Cunt Customers

I would like to nominate cunt customers.

There’s about 101 shit TV programmes about bad builders, usually fronted by that cunt Nick fucking Knowles. What there is a massive lack of is fucking terrible customers tv progs.

I’ve been in construction for thirty years and learned a lot from the older blokes who passed more than knowledge of laying a brick, in regards to fucking bad payers. I’ve watched a few of these fucking dire productions, and the majority of the clients are transparent as fuck.

They had an idea (because some cunt at work had it done and it looks lovely) so they want it done. They couldn’t afford it in the first place, but still want someone to turn up, give them a reasonable quote, start on Monday and expect the contractor to pay for all the materials. Then when the contractor asks for the agreed interim payment, they act like they’ve been asked a question in fucking Russian. Why these people on this shit TV are left in the shit is because they didn’t pay the bill. And Nick Knowles should be hung for his part in this farce.

Sometimes customers can be utter fucking….CUNTS.

Nominated by Candygram for mongo

53 thoughts on “Cunt Customers

  1. I totally agree. I work in corporate insolvency and see loads of construction companies going to the wall because of late/no payments. A lot of this is company to company as well as private individuals. Cunts who don’t/won’t pay are an utter disgrace.

  2. Someone I know did some work on Tony Blair’s old house in Islington back in the late 80s. At this point the man was fuck all. Cherie was a barrister and he was just working for Hackney Council, so she was the main breadwinner. They wanted a new roof with new side gutters and a drain pipe, so the man quoted them £800 – half up front and half on completion. They paid the £400 up front, and then after the job was completed he asked for the rest and Cherie just said to him “Get a lawyer!” No one likes a ponce!
    And I know some of you on here did it, but I NEVER voted for Tony Blair. I always knew he was a fraud.

    • I never voted for Miranda either – such an oily cunt from day one of his leadership let alone his premiership. Far too good to be true, and he looked like a product of the Rank smarm school (and he wore even more makeup than the Rank starlets).

      Nick Noles is a cunt but even worse IMO is the little wannabe policeman Dominic Littlewood like a washing powder trying to force out hidden dirt, while giving the impression of blokey purity. Horrible little worm. He is the king (or queen) of bargain basement daytime TV

    • He should have smashed a few massive holes in the roof when the ugly cunt didn’t pay the balance. I know a painter who repainted the outside of someone’s house. They refused to pay so he burnt the fucking lot off. Ok he didn’t get his money but he got some satisfaction.

      • I kidnapped a p@ki DLP. No shit.
        When I first started for myself in removals, my dad was in christies, bone marrow cancer, that an newly self employed, under a lot of stress.
        Dont work for peacefuls now know better anyway did this job for one, massive job, moving to posh part of cheshire, and he tried to fuck with me over price, his nephew was there about 20yr old, this guy said hed meet me at a cash point to pay me,
        And I knew if he shot off id never get my money be chasing him in court etc
        So I snapped, got his nephew and said “get in the van’ he said ‘im going with uncle..
        “Get in that fuckin van!”
        Told the lad who worked for me not to let him out and locked him in.
        When the p@ki came out looking for his nephew i told him hed get him back when i got paid.
        I got paid.
        The nephew was nearly white when i let him out the van.
        But i was that angry im not sure how far id of gone?!
        Stress is a kiler.

  3. Nick Knowles (ol’ Fucking Big’ead) is a gigantic cunting all in himself. Can’t stand the wanker. When you watch these programmes, you do wonder how these cunts get in such a fucking mess.

    I recall watchng one such program when the daft couple had engaged some Indian or Pakistani builders. Now there’s a warning sign straight away. Secondhand, badly laid Celcon blocks with the old plaster and paint left on them. I have heard of being green, but this was taking the piss. Inevitably, it ended up with the crafty Asian builders trousering a shitload of cash and fucking off leaving a half (badly) built extension that needed pulling down and starting from stratch.

    Customers are cunts, but from my own experience the number of good chippies, bricklayers and plasterers are very few. My chippy is the best – a real perfectionist and his work has been signed off by building control every time without any snags. I am a good customer – I pay at the end of each working day in cash and I tipped my chippy £100 at Christmas as he had gone out of his way to complete a first rate job. Luckily, being a Civil Engineer with resi building experience, I know if things are wrong or right.

    Look after your good contractors and hopefully they wll look after you. Fuck the rubbish ones off to work for the housebuilders. Dooshka dooshka.

    • Nice nom Mongo!
      Yeah most customers are ok, some great, just the odd snidey one that ruins your week.
      I try and give a professional service and be relaxed and friendly but wont let anyone take the piss, customers included, im my own boss so whats the point of allowing that shite?
      Dont work for anyone with a peaceful accent or um bongos,
      That narrows it down, so rare i get a knobhead but occasionally do,
      Gotta be firm, im out to feed my family no time to indulge some daft cunt who thinks theyre getting discounts.

      • I always whack in a big price if I don’t like a customer then it’s up to them if they accept it, knowing I’ve had their trousers down because they are a cunt gets me through the job. Always do quality work, and to a top, tidy standard and always look after the elderly. Always steer clear of rag-heads and foreigners. My lad and I often go to big houses where it’s too much to put the kettle on. My toilet habits are clockwork and I never need to go on site. My lad on the other hand normally has to go a couple of times a day so after he has pebble-dashed an immaculate pan always asks on the way out if their kettle is on the blink. Never fails to get us a cuppa. I had a right bitch last Xmas who wanted a refund for some labour, as she got some cunt to finish off after I had done all the hard work. I was fucking raging, but decided to drop off the said amount and post it through her door. £65 wiped across my arse on every note on the way there and stuffed into an envelope cheered me right up. You treat people like you want to be treated yourself and most of my clients are spot on. My lad does help me sometimes if my cunt radar is playing up and I miss something but normally we are in agreement if someone is a cunt or not. Always the wealthy ones who are shit at coughing up on time. Never not been paid as I always joke that I know where they live.

    • I have a “Civil engineer” as a client, he has built his own house.
      The timber frame overlaps the slab by 2″ on one side.
      The DPC is on the slab, he intends to tile directly on to the slab.
      The chimney is wood lined.
      The internal walls are not tied into the external walls
      He is using standard celcon blocks (just stacked on top of each other) as pillars to support lintels.
      The joist hangers are held in with 4 screws (it is a 2 storey building)
      The roof of the building is 8″ wider than the slab (the building is spreading because it is not tied in on any floors)
      Its the only place where I have seen expanding foam used as a packer.
      He has not had building control in at any of the stages of construction plus he has illegally built and completed summer/ out houses on the grounds without planning.
      All his rainwater is connected to the foul sewer.

      I am expecting the council to turn up with a bulldozer and knock the place down.
      His workforce were of a dubious nature to say the least, but as someone who allegedly designs and maintains our infrastructure I was shocked at the build.

      • I’d report it to whoever is the interested parties. I’ll kill someone one day.

      • I am going to keep well out of that one, the guy was knocked for the price of his first timber frame, the second company refused to guarantee their frame because they had not laid the slab, He lost a lot of money and his job during the first phases.
        He is running out of money and I hate to say it but it wouldn’t surprise me if he topped himself over this, he is about to loose almost half a million easy.
        So as I say I am staying well out of it I don’t want that on my head.

      • It would never pass Building Control. Assuming the daft cunt has applied for it.

        I am a qualified, Chartered Civil Engineer with 30 year’s experience, but I know some cunts call themselves ‘Civil Engineers’ with just a cycling proficiency test certificate and a 10 yards swimming ribbon as qualification. Cunts.

      • Send Hilary Benn and Dominic Grieve there during the election canvassing, and if they would like to take along Dame Keir and Amber Rudd for company…….

      • Sounds like a total disaster. I have a higher degree in Civil Engineering, but the area I researched was extremely narrow, and little wider knowledge of the field was required. I would never go near a building project, or be asked to. I imagine this could be your friend’s position.

      • Not my friend, a client, It was supposed to be a build like “grand designs” a cement board and polystyrene clad timber frame, amazing U value, but has turned into a pile of shit from the ground up.

      • Building Regs’ these days are just another way of enforcing government energy policy, when I started out they comprised of a single paper back publication by the HMSO nowadays you need a whole shelf to house all the documents, they don’t address the main problem at all ”the standard of workmanship” which some customers if they recognize the fact should have every right to complain, tardy or withholding payment is a separate issue and unfortunately legal redress will put you even more out of pocket, and as such those customers are cunts and more

  4. I did a repossession on a Lawyer, The cunt hired a load of stuff from me, signed a contract and then decided to Quibble prices ” I can get it for such at such and such a place”.
    After the first two conversations I put my foot down stated breech of contract, said that our relationship had irrefutably broken down and that I was refunding all costs and repossessing all equipment from him (as is my legal right).
    Went down there myself and had the builder pass all the equipment over fence (the client refused to let me on his property).
    Then blacklisted the cunt with his intended next supplier who is some 25 miles away.

  5. Apologies, Admin, but there is a tenuous connection with cunt customers, and the picture deserves a wider audience.
    Cunt customers of the exclusive Pier 88 restaurant in Egypt last month.
    The one on the left looks familiar, probably because it is Tony Blair. In fact, it is.
    Even his hair is rejecting him.

    No apologies required! Fuck me, state of those three, especially the hobbit on the right. As for Blair, he now resembles the muppet that he truly is….
    I give you the legend that is ‘Beaker’:

    • Haha, Blair is going for the young look. What a cunt, I wonder what he was up to out there. ‘Advising’ wealthy cunts for an undisclosed fee.

      • Not sure. The cunt on the right is Naguib Sawiris, 4th richest man in Africa, and (he’s Egyptian) close to President al-Sisi. Blair ‘advises’ al-Sisi ,and Sawiris has several times lent his private jet to Blair for visits to Blair’s clientele of dodgy African leaders. They appear to be close. One possible reason for Blair’s presence might be a visit to Sawiris’ answer to Cannes, the el-Gouna Film Festival. But I have no doubt business in developing countries was on the agenda too. The cunt in the middle owns the restaurant.

      • 4th richest man in Africa is a ugly little bald goblin creature with specs? All that dosh and you can’t look better then that?

        I thought the cunt in the middle was pete townsend lol but its that bloated vapid Paul Hollywood chef cunt

      • All that dosh and you don’t fucking care what you look like…
        It’s not Hollywood, but one Giovanni Bolandrini , for what it’s worth. I said he was the owner, but more delving suggests that the outfit is owned by a California investment corporation; he’s presumably the restaurant manager.

    • TY for the muppet, Admin. If I had soshul meeja, I’d be posting both pics side by side all over them…

  6. Thankfully I don’t have to deal with customers in my line of work… I am a Landlord you see and any cunt wanting to rent a place is immediately on the backfoot as I hold the power.
    I know certain potential Tenants probably don’t like me when they meet me due to my intelligence, good looks and physical size but it’s funny watching then grovel and try to appear nice so I give them the nod.
    Go fuck yourselves and piss off after. 😁

    • Sorry B&WC but you are living in a dream world.

      The tenant (legally) holds all the cards. They can shit in your house, fuck up the decor, nick your curtains and you need THEIR fucking agreement to claim for the damages on their deposit! That is the law, so I am told. It protects poor ickle tenants from shagnasty landlords.

      What a bag of arse.

      • If they the piss PM I send a couple of orrible cunts round pretending to be maintenance.
        I sometimes cut out the legal bollocks as it enables them to get too big for their boots. I have a Gentleman’s agreement with the cunt(s).
        Some cunts think they own the place after a while.

  7. Nice come back from a local chippy to a pillar of the community in the local shop (for local people).

    “I see you have started working for mrs x , You still haven’t done those other things that I asked you to do!” (small crowd of listening hens converge) His reply.
    “Ah yes that’s because you never paid me for the first job that I did for you”

    Pillar crumbles……

  8. Cunts everywhere, a cunt is a cunt and the interaction with a cunt always involves cuntishness.

    I deal with people all day everyday and I totally understand why mass shootings happen.

    The movie Falling Down is so relevant to today’s world. Some days it feels like I’m surrounded by cunts who are all existing just to make life difficult for no particular reason apart from a desire to be a cunt.

  9. Always the rich and well to do cunt s trying to fuck over the little guy from parliament to laying pavement they will do all they can to fuck you dry.

    I’ve had to deal with loads of cunty customers over the years and I’ve lost a lot of jobs because of them because , well I give it back to them 2 fold.

    Won’t be much longer when know one will have to deal with them though. With the way automation and online shopping is going they will be a thing of the past .

  10. Polite enquiry mongo: have you been contracted to build any gas chambers recently? If not expect a rash of orders when Corbyn gets in.

    • Haha. It’s my expertise as a matter of fact. Cellars, safe rooms, Chambers that look like showers. You may have seen one of my older jobs in the news today in The Netherlands. Stealth is the key to a good ‘shelter’.

  11. Customers can indeed be cunts. People are generally ruder nowadays (“I need this, I need that”) and it’s a sad aspect of life in Britain that’s been lost. The only industry that has more cunts than the customers is the service industry where your food is shite and the service is shite yet we’re expected to nod, smile, say thank you and tip the fuckers.

    • You’ve obviously never had the misfortune to work in the service industry like I have. Fucking cunts constantly moaning about their food, can I have this instead of that, my blue steak isn’t cooked enough, I want some money off my bill because I had to wait 15 minutes for my sandwich, etc etc. Funny enough, I didn’t last long.

  12. A friend of mine, a roofer by trade did the roof for the chief prosecutor for the Inland revenue. When asked how he wanted to be paid he simply replied”cash is king”

    • We fitted 2 bathrooms for “Lord” Digby Jones. 2 solicitors letters and a threat to serve notice later he decided it was best to pay.
      Absolute cunt of a man.

  13. Imagine working in a restaurant where you have to be nice to customers who are a damn nuisance.
    ‘I have an allergy to this’, ‘what was the name of the cow I’m eating’… fuck off.
    Then you get the sad cunts who due to their lives being shite use a restaurant or shop to act the cunt as they know they can and the poor staff can’t tell them to piss off.
    I was in Ikea once and this cunt was mouthing off to some member off staff, I went over and told him to shut the fuck up and that he was a prick. He looked surprised and the staff member looked happy.
    Fuck dealing with customers… Too many cunts and slaaaags abaaaaht. Piss off.

    • IKEA. total cunts that started off with political prisoners in East Germany making their shit .

      • Ingvar Kuntrad lived a couple of miles up the road from me when I lived in Switzerland. I was doing a CD that was partly Swedish music, and was looking for some small sponsorship, 1,000 Swiss francs. Mean old scrote didn’t even send a Fuck Off letter. I hope he dies of impacted faeces, the cunt. Probably gets the ‘orn over his fellow cuntrywimmin Gretta Thunderface.

  14. Years back a mate of mine worked for the benefits agency or whatever they call it now. He was a bit stressed with life in general and one woman phoned him up asking where her giro was. It was the day before Christmas Eve and he said that it had been sent but that she probably wouldn’t get it until after Christmas due to the post. Thing is, it was her fault according to him as she’d put a claim in late and he’d done it as soon as he could. She’d also requested he send a giro out.

    He did all that for her but when she was told she’d get her money one or two days after Boxing Day she went mental, called him everything under the sun and said, “So what am I supposed to tell my kids for Christmas now?”

    He said, and I quote (more or less), “Well, I think the best thing to tell them is to study hard at school, stay out of trouble and not get up the duff to anyone in trousers, then perhaps they might not end up ringing the dole for their kids’ Christmas fucking presents.”

    He just kept his job somehow, but quit anyway bit long after

    • Oh to be a fly on the wall for that witty riposte.I bet the dirty chav cunt had to take a seat on her filthy, sunken sofa, adjust her food stained onesie,and reach for the fags to get over the shock ha

      • According to others present they a stopped what they were doing and looking at him open mouthed.

  15. Some of my ‘customers’ are ABSOLUTE cunts… Treatment as per attitude. Amazing how many potholes you can find to bump over when they’re in pain.

  16. As far as I’m concerned, asking for a discount half way through a job, or failing to pay is Cunt speak for “please tip a shit load of mortar down my drains when I’m not looking”.

  17. It’s normally the ones who have plenty of money who are the worst. I did some tree-work for a Pillar of the Community….sent him a couple of bills,nothing forthcoming. Luckily I knew that he always had a Christmas Eve party for all his family . I went around to his place at about 9 o’clock,hammered on the door and when he answered started loudly telling him that I wanted paying and if he had cash-flow problems he’d better start sending the collection hat around his family because I wasn’t going fucking anywhere until I got paid….never seen a Cunt rush off to his study and write a cheque so quick.

    I also grabbed a Cunt by the scruff of his neck while he was in a restaurant having a meal. Just happened to notice him and his wife as I was going through to the bar…marched him off to the nearest cashpoint before he had a chance to even order his pudding…the look on his wife’s face was priceless as I dragged the Cunt out of the door.

    Never had any bother getting paid for treework off “working-class” folk,always “professional” people. More than one of them has learned that I can be a vindictive Cunt pretty much untroubled by social niceties when crossed.

  18. I can add to that. There is a new breed of customer who is even more of a cunt. I work in a trade store, and we get these weekend warriors come in with a bit of tatty crap in a tissue and say *I need a replacement for this”, even though they cannot describe what it is, or what it is does . Worse than that, they start asking technical questions about electrics, plumbing, building etc, and get huffy when we say we can’t answer them. We work in a shop ffs. You want technical advice, ask a tradesman, or even better, hire one, and pay the bill when he/she does the work.

    Best one I saw is when a customer was told we could not give any technical advice, but he noticed a tradesman next to him so sidled up and started asking him questions. The tradesman said that he did not spend his time doing his city and guilds qualification so he could free advice, and they need to pay for that. Bless him 🙂

  19. Ive had to take time off because of a company wont pay me or anyone else on time. Ive told them i dont work for free while i find other work.

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