Comic Relief (5)

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Comic Relief (or Red Nose Day) is a massive Cunt.

The 5 people in this picture are cunts. I bet they have been badly affected by the COVID outbreak…..not. Yet these cunts still demand money from the public. Lenny Henry is a huge cunt. Alesha Dixon is a ginormous cunt. Davina McCall is the queen of cunts. Why do these delusional morons think that people want to watch them?

This type of shite is just another reason to cancel your TV License

https://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/2021/mediapacks/comic-relief-2021-night-of-tv

Nominated by: AsItIs

(No doubt Henry will be begging for racist white man’s money to be distributed to oppressed BAMEs from around the world – DA)

…and this from Field Marshal Cuntgomery

I know it’s an easy target, but it has avoided a cunting for a couple of years.
Ladies and gentlemen. Comic relief is a cunt. It’s always shite, but this years offering defies belief. In fact I’d say it should fall under the auspices of the trades description act.
This years line up included those internationally acclaimed comics David Tennant, Davina McCall, Paddy McGuinness, some half chat tart from Britain’s got the X factor on ice and some dark key knight of the realm who used to do Trevor Macdonald impersonations. All interspersed at agonisingly frequent intervals with tales of woe from the usual suspects.
No virtue signalling from some fly blown African cess pits this year, but it’s still a mawkish pile of shit and the incessant Covid references made it shitier still.
They still raised over £45 million (allegedly) which proves this country is full of stupid cunts of the highest order.
It’s a good job the above mentioned comic geniuses gave their time for free.
Oh wait…..

80 thoughts on “Comic Relief (5)”

  1. The least funny thing on television…. EVER!

    Even Lady Creampuff won’t go near it.

  2. Total cunt fest so glad I don’t watch tv. I didn’t even need to turn it over.

  3. 63k a year for diversion and inclusion manager whatever the fuck that is. 5 members of staff >100,000 and CEO > 200,000.
    Nice work if you can get it. Never watched it and usually clean the budgies out when it’s on. Much more enjoyable.

  4. This fucking thing seems to be on every week these days..is it really only once a year?

    Please give generously so Nwambi can have those new Nike trainers and a fucking Apple cunt phone.

  6. The only funny part is watching mtembe carry that jug of water.
    Maybe do a ‘youve been framed’ type scenario to raise cash!
    Small hole in mtembes jug so he leaves a trail of water to find 5miles down the road his jugs empty?
    Another thing with these africunts is theyre slaves to fashion,
    All catwalk skinny.
    Maybe Lenny can cheer them up with his hilarious act?

    • MNC That’s a minor masterpiece right there. You see things clearly through a different lens

  7. I am torn between which is the biggest Cuntfest, Red Nose Day or Children In Need.
    Both are piles of self indulgent wank.
    Why don’t these “Celebs” just donate privately from their huge fortunes.

  8. A portion (I admit very, very small) of the tax I pay goes to the Overseas Aid budget, I have no choice because it doesn’t matter which bunch of cunts run the country it will continue so there is no chance I am going to contribute to any shit like Comic Wank.
    I have never watched it and never will, complete bollocks!

  10. The thing is…… it just isn’t funny anyway! Seldom was and even then you’d have to sit through hours of complete shite to find it plus Mtembe every few minutes.
    Haven’t watched it since 1853.

    However. I will admit that Alesha Dixon would certainly be welcome to climb into my bed!!

    Latest completely unshocking news from LBGTQ Central aka the BBC : “Clive Mhyrie to replace John Humphries on Mastermind”.

    British, White, males, over 50 : they’re all fucked.

    • Hello Isaac,

      Anyone is better than that decrepit old cunt Humphries. I hope I am retired before I have to wear Tena pants. I swear he re-writes the questions so they are so long winded the contestants must lose the will to live. I am pretty sure the number of contestants has been cut from 5 to 4 to accommodate this buffoonery which is done so that the show becomes all about Humphries. I am fairly certain that Clive Myrie will be an improvement.

  11. Well past it’s sell by date along with “The Apprentice”, “Dragon’s Den” , “Mongs Dancing” and plenty of other tired old BBC trash I can’t be arsed to think about. Fantastic breaking news though!……BBC have signed a deal to show 18 live games from the Wimminz Premier League next season aswell as live Wimminz Champions League games and the much anticipated Wimminz Euros in 2022. Whoopee! Can’t fucking wait.

    • Yep saw that. Wimminz footie, another oxymoron.
      Beach volleyball, now there’s a sport. I’d watch that.
      A lot.

  12. Never watched and LH is a nuclear powered cunt. Hate the fucker with a passion. The country us bankrupt, thousands without jobs but these parasites want to leech off us. Flush you cunts flush

  13. Never watched it, never will watch it (stopped paying BBC tax for other reasons but this is yet another one to add to the list), and strongly suspect these cunts get paid for appearing in what is probably one of the few gigs they can still get.

    Z list celebrities getting paid to appear – how is that “charity” exactly? Same principle as “charity Xmas cards” probably. £5 a box and 2 pence to charity (less “admin’ fees” obviously).

    A most worthy nomination👍

  14. Why should they pay for their own Adrenochrome when we can fund it for them?

    LH can go outside BBC HQ and sit and spin atop their pedo statue.

  15. An excuse for a fecking load of sub-celebrity show-offs to pretend they are caring and have talent.

    Every year it raises less money as even the easily-fooled GBP see through the facade.

    The Beeb cling on to archaic “events” like this in a desperate attempt to justify their public broadcasting remit.

    Cynical PR job by all involved and about as entertaining as a bucket of horse dung.

  16. I used to enjoy going up to a pompous retired Major who drank in my local… I’d jab at his swollen,bright red whiskey-drinker’s nose and offer him a Pound coin for Red Nose Day. He never saw the funny side..but I did. He got quite shirty after I continued replaying my hilarious joke whenever I had a fresh audience.

    Fuck the starving hordes…I’ve got a freezer full of meat so why should I give a shit ?

    • …and a vast cupboard stuffed full of Fray Bentos tinned steak pies….Fine Dining indeed.

      • Back in the ’70s the family had a leather tannery in Tottenham and one of our lads left because he couldn’t stand the smell. He was back a week later asking for his old job back. He had gone to work at the local Fray Bentos factory, stirring the stew. It was done in the open air because of the smell and the sparrows use to fly by, have a quick peck in the meat and then leave their calling card. I haven’t eaten Fray Bentos since.

  17. People in this country a masochist retards.They get told they are all racists and white saviours and the twats still give 52 million quid. The only good news they were down 11 million on last year so the penny might be dropping.

  18. Back in the 80’s my colleagues and I thought of a super wheeze. We asked all the wearers of the red plastic nose to donate them to the logistics department after the great day. Many did, we had enough for the frontline stores staff me included. We painted them with a shitty brown paint. Three days later we had “brown nose day” in honour of the only way to get promoted in those far off days and to show our appreciation of our management team. You can imagine the following enquiry lead by none other than a level 2. Bad form, wrong attitude, negative publicity blah blah shock horror outrage waffle meetings bollocks. The instigator was never positively identified. Not long after this incident the “Bullshit” stamp made it’s appearance on various important documents and management directives but that’s another story for another time.

  19. True comedy is gone. The funniest shit is now off limits like jokes that are insulting to a particular ethnic group for example. The woke yunguns have no sense of humor so no real comedy can flourish. In the 90s Chris Rock would say, “I LOVE black people but boy do I HATE nigghiz!”
    Try that nowadays!

    • That’s it. They’re not relaxed enough to have a laugh. That famous Chris Rock monologue was brilliant.

    • Hah yes the old bullshit stamp, I had some made up in honour of a grumpy old Zimbabwean forester. He stood up at a conference and announced that the present speaker was spouting utter bullshit, which was true and badly needed calling out. Cue the outrage and subsequent cancelling, but so much fun. And also funny to have a red stamp that says “This Is BULLSHIT”, one bang and the offending document is correctly labeled thus forever. And if Tony Sheldon is still alive, mate you are a fucking legend!

  20. Down from £63.5 million in 2019. Nice to see that David Lammy’s advice is being taken and whites are avoiding this shite.

    • I did wonder if it was down on last time. Just couldn’t be bothered to look.
      Funnily enough, auntie beeb didn’t mention that.

  21. I don’t understand how these superior beings find time to beg for our money.

    After all,don’t they spend all year in Zimbabwe digging wells for blek idiots?
    Don’t tell me they just indulge in a shameless luvvie fest to make themselves feel better about their obscene lifestyles?
    The horror of it.

    Overall I’d much prefer to sponsor mass ovening of these BBCistan cunts and mustard gassing the savages in their filthy hovels.
    Fuck Off.

  25. The missus started to watch this shite last week and becuase I got my own way the previous evening (TV not anyhing more interested) I agreed.

    The only mistake I made was the 6 cans of beers wasn’t enough to dull the pain of watching absolute drivel – like a cheap variety performance show.

    Looking at the Red Nose day website you would easily be forgiven for thinking BAME took this event over.

    I bet fuck all minorities actually contributed any cash. Instead of selling diamonds and oil and buying weapons to keep the populations of these countries under rule why not invest in your people.

    That said they did focus a bit on UK schools this time round, but as me pops used to say ‘Charity begins at home son’. Not a bunch of BAME cunts prancing round telling us to give more – hello – fucking COVID, lockdown, people losing jobs, worried about their jobs – worried about life…

    Last thing people are thinking about is giving money to charity to help ‘Desmond’ get some clean water.

    Cunts all of them.

    • I should have known that public school twat Jack Whitehall would be in there somewhere, about as welcome as a turd in a swimming pool.

    • It’s your fault. The reason it’s called Red Nose Day is that’s the colour it needs to be from alcohol before you even think of watching it. I tried watching it one year, must be 30 years or more ago, and am proud to report that next day not only did I remember nothing from watching it the night before, I had even forgotten it was on. I also gave them fuck all.

    • I’d say any producer of cheap variety shows would have a right to be offended by being compared to Fridays shitfest.

  27. Used to watch it religiously. Now no chance, saw 2 minutes of it with A hoarse David Tennant shouting bollocks. Like everything else it is outdated and spends £13.7million on wages. All a load of cunts, only give money to local charities and the air ambulance.

  28. Lenny Henry deserves an award for consistency. I remember him from the 70s. Tried to be a main stream comic except he’s not funny. Then in the 80s he became alternative, did David Bellamy and shouted Katanga for some reason. Comedy evaded him. Now, all these years later he blends in with modern comics who are entirely humour free. All this and Red Nosed Children indeed.
    Surely a lifetime achievement award is coming his way?

  29. Sorry but I can’t see any Comics in that line up of cunts.
    I would find the act of sticking a corkscrew down my urethra far funnier than any of those unfunny woke wankers.

  30. Comic Relief is just another reason to switch of the tv. Every year we we are told we have to watch a bunch of lefty woke shit stains lecture us on how morally superior they are compared to everyone else. They can take their red noses and shove them where the sun doesn’t shine. Cunts.

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