Mardy Daughters

If you haven´t got one, don´t read on. What happened to the little bundle of fun who once asked me, “Daddy. Are you really the strongest man in the world?” When I modestly assented with a nod, she then made my day by asking, “Can I feel your muscles?” I then flexed my mighty arms, warning her to be careful so she did not get her tiny fingers crushed by the sheer strength of my biceps. Another time on a train, she wrapped her arms around my neck and declared to all the other passengers, “This is MY daddy”.

Those were the highlights of my life and things have gone readily downhill since then. Nowadays, when I visit her, she pushes me out of the way, says I am too feeble to carry my own suitcase and hefts it onto her shoulder like a brickie. She accuses me of dithering if I spend a nanosecond wondering if we go left or right in the street or if I don´t instantly recognize the name of some celeb I´ve never heard of or know how to use the latest app.

My brother has a son and seems to have a different relationship with him. They barely speak but seem to be on the same wavelength. Have I missed out on something here?

Nominated by: Mr Polly 

40 thoughts on “Mardy Daughters

  1. I don’t want a daughter…I want three sons to carry on my incredible gene’s.
    Surely there is too much emotional stress involved with a daughter, and when they get to 20 they turn up with some wrong un cunt to add to your stress and worry.

    • Now you know how your girlfriend’s parents felt. 😂

      ‘Daddy. Is it normal for a man to shove his tongue up a girl’ s arsehole?’

      • 😂😂😂. My charm, intelligence and style impressed them so much they told her ‘let him have what he wants, he wouldn’t do it if he didn’t love you’.
        Seriously though I have always impressed the potential in law’s…one family friend of one ex said they wanted me to marry the girl.
        Most people know when they have hit the jackpot and in my case most women are extremely grateful to be my girlfriend.

    • Having a daughter would be God’s revenge on you! Heiress to the B&WC millions, she’d be the target of every lounge-lizard in London.

  2. when my son was little and into his teens we had a great relationship. taking the piss out of Up hill gardeners. Dar Keys , Lezzers Peacefuls etc.
    THEN…. He married this Megan Markle double . Now if i make a joke about any of the above especially immigrants he lashes out at me , saying your an ignorant Nazi amongst other things
    What did this bitch do to him ????

    • So you have dark key on the family as well FF? So many cunters on here are part dark key or married to one.
      I’m beginning to feel like I am the majority on here.

      • Got me thinking, we should have an is a cunt ethnicity survey.
        I bet most ‘English’ cunters aren’t genuinely fully English.
        I bet I am more English than some of you white cunts.
        Get aaaht my country. 😂

      • The numbers have just been swollen B&W.
        My little B@W grandson Joshua was born the other day.
        I’m sure he’ll follow in your footsteps with his hold over women! We are slowly building a black and white army to hit back at the BAMES on the part of all oppressed whities everywhere.

      • Congratulations Bertie.
        Us black and whites are the future and if most are like me and love this country the future is ok.
        Have you got him the Liverpool kit yet?😁

      • Congratulations Bertie!👍
        Hope little Joshua gets his grandads Brains and wit but his grandmothers looks!😀😀👍

  3. As your daughter grows up out of the stroppy stage, she will go back to loving her Dad and will look after you in the twilight years. Making sure you’re eating right and looking after yourself etc.

    Contrast that with my 15 year old son of viking blood.

    He is eagerly waiting for me to kark it so that he will be able to buy a fast car and have the new playstation with all the games.

    Kids eh!?

  4. Its sad isnt it?
    I have both, son and daughter.
    Loved it when they were little tots, seeing their faces light up Christmas
    Morning, taking them zoos and days out.
    Miss it.
    Now theyre in their 20s and have liberal ideas and think im a nazi.
    The spoilt little bastards!!

    • Looks like you’ve spawned a couple of nice, decent, well balanced adults there Miserable. Well done lad! 👏 👏 👏

      I’m sure they’ll go far. 😃

      • Ruff@
        While poles apart politically they are honest, sensible, professional people who contribute to society.
        Soft though.
        Possibly some french on their mothers side? Dunno.

      • I wouldn’t be overly concerned, Miserable. You know the old saying:

        ‘If you’re not a liberal when you’re young you have no heart. If you’re not a conservative by the time you’re 35, you have no brain.’

        I was a Commie when I was nine.

  5. Perhaps we need to introduce our offspring to ISAC to give them a more rounded view of the world. I’m sure they’re not aware of the cuntery of the Royal Mail and Sainsburys etc etc.
    Otherwise we’re going to end up with a whole generation of woke, leftie arseholes. I fear for the future, I really do.

  6. My siblings have children. I don’t have children.
    Sometimes I feel as though I am missing out.
    I feel as though I’m outside a shop looking through the shop window.
    Sometimes family envy me for not having any.
    I’ve never been married, never been kissed (a lie. I remember my first kiss was from the dog when I was a child).

    • Spoons@
      While happily snogging household pets it won’t lead to children.
      Besides, theyre overrated kids, ok while little but they turn into adults.
      And you know what they can be like!!😀

  7. Having children is what we are here for in some ways…to reproduce and spread around the world.
    The problem is though is that population is causing all kinds of problems and my money is in Covid 21 to kill 1 in 3.
    You better get training and eating healthy.
    Go fuck yourselves.

  8. I was lucky in that, as Mrs. Boggs was too lazy to contemplate a second child, we had a son. We have always got on well. I fear had I had a daughter she would either have ended up a TV addict like Mrs B., or would have become one of those ghastly Labour type wimmin, ho totally let themselves go and look about 60 when they are 25.

    Imagine being Jess Phillips or Anal-Ease Dodds father – I would have cursed the fact that I just didn’t have a good wank the night they were conceived. Girls and wimmin have got away with far too much buck for decades.

  9. When my daughter was a little girl she was wonderful, loving and obviously thought I was the funniest person on the planet.

    By the time she was in her early to mid teens she was arsey, harsh and thought I was the biggest arsehole/loser on the planet.

    Now she’s out of her teens, nothing much has changed.

    I blame her mother 😁

    • My lad was conceived fast, I was potent as fuck!-💪💪
      Surprised I wasnt headhunted by those fertility clinics,
      Worth a few bob like racehorse spunk or something!!
      It had a frothy head on it like a german beer.
      But bet now my tadpoles are just floating about,
      Old cunts jizz.
      Should of marketed it while young.

  10. Mr Polly, she’s (possibly) a cunt but she’s also your daughter. If she took your suitcase for you that’s love, assuming she didn’t take it permanently and sell all your trinkets.

    You’re the father, tell her you love her or hug her.

    Also I’m surprised at the civility of the replies, there’s not one crude or inappropriate suggestion!

    • Mr Polly, you’ve mentioned just three of the hundreds of reasons why I never wanted a daughter. I never wanted to raise one and I got my wish. I don’t mind being a biological father but raising kids is someone else’s job.

  11. Wait until the oldest one gets pregnant mate. That’s when the fun really begins. 4 months to go and I’m already sick of the fucking grandad jokes. And I’m only 47.

  12. I have an 8 year old daughter who could top the nominations for ISAC all day, every day. Have 3 boys who are no bother at all, but i’m sure that will all change someday. Kids eh!

    • I’m similar to you Flexi. 12 year old son, who is rational and a delight. 9 year old daughter can be an angel but in a flick of a switch turns into a growling, rude monster. I’ve nicknamed her Linda Blair because bed time can be like the Exorcist.

      • Yes , the neighbours have often complained that they can hear someone screaming “Fuck me Carras!” In the middle of the night.

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