Gwyneth “Sniff my Candle” Paltrow (2)

I see that actress, “lifestyle guru” and twat Paltrow is at it again, “challenging people’s perceptions” about, er, candles.

Cunters will no doubt recall (how could we possibly forget?) that some months back, the 47-year-old LA airhead launched a candle called “This Smells Like My Vagina”. This retails on her “Goop” website for a mere $75 a pop.

Not one to sit on her fortune (if you’ll pardon the expression), Goopy Gwyneth has followed up with a new candle entitled “This Smells Like My Orgasm”. Chirps the website, “where ‘Orgasm’ is bright, vibrant and uplifting, ‘Vagina’ is more deeply sensual, warm and seductive”.

Well, as ludicrous and pretentious as it sounds, good ol’ Gwynny has undoubtedly spotted a gap in the market, and is cashing in big time as the candles fly off the shelves. Indeed, there appears to be a waiting list; I ordered an “Orgasm” for the wife which she’s desperate to have, but I’m told that she’ll have to wait some time before it comes.

Nominated by: Ron Knee 

85 thoughts on “Gwyneth “Sniff my Candle” Paltrow (2)

  1. Marvellous!!

    I’ve decided to hit the scented candle market so here comes

    Saggy bollocks and summer knob cheese ….

    Utterly pretentious bollocks
    In Paltrow speak she has “unconsciously uncoupled” herself from reality!!
    Daft cunt

  2. I wonder who’s fingers she used as a reference? Or did she let the perfumier sniff away whilst mixing the aroma. Maybe she fingered herself, whilst thinking of me obviously, then offered said sticky fingers to the conk of the aroma mixer. Makes you wonder.

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