Bishop of Paisley

An emergency cunting (and not a Wise man in sight) for this Jock prat, who follows so many others in making an arse of himself to rush into the BBC ocean of Covid-fuckery.

Thinking back to the First World War and the Xmas Day football match where our lads and the Hunn joined together in a truce, this daft looking old cunt wants the same thing in 2020:

Don’t worry, he doesn’t want to see Frau Adolf Merkel in her micro-shorts dribbling, the old idiot wants a “truce” with the virus.

Does he really think that a virus can discriminate to that level? did he just want to see his name in print, or did he overdo it on the communion wine today?

What a wanker!

Nominated by: w

51 thoughts on “Bishop of Paisley

    • Just great another god bothering child molester with an opinion thats all we need .well its the overall consensus the virus isnt interested in fuck all!god especially can do fuck all about it .

  1. He’s making a living out of believing a load of bollocks, so this gem isn’t that far down the line.

      • Il bet hes a right cunt whens he s been on the wine !much like an anecdotal jesus i remember by a fave comedian.
        Ive been doing miracles all morning im fucking knackered!

  2. I obviously had one to many in my local yesterday because when I got back home I thought it would be a good idea to fix a dart board to the ceiling, spent the rest of the evening throwing up….

  3. From his Twitter account….
    Bishop John
    Prayer changes everything!
    If you would like the diocesan community to pray for your intentions, please send them to us and we will ensure that you are included in our daily prayers.

    Wonder what the Bishop and his flock’ll make of my “intentions” regarding Gemma Arterton?…Should be an interesting prayer,that one.

    Daft Cunt.

    • I wonder then, Dickie…

      Will my prayer for Paul Pogba to be jettisoned into space, never to be seen, again work?

      Also, my prayer to have Christina Hendricks’ tits in my face every night. I am hopeful about that one…

      • I think it was Crouch on MOTD who said that Man U. seem to buy midfielders (Van de Beek) without really having a plan on how to get the best out of them.

        Still better than Newcastle who spent 40 million on Joelinton… the only Brazilian in the world who can’t play football apparently,

      • Match Of The Day, Saturday AND Sunday had two white pundits!! BLM will be protesting and Goat-Jugs Linekar will be taking to social media to apologise.

      • Afternoon DCI.

        I watched MOTD the other night…players like Kane seemed to fall down easier than the women players that I watched a bit of earlier in the day.
        Blatant cheating.

      • Afternoon, Dick. ‘Simulation’, they call it. Fucking Cheating Cunts is more appropriate. Surprised, if not preturbed at you watching wimmins football! I trust it was for the tits and arses and not the quality of the game? Get the bloody rugby season started again.

      • The women’s game reminds me of the football that the village team used to play…good laugh and canny crack-on in the Pub after.

        France look to be building a hell of an international rugby team…the Six Nations’ll be an interesting proposition next year.

      • As I have French ancestory, I can go between the English and French😁 Leg still giving you jip?

      • Leg is slowly getting better, DCI…I’ve found that if I bend down and touch my toes the pain immediately stops.

      • Good news, just be careful where you do that! Be good to see your GP for investigation, ?sciatica.

      • DCI that is Certainly worth remarking upon. I just hope neither were wimminz, for the sake of your blood pressure

      • Thankfully, no, Three Strokes. If that were the case, I’d be popping Bisoprolol like Smarties.

      • Well, Alex Ferguson signed two Brazilians. Anderson and Kleberson. Both were useless fucking cunts. One was a fat useless cunt, while the other was a skinny useless cunt.

      • Ferguson was asked by a Brazilian woman, to autograph her shaved fanny. He said, “I’m not signing any more bald Brazilian cunts.”

      • Can he take Saint Marcus of Rashford with him. When he’s done with his loaves and fishes.

    • Just let him know that your thoughts towards the dazzling Ms Arterton are thoroughly pure Mr F. We can all bear witness that you’re the perfect gentleman in that regard, regardless of any assertions to the contrary by female domestics at your estate.

      • Quite right,Mr.Knee… I am a “perfect gentleman” although I must say that the “in that regard” qualification was rather hurtful.

      • Dearest Dick, didn’t you propose some sort of Gemma Arteton device similar to that Peloton thing? I think it involved ejecting something over her face. Or am I confusing you with someone else?

      • It does sound like something I’d suggest..if I were a Cad rather than a Gentleman….more likely to have been Mr.Knee or someone of that ilk.

        Afternoon, Lord C.

      • Mr W Stroker and now me would suggest lubing up those jubblies and using them as a launch pad for said deposit

    • Should have asked mr fiddler if he could have a word with god and fuck this goverment off /oh and while were at it about 80’million biden supporters to tell him from me the CUNT

  4. A ‘truce’ with something that isn’t human and can’t speak?
    Call the cunts in the white coats. What a fucking dribbling certifiable loony cunt trumpet.

  5. Esteemed Cunters,

    I urge you all to write a brief email to your local MP (a cunt, probably) today, to remind them that if they vote through the lockdown measures on Wednesday they will be held to account at the ballot box.. or worse potentially if this all goes pear shaped, which it will, and subsequently the public go beserk.

    This situation has all now become very real and dangerous to us all. Thank you.

  6. What’s a truce with the virus got to do with the price of fish? There’s no fucking way I won’t be getting my presents this year.

    • Afternoon Ruff one. Are you content with my usual present to you of a jar of Seville marmalade this year? Have you had your flu jab yet. It won’t be long before it’s offered to the youngsters for the first time (over 50’s)

      • Afternoon Bertie.

        Am I content? You better believe it! Assuming it’s the usual Frank Cooper’s Fine Cut Oxford Marmalade, that is…

        Yes, I had my flu jab about a month ago. Next thing I knew I’d been abducted by Bill Gates in Elon Musk’s spaceship!

        I won’t go into detail as to what subsequently occurred (see Vaccine Wars nom) suffice to say my botty has never been shinier since he spilled that Brasso on it and wiped it clean.

        Lady Creampuff (age 52) had a flu jab for the first time this year. She got it free by scamming the government, pretending she was the main carer for her appalling mother. 😃

        Hope you are now fully recovered from your recent illness.

      • 😀 I suspect it was LL who spilt the Brasso and this led to his dismissal. I dare say help’ll be covering for your Willie again this Christmas as he seems to do a lot of ‘relief’ butlering.
        I’m feeling much better thank you and pleased her ladyship has had her jab. Is she getting out any more?

  7. This the Bishop who, at his last mass said : “Eat bread, it is my flesh. Drink wine, it is my blood….”
    But when he said “Try the Mayonnaise…” everyone got up and left.
    Aww! I really miss Dave Allen.

    • Door open/safety belt/petrol petrol petrol !
      Is ed in?yeh he waa fucking original dave allen /always a glass of scotch and a smoke on the go^the way he told em

  8. Given that so many days have been wasted in failing to adapt to the pattern of infection already, I’d tend to agree with him that one more wouldn’t make much difference. Given that 700 cunts had an unmasked rave in Bristol over the weekend. Given that moving university students around the country at the beginning of term probably boosted the R rate by 100%…given…oh, fuck this. Poor cunt’s just expressing his frustration like everyone else. Give him a break. And I don’t doubt his coreligionists are doing just as much as any other group in society to alleviate the effects of the virus.

    Cue Miles…

    • The Bishop of Paisley Psh!
      The Reverend Ian is who we need at a time like this-,NO SUTTENDER!!
      A good Protestant attitude we need. Not some simpering Catholic ‘truce:’ with it.

      • And now a word from our sponsor, Almighty God:

        The virus that you choked on
        The cancer that you got

        All things bright and beautiful etc…

  9. At least while he’s spouting bollocks he isn’t fucking children, but he should stick to what he knows best, shopping for silly hats.

  10. What’s this fucking clot papping on about? We should avoid each other for weeks or months so that we don’t catch covid-19, but all get together on christmas day as though the virus doesn’t exist? I’ve never heard anything as daft in my life.
    I’ve always thought religious people can’t be very intelligent but this idiot wins the prize. Maybe he thinks if we pray first we’ll become immune.

  11. Well, he may have a point. After all, if the Covid is intelligent enough to target BAME’s instead of us whitey’s (Doreen Lawrence report and others), then just maybe a word with the whiskered ancient up in Heaven, could work. I’m not holding my breath though!

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