Self Barbering
Reals cunts live alone. If you have some other person who is prepared to live in your loathsome, insufferable presence, you’re hardly a true cunt. I am a cunt.
. Yet, I am also folically fortunate so whilst the economy and our liberty shrinks around us, my hair continues to flourish, with wanton disregard for the lockdown rules or forced inability to visit a barber and no “other half” to attempt a ham-fisted hacking at my greying locks.
I am aware that some of you cunts can get by with a quick wipe over with a damp cloth, or a cursory rub with some Duraglit over your sparsely populated dome but I have had to resort to drastic measures. Following this mornings self administered hackings, I have gone “full cunt”, in that not only am I one but I now also look one. I look like someone has hammered a bowler hat onto my head, then unscrewed it to remove it.
Obviously I can’t see around the back of my head (but frankly wouldn’t recognise it as mine if I could – who would FFS ? When the barber holds up the mirror to let you see the back of your head, I have always thought that could be a photo of any cunt’s head for all I know… I digress). Problems with self-barberism include clippings of hair down the krunders, random chunks of hair missing altogether, the possibility of gouging a divot in the noggin, losing an eyebrow / earlobe or two.
Any other cunts on here given it a go ?
Nominated by Cunt Reviled
Just the usual do it myself tuppeny all off with the clippers, no guard
sorted, no coronapanic dodgy haircuts here
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The best is when you have those round style clippers that rip instead of clip, you can charge the fucker for 8 hours and that equates to 8 minutes worth of ripping and the half way through WTF its stopped whilst stuck to your hair and you have to attempt a behind your head strip down of the fucking thing to get it off as painlessly as possible and then charge the fucker for 8 hours again all the while thanking god its a lock down and no one will see you and your try a fuck hair style peppered with blood spots, grazes and bald patches….Nick fucking Clark really is a monumental cunt….
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the only setback to the flowbee though is you must remained attached to a vacuum cleaner of fair quality as to get all the cunt hairs cut in a uniform fashion. and you won’t be very portable either. you gotta be one of those big Swedish blowfish from a strongman competition to lug this heavy ass Kirby around. I swear this piece of junk weighs in at 15 kgs.
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