A cunting please for this little spying sales machine.

Alexa is a spying machine that is there primarily to sell you shit from Amazon. Who in their right mind wants an Alexa? Morons, that’s who and there’s plenty of them.

I really cannot imagine having this little jerk in my house and asking ‘Alexa, what’s the weather forecast today?’ FFS I just look out my window, its far more reliable than BBC Weather or this Alexa gadget.

And although I do buy things from Amazon, I usually have to plough through about 100 products to find something that looks the least shit and is reasonably priced. Imagine, leaving all that thought to Alexa and letting it have free reign. ‘Can I order that for you?’ You say yes and then something that was made in China turns up or too many things made in China turn up or its nothing like the thing you had in mind turns up!!!

Amazon can sod off.

Nominated by Cuntologist

Ahmadiyya Muslim Community UK – No, me neither but:

‘Rafiq Hayat, president of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community UK, has encouraged people of all faiths to get to know Muslims better at the convention. ‘Islam actually places an emphasis on integration and contributing to the society you live in, which is what the 35,000 Muslims who’ll be gathering at the UK’s largest Islamic convention aim to show – that loyalty to your country is in fact a part of your faith,’ said Mr Hayat.’

Integration? Loyalty to your country? In which country of the world do these fuckers integrate and show loyalty? What exactly is Sharia then?

There is nothing in their scripture to back this up. Even in America where loyalty to the flag is a given the Muslim senator doesn’t acknowledge 9/11 as an Islamic act.

This lot are the Islamic Ministry of Truth, but no doubt right-on fools will be taken in.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

https://youtu.be/NSJ6tU1txRE

Apparently some right wing extremists beat the shit out of Owen Jones.

This is not because he is a self opinionated, loud mouthed gobshite. It was politically motivated. Set up by people who object to him telling the truth about everything and pointing out that everyone else is wrong.

I personally don’t believe this was politically motivated. I believe it is because he is a self opinionated, loud mouthed gobshite. But because I don’t agree with Owen Jones, I am obviously wrong.

Probably why the Guardian won’t publish my articles?

Nominated by Dioclese

A slightly retro cunting for Lad culture.

Even though we live in the age of the non-binary SJW gimp, Lad Culture was shit, wasnt it? All very top-down. It was dictated by middle-class, 30 and 40-something graduates who went straight into media and office jobs, publishing ‘lad tests’ and full page adverts for poncey shirts and fragrances in those magazines with attitude and full of git-speak. The tragedy was that they convinced working class lads to become pricks, going around town centres, arms aloft, saying ‘oi oi!’

The funniest thing was that the glamour models these magazines interviewed usually made it pretty clear that they hated these ‘Jack the Lad’ types, because if they mouth off in front of the wrong sort of bloke, someone who was ‘a bit handy’ as my older work mates say, someone who had been in a few scraps, these little wankers are the first to shit themselves. That, and they all turned into Metrosexuals in the early noughties, wanking over David Beckham and Craig David, or becoming professional northerners like Paddy McGuinness or Freddy ‘I can drink beer’ Flintoff.

It’s all a bit gaaaay. Thank fuck that shite is dead.

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime