The Old Fossil, Ken Ham

Ken Ham is a cunt, isn’t he.

Who’s this wacko and why does he look so unevolved? Ham is an Australian creationist now living in the States and has called for Charles Darwin to be “cancelled.”

“The intellectual and philosophical heritage of Charles Darwin is one of the most hideously racist legacies one can fathom.” He continues that the ideas of Darwin (one of the greatest ever Englishmen) “…fuelled racism. Hitler, and his idea of a superior race, used Darwin’s writings to justify what he did to the Jews and others.”

Hambo built a big Ark that cost about $100 million and is part of an amusement park for Fundamentalist wingnuts who believe the world was built in six days. It sits on wooden stilts in a park in Kentucky and has never touched the water. Just like the one in the story.

In case you’ve forgotten, the story of Noah is the one where God, the bearded omniscient deity, is angry with his creation and decides to murder everyone in a giant flood, except for those who’ve kissed deity arse the most. He tells Noah to build a massive boat and to put two of every creature on board in a strange, desultory, incestuous concept. They’ll all be safe while God is busy drowning all the sinners.
Goodness.

You don’t have to be a wide-eyed believer to visit the Ark but you mustn’t mention ‘dinosaurs’ if you do.

God was not available for comment because he doesn’t exist

Nominated by: Captain Magnanimous 

40 thoughts on “The Old Fossil, Ken Ham

    • I don’t know but he’s not half as bad as the peaceful nutjob who lived between 571 AD and 632 AD.

  1. So this crank believes in a genocidal lunatic who lives in the sky, but disses carbon dating. Wow! Just wow!

    • Radiocarbon dating is proven science – carbon isotopes decay at a uniform rate and the age can be checked by this – it’s like seeing an apple rot, you can work out from the advancement of decomposition how old the apple is (RCD is a bit more complicated than that but a similar principle).
      And I firmly believe Jesus fought and killed the dinosaurs in the coliseum!

      • LOL. Good one, Big Vern. It’s odd that neither the Bible nor the oldest text ever discovered – The Dead Sea Scrolls – mention anything about the dinos.

        I told my ex – a Bible bashing Baptist cunt – that if I wrote down tales of me walking on water, turning water into wine, curing lepers, etc. then buried it so that it wouldn’t be found for 2000 years, DOESN’T MAKE IT TRUE!!!! FFS!

  2. You know your movement is intellectually fucked when it gets hijaccked by Young Earth Creationists.

  3. And let me guess… According to this nutjob we all started off black in the middle of Africa. ‘Di cray-dal of civi-li-zashion’ and we owe everything to them?

    Yadder yadder yadder. Utter fucking bollocks.

    • The African “cradle of civilisation” theory is being debunked Year on Year, but this does not fit the narrative so nothing to see here.
      As we all know Human life began in Pontefract 237 Years ago, on a Wednesday, just before tea.
      This theory can be supported with as much factual evidence as Ken Ham’s delusions – as Willis said (almost!) In Enter the Dragon – “bullshit Mr Ham Man!”

      • Hang on….if human life began “just before tea”…..who the fuck was having tea? Was it the aliens? Come on Big Vern, you know more than you’re letting on! Spill the beans maaaar saaaarn.

      • This is Pontefract we’re talking about. Anything possible for a place that makes cake out of liquorice and specialises in rhubarb.

      • The dinosaurs were having tea – then went for a pint at the Ancient Borough Arms – known locally as “The ABH” with very good reason, they tried to change the one telly from footer to golf, big fight, dinosaurs extinct!
        BUT DON’T TELL ANYONE! 😄👍

      • Pontefract to one side, there are now thought to be two streams of evolution.

        One originating in what is now mongolia and the other in Africa.

        The Mongolian bunch evolved, made tools, created societies and spread out to find new lands.

        Hence the fact that Inuits, far east asians and to a degree red Indians and Europeans have similar appearances.

        The African bunch stayed put and waited for TV to be invented by the Mongolian bunch so that they could guilt trip everyone else into giving them free money.

        Here endeth the lesson.

      • And a bit of a Dr Dolittle to boot. How the fuck did he convince the lions not to eat the giraffes? Clever fucker obviously.

    • I think the idea of Africa being the ‘cradle of humankind’ remains valid.

      Primitive humanoids started there 3.5 million+ years ago, then everyone with any get up and go fucked off leaving behind the lazy, thick and feckless, which is why Africa remains the basket case it is to this day.

      The intelligent, industrious humans who spread out to inhabit the rest of the world subsequently evolved lighter skins over hundreds of thousands of years depending on the environments within which they ultimately settled.

      That is my theory, it is mine, and belongs to me and I own it, and what it is too.

      Signed: Anne Elk. (Mrs)

      • Back in the day when a few adventurous chaps set off from the great rift they discovered a few Neanderthals and not having had a shag in a while found a couple who would shag anything for a banana.
        As the years went by the Neanderthals died off because they were, to put it bluntly, a bit thick. However the ‘humans’ found that the offspring of a good Neanderthal shag had produced something that was a little brighter and so it went on, we now posses a little bit of Neanderthal DNA which is why we are genetically superior to the lazy cunts who sat around in the Rift Valley sucking cock.

      • Cradle of humankind, yes. Giant eagle owls used to eat human children in Tanzania, but the cradle of civilization was the area between the eastern Mediterranean and black sea, (Turkey, Jordan, Syria) to Iran and the Russian steppes and the Indus valley in Pakistan and down along the Euphrates in Mesopotamia (now Iraq).

        The meme of ‘We woz Kings’ is silliness. Some people really believe Africa had some sort of Atlantean super-civilisation (‘cos Egypt is in Africa) but all the evidence puts the agricultural revolution in the middle east and Southern Eurasia. That’s wherecthe ancestors of most modern herd animals are from. I remember reading wheat was first cultivated in that region as well.

  4. No doubt he will say all those dinosaur bones are made of plastic and were buried by embittered paleontologists unable to face the truth that the Earth is only 6k years old.

  5. I would like to think that people such as Ken don’t really believe the rubbish they spout; they see it as a way to make a reputation, money etc. The alternative is that we are of the same species as this bunch. That is far more worrying.

    • L Ron Hubbard. A science fiction and fantasy author who founded the Church of Scientology.
      You really have to be gullible to believe nonsense like this, but there’s one born every minute.

      • That do many people, quite literally “buy into” that Scientology shite, never ceases to amaze me.
        It’s a mad crazy world.
        Full of cunts.

      • Don’t Scientology members believe that it grants them immortality or something?
        Must have come as a bit of a shock for poor old Isaac Hayes (RIP)

      • People mock Scientology, even cunts from other religions, but is it any more ridiculous than the others? Even the Mormons, and they will believe any old shit.

      • In the early 1970s the wankers at Scientology got my address from a mate trying to wind me up. The first letter arrived before I started as an undergraduate at Durham, they did no stop until I had a PhD.

  6. I rather liked the Daoist hell theme park in Singapore, where it shows all the punishments you shall expect for sins commited on Earth before moving to the next life.
    I’d quite like to see a “The Jews are right version” where botherfolk and slimeys face an eternity of torment for being bombastic proselytising cunts.

  7. Ken Ham? I thought he was some slitty eyed celebrity chef. You never hear of him now. Hardly surprising……..people aren’t interested in batshit soup these days.

  8. Social Darwinism, still less anti semitism, were hardly inventions of Hitler. But when the only history you’ve ever read is the fucking bible, and you believe every single fucking word of it, the confusion is understandable. I suspect interpretation and historiography are not exactly Mr Ham’s strong points. He should get a teaching job at Cambridge. Thick as a plank.

  9. Did god approach Noah to build an ark because he was the most righteous of people, or because he was shit hot at building boats, and was really good with animals? Surely you can’t be all three?
    How did he manage to round up pangolins? I hadn’t heard of them until the Chinese had pretty much eaten them all….

  10. The chosen Dinosaurs missed the ark that is why there are no Dinosaurs lurking in the bushes now. When the two Unicorns met on the ark the conversation went something along the lines of “Hi my names Bob whats yours? Stephen” ipso facto a World sans Unicorns. Really simple must be true.

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