I’d like to nominate Greggs for a flaky-baked, virtue-signalling cunting.

Greggs have awarded Stormzy their first ever “Black” Card, thus allowing him free pastries for life:

Well, I’m sure the multimillionaire Stormzy needs a hand up in this respect. He quite clearly has no means to buy his own food, and so I expect this to be featured as one of the teary-eyed stories in the upcoming “Comic Relief” pageant.

“And now Davina McCall plays white-saviour to Stormzy’s oppressed BAME arse, by feeding him a cheese and onion pastie and a chocolate eclair!”

Yeah, the homeless/struggling veterans don’t need Greggs “Black” Cards do they? They can just fucking starve! I mean all they have done is serve the country they love, as opposed to denigrating/hating the country/people that welcomed and accepted them into their society.

Boo destitute veterans! Yay millionaire grime artists!

Given this, I’d recommend that the common sense folk out there boycott Greggs, as a show of disapproval towards their virtue-signalling bias.

Get woke, go broke! You get what you fucking deserve!


Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt!

99 thoughts on “Greggs

  1. Woke cunts. Giving in my opinion a totally untalented heap of black excrement free stuff.

      • It isn’t that rich. The record company pays for everything.

        Maybe worth a couple hundred K. The rest of it is owed to the record company and HMRC.

        Its just too stupid to count past 20.

        Come back to me when it has an Amex black card.

        Which will be never.

    • “Grime. Awful taste. Felt sick. Made my ears bleed.”
      This was my Tripadvisor review for Greggs.

  2. Greggs is a bricks and mortar retail sector success story, probably because it appeals to the demographic that uses bookies, charity shops and tanning parlours. I’m surprised it feels the need to jump on the woke bandwagon and I, for one, will no longer buy their greasy products (I rarely did).

    Stormzy is another shit poor role model for the genuinely nice black people (they exist) who are trying to make their way in life. It will be a great day when the black community actually stood up and said Stormzy and his like don’t represent us. Sadly, Stormzy is now a genuine, card-carrying cunt.

    • Their coffee eclair buns were decent.
      For a few months, then they stopped doing them. Cunts.
      I wonder if Greta Thunderbox fantasises about being culturally enriched by the pig-shit thick twat Stormzy…

      • What we desperately need Sgt Maj is a ‘Lawrence Fox moment’ for black people. For one to stand up and say ‘you don’t represent me’. For some black celebrity to stand up. I’d like to hear one say-‘hey brothers we’re being ‘played’ here. The wokes are ‘playing us’. Something like that.

  3. They say you can tell a lot about a man by the company he keeps. If the same is true of companies, then what a festering heap of shit Greggs must be. Never use them myself and Mrs. Boggs buys the bread at the supermarket.

    • Greggs are my least favourite bakery.
      Dont do pies! A bakery that doesnt do pies?
      And the stuff they do do, pure shite.
      Now theyre courting stormzy and pandering to vegans.
      Boycott them, go elsewhere.

      • Never been there, and this sort of pandering to a racist black bastard (spot the irony) doesn’t exactly lure me in.

      • love them two words (black bastard) , always thought there was a poetic aspect to it , it just glides off the tongue so easily and so freely .

      • I think it’s the alliteration that does it. He can have no complaints about being called out as he’s the one that brings colour into everything he says and he is, without a shadow of doubt, a bastard. Anybody who can talk about inequality for blacks while sitting on millions of £’s is a cunt of epic proportions.

      • Yep Moggie totally agree , he uses his status and fame to bang on about racism when it’s people like him that cause it. There is no one more racist than the blacks right now.

    • Bad news WCB Tesco are closing down their 58 in store bakeries. I like their speciality breads and the special offers they do at about 7 in the evening.

    • Got caught out with no bread whilst driving the truck,i carry my own food for the week. Popped into a Greggs on a trading estate,we don’t sell bread said Miss Sleeve Tattoos,but you’re a bakery right? I bought a pack of Pitta bread in the garage,better,cheaper etc. Greggs opened in Devon/Cornwall then quietly closed,they know about Pasties in Cornwall,but because Greggs are Cunts they didn’t get it.Don’t eat their shit,it’s as bad as McCunty food.

  4. I would rather them give it to Ian Huntley than that wanker Stormzy , i hate that bastard with a passion and hope he chokes to death on a pasty.
    Wonder if Mcdonalds will follow suit and do a black card for Diane Abbott so she can stuff her fat face with as many burgers as she can fit in. Fucking disgrace this is and yet that Rachel Boyle had the cheek to bang on about white privilege.

    • Yeah that would be more her thing i reckon KFC , Kentucky fried cunt . The racism against the whites is more and more blatant for everyone to see and no ones does fuck all about it.

      • Would you have done the same if it had been a nubile and revealingly-clad white hottie without the kids?

        Neither would I.

  5. Perhaps Greggs think that this will attract “de commuunniddeeee” to shop there. Until they start baking a fried-chiggun slice or perhaps a rice n’peas pasty (for the Vegan Dark-Key),I can’t really see it happening.

    • I like some of Gregg’s stuff. Their sausage rolls are good and seem to make excellent baby/toddler food judging by the amount of fat,tanned Munters you see stuffing them towards their ratty-looking brats while also smoking a tab and updating Facebook.

      Bravo,Greggs, providing cheap,convenient, nutritious food for the busy, do-nowt,child-benefit scrounging,flabby “babee-mommaa” in a rush to get home for Jeremy Kyle.

      • Sausage rolls you want is it Fiddler?…co-op.
        Theirs are freshly baked each morning, brown paper bag with about 5-6 in for shy of 2quid.
        Best ive ever had!
        Get them in a morning still warm from the oven.

      • Best sausage rolls that I get come from a butcher 30 odd miles away (the same as the closest Greggs)…black pudding/sausage mix.

        Our “local” coop doesn’t do baked stuff…too small,and is a fucking rip-off. Things cost twice what they do in a coop in town.

      • our local butcher does very good sausage rolls, you can tell it is from the butcher because they haven’t got the hang of pastry.
        Best described as a scantily dressed pig, a Friend who is a rugby coach shit out on a whole one, almost like the shredded wheat advert you have difficulty eating a whole one.

      • A Greggs dummy or a Pastyfier. Used by chav single mum’s to shut their brats up not long after receiving their benefits. Stormzy deserves this black card. I think it’s quite befitting. I hope he uses it and chokes to death on some of the crap they serve up.

  6. I’ve just sent them an email now the wankers , i called them a bunch of treacherous racists and hope they go bankrupt .

    • Same same T, when they get 100,000 emails telling them they are being boycotted they might wake up.
      Little willie windy does not need free food given his Diane Abbott impression as he was waddling to vote for comrade compo!
      Do Greggs do fried chiggun? Free dinghy and list of every local schools location with every vegan purchase? Free pink Owen Jones microphone?
      “Bury them on my farm”
      “That way they will do no harm”.
      Oooh – awful I am!

  7. All the same. It would be funny as fuck if he walked into a Greggs, got the entire stock with his “black card” and gave it all away to the homeless…….

  8. Surely this fucking tosser is now going to highlite the fact that its a blackcard hes been given and not a colourless card….fucking wanker and devina mc callwill do absolutely anything to get on the telly, i hope they both shit themselves inside out, cuz usually thats what Greggs does to me…..innit

  9. I wouldn’t mind but a stormzy is really shit, HipHop is going on 40 years old, Stormzy’s efforts are some of the worst heard from 40 years.

    Fuck Greggs, they are desperate for the woke and the stabbie.

    • I sometimes (very rarely now) put his music on you tube to reinstall the fact how much i hate him and how shite and wank his music is. I notice he uses all black’s in most of his videos and yet he calls us racist, fucking hate him .

  10. Dick’s dementia is worse than ever. Jeremy Kyle is not on anymore…..

    • Did they close it down after your notorious appearance on the ” Justin Beiber would get it right up the bumhole” episode? I thought at the time taking the mannequin as a “visual aid” might be a mistake..and as for when those poor hamsters were fed up the tube..well of course there was going to be a bit of an outcry.


      • They arse licked the vegans with the vegan sausage roll, why not do a grime pasty for the black youth?
        Small blade in every mouthful?
        Crack flavoured with a sense of oppression baked in.

      • Morning MNC
        You must have read my mind as i was gonna put a very similar thing about the pasty and knives but i was to busy sending Gregg’s an email slagging them off.

      • Morning mate,
        Great minds think alike..
        Wonder if stormzy treats the family to a Greggs?
        All sat excitedly in the trees munching pasties..

  11. I wonder if Greggs will now give Tommy Robinson a similar card?

    No, thought not.

    I will drop them an email to tell them what I think if their novel idea.


    • Yeah Paul send them an email to ask them to give Tommy Robinson one that’s white with a red cross on it.

  12. This could be the ultimate backdoor final solution.
    Free unhealthy food stuffs, so we get the DHS in Scotland to dish out a whiskey, Tobacco and fried mars bar ration.
    DHS England, well they can do chicken and chips with strong brew.
    Wales? not sure what they are in to, free solvents perhaps? Ulster is easy a weekly munitions ration.
    I will write to my local MP immediately.

  13. I would never “gift”or “give” to any Dark Key. Greggs are stupid cunts. Geordies ( real Geordies ) prefer “Dickmans” Greggs? Fuck right off…..Dark key food

    • Not a fuckin chance in hell im going in any food establishment called ‘Dickmans’ !
      And definitely not eaten their sausage rolls.

  14. Dunno about this Greggs shop, but just for affiliating itself with Cuntzy, it merits this cunting. As for mass produced pies/pastries? Get to fuck with that shit; fresh made and cooked is the only pie for me. Our local pie shop, Muzzas Pies in Howick (Muzza being his name, not denoting him as a goat botherer) are fucking superb! Crisp pastry, proper meat in the filling. Costs more than the supermarket dross but well worth the extra couple of dollars.

    • I used to stay at a motel next to the Golf Course in Howick when I used to go to the Kawakawa Bay Explosives Plant and I have had a pie from Muzzas and can agree they are superb. As good as anything on our side of the ditch ( Mrs Macs for one )
      Antipodean pies are the best in the world and the northern hemisphere culinary heathens on this site wouldn’t know a decent dogs eye if it bit em on the arse!
      By the way KC, I am surprised Muzza is still in business as Howick was renamed Chowick a while ago. Didn’t know our dog eating cousins were partial to a pie….er hang on, what’s Muzza putting in them these days?

      • Haha Grumpy, I haven’t heard it called “Chowick” for quite a while. The surrounding suburbs (Botany Downs, Meadowlands etc) are as Chinky-fied as you’ll find anywhere, but Howick itself is pretty much Kiwi/white European. It still has a thriving high street despite the best efforts of the cunts that own Westfield shitty mega malls.

  15. I have always boycotted Gregg’s because I have never felt the faintest desire to go there.
    Rest assured, I will continue to do so.

  16. Greggs are on a safe bet. As far as I know, they don’t sell fried chicken, collard greens of water melon. Can’t see Stormzy, shopping there.

    • The anti social racist doesn’t need free fucking food for life he’s rich innit. Anyway how does he know he won’t get a few ‘extras’ in his handmade-by-a-whitey bbq chicken toastie while he waits? Here’s hoping!

      This is just a publicity opportunity for Greggs to try and make them look friendly to ‘bruvs wiv shanks’ IMO. Fucking brown nosers, the cunt can order Greggs whenever and wherever he wants for up to five people. I hope he really takes the piss and keeps ordering for his mates and family. The message in his gift wrapped box said “Get those big size 12s on your feet. We’ll do the rest.” Hang on, what about a white version of the card for nice Mr Yaxley Lennon?

      Nah, thought not. Cunts.

  17. What kind of idiot would eat at this skanky fast-food chain anyway? The same shit-birds who think over oversalted baby grub and greasy faeces is food. Dead before fifty. Death by Greggs.

    • Greggs was designed to keep weighty girls and humans separate – and now little willie windy will start calling them waycist because they don’t sell fried chiggun with a side order of stabby dessert.
      I am sure every homeless rough sleeping military veteran or some poor desperate f*cker with kids they can’t afford to feed will appreciate the amusing irony of this one.

  18. Hopefully the cunt will gorge himself on free pasties, pile on the pounds and have a massive heart attack. What a result that would be.

    • Little windy willie is waaay in front of you on that one DLP!
      Waddling to vote for smelly Jeremy, too much fried chiggun and weed, get some exercise done Stormzy – you will need to be fit to escape the shortly appearing baying mob!
      “Me hidin’ in da Greggs innit!

    • That would be fantastic. Especially if it happened during his set. No one would be able to differentiate between the noises he would make during the heart attack and the din he omits during his act. You can just picture the medics giving a press conference after the autopsy :-“Grime star Stormzy suffered a massive coronary, due to an overwhelming amount of grime clogging up his arteries… “

  19. Gregg’s used to be OK when they made nice BLT sandwiches. They now make pizza slices. What baker makes pizza slices? In Glasgow one of the female staff looks like a seagull, another like Esme Cannon with palsy and all the male staff are gay.

    I wonder if Stormzy will let his numerous relatives borrow his Gregg’s card because they all look the same?

  20. Greggs boss has just been on the radio fulminating about “record profits” and and a string of other business related achievements. Said Stormzy black card was done purely for publicity purposes and has worked beyond expectations….

    The business of Business is business.

  21. Isn’t it about time that food was made to match? Just imagine. Black pastry,black bread, and a specially made Greggs Black Sausage Roll !

  22. This is fucking Waycist!!!! A ” Black Card ” ha ha ha ha. Maybe they can give Bruce Lee a yellow card.

    I hate Stormzy and Dave the Rapper.

    Nearly everything sold in Gregs is bad for you, terrible nutritional value, unhealthy. It would be hilarious if they Gregs had their worst financial performance ever. I bet millions of their customers also have Stormzy and Dave the Rapper.

    They might be “woke” in this act – fucking bullshit. But their product line is arseholes literally, arseholes wrapped in fatty pastry.

    I go there occasionally and have the “tuna crunch baguette” but after this Stormzy news I am going to avoid the fucking cunting woke bastard bakery place!!!

    • I think this is a splendid idea. Every immigrant should be handed a black card as soon as they’re fished out of the channel and brought to dry land. It would be accepted for any kind of goods or services throughout the UK, totally gratis. We’re going to give it to them anyway, and just think of the money we’ll save, not having to employ extra staff at benefits offices.

  23. Thanks for the link message sent. Should be getting a knock on the door from “da feds “ shortly 🤔

  24. Tell you what let’s give some useless cunt who doesn’t need free food free food for life. Are Greggs hoping to tap into a new market of hip-hop, rapper, grime street rude boys?

    “Yeh man, me like de sausage roll ‘an ting, make me look like a rude boy, me sausage roll look like a spliff, init… Now give me your money before I stab you up”


  25. Right that tears it,Gregg’s can stick their pink jammies up their arse from now on.I shopping there again.
    This cunt is a racist ,white hating turd(right colour)so Gregg’s are out their fucking minds doing this.

    Total cunts

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