Just had a shower and am now smelling of pink grapefruit because I bought the wrong shower gel. I normally go for the red one but picked up the pink one in front of several others because it looked red!
Radox are fucking cunts.
Nominated by: Dark key cunt
Afternoon Dark Quay. Did you know that you can now buy it in papaya which is more becoming of those of, let’s say, a darker hue.
Did you know that India produces the most papayas – over 5 million tons a year!
Have the kids in your laboratory still not come up with a cure for Covid?
7
Do not want the papaya one!
1
You could always use it as an Enema to soothe your ass , after all the action you’re gonna get.
3
Dark key cunt, dont worry about it.
Im always using the missus or daughters shower gel!
Just a smell isnt it?
And I use the bath stuff!
That liquid stuff smells dead fruity.
I couldnt give a flying fuck long as it smells better than unwashed arse.
Although have noticed a spring in my step that wasnt there before?
And started to wonder about pineapple lip balm?😀😀👍
14
You’ll be tying your beard in rainbow braids next Miserable, don’t let the nasty homophobes on here tell you to conform.
8
Afternoon LL,
Im unrepentant.
Come home smelling, dirty and sweaty, when I come out the bathroom Im like Liberace!
😀😀
“Luv got any organic guava and summer berry shower gel?”
Hehee
7
Liberace?
He’s certainly tinkled a few passages!
3
I’m going to market a fragrance called “Bum”. A nice mixture of sweaty arse and shit, matured for 1 month. I’ve road tested it on the missus when she’s not expecting it. Much better than that twat bird who’s got the candle that smells like her billingsgate fish market cunt.
6
Its already for sale but seems to be bought mainly by peacefuls and from what i can gather, by the pallet
8
“100% nature inspired fragrance”..
100% industrial chemical leftovers
I imagine the vats of those chemicals at the factory are rather like that one in the film RoboCop.
HeeelLlLlppPpPP MmeeHheE!!
I’ll just stick to hot water.
4
Smelling of pink grapefruit?
https://twitter.com/KENNETHWILLlAMS/status/1161539142582452227/photo/1
2
Congratulations Dark Key……..the first cunt to come out on ISAC. You are so brave…. blah blah woof woof.
Do you think blue curtains go with a brown carpet?
7
Stunning and brave. 🙂
5
I was going to say Dark Key, are you sure this was a genuine mistake or could it possibly be the manifestation of a subconscious personal need? They say that most people are bi-curious and this could possibly be a sign of latent gay desire on your part. Is so, be happy to embrace your newly-discovered predilection. It’s legal and it’s PC. The way things are going, one day it’ll be compulsory.
5
Hi Allan, I buy the red one because I’m a gooner. I was wearing a mask in Tesco’s at the time and wasn’t seeing properly!
2
Was that the Tesco Connect at Clapham Common?
3
I am unable to check as I am completely unable to get in my own fkin bathroom for thousands of tonnes of “ladies stuff”! (Mark my words, she’ll be demanding an opinion of her own soon!).
Somewhat bafflingly, none of it was there about a month ago – and now there are bleedin fluffy towels, warpaint and smelly stuff everywhere – but it kind comes with the territory where gals are involved and after the last harridan this one is like a breath of fresh air as well as being blonde and “astonishingly well racked”! 👍😃
In terms of shower gel I just buy anything moisturising, but avoid the own brand stuff – it’s nasty!
6
Check her pill cabinet. If there’s only aspro and berocca she’s a keeper
5
TT TS@ – I knew she was a keeper when she turned up for our first date in a big green shirt and a pair of gloves! 😃👍
4
Why would a “Keeper” be wearing a straight-jacket?
3
I think I’m smoking too much…..
3
Whenever I smell or taste pineapples it reminds me of sister Dolly’s pineapple upsidedown cake. Now THAT is truly scrumptious but I wouldn’t wash with it.
As long as I’m clean that is the main thing.
Sometimes I talk to myself when in the shower. Mainly just thinking aloud what I’m planning on doing that day.
‘ISAC or cake?’ ‘No, no. ISAC first then cake then tea then more ISAC’.
Sometimes when in the shop I do smell some of the soaps and shower gels. I like the apple smell.
Why are the lady soaps packaging all colourful and flowery looking ‘kind to skin’ and the men soaps packaging metal looking with words like ‘titanium infused quantum moisturised warp drive particles’?
13
Because all poofs love fancy-tech.
3
Did you also mistakenly wander into a sex-shop and buy a 12 inch rubber dildo thinking that you were actually in a green-grocers and purchasing a cucumber ?
16
Dicky, 12 inches? That’s very small for an outdoor swimming pool.
6
Oh! Dildo! I thought you wrote lido.
It must be all the soap bubbles from the shower gel in my eyes.
What’s a dildo?
5
Don’t ever be tempted to accept an invite to a pool-party at Michael Barrymore’s, Spoons.
Dildo…Lilo…Dodo….Michael doesn’t care,he’ll shove the fucker up there.
8
Michael Barrymore was kicked out of a local leisure centre recently. Apparently it was for putting his fags out in the pool.
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@ Lord Fiddler, if Tesco’s is a sex shop, then yes!
1
Do you know that they now sell papaya juice in the once infamous and fearsome Chelsea Shed?
Poofery has infested the game.
8
Paw paw is not my favourite tropical fruit. It has a strange smell like baby poo
1
Neither taste good on your cock.
Just thought I’d let you know.
2
Nowt wrong with soap&water
Cant go wrong with that
2
Ok.
I’ll turn on the water – and you pick up the soap then.
2
I am quite fond of the imperial leather shower gel called unicorn snowflake.
I normally am a racist homophobic cunt, but after a shower with this stuff I become tolerant, vegan and have an irresistible urge to receive a big black cock up my arse.
The scent wears off after about 10 minutes and then I return to normal.
And then I have to explain to my wife why Leroy is hanging out of my very sore arse.
8
Haven’t the BLM fascists demanded that Imperial Leather change the name because “Imperial” is a bit triggering for them?
7
They would want it changed to Studded Leather or Soft Pink Leather if those filthy bumreaming vermin had their way.
6
So that’s why I buy it, apart from the only available option being shower gel. I knew there had to be a reason, despite its pungent and repellent scent.
3
Just rub it around your cods, Dark Key Cunt. You might be in luck as the fruity fragrance might tempt the resident bumhole tonguer to pay you a visit.
7
Now now PM, I am only offering those pleasures to the females.
I remember a post of yours a while ago describing an ex of yours tonguing your bumhole….did you pull a face like your avatar when she did it? 😁
7
I speak from experience…an ex of mine liked to do that to me as well.
She was a proper dirty slaaag.
2
Did she have a big dog , and use a blindfold on you by any chance?
4
Dark key@
Loofah or scrubbing brush?
Little boats or ducks?
The daughter gets bath bombs from the bodyshop that smell good!
DONT buy the Gerry Adams one.
8
Hands. Purely hands, MNC!
1
I`m like that with face creams.
7
Unless there’s another willing guy to lick it off…….
2
I’ve been caught out by this evil trickery in the past.
I could only exorcise the appalling effect on my morale by whisky.
Frankly I may never recover.
Awful.
2
It’s not gay if you don’t push back.
2
This is Radox? Back in the Paleolithic, it consisted of a cardboard box of abrasive crystals possibly useful for cleaning up engine blocks, but allegedly providing a relaxing addition to your bath, with the unstated implication that it cured arthritis. (Back in the Palaeolithic, people had baths) It smelt vaguely like O-level Chemistry practicals. Another rugged character-building traditional product to be subverted by PC wokeness, then.
Shower gels = soap + water + a variety of adjuncts to gayness. A bar of soap does exactly the same job at a quarter of the price. Man up!
4
Komodo@
I can still use scented candles though right?
😀😀
2
Absolutely, essential accessories for the big bear 😂
3
Sicky I got you that ylang ylang one you wanted!😀👍
2
Yes, Miz, you can go the whole nine yards on that:
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/uk/beauty/fragrance/a30510012/gwyneth-paltrow-vagina-candle/
Previously cunted, I vaguely recall, so it has the required. ISAC endorsement
2
I’d totally forgotten about the box of gravel you’d sprinkle into the bath as a kid before climbing in whilst trying to keep your balls above the superheated water.
3
What ive pretty much said earlier .soap&water
Its quite rightly been around a very long time geologically speaking.
I dare say that rather splendid
Chap mr fiddler probaly uses some frightfully good stuff that repels all types (incl the working class)
4
Soap is dangerous.
One minute , you could be lathering up your toilet-area with a fresh Bar of Dove. Next second – it’s gone right up your rectum. Fucking hard to dislodge with wet fingers.
At least with shower-gel , if you accidentally insert a fist wrist-deep back there – it’s easily yanked-out.
2
This site is infested with closet gays, shower gel is chosen by price…..
The fucking cheapest, after all it’s only going down the plug hole. 😂
6
It was only a quid.
2
Tesco essentials 28p 😂
1
Carbolic Soap started me off as a youngster. Had to be cautious if used around the bollocks and arse but regular use toughened the privates and brought toleration of anything a filly could throw at them. Like strong fags and spirits a right of passage. Perfect partner for shinny Bronco and Izal Medicated. Old school Radox was an excellent oven cleaner.
11
I used to smoke Park Drive fags. But I bet no shop in this fanny nanny state stocks them any more.
5
Christ, those were foul. Only Weights were nastier. Escort were an improvement, and No.6 the height of sophistication…
But cash rarely ran to anything better. There was a lad at school who brought back bidis ( a tiny conical cigar thing containing chopped tobacco stems -perhaps -) from India and flogged them at 1/2 an old penny each. Fucking robber.
2
Park Drive were code for queers back in the day.
Offering a 5-pack meant you were a taker.
2
I grabbed a bottle of shampoo the boss had bought, apple blossom or something like that. Bloody frightening! thing is it smelled more like apples than fucking apples 🍎
2
I’m sure I read somewhere before you can buy a fragrance called ‘Vulva’ which is based on the odour of a vagina.
So whoever wears that literally smells like a cunt
4
https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/9784014/i-wear-vagina-perfume/
I can only assume they didn’t sample Abbott or Thornberry for their scent, which would be somewhere in-between fish guts and donkey shit. Corbyn would definitely know…
3
It wouldn’t surprise me to hear that blokes go prancing down Canal Street with arse-juice smeared over their faces.
3
Arse-juice , Spunk , Shit and Piss , with the odd bit of gob – to be exact.
2
I’m surprised Corbyn can show his face outside his front door after willingly giving up the pork sword to the fragrant Abbopotamus. Cunt.
4
I’m surprised he still has a face.
2
And what the fuck is all that ‘flavoured’ washing up liquid about?
There’s all sodding kinds and colours: apple, strawberry, orange, blueberry. When I was a lad my mum got only one of two types. Green fairy liquid or lemon Sqeezy. Who gives a fuck what it smells like as long as it does the job and cleans the shit off the pots? One can imagine a pair of duckies choosing a washing up liquid because it smells of cherries and has a ‘nice colour’. What a load of poofy bollocks.
4
“Now hands that do dishes
Can feel soft as your face.
With mild green Fairy Liquid”.
Poof
2
Cherry washing up liquid?!!!
Wow!!
And just out of interest, whered you get this cherry washing up liquid?
🍒🍒🍒
2
They have made the baby off the Fairy Liquid brand into some kind of Ray Winston mockney geezer too.
2
Yeah a cockney punk baby on a trials bike!
Probably one of Danny Dyers kids,
Fuck off treacle.
3
Yeah.
New Fairy Anti-Bacterial Fisting Butter.
Tough on germs.
Even tougher on your arse!
Now where’s yer tool?
2
Those cunts at Tescos sell it. Pure poovery.
https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/276806926
1
Didnt really want it Norman, lost my cherry years ago.
Was thinking as a christmas present for the missus.
1
MNC – if you buy the good lady a christmas present she will expect one every year!
(Girls eh?😃)
1
Joint present Foxy.
Daughter as well.
Thought id splash out.
3
Cherry bakewell. Mmmm.
Cream or custard? That is a tough decision.
2
Fork sake! That Chinese lady has ruined cherry bakewells for me.
https://www.womanandhome.com/recipes/dame-judi-dench-s-mini-cherry-bakewells/
2
I’m with Alfred E Neuman on this. I come from a time when lemonade was made with lemons and furniture polish wasn’t !😬
4
I end up with fuck knows what about my bollocks as I cant read the fucking labels when in the shower. Not sure if I smell like a whore’s handbag or a sack full of arseholes.
But a pink bottle? You need help.
2
Blindness is no excuse.
Plenty of brail shower gel about.
2
And shampoos
Wash and magoo…😀
2
Shampoo for the blind mnc very enterprizing
Mr magoo wash&and whered i put the fucking towel
1
And if he had alzheimers(a touch of joe biden)itd be where am i again/whats this fucking shower gel /i cant read the fucker(forgets hes blind as well
Oh fuck!wheres the towel!
Cunting shower gel gone in my eyea now im even more fuckin blind
1
Don’t knock the pink. If this pink cunt could get his arms on some serious armoury, he’d have no hesitation in deploying it against the coming cuntswarm.
1
I was thinking a high-tech , heavily armoured , stealth Tank – fitted with multiple flame-throwers. Protected by a crack squad of murderous infantry and snipers. With 2 attack helicopters circling to pick off retreaters.
But first – a bit of ‘team-bonding’ in the showers ‘eh?
3
Well since you’re offering, I’ll drop my soap er I mean get my hat.
1
coal tar soap and a metal swarf abrasive pad. manly ablutions. none of your pooftar smelling softie gayness here. And have you noticed how gay and homeo razors have become nowadays.
1
Any ‘man-grooming’ is a slippery slope to total faggotry.
As has been reported on here , it only takes a small exposure time with these new gels. Next minute , you’re waking up on Hampstead Heath with a gallon of black spunk running out of your sore , spasming bumhole.
2