64 thoughts on “Tiny Tim

    • Yes you’re right!
      Mind you,on first glance I thought it was that lispy lesbian gargoyle Sonia from EastEnders.

      • An old friend of mine went down on her once. Not a story he likes to tell and not his proudest moment

      • Oh fuck,I’ll bet he STILL hasn’t managed to get the stench out of his nostrils. Yeeeuuuggghhhh.

  1. I remember that record. I am just surprised Gaylord Adonis has not done a remake with the David Lammy Banjo Band.

  2. Looks like greta thunbergs yacht trip wasn’t so carbon friendly afterall I mean she has aspbergers and downs syndrome so don’t get to angry at her. Also she needs the ultra richs help to save the planet the same ones who give a flying backwards fuck about the environment while lecturing the peasants how they should live and the same cunts who give big oil tax cuts and exception from guilt when they create oil spills

    This greta thunberg is probably the most astroturfed thing since al gores phony an inconvenient truth

    • That’s the thing about Saint Greta of Cuntberg… Because of how she errr looks she is felt sorry for and the snowflake climate change wankers (celebrity or otherwise) see the little mercenary gremlin as a sort of pet and a novelty to be patted on the head… A bit like one of those pugs or some other ugly looking dog… If she was a fit and sexy bird who got her norks out for climate change, she’d be hated… The ugly card works well these days (Ed Sheercunt will tell you that) and looking like Saint Greta is now seen as a plus… The weirdo unfortunately now rules the roost and the abnormal is normal… How someone like Greta can be a poster girl is madness, but for her it’s boom time and window lickin’ good…. The Little cunt…

      • Just like the ‘racist’ ‘sexist’ ‘Me Too’ and ‘muslamaphobia’ cards, Cuntberg will now be beyond any sort of questioning or criticism by cunts using the ‘special’ card…

        ‘But… But, she looks like a spaz… She’s a fucking hypocrite? You can’t say that, she’s ‘special’… Yadder Yadder fucking Yadder…

    • Ahh, now I understand. For a minute I thought it was the ghastly return of that other tiny freak – Tiny Tim Farron.

      Now he WAS a horror story.

  3. Tiny Tim is famous for one stupid song and for being an ugly cunt.

    Simon Western is bringing out his own George Foreman type grill.
    It’s so good, he even put his face on it.

    I’ll get me coat.😬

  4. What a creepy looking individual. Has the look of the Cunt that I caught fiddling with the catch of one of my many gates the other night….fled when approached,of course,but on the wind I did hear…” I’m Capt. Milquetoast(or something similar),and all farmers are smelly..wah,wah,wah”

    • Morning Mr F-F.
      Whilst reading your witty farming-related banter this weekend, it occurred to me that you might be doing a Silverback Lammy or Jussie Smollet and that yourself and the Cap might be one and the same.

      • What? Create some pathetic alter-ego incapable of landing a blow?…..
        Anyhow.I have no idea who this “Cap” character that you mention may be. My posts are aimed at no individual.

        Haven’t you got a pot to stir somewhere,Mr Cunt-Engine?

      • Fiddler, Krav, and now Cap… how many more personalities are you host to Dick?

        Make an appointment. Dissociative Identity Disorder is a speciality of mine.

      • Ho ho, yes. Guilty as charged, Mr F-F!
        Does this mean then that my upcoming cunting of “smelly farmers” might not be well received at Fiddler towers?!

      • Come to think of it, I’ve never seen Dick and the Captain together in the same room! Mind you, rather than a case of dual personality, this could have been because of the fracas they caused at the last MENSA meeting when apparently pistols were drawn.

      • Yes Bert I believe we are witnessing an historical battle in the in the annals of ISAC. Between the modern urban (or should I say urbane) sophiticated intellect of CP and the more old-fasioned countrified homely wisdom of Mr F. Who will prevail? The whole direction of ISAC depends on the outcome.

      • I do worry about Mr F’s tactics though Bert. The Captain puts something up about farmers being thick snaggletoothed cretins and Mr F always rises to the bait. While the Captain stands supremely aloof. As is his won’t with his monumental intellect. But the strategy is working.

      • I never could resist an easy shot,Miles. He keeps putting them up.I’ll keep knocking him down.

  5. He has child catcher written all over him. I’m sure he’s not, I’m sure he’s genuinely a decent bloke, but what an unfortunate looking individual.

    • A spectacularly ugly sextenarian woman greeted me recently at a motel as I checked in.

      I suspect she had a heart of gold but Dog had not been kind to any single component of her fizzog. Big misshapen ears, red rimmed eyes, pale irises, bad hair, heavy jowls, wobbly turkey gobbler neck, broken teeth the fricking lot.

      In which case Dog is a cunt.

  6. I was about 15 when Tiptoe Through The Tulips graced the airwaves.

    Being more into the likes of Blue Cheer and The Mothers Of Invention, it was just another silly novelty song as far as I was concerned. It had no impact on me whatsoever.

    I suppose if you suffered from coulrophobia you might have found the cunt a bit creepy.

    In retrospect he looks like the idiot bastard son of George Formby and Alice Cooper. File under harmless eccentrics.

  7. fucking hell, those colours are just too fucking loud for a Monday morning; not helped by the ugly cunt wearing them!

    Can barely recall Tiny Tim – and if I would never have imagined he looked like that!

    A definite case of lock up your daughters, sons, MILFs, goats, sheep… the whole fucking Ark in fact.

  8. Fuck me Norman this is a belated cunting. He was a novelty, Yankee cunt who claimed to shower after every piss. In terms of musical talent he was up there with the Spice Girls and any number of identikit, X factor ‘bands’ though at least he could strum a ukulele.

  9. Talking about decrepit old men, John McDonnell has just been on Wireless 4 (Today programme) wittering on about a second referendum (sorry “People’s Vote”.) The demented old bastard kept using words like “proper” and “democracy”. Then the old shitstain was asked about Hong Kong and he said all their people wanted was for “the agreement to be honoured” – total hypocrite what about the agreement we came to three years ago about the EU?. Interviewer Justin Webb didn’t bother to point out the hypocrisy of St John, in fact I think he was getting a hard-on as McDonnell talked about “the Labour government”, which McDonnell feels will be here this year. He probably went off to jerk off after that very mild encounter. Much of the shit coming out of McDonnell’s mouth was prefaced with the words “as Jeremy has said”.

    Two old men sitting in their piss stained keks in the Westminster Rest Home

    • I now have a vision of Ronald McDonnell singing “Tiptoe through the Tulips”…

  10. Fair play to the cunt. He made a brief career out of proudly being a cunt, and maybe he wasn’t so much of a cunt as tiptoeing thru the tulips made him seem. It was a huge and excruciatingly irritating hit, and now I’ve got the earworm back, it will be with me all day, so thanks for nothing. His fans will enjoy this rather less famous appearance:


    • I had no idea Anthony Blair had made a film. But “I must go on acting” should become as famous as Mae West’s “come up and see me some time” as his trademark line

      • Truth being stranger than fiction, you will be unsurprised to learn that Cherie Blair is making a film right now. I am not joking. It’s about Israel/Palestine, where Tony was so successful in bringing the two sides together…again, I am not joking. Read on here; caution, disturbing image of Cherie.


        Is there no end to her talent? Or no beginning?

      • I know there is a delicate balance between warring sides in your countries but why dont you just be nice to each other? religions can work together just be nice because that is all religion is just being nice don’t bother with ‘theology’ it just complicates matters we’re all the same deep down and we can show you how it’s really done with western democracy…if you want any information just contact our Global Institute and we can help

        Disclaimer: there will be a price to pay maybe hundreds of thousands dead and injured but it’s worth it in the end.

      • PS There will also be a small fee for the services of the Institute for Global Blair, but no worries because the United Arab Emirates or USAID cab usually be tapped in exchange for some minor undertakings by the President of wherever you are. Whose family’s personal retirement fund in Switzerland will not be affected.

        (Miles – you’ve got it exactly. So how come the cunts who invite the Institute in can’t see the cunt coming?)

      • I do not know Komodo. I do not know. How he is not spending his days detained in the Hague like Milosevich is beyond me.

  11. Whoa that’s one horrendous sight right there. You could fucking cut cheese with that nose. But as grotesque as he is,he’s STILL easier on the eye than Ed fucking Sheeran.

    • Morning Beemack. Our exchange re anti -Glamour? Someone mentioned Lewis Capaldi on here so decided to Google him. Fuck me such glamour! You’d queue overnight just to get a glimpse of him. But the story about him was he sang a song and pissed himself. Got me thinking of say a fifties star…I don’t know…someone like Englebert Humperdinck. Maybe when he came on the stage he would have said: ‘Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen…I would like to do my song “Please Release Me” and when he had finished it would say-‘I am glad you enjoyed it’ Mr Capaldi comes on ‘Whoah everyone!’ then proceeds to do his song and afterwards says ‘I’ve just pissed myself doing the high notes of that song’. About sums our modern entertainment up.

      • Morning Miles.
        Yes I’ve seen that Capaldi cunt. Have managed to thus far avoid hearing him. My instinct tells me he’ll be shite.
        And it doesn’t surprise me that he boasts about pissing himself onstage. He, Sheeran etc always look as if they stink of piss anyway, as do the plebs who foolishly buy tickets to see/hear this tripe.
        I know this ilk of “star” are environmentalists, but that’s no excuse for avoiding showering and wearing clean clothes.
        Frank,Sammy and Dino must be spinning in their graves.

  12. There was another unappealling and unfunny “novelty” hit around that time called “They´re Coming to Take Me Away”. See link. How can people buy crap like this?

    I think Benny Hill even got to number one with a pathetic attempt about Ernie the milkman or something.


    • Both songs you’ve mentioned are however vastly superior to anything released by anyone in the last ten years. Especially by cunts like Knob ‘Ed Sheeran, Titless Swift and fat smelly bastard Adele.

    • The Liebore Party should drop The Red Flag, and sing that catchy little ditty instead…but not before Campbellend has done his usual trick of buggering Beethoven’s 9th on the bagpipes.

    • Late 70s to 1980 my only genre .thank god i never knew of tiny tim .although anything is better than the absolute shite of today.give me bmw live any fucking day
      born to late /id have loved to be at 120,000 in attendance show 1980 italy.

    • Those who had thankfully never heard it, and I was one until just now. Tremble, RTC, for I will be revenged. Apocalyptically awful, as if the original wasn’t bad enough… shades of Florence Foster-Jenkins.

      • Having endured the entire session I can attest that frivolity was the order of the day…

    • God he must have been very, very pissed when he sang that. With all those falsetto *oooh’s* I suspect that IS Adonis’s remake and Mangledbum must have been goosing him

  13. Oh no Mr Polly. They were almost the two best records of the seventies. Certainly the cleverest. ‘Ernie’ is a work of genius:

    You could hear the hoof beats pound as they raced across the ground,
    And the clatter of the wheels as they spun ’round and ’round.
    And he galloped into market street, his badge upon his chest,
    His name was Ernie, and he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.

    Now Ernie loved a widow, a lady known as Sue,
    She lived all alone in Liddley Lane at number 22.
    They said she was too good for him, she was haughty, proud and chic,
    But Ernie got his cocoa there three times every week.

    They called him Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeeee)
    And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.

    She said she’d like to bathe in milk, he said, “All right, sweetheart,”
    And when he’d finished work one night he loaded up his cart.
    He said, “D’you want it pasturize? ‘Cause pasturize is best,”
    She says, “Ernie, I’ll be happy if it comes up to my chest.”

    That tickled old Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeeee)
    And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.

    Now Ernie had a rival, an evil-looking man,
    Called Two-Ton Ted from Teddington and he drove the baker’s van.
    He tempted her with his treacle tarts and his tasty wholemeal bread,
    And when she seen the size of his hot meat pies it very near turned her head.

    She nearly swooned at his macaroon and he said, “If you treat me right,
    You’ll have hot rolls every morning and crumpets every night.”
    He knew once she sampled his layer cake he’d have his wicked way,
    And all Ernie had to offer was a pint of milk a day.

    Poor Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeeee)
    And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.

    One lunch time Ted saw Ernie’s horse and cart outside her door,
    It drove him mad to find it was still there at half past four.
    And as he lept down from his van hot blood through his veins did course,
    And he went across to Ernie’s cart and didn’t half kick his ‘orse.

    Whose name was Trigger, (Triggerrrrrrrr)
    And he pulled the fastest milk cart in the west.

    Now Ernie rushed out into the street, his gold top in his hand,
    He said, “If you wanna marry Susie you’ll fight for her like a man.”
    “Oh why don’t we play cards for her?” he sneeringly replied,
    “And just to make it interesting we’ll have a shilling on the side.”

    Now Ernie dragged him from his van and beneath the blazing sun,
    They stood there face to face, and Ted went for his bun.
    But Ernie was too quick, things didn’t go the way Ted planned,
    And a strawberry-flavoured yogurt sent it spinning from his hand.

    Now Susie ran between them and tried to keep them apart,
    And Ernie, he pushed her aside and a rock cake caught him underneath his heart.
    And he looked up in pained surprise and the concrete hardened crust,
    Of a stale pork pie caught him in the eye and Ernie bit the dust.

    Poor Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeeee)
    And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.

    Ernie was only 52, he didn’t wanna die,
    And now he’s gone to make deliveries in that milk round in the sky.
    Where the customers are angels and ferocious dogs are banned,
    And the milkman’s life is full of fun in that fairy, dairy land.

    But a woman’s needs are many fold and soon she married Ted,
    But strange things happened on their wedding night as they lay in their bed.
    Was that the trees a-rustling? Or the hinges of the gate?
    Or Ernie’s ghostly gold tops a-rattling in their crate?

    They won’t forget Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeee)
    And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.

      • I can’t oblige there I’m afaid Mr Polly. But Mrs Plastic and I often do a duet version of-‘Theyre Coming To Take you Away’ in drink. In fact they did (the police) come to take me away one night after we had sung it. I’ll say no more.

    • By modern standards, that is indeed great poetry, and Benny Hill should be buried in Westminster Abbey.

  14. I’ve never seen or heard of this cunt before and never want to see him again.

    Give me Zippy, George and Bungle.

Comments are closed.