Baseball caps

Baseball caps

One good aspect of the suspension of sports because of the Coronavirus crisis is that we no longer have to see jerks like Lewis Hamilton, Roger Federer or Tiger Wood giving press conferences wearing baseball caps with the name of a sponsor on them. (“Titleist” is my favorite although I don´t know what it is advertising. Presumably not tits.) None of these overpaid fannies actually plays baseball.

Having said that, I have to admit to being a bit of a hypocrite here as I wear baseball caps all the time. (No. I am not a baldie trying to hide the receding hairline!) However, I keep losing them and am currently mourning the following – “Scotland”, “Glasgow Celtic”, “Cape Town”, “Namibia” and “Natal – Lugar do Sol” (a resort in the north east of Brazil I visited). I am now wearing a “Paris Saint Germain” cap but it will probably have gone by the time you read this. They usually go amiss after I have had a few.

I wonder if there are other baseball cap wearers among ISACers and what would be written on them. Fiddler is an obvious “Fuck Off”, BWC would be the Rolling Stones tongue logo and Ron Knee would need a whole top hat for his Nietzsche-like musings on the world.

Nominated by Mr Polly

76 thoughts on “Baseball caps

  1. Yep, a paid up member of the baseball cap wearing fraternity here. My topping of choice comes from a local mens wear store “Rod and Gun”, the logo being a pointer dog and the store name. Fuck the sports branded wank, I’m not contributing to their already vast coffers.

    P.s. I’m not a chrome-dome either: after 7 weeks of lockdown and one decidedly shonky home bowl-chop, I’m in desperate need of a proper haircut. Level 2 starts here at midnight Wednesday, so Thursday I’ll be queuing up for a trim 😀

    • More a flatcap man, or a wool beanie when out climbing over a gate with
      PRIVATE keep out!
      I like a hat,
      Don’t do trilbys though.
      Only Sid James and elderley Caribbean blokes seem to pull it off.

      • Balanced on top of a wild dreadlocked bonce, I think any hat on a Caribbean bloke looks cuntish.

      • Morning Kiwi, no not the natty dredd blokes, mean the older blokes who have short hair.
        The old porkpie hat seemed to suit them.

      • Evening Miserable, we’ll chat to each other while the older members on here wait for their carers to revive them.

        You reckon the porkpie hat ala Desmond’s is the way forward?

      • Only if your from Trinidad or Jamaica an play dominoes!😀
        The missus cant wear hats, always looks a bit awkward an self conscious, me though?
        Im brazen! No self doubt whatsoever, so can wear any hat from a baseball cap too a sombrero!☺

      • Ah yes, the sombrero….a big fuck off patch of shade wherever you are. Top notch noggin covering and no mistake (unless it’s raining, then the cunting thing turns into a mobile paddling pool)

      • I’m surprised we’ve not all been governmentally directed to wear sombreros at the moment. A nice 2 metre diameter would nanny-state protect us from the sunshine we’ve had of late, as well as acting as a bumper device to keep us properly socially distanced.
        Baseball caps worn backwards are the single most cuntish bit of headgear on the planet. If you must wear one, at least have the good grace to wear the fucker the right way round.

    • I have to confess to wearing a baseball cap pretty much all of the time. The reason being that I need reading glasses, my eyesight is fine for long distance but close up I’m fucked so I have my readers with one of those string thingies on around my neck and the peak of my baseball cap makes a perfect shelf for resting the damn things on.
      I could keep them in my pocket but I am generally up to my armpits in grease and oil from fucking around with old bike engines so on my head with something to stop them constantly sliding down my mush seemed the best solution.
      I will state in my defence that it is a plain black one with nothing written on it and I bought it from Spasda for a fiver.

  2. I guess if we’re going for the personal touch on our hats, mine could say “I live in an Arsehole Bit” (Courtesy to Owain Glyndwr post on “Our Relationship With Wild Animals” nom) 😂😂

  3. I wouldn’t be seen dead in a baseball cap….and view anyone over the age of 18 who wears one as common and probably a criminal of some sort.

    As for what would be on “my” baseball cap,it would have to be…. ” I was in an accident and suffered severe brain carer put this scummy thing on my head to make me look a TWAT”…it would be the only explanation for me wearing such a titfer.

    • It could be worse. They could be wearing baseball caps…BACKWARDS!

  4. I wouldn’t be seen dead in a baseball cap….and view anyone over the age of 18 who wears one as common and probably a criminal of some sort.

    As for what would be on “my” baseball cap,it would have to be…. ” I was in an accident and suffered severe brain carer put this uncouth thing on my head to make me look a TWAT”…it would be the only explanation for me wearing such a titfer.

    Fuck Off.

    • Evening Dick….what constitutes a quality hat for the landed Gentry?

      A nice stovepipe?

      A deerstalker?

      A balaclava?

      Just curious, my good man.

      • I have a top-hat for formal occasions ( court appearances, Masked Balls, Henly, playing croquet on my vast front lawn etc.
        I also have a Sherlock Holmes style deerstalker for less formal occasions…although sometimes find that the flaps catch on my monocle which can be a bit of a bore.
        While out punting on my Lake Windermere sized trout lake I wear a straw boater.

        I will forgive you your ignorance of sartorial elegance for the well-bred man…you are after all….a Colonial.

        Are you a Maori?

        Evening KiwiCunt

      • A Maori? Let me respond in kind….fuck off!

        I know plenty of them and the ones I do associate with are working family men. They are however let down by the majority of indigenous* people who are benefits bludgers, to say the least.

        *Indigenous my fucking arse. Ask the Mori-ori who was here first. Oh, that’s right, the “first settler” Maori butchered the majority and chased off offshore the remainder. The last descendants died on the Chatham Islands in the mid 80s, thus giving free rein to the Maori “Treaty Settlement” farce.

    • Not even “git orf moi laaand” or the logo of a well known firearms manufacturer? 😆😆😆

      • If they were close enough to read the “git orf my laaand” they would undoubtedly have already heard my views on trespassers and were only still in the vicinity due to the fact that the hounds had them pinned to the ground by the throat.

        Morning Baron.
        Morning All.

    • You lie, Dick. I definitely recall you wearing a Burberry baseball cap pulled low over your face last time we went incognito to ‘the other pub in the village.’

      I have a $3 non-logo baseball cap I wear to play golf and nowhere else. And yes, I am a cunt.

      • Being fair, I don’t think that it was my face that made such an impression on the auld trout….it was when I set my pubes alight and then waved my cock at her, if reports are to be believed.

        Morning Mike…..particularly enjoyed your last few posts at

        You make some excellent points….if only you would repent and accept Our Lord and Saviour into your heathen existence there may still be time to save your Soul from Eternal Damnation.

        🙂 .

  5. I wear two hats – my public one, under which I hide my detestation of people in general. Then my ISAC hat when I can say what I really think.

  6. Have never worn a baseball cap primarily because they’re chavvy, but also I don’t want to encourage some glorified game of rounders worshipped by millions of Americans!

  7. Purely for the quizzical look on folk’s faces, mine would read:-


  8. Never worn a baseball cap ever, because I’m not an American
    I do however have several black “Benny” hats for cold weather.
    I like to think they make me resemble a WW2 Commando but it’s more likely that I look like I’m about to do someone’s house over..

    • There was about the man’s voice, his manner, his ‘Benny’ hat, something that portended danger…..

      • Dont see old biddies with fruit on their hats anymore, would think in these health conscience times itd make a reappearance?
        Carmen Miranda chic and a healthy snack.

      • Or just eat Carmen Miranda….a Vitamin C overload (assumimg she eats fruit) and dispatch the annoying bint in one move.

      • The Pamploma festival is full of people with fruit in their hats….well tomatoes….and in their ears, eyes and nostrils….

    • Given I live to the north of USA I wear different hats depending on weather. If I’m cycling and it’s between -10 to -30 Celsius I go full face balaclava. 5 to -10 what the locals call a toque (pronounced ‘took’). I sport a buzz cut so in summer I go for a flat cap.
      Baseball caps? No chance.
      Over here I find they mostly have some dumb cunt underneath them.

  9. An off topic comment…..your Government has just started using a “Covid Level” system to give the plebs some idea of what is going on? Seems like a no brainer to me, but maybe I’m biased as we were introduced to that idea from the very start.

    Keeping things (relatively) simple helps an awful fucking lot.

    • I’m no fan of any Labour PM but at least your PM isn’t a public schoolboy twat. NZ has been very clear in its approach to the CCP virus and is keeping out all the riff-raff whilst we are still letting fucking illegals cross the English Channel and giving them directions to the benefits’ office.
      At least Boris is going about Brexit in the right way after the disastrous premiership of Mavis but he’s proving himself to be a buffoon in most other respects.

  10. The only hat I wear is a crash helmet, but that’s only if I need to go to the bank. It get’s ’em a bit jumpy for some reason.

  11. When I lived in Brum I saw a letterbox and her four young suicide-bombers-in-the-making all wearing baseball caps, while strolling through the Bull Ring shopping centre one summer’s day!

    Why a letterbox wanted to wear a cap fuck only knows, but the image was pure Kafkaesque all the same!

    • That’s so you tell one letterbox apart from another. It’s bad form among the peacefuls to go home with the wrong letterbox.

  12. Wearing a black baseball cap with an orange peak would look like you’d shoved your head up Daffy Duck’s arse. (minus his startled, bulging eyes of course)

    Cuntwear – Mind you, I’m afraid I did used to wear them back in the 90s – including a Ribena one with an FM radio in it (probably worth a fortune now – I’ll go check on ebay)

  13. The only baseball cap you need is a MAGA hat. A real conversation starter or even an occasional fight.

    If you can’t get a MAGA cap an NRA cap will do.

  14. I would love to wear a proper hat. But I have a head like a Mekon from those Dan Dare comics. I have baldness like a monk, as well.
    I do wear a bobble hat without the bobble when it’s cold outside, though.

  15. Could extend this to hats full stop. Absolutely hate wearing them.

  16. Baseball caps are fucking useless unless you’re playing American rounders. No protection to the neck or ears. A total bag of wank, and you look a massive cunt wearing one. I’ve a cricket hat, much better. Nice wide rim, green underneath the rim so no sun reflection. Fuck yank shit. I’m English. Cunts that wear baseball caps eat fucking McWank and fried chicken too. Cunts.

    • Cap wearing cunts that boil my piss are those twats who drive around (usually in an orange Subaru or the like that sounds like a fucking Tornado taking off) with the cap turned back to front. Naturally they’ll have the windows down and a hammering bass and drum refrain going that can be heard in the next county.
      They should just get ‘CUNT’ printed on the front of the cap and have done with it.

      • I prefer CUNT in dayglo, spray-painted on the sides, bonnet, roof, with said cunt in backwards-hat, dragged out, tied to the nearest lamppost and doused in his own engine oil with the well lubed tailpipe shove up his chavvy arse.

  17. I wear a baseball cap for cycling, golf (CUNT! – thought I’d save you all the trouble🤣) and general messing about – useful for keeping the sun out of your eyes, less so for protection (fried ears, nose and neck in hot weather and four hours on a golf course is long enough to get seriously burned) and a white baseball cap is useful for visibility when riding at night.
    If the weather is cold wooly hat, and of course my trusty crime balaclava! 👍😀
    Unfortunately the “baseball cap” thing has been stolen by chav scratters to go with their Burberry polo tops and “tracky bottoms” (socks tucked into them of course, innit) so everyone who wears one these days is suspected of crimes against gentlemanly manners, gainful employ and hygiene! (Correctly in most cases!).
    And it’s quite funny to take the hat off indoors to reveal the “Stormtrooper holidaying in Poland” haircut and see how genuinely terrified some people look!
    The chavs should have a baseball cap that says “Clap for chlamydia”! 🤣
    And baseball caps are a very good aid to accuracy, ranging and target acquisition when firing at a distant target Sir Fiddler! (Top Fox tips!)

  18. Got a baseball hat that I don’t wear from the Maldives but wear both a Kakadu hat ( from Oz) and a Tarp hat which is made in Brazil from recycled tarpaulins.

  19. They seem to be uniform for our local Romanians, who all have the MANKIEST greasy hair you have EVER seen…

    • Too busy pickpocketing and people trafficking to wash it!
      (and of course they are also dirty smelly b*stards!)

    • Don’t forget the Michelin-man anoraks they all seem to wear. may as well carry a fucking great sign around.

  20. I know a few blokes who are balding and wear them. It only bothers me when I see anyone over 18 wearing one with the peak to the side or the back.

    Fucking idiots.

  21. I’ve never worn a baseball cap, they serve no purpose, except to make you look like a cunt. They offer no protection against heat or cold.
    My headgear includes several trilbys, two fedoras and for freezing weather, a good old fashioned tea cozy type, dark green woolly hat.

  22. They’re part of the uniform for local wannabee gangsta white boys innit bruv yagitme.

    along with the smegstained trackie bottomed cheapo grey flannel ‘chavsuit’, white trainers and ‘dealer bag’ strapped across their puny little chest.

  23. Baseball is fucking shit anyway. Ever tried watching it? What a load of wank.

    Trust the yanks to watch the noble and skilfull sport of cricket and come up with that bag of wank instead.

    Cunts should wear baseball caps because the sport is a load of cunt.

  24. Anyone who has ever worn any style hat with ” Glasgow Celtic” on it is a fucking cunt of the highest order!!

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