiches these dirty cunts would produce and eat at lunch 🤮

      Totally true. The filthy fuckers.
      A bit like the Eastern European’s emptying the canals and eating everything they catch.

  13. Aaaaaah-laaayyydeeeeeboyyyyysss! So said Alan Partridge. I wonder if Coogan had a thing for em?

    I read, years ago, an article about the first ever “Miss World” pageant. It was won by a bloke. Mind you, back then the swimwear resembled something worn by Windy Miller. Or the Worzels.

  14. Imagine pulling a beautiful bird like that, take her home and she ends up fucking you up the arse while you bite that headboard and squeal like a bitch.
    Certainly not a story to tell the lads the next day but at least you could have a cock fight with her while having an after-sex shower.

      • I spent a lot of time in SE Asia. Them lady boys are very convincing and though it never happened to me I did hear more than one story where some bloke found a handful of surprises with his latest conquest. The fuckers also have their Adam’s apple removed so identification is even more difficult. I guess it would make a nice change if the other cunt done all the work for once!

  15. I wonder if, after they’ve had the op and the lop, and the growbag snipped off, their driving is affected or whether they always took ten minutes to park?

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