Self barbering

Self Barbering

Reals cunts live alone. If you have some other person who is prepared to live in your loathsome, insufferable presence, you’re hardly a true cunt. I am a cunt.
. Yet, I am also folically fortunate so whilst the economy and our liberty shrinks around us, my hair continues to flourish, with wanton disregard for the lockdown rules or forced inability to visit a barber and no “other half” to attempt a ham-fisted hacking at my greying locks.
I am aware that some of you cunts can get by with a quick wipe over with a damp cloth, or a cursory rub with some Duraglit over your sparsely populated dome but I have had to resort to drastic measures. Following this mornings self administered hackings, I have gone “full cunt”, in that not only am I one but I now also look one. I look like someone has hammered a bowler hat onto my head, then unscrewed it to remove it.

Obviously I can’t see around the back of my head (but frankly wouldn’t recognise it as mine if I could – who would FFS ? When the barber holds up the mirror to let you see the back of your head, I have always thought that could be a photo of any cunt’s head for all I know… I digress). Problems with self-barberism include clippings of hair down the krunders, random chunks of hair missing altogether, the possibility of gouging a divot in the noggin, losing an eyebrow / earlobe or two.
Any other cunts on here given it a go ?

Nominated by Cunt Reviled

89 thoughts on “Self barbering

  1. The best is when you have those round style clippers that rip instead of clip, you can charge the fucker for 8 hours and that equates to 8 minutes worth of ripping and the half way through WTF its stopped whilst stuck to your hair and you have to attempt a behind your head strip down of the fucking thing to get it off as painlessly as possible and then charge the fucker for 8 hours again all the while thanking god its a lock down and no one will see you and your try a fuck hair style peppered with blood spots, grazes and bald patches….Nick fucking Clark really is a monumental cunt….

  2. the only setback to the flowbee though is you must remained attached to a vacuum cleaner of fair quality as to get all the cunt hairs cut in a uniform fashion. and you won’t be very portable either. you gotta be one of those big Swedish blowfish from a strongman competition to lug this heavy ass Kirby around. I swear this piece of junk weighs in at 15 kgs.

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