The Super Bowl Halftime Show

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The Super Bowl with Shakira and Jennifer Lopez…

I deserve a good slap in the face and a poke in the eye after succumbing to the marketing hype and wasting almost two hours watching this tripe, before switching off.

The highlight was not the inexplicable game, where you can´t actually see the ball most of the time as dozens of players whizz around in their gaudy gladiator outfits, but the appearance of super-celebs, Shakira and Jennifer Lopez during the 13-minute interval.

They “sang” and “danced” – 50-year-old Jennifer looking particularly embarrassing in a leather outfit aloft a pole – in celebration of Latin “culture”. Just to drive the message home, a bunch of Latin kids sang “Born in the USA”. I hope The Donald got the message and will now open the gates to the floodgates of talent from South of the border.

These caring, sharing moms each received US$13 million for their act, i.e. US$1 million a minute. No wonder the cheapest seat at the stadium cost US$7,000.

Nominated by Mr Polly

113 thoughts on “The Super Bowl Halftime Show”

  1. I’m going to petition for a half-time sex show during the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy final.

  2. I wonder how much of their respective $13m went to Latino good causes?

    Be careful the tumbleweed doesn’t hit you, you two-faced cunts!

  3. The organisers clearly have more money than sense. I would’ve come and played my banjo for half that amount.

  4. Sorry Mr Polly but anyone stupid enough to watch this shitefest excuse for ‘sport’ not only deserves what they got but also needs to be put in the village stocks for the weekend. How can anyone enjoy watching and following a sport which starts at around 2am and goes on for over three hours. Especially when a third of that is adverts and the ball is only in play for 11 (yeah, eleven) minutes. Get your head tested Mr Polly and anyone on here that professes to enjoy this utter fucking diarrhoea will hopefully get the Corona virus and die.
    Fat American and American loving CUNTS.

  6. Yo.
    Superbowl! World series!
    Hey Randy, wanna chilli dog?
    Dude!
    Fuck me mr Polly, this shites for the septics only!
    They love their game of rounders!
    Nuttin to see here take a walk mack.

  7. Seven thousand dollars to watch some cunts dressed as Power Rangers playing catch, utter wank….

  8. Put these Yankeedoodle meatheads on the pitch at Wigan or Cardiff without their body armour and they would shit themselves.
    And as for the tired, lipsyncd shite at half time (half time? I thought they had advert breaks every 5 minutes) Stick it up your arse.

  9. Phwoar Shakira and J-lo…I don’t know who I’d give a tonguing if I had to pick.
    Dunno if they are worth a $1million a minute but I’d pay either one 500 paaaahnd for an hour.
    Phwoar, phwoar.
    Go fuck yourselves.

    • I bet you would forget all abhaaat your broken toe if they gave you a booty call B&W. For the record probably J-Lo, she markets herself as ‘Jenny from the block’ – been around the block more like, must have picked up lots of experience.

      • Haha, yeah she’s definitely been around and up and down the block LL, still looks good for 50 odd though.

  10. I have to disagree about J-Lo. She looks fucking amazing (fucking being the appropriate word). Ok – I’m over 70 , so what?

  11. The longer I’ve lived in America, the more uninterested I have become in their so-called sports. A few years ago I would have summoned up the energy to acquire a few snacks and brews and settled down to watch this shitfest. Not anymore. A few years ago, the ads were the only real entertainment but the last time I watched a Supercunt Bowl, even they were crap. The half time so-called ‘entertainment’ has been wank for a long, long time now.

    Professional Yank sports are either so plastic or so dull that it beggars belief anyone can be bothered with it. Let’s go down the list, just for a laugh:

    American Football:
    Due to the great distances involves, 99% of the crowd is partisan. Where’s the fun in that? A game played in bursts of 10 seconds at a time, followed by 5 minutes of standing around chatting with your mates. Why do some of these players need to be that ripped to play for 10 seconds at a time over a season that lasts about a month? Some of the players are huge fat cunts though. If they all were, then at least this stupid game would have some comedy value.

    Basketball:
    Mostly played by tall black freaks who are so good at it, the game is basically team A – bounce, bounce, pass, bounce, 3 points. Then team B – bounce, bounce, pass, bounce, 3 points. Over and over again, resulting in scores like 178 vs 176. If football involved the players scoring a goal with virtually every touch of the ball, it would be incredibly boring. Just like basketball is.

    Baseball:
    I get that being able to throw a ball accurately at close to 100 mph takes great skill, practice and training, but the best players at this simply reduce this overly long game to a couple of guys playing catch. I’ll concede that hitters standing in the way of a 100 mph pitch are brave (or stupid) but when they do hit a ball it always seems more luck than judgement. Maybe I’m doing them a disservice, but baseball is one game where you could take a nap after the first innings, wake up in the 9th and would not have missed much.

    Nascar:
    FFS, who watches this crap? All the cars are identical so engineering innovation or clever design are out the window. All the tracks are oval, so each ‘race’ is basically foot to the floor, turn left, turn left, turn left, turn left…..repeat for a couple of hours. The end. I’ve asked Nascar fans why they watch this bullshit and a common answer is “for the crashes”. Yep, that’s the mentality who enjoy this bore fest. I think F1 is boring too, but at least all the tracks are different, so are the cars and there’s some tactics involved. Allegedly.

    I think the Supercunt Bowl half time so-called entertainment is only there to justify the price of a ticket and to take your mind off how bored you are. No wonder they sell beer in the stands. American pro sports can all fuck off.

    • Great cunting Imitation.
      I’d add ice hockey in there too. Although quite amusing in the days when punch-ups were de rigeuer. Sadly that’s no longer available.

      • You are quite right Isaac. I forgot about ice hockey. The Yanks just call it hockey, like real hockey played outside on grass by lesbians with sticks isn’t a thing.

        I just asked Mrs. Yank and she says Yanks call proper hockey “field hockey”. So I asked her why they don’t call hockey “ice rink hockey”. I got ‘that’ look.

        We got free tickets to see a pro ice hockey game one time, years ago. Neither of us could figure out what the fuck was going on. Unless you know the rules, it’s a tricky game to figure out just by watching it. We left after about about 40 minutes. We’d had enough.

  12. A monkey !!! For an hour ? You can have the missus for that, and you can keep her.
    I’ll give Hermes a ring.
    If the authorities should ever come snooping, and making enquiries about her whereabouts, nark it, tell them you know naaafink abaaaaht it.
    Just a word of warning, she may be a bit skittish if you start taking liberties with her arsehole, but if you give her plenty of red wine and watch out for the right hook, you should be ok.
    Please make payment in used notes, no Bullseye’s.
    Thanks pal.

  13. At least they got a couple of (admittedly old) women to do a turn. We’d probably be expected to stand and applaud while Cliff Richard bummed Dame Elton over his piano stool.

      • I’m hosting one of my exclusive dinner parties,LL. An invitation from me is,of course,considered an acceptance into the very highest echelons of Northumbrian Society.
        I expect that we’ll enjoy a fine meal,vintage wines and scintillating witty repartee before we men retire to my billiards room to smoke a Cuban cigar and wrestle with the weighty problems facing the Aristocracy in today’s envious world…..either that or I’ll share a couple of Fray Bentos tinned-pies and a few nips of Bushmills with the Hounds before alternating between coming on this site and moaning like an Old Cunt or wanking like a safari-park chimp to Pornhub.

        Hmmmm…I wonder which it’ll be?

      • Apologies IY…..I called you LL…an unforgivable lapse but not as insulting as calling you “Miserable Northern Cunt” I suppose.

      • Im deeply wounded by that Dick, but im rising above it, turning the other cheek,
        Mrs Thornberry please pass the me a hanky i have something in my eye…

      • Haha! Yes, that would have been offensive since I’m from the best county in the land, East Sussex. 😁

        How does one get on the guest list to rub shoulders with the highest echelons of Northumbrian Society?

  14. Emily Thornberry is available for next years Super Bowl show, she’s also available for sennett fetes and shop openings. Car park attendant role also considered in off season.

    Fuck you Emily you fucking loser!

  15. The game is only sixth minutes but the breaks mean it can take three fucking hours.
    Fuck it.

  16. Wound to the ego eh Emily?
    Never realised you were despised by your own team as well as the rest of the country did you?
    That bloke with the white van an st George’s flags?
    Shouldnt of taken the piss, seen as sneering at working people.
    Luckily you fat sack of shite your filthy rich, otherwise youd be doing a restart interview down the dole come Tuesday.
    Get yourself a stiff drink numbs the pain, let the tears flow,
    Its healing!😁
    But you knew that right?
    Know everything people like you dont you?👆

    • Bet nobody’s got her, jesus!
      Shes the bird whos a bit mad isnt she?
      She smashed a lamp over her boyfriends head while he was asleep?

      • Never heard of her before 20 minutes ago.

        The way cunts on the MSM are going on you’d have thought the Markle slag had been found dead!

      • Heard the name but not sure who she was.
        She was pretty horny!
        Makes me more sympathetic,
        Feel sorry for her, im willing to conduct the autopsy?!!!

        Sorry to soon?

      • I had heard of her because I’m of that generation (no, I DO NOT watch Love Island but some of my peers and family members do) so it’s a little more shocking to me. Feel for her family but the fact that she was about to stand trial makes me less sympathetic towards her.

      • It is unusual for good-looking slebs to off themselves in the prime of life. Plus it’s a Saturday. Hopefully it’ll catch on as a trend and the other syphilis-riddled cunts on that show will start doing the same.

    • Attention-seeking bint just topped herself. I’ll give her credit it often takes one or two attempts before going all the way, kudos.

    • Tinterweb trolls being blamed for the angry cunt topping herself
      I hope they turn their attention to jug eared tax dodger Linekunt and get him to do the right thing, the fucking Cunt he’s fuck all else

    • I heard she wrote a srlf-help book after losing her Chav Island job. I dont imagine it will sell.

  19. Words fail me Mr Polly… did Dr Cameron force you to watch that dross at gunpoint?

    • Janet was quite taken by Jennifer – “much better than watching Dr Finlay tossing his caber”, she said – and has now signed up for pole dancing lessons at the Tannochbrae fitness centre. Dr Snoddie has agreed to pay a few bawbees towards the cost, providing he can take some foties with his Brownie.

  20. When my daughter and son-in-law were living in Texas, I made a great effort to understand American ‘football’ to help me to socialise when in the bar. It’s absolutely fucking incomprehensible. I seem to remember this one time watching the kick-off and after the ball went out of play, the teams trooped off to be replaced by two further sets of players. A team just for the opening play? Fucking mental.

    • The colonies are a queer place. When the spics take over they’ll hopefully introduce more sensible pastimes like that one where you whack the horse and sweets fall out.

    • Evening Ron,
      Wonder how those yank ‘football players’ would do at rugby?
      Similarities in the games, but yanks wear helmets & body armour,
      Theyd shit it playing without that stuff you reckon?

      • Aye up Miserable.
        Funnily enough there’s a fair bit of interest in r.u. in the States according to my son-in-law (massive union fan). He tells me that oddly enough, the Septics took the gold at the 1920 and 24 Olympics in the sport. He says that there’s a growing interest on the part of the U.S. to stage a world cup, possibly as early as 2027. He knew some real enthusiasts when he was teaching at University of Texas Medical Branch, who maintained a real contempt for the padded primadonnas of American football apparently.

  21. Funnier still when these so called “athletes” lumber forward for a yard or two, then fuck off to the sidelines and sit down for half hour….while wearing an oxygen mask.
    All that training and dedication really paid off didn’t it, you fat, shoulder pad wearing pansies.

  22. I hope that moaning old Cunt who is stuck on that Corona infected cruise ship sinks soon…sick of the whinging Wanker…he’s calling on Richard Fucking-Branson to rescue him now.

    • ‘Calling all cunts, calling cunts. Cunt #1 to cunt #2, can you me hear me? Immediate evac from cruise ship cunt central…’

  23. Shakira , yep I would,
    American football (lol) is a shown more than a game, the Americans love a show!

    I went to a game back in the 90’s it’s great, the men sit and watch and the women run to the bar for drinks and snacks. What’s not to like 😂

  24. My Chinese flatmate just came flying in through the front door in a right panic and asked, “Have you seen my cocaine..?”
    I said, “Last time was probably in The Italian Job”….

  25. As it stands in the football:
    Norwich City 0 Liverpool 0 Storm Dennis Dennis 1

    • They reckon trolls were responsible. I sincerely hope it was no one from this site!

      • I think this will increase ‘mental elf ishoos’ and warnings to seek help tenfold from the pandering limp dicked shit show it already is.

      • I say, scrap all these tv reality shows. I wouldn’t have a fuckin’ clue what this Love Island thing is all about.

      • Its actually a bevy of spray tanned young ladies marooned on a small island in the middle of Fiddlers carp lake.

      • Well flacker’s used to host love island as to which the missus watches and i totally hate . They said they have cancelled the LI episode because of her death , well as the saying goes , every cloud……….

      • Suicide is the leading cause of death amongst young men in this country, but when a pretty woman does it it becomes something we all suddenly need to be more aware of. Funny that.

    • Iv’e just seen on the news and my first point of call was to come straight on here to say the same think😄

    • No no one had her in the Deadpool or Suicide squad.As often with hindsight it was predictable

      • Two contestants also offed themselves.
        I was thinking that god-awful bilge like this should be banned from the air for ever, but on second thoughts, perhaps the ISAC Equity Squadron should go round “places of edoocashun,” and branches of Starbucks and Pret-a-Manger recruiting likely “future events of Faceache and Twatter interest”…
        That’ll learn them.

  27. Super Bowl??? A giant receptacle for Diane’s cereal or ample helpings of whatever the fuck she can wolf down her massive cave, perchance?

    Don’t pay attention to any North American sports at all cos, as some of you have pointed out, they are fucking terrible spectacles. A bunch of delirious, ripped-as-fuck tossers darting around aimlessly, only for the game to be stopped every 30 seconds and subsequently followed by a lengthy break in play which seems to last a fucking lifetime, and so the cycle repeats; their sports games just seem like all hype and no actual substance (a bit like the USA and most of its natives, funnily enough) and rarely ever get going, completely bereft of any fluency, skill or entertainment. Give me football, golf, tennis, snooker or darts anytime!

    As regards these two burritos, apparently they don’t actually get paid for performing at the Super Bowl, but their expenses are paid and the exhorbitant costs of the stage show (amounting to tens of millions of dollars), not to mention the exposure it gives the artists for playing live at such a prestigious event.

    Anticlimactic cuntery!

  29. I remember when Paula Yates snuffed it and a copper making a statement outside her house, reported that they had found traces of Marijuana, Amphetamines and Angel Dust…but as yet no sign of her other daughter….

    • Well lets be honest any fucker who had to put up with that cunt Geldof there’s no fucking wonder . Someone should tell the twat next time he is spouting bollocks , ” look Bob for full of shit no one want’s to here you fucking moaning . ” in fact your such a cunt even your wife and kid killed themselves to get away from you “.

  30. Super Bowl, Hollywood Bowl, The ‘Dust Bowl’ of the 30s. What’s all this Bowl stuff? Is it to do that they feel they live in a bowl or something? Like a goldfish bowl? The ‘panhandle’ as well. Have they got a thing about kitchen utensils? It is a ‘meltng pot’ as we know.

    • The rose bowl parade too whatever that is?
      Evening Miles, saw you nom,
      ‘Hylas and the nymphs’ is a great painting!👍
      Was in pontefract yesterday, forgot to buy pontefract cakes though😣
      You well?

      • I’f you want Pontefract cakes MNC go to the Haribo sweet factory they have a factory shop there . That was the original factory for those cakes and it used to be called Dunhill’s until some foreign make bought them out ,CUNTS .

      • Saw the Haribo factory Telly.
        The pontefract cakes would of been for my mum, im not a fan of liquorice.
        People seemed friendly enough,
        Heavy rain and strong winds coming back over Rishworth moor though!
        My arse was going 5p, 50p,
        Storm Dennis flexing his muscles!

      • You’ll be sound in Ponte MNC and i hope you settle in ok , well gotta take the dogs out now in all this rain and wind . It doesn’t bother me none as it reminds me of yomping over the brecon beacons , it’s just drying and washing all the filth of the dogs lol.

      • Not moved there Telly!
        Moving someone else there, im a removalman.
        Id miss the peak district and wandering on kinder Scout with the akita to much to live anywhere else.

      • Oh right sorry i thought you was moving there 😃 , yeah i’d be inclined to prefer the peak district as well .

      • Yes the ‘rose bowl’ parade as well. I knew there was another famous bowl at the back of my mind.

        I am well Miserable. Had a little break- neglecting Mrs Plastic a bit. Got to be careful spending too much time on here-it’s a bit addictive for me Isac

        The Nom. It was their laughing that got me-it absolutely encapsulated how sunk in wrong-headed thinking these academic ‘experts’ are.

    • And wasn’t University Challenge originally called College Bowl Tournament or something similar?

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