Is anyone going to tell me that 2021 will be in any small detail any better than the cunt year which has just thankfully expired?
Thought not. Pre-emptive cunting then, and appreciate me for my predictive powers.
Mystic Komodo.

Nominated by: Komodo

40 thoughts on “2021

  1. I suspect that things will stay much as they are now until at least the autumn (Dame Keir will be arguing the kids shouldn’t go back to school in September), Dame Cressida Dick will be making “her” forces punishments more strict (Covid rule breakers will be forced to sniff her soiled jockstraps).

    As for the daft “Jab & go” holiday adverts – by this time next year daft punters who believed it will still b trying to get their refunds out of RyanAir

    • You mean the hordes of fighting age four-star hotel dossing males will be trying to claim it back with their miraculously newfound UK ‘identities’.

  2. Well, there’s a possibility that Hamilcunt might have a nasty accident and burn to death in his Kraut car but, other than that…..no fucking chance!

  3. It appears it shall be a shittier mess than the last.
    Thank you Gypsy fortune teller Komodo.
    The pubs being shut is a right cunt.
    Never mind all the legions of Karens.

  4. 2021 will be much better. The great lie will be exposed, the people will rise and the reset will be by us and not the dictators.
    These bastards need crucifying for what they have done to us, and the snowflakes and sheeple need horsewhipping for meekly going along with it.
    Time for a bike ride.

    • Sadly, I suspect we won’t be quite so optimistic when we get our new Council Tax bills in April.

      • Until the rules are changed (and which they probably will be – there’ll be “Covid debt” & “climate change” to pay for) the maximum will be 5%. Give it a a couple of years and BLiar’s modest tripling of council tax will become a fond memory!

  5. They spent 2020 trying to divide and rule.
    They probably could not believe how easily they could subjugate a large percentage of the population.
    They will spend 2021 trying to capitalise on that subjugation.
    See my predictions in the thread “New Years Day”.
    I hate to say I told you so…..

  6. You may as well top yourself now and save yourself the pain and bullshit that will be 2021:-

    Massive and incredibly deep double-dip recession
    Inflation, negative interest rates, and unemployment galore
    Britain will be post-Brexit Billy No Mates, as it flounders between a divorced EU and a “fuck you, Limies” North America
    Politicians will continue with this Covid-19 bullshit, especially the need to learn lessons, keep restrictions and introduce vaccine passports for everyone just to keep tabs on you.
    Everything will have gone woke;
    identity politics will be so fragmented that everyone will cancel each other
    Social Media will become Big Brother
    Thousands upon thousands of dinghies will appear on our shores
    This year’s census will ask more personal questions about your politics; and if you don’t comply you’ll be fined
    Fuckwit celebs will be the new influencers in politics – Katie Price will become an MP!
    Linekunt might just end up in hospital suffering from a serious build-up of shit and flatulence, that should he kick the bucket will suggest he died of Covid
    Jess Phillips marries Cressida Dick, and share unwashed jockstraps and anal plugs.
    Windows 10 will still be a load of fucking shit!

    Happy New Year, Cunts!

  7. You bunch of pessimists.

    Luckily I’ve found a little known Nostradamus quatrain that cheers me up no end…

    “From across the sea FatCunt will return to his sty
    Corden the Pig homeward-bound….much wailing and gnashing of teeth in The Sceptered Isle
    Flaming arrow shoots out at flying-jumbo as flying -pig crosses rural Northumberland airspace
    Much cheering,much cheering….FatCunt fries in his own lard.

    Bit open to interpretation but I like to put a positive spin on things

  8. No change.Same old shite.Brown rats continuing streaming in and the SAGE party spread their lies

  9. January 2021 is a mega cunt fucking freezing, covid-19, Boris’s bubbles tiers layers etc and for the first time in six years I’m not in the Canaries or Cyprus. It’s an absolute cunt of a month.

  10. I predict the rise of Super Gran based on the mutational properties of the “vaccine”

    Boris will implode into a pile of dig shit.

    Hancock will tear of his mask and reveal himself to be Hancock and still a total Nazi cunt and the egghead who looks like a turtle will go back and be told off by Master Splinter for spreading lies and tomfoolery.

    Fuck you all, amen.

  11. Komodo, that’s not a very cheerful prospectus, but I still can’t tell if you’re a glass-half-full or glass-half-empty kinda monitor lizard

  12. Thanks to Boris Johnson and Brexit, THIS COUNTRY WILL RISE LIKE A PHOENIX FROM THE ASHES!

    • Have you been using Bailey’s instead of milk on your cornflakes this morning?..drunkard.


      • Morning Dick. Porridge actually.

        As for the prediction, Jesus told it to me in a dream I had last night. For some strange reason his armpit hair had been pixilated…

      • So…your dream is obviously the deserved result of you watching too much Japanese porn,your failure to embrace Our Lord Jebus and chronic alcoholism.

        2021 really doesn’t look good for you.

        Repent afore ye feel Lucifer’s lash across your back.

  13. Death will come to many in 2021

    Hopefully a few I’ve nominated in the deadpool, but I feel it will probably be mainly less deserving souls.

    I have nothing more to say, dog bless and fucking good day to you.

    • Here’s to hoping some big name politicians and assorted scum end up having their heads disconnected.

      I want to see it turned into a gameshow narrated by Craig Charles. Like Takeshis Castle, except all the obstacles inflict serious or fatal injury – stepping stones could use boiling car battery acid instead of water.

  14. Plugged 2021 into google and got this-

    Significance & Meaning Of Angel Number 2021
    Angel Number 2021 explains that you have the power to stay calm amongst it all by calling on those loving angels of yours and giving them your worries and doubts so you can be centered properly.

  15. They way I see 2021 unfolding will be Joe Biden removed as president under the 25th amendment and Kamala ‘flat back’ Harris takes over in March… As planned back in 2020.

    Harris immediately kicks of a foreign war to boost the coffers of the arms manufacturers who own her, while simultaneously trying to disarm the public. Who hate her.

    Lockdown No. 4 arrives in the UK in March and features martial law, kerfews and £1000 fines for anyone not wearing a mask in their own home. The police will randomly kick your front door in to check compliance.

    April brings Rishi Sunak’s new covid busting budget. Anyone who has received state handouts for sitting on their arse the past year is required to sign over the home to HMRC.

    In July, the EU will finally admit that being a communist superstate was always a shit idea and come begging, cap in hand to join the UK.

    The fine weather in August sees so many dinghys in the channel that it is now possible to walk from France to England without getting wet feet.
    Priti Patel says that lessons will be learned, or some such shit and does nothing.

    October sees lockdown No. 5, which makes it illegal to look out of the window, assuming you aren’t living in a cardboard box by this point after Rishi Sunak has stolen your house back in April.

    November brings with it hope of a normal Christmas with family and friends.

    December sees Boris cancel Christmas at the last minute and bring in tier 7, which means you must remain handcuffed to a radiator in your own home at all times.

    Failure to comply will result in HMRC claiming all of your property. Even the Rolex you have hidden in your rectal cavity that you were planning to sell to feed the kids one last time before selling them for medical experiments.

    These predictions are brought to you by the genitalia of an omniscient Nordic god.

  16. This entire decade is shaping up to be as appetizing as Abbotts unwashed and parched gash after a 6 week safari with no shower.

    Fuck right off already and beam me up.

  17. I see it now – “Hail President Fox”! They will shout as I ride down Downing Street on the BMX. My (many!) Enemies will be crushed, Sir Robin Bastard will be my head of international diplomatic relations and IaC members will form the new Government!
    I can see it now – a dishevelled and bruised Laura Kuntberg will be taken from her windowless cell for the weekly press briefing “thanks again for exposing that remainer rebellion Mr President – it was lucky Lord Terry of AGA quashed the dissenters humanely” before being dragged back to her cell, her shoeless feet bleeding on the mountain of bones under the big sign saying “now that’s how you defund the fucking BBC”! Order will be restored I say, and I will win the usual 106% of the vote at every free and fair election!
    Works for me! 😀👍 – but then I am a deranged megalomaniac!

  18. Holy titty macaroni dudes, I just had a 7 min scrap down a back alley with a mate who wouldn’t put on the black sunglasses. You’ll never guess what happened…he kicked the living shit out of me.

  19. 2021 will be the year of “couldn’t be arsed.”
    Couldn’t be arsed to have the vaccine, couldn’t be arsed to have a wank, couldn’t be arsed to get off my knee, couldn’t be arsed to give the kids their tea and above all couldn’t be arsed to write a full nomination.

    • If that’s aimed at me, I thought a prolix nom would only make the situation worse. I left out the solar flare and the asteroid impact to spare cunters’ feelings. You should be grateful.

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