Portrait Artist of the Year

Never ever thought I’d cunt this because I love art and virtually any program about art. But I’d like you to consider a DaVici sized cunting for this seasons “Portrait Artist of the Year”.

The reasons are many fold but on tvOS particular occasion the cunting is specifically for the choice of artists and subjects.

Today we have a range of races and ages all painting three different people. But one in particular boils my piss.

Ladies and gentlemen (and any other LGBTQRSTU’s) I give you today’s model. Known as “The Vivienne”. This beast is described as “winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race” (surely worth a cunting in itself) and is a bloke dressed up as a woman. Essentially a drag queen.

If I ever entered this program the last thing I’d want to paint is an oversized drag queen in full garb.

Ffs it’s woke gone mad.

Nominated by: Middle England

21 thoughts on “Portrait Artist of the Year

  1. Most artists are sexual reprobates anyhow…I’m just surprised that they didn’t spend their painting time trying to mount the tranny.

      • Is that the cunt who raped his dog and kids? Much admired at the BBC I hear.
        Talking of which, just watched Mastermind which had a bloke in a dress and another fellow who was obviously on the spectrum. The general knowledge questions were either ridiculously easy, or maybe my iq has suddenly increased? Until the autistic chap’s turn that is, he got loads of tricky ones. The tranny still didn’t win.

  2. Oh no!! A mate of mine – Cultured Cunt – recommended this show to me and I watched it for the first time only last week now SkyArts is on Freesat. It was particularly enjoyable for being a welcome exhibition of ‘celebrity’-free amateur talent made even better by that gobby (but stunning) spunk receptacle Melanie Sykes* being one of the models. (I waited in vain for her to shed her knickers but she didn’t even give us a glimpse of her tits).

    I truly admire these ordinary people who can produce such stunning work in just a few hours. It really isn’t necessary to shoehorn yet more political correctness down our throats.
    Even that occasional prick Steven Mangham kept the “And The Winner Is” obligatory pause to the bare minimum.

    * I’d love a go at painting Mel’s face…..

      • Tainted is right, Baron. Sykes is a megaslag and her rep in Mcr is legendary. The tale about the free for all with Sunderland footballers in the 90s sticks in the mind (all over the tabs, it was. Phil Gray was but one of them). And that libfuck cokebag Coogan has also had a go, as you say. I also think Liam Gallagher might have tubbed her and all. A monumental slapper, without a doubt.

      • Yuk indeed!
        The bitch’s STD clinic case notes must be so heavy that the nurse has to push them around in a wheelbarrow.

  3. I feel a bit artistic today – I can’t make up my mind whether I feel Picasso’s blue period about me, or being the start of a jolly week, Reubens. I think the latter. I have a fancy of painting Emily Thornberry in the nude. But I’ll have to keep my socks on for somewhere to put the brushes.

    I am certainly not painting Eddie Izzard.

  4. They always seem to pick the crapiest most inept painting and hate anyone who has formal training in say Florence.
    That half Chinky is a prize cunt too!

  5. An early morning, fuck the alarm clock it’s way too early and my cornflakes aren’t crunchy enough cunting for Kate Garroway.
    The horse faced harridan has shut her hubby away in hospital as he’s got the Kung Flu v.19.
    Not content with whining on and leaving it be, she’s back on the devils lantern this a.m. crying on again.
    Ffs this isn’t a live version of one of those wimminz mags.
    Yes he in hospy and may well be ill but fuck off and look.after him and leave me to knock one out over Suzanne Needy Reidy.

  6. Just looked at ‘The Vivienne’ and it does a passable Bet Lynch from Corrie. I don’t know who should be more offended.

    • Don’t pity her, she gets it every which way. And by all accounts it’s ‘loose’.

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