Jay Blades of the Repair Shop

Posted on by

The Repair Shop is a great programme, and is one of the few I watch on AlBeeba. The quality of the craftmanship is incredible and is of course performed by our non-diiverse citizens, who have years of knowledge and experience to have honed their skills.

Being the virtue signalling cunts they are, the BBC fuck it up by having this grinning floppy present it.

He makes out he is in charge – he greets the punters with their broken kit, and the expert whitey fixes it using whatever unique and high quality skills are required. Said grinning loon then meets the punters and takes the credit for the high quality workmanship, when he does fuckall (I will admit that in one episode he swept the floor, saying “I will make myself useful”. Yeah, that’s about the ceiling of his “skills”. Obviously the woke Al Beeb producer hasn’t let him do that again).

He’s probably a terribly nice chap, but in allowing himself to be the face of diversity whilst contributing the square root of fuck all, Jay Blade you are a cunt. And he wears a fucking silly cap – double cunt.

The BBC are still cunts, but what do you expect…….

Nominated by: Big Al 

46 thoughts on “Jay Blades of the Repair Shop”

  1. Hi Jay, I have brought my Boris along as he is in a bit of a state. He stopped working properly about six or seven months ago, he has always bumbled and blustered but more than usual and I think the movement is shot as he constantly preforms U-turns or goes in circles. I’d like to keep the original jizz-mop haystack hair, sweaty gammon complexion and scruffy Just William schoolboy look but the main thing is getting him to stop being such a dithering cunt. Do what you can.

    • Enter Unkle Terry, with newly refurbished oven.
      Sorted.
      Morning campers ! ( From the Severn Valley )

  2. Never seen this show or heard of this fellow.
    Does he do a little song and dance routine to entertain the viewers, perhaps pull out a “geee-tar” and play some delta blues to entertain the craftsmen at work?
    Maybe light a bbq and make lunch for the hardworking craftsmen?
    Does he wander around commenting, saying things like:

    “Mah, mah, tha’s mighty fine my maan!”
    Or
    “Lordy, Lordy, lordy-you’s Done fix it up jes fine, yessur, jes fine”

    If not, then it’s a blatant case of pc virtue signalling from our wonderfully unbiased, national treasure the BBC, which I find hard to believe.

  3. “I’ve been a builder, a philosophy stoodent, now…..” he is a token on an afternoon TV show. The BBC, never knowingly underwoke ticks another bx. The same as Garden Rescue did by recruiting a dark key woman to join The Rich Brothers and Charlie Dimmock. Tick another box. They still haven’t found a poof yet though, so a black mark there (unless Dave and Harry are not really brothers)

    Fine if these people have anything new to offer, but our Jay is another Arfur Smiff, a bit of a lad, a bit of a wide boy, and somebody who woefully over-estimates his own talent. Painting a chair light blue and then painting just one leg bright red is not very useful – even for a failed philosophy student.

    The daft beret, the would-be matey attitude – what a cunt.

  4. Being fair to Jay,,he isn’t the only problem with that programme…the experts are a bunch of weirdos and cranks,the people who bring things in overly sentimental,sobbing fools who should have taken better care of their possessions the first time round…. and the articles themselves a load of old tat that would be better just chucked on the bonfire anyhow.

    Fuck them All.

    • Morning Fiddler, you wouldn’t let them anywhere near the colonial and African curiosities brought back from Great-uncle Fiddlers expeditions to the Dark Continent then?

      • Why is Jay in charge?
        Hes no master craftsman!
        Carrying stuff to the car and occasionally painting one chair leg a different colour doesnt make you a restoration expert!
        That leather pinney he wears hasnt seen a speck of paint or sawdust,
        I call foul.
        The only metal hes cleaned is his gold fuckin teeth and only polishing hes done is his pinney.
        I wouldnt have him near valuable heirlooms,
        Sorry but id search his pockets every time he was leaving the workshop, he’ll be straight down Cash Convertors.

      • “Why is Jay in charge?”

        It is because he is black, Miserable.

        Don’t you know the black man holds the whip hand nowadays?

        Get with it lad!

      • I admittedly hadnt got the email about our new black masters, but had a sneaking suspicion.
        Morning Ruff!
        Is Tarzan and Jane now cheetas servants?😀

      • He really is an irritating cunt
        “wotcha doin’ naw ?” he asks the clock repairer, who’s got more cogs & springs on the table than Joe Bidens heart specialist..

        I saw him as a ‘celebrity’ (FFS) competitor on Richard Osman’s house of games – he was thick as pig shit !

      • I would not,LL.

        The curator of my extensive collection of priceless exotic curios is someone who I checked out thoroughly before employing….I was strict in my criteria…” Coloureds,Homosexuals,Arty-Farty types,Old Maids,Fat Cunts and veggies who own pushbikes need not apply.”
        As the guardian of a treasure trove to equal King Tut’s tomb,I felt it my duty to weed out the undesirables early…actually I hoped that the ginger tart Kate Williams would apply…I’d let her lovingly stroke and caress my valuables anytime…but no luck yet….Gemma’ll just have to keep running the hoover around between our daily 15 hour long tantric sex sessions.

        Morning LL
        Morning All.

      • Sting famously boasted of indulging in hours of tantric lovemaking….I believe him…if I was trying to pork that hideous old hag Trudie Styler, I too would be able to pound away for days before being able to shoot my load.

        LOL

    • PS…someone should put a match to that old wooden shed that they all lurk in too…my horses and fox- hounds have better quarters than that.

      • Dick@
        Hope your sticking to the new lockdown measures?
        You people in north east have made this coronavirus pandemic worse, its all ‘canny’ to you lot till people start dropping,
        No more out on the ‘toon’ Stay home, stay safe, run, hide, tell.
        😀

      • I didn’t stick to thee old lockdown measures so the new ones are fairly unlikely to bother me…we Country folk don’t catch such diseases…that’s for soft Southerners (anyone South of Hexham).
        Morning MNC.

      • Oh I very cleverly got the better of all those over-paid experts,Mike…I started supping an hour earlier..fucking Eggheads hadn’t thought of that one,had they ?

      • The NorthEast is not a part of the country I know at all although my wife and I have talked about visiting (Christ knows when).

        Years ago we did some walking along Hadrian’s Wall. It was October half term and quite pleasant and sunny when walking but cold once we stopped and had wait for a bus back to the pub where we were staying. I assume your vast landholdings are north of the Wall.

        I particularly would like to see Bamburgh castle and Durham castle and cathedral. There was also a battle at Hexham in the Wars of the Roses but I’m sure there’s fuck all to see there if Agincourt, Waterloo and Crecy are anything to go by.

        The only problem is the school Summer holidays here are in December and January so I’m not sure about braving the Northumbrian Winter. I assume a warm welcome awaits us at the Towers?

      • @Mike….A warm welcome awaits you indeed if you show up here with your fancy booklearning and Degree….and as for the claims of a “wife”? How dare you rub other Cunters’ noses in it with your (rather fanciful) claim to have a real-life woman?…the only Cunter who I believe actually has a wife is Mr.Boggs.

      • Mike@
        This pub wasnt in Brampton was it?
        I moved the landlord in.
        Then went for a nosey at Hadrians wall, wasnt impressed.
        Italian construction leaves a lot to be desired.
        You know Brampton Dick?
        I conversed with the locals through hand signals and odd bits Id gleaned from the Likely Lads.

      • More Nicole Kidman than Barry Humphries.

        We can have a ‘double date’ (fucking Yanks) with you and Gemma.

  5. Never seen or heard of this bloke but he looks like that other BBC favourite, Rio ‘faithful husband to the last’ Ferdinand. I might start a campaign to have Rio replace the crisp eating, tax dodging ball of slime. All in the name of diversity and making up for the slave trade, of course.

  8. My sentiments exactly.
    Only a cunt would willingly and blatantly take credit from someone else’s dedicated skills on national TV and you can trust the BBC to support it.
    Proof once again that diversity breeds contempt.

  9. “What dat ya bring me today ya posh bee atch?”
    “Oh Jay dhaling moi I brought one a piece of valueless shite I found in a skip can you make something tasteless and vulgar from it duckie dharling”
    ” Oh ya ma lady I make a roww battt or a CD holdaaar, my talent no no bounds ma lady”

    30 minutes later

    “Oh Jay you wonderfully diverse gentleman, what have you made moi?”
    ” I made ya a raww baaattt, every Grauniad readers shack need one of deeessss ma lady”
    “Oh excellent Jay dharling I’ll sell it for £300 and give you a KFC banquet bucket for your excellent work”
    “Sure ting ma posh bee atch, happay to help da purdy laday”

    A load of utter cunt, glad my tv went in the skip!

    • I got your tv out of that skip.
      Jay had a fine arts craftsmen in manchester turn it into a robot.
      It sold to a gay couple in Shoreditch for £900.👍👍

  11. Couldn’t give a flying fuck what colour he is. Nice cheerfu lseries amongst the rest of the drivel. It is about the only BBCunt programme I have time for.

  12. Thank you to Big Al for saving me the trouble of writing up this cunting myself.

    I watched Repair Shop for a few weeks back in the Spring but the sight of the grinning baboon Jay Blades in his look-at-me garb (deduct another point for a stupid name!) adding fuck all to proceedings just wore me down.

    And as Dick has so eloquently put it, the same old formula of great-grannies old tat being restored amid the gruesome buckets of tears just fucking irritates. Thank fuck the weather’s been good and I can get outside instead of watching this shite.

  13. I’m sure there was a tranny and his wife on The Repair Shop the other evening with a bellows camera.
    I suppose that ticks another box.

  14. With their evening fare unwatchable these days, daytime beeb must be even worse. Move along, definitely nothing to see here….

    • You’re not wrong.

      Even Neighbours has been fucked up by the Diversity Agenda and it’s very noticeable how the Aussie tv in general seems even more afflicted than us. Where are Paul Hogan and Dennis Lillee when you need them? Even that ex-PM can’t take any more and has come to the U.K. as a trade envoy.

      Time was when Neighbours cast had plenty of juicy fanny but now they’re all whiney teen kids agitating about the environment and who are invariably gay, lesbian, trans, dark key.

      In the words of the Bard himself, Ian Dury,……….Fucking Ada.

  15. Big Al, sweeping the floor is hard work, boring, and potentially dangerous with all that dust.
    This Jay Blades fellow should use a vacuum cleaner.
    I recommend a Henry. The charming smile will surely perk up someone whilst vacuuming. 🙂

  17. As boring as it may seem, I have an interest in upholstery. One day I watched a few minutes of this chap covering a headboard and I thought I would keep watching to see how he tackled the corners, which is the hardest bit to get right. Guess what, he just skipped over that saying ‘and now for the corner’ and the next shot was of the finished article thereby completely glossing over it.

    • Getting the corners and the creases in between the buttoning right is the hardest part of the job Cuntologist (especially leather!) – there are some very good step by step guides on youtube.

  18. I like this programme but have regularly said to Lady Fontlacunt what is the point of Jay as he does fuck all. Shakes hands and takes stuff to the car. That’s it!
    He had his own programme a little while ago and you can watch him make utter shite out of complete rubbish. It is pure talent to make something worse than it was.
    I think this is why they don’t let him near the tools.

Comments are closed.