Today’s nomination is untimely death.
I think we are all getting to the stage of life where getting your rocks off is a rare event but funerals are not.
Well I have been buttering Mrs B up for a number of days in the hope of some form of nocturnal recreation and last night was going to be the night (I had put the curtain rail up, ticked off all the odd jobs and even done the washing up).
As we get ready to skip off to the bouncy castle of love she checks her phone,, ooh so and so’s mother has died!; at this point we then have a major clash of personalities.
I am of the view that they are dead and there is not much I can do about it. There was a time when I used to get upset about it, but it dosent bring them back nor does it solve any of the problems their absence may cause.
Mrs B tends to go the other way, biblical wailing, tears and hold me (in a non sexual manner).
So I can tell you that this untimely death has affected me, not only did I not get my nuptials, but its unlikely that I will be getting them in the near future too.
I think I may go on a quick killing spree next time I am not feeling horny and wipe out all the frail ones to prevent a recurrence of this.

Nominated by lord benny

Hilary Benn.

What a fucking cunt. This man, along with the usual suspects plus Burt, are still trying every means possible to subvert the democratic right of the people and haemorrhaging by any means possible Brexit, using no-deal as a negotiating tool to try to get a deal.

I am sick to the back teeth of these devious bastards using every means possible to stop Brexit.

Utter cunts the lot of them.

Nominated by Speakyourmind

My wife has this incredibly annoying habit of shouting out answers when watching some dreary old quiz program on the box. Moreover, she also speaks out loud when we’re watching a mystery-murder whodunit film or show!

“He’s the murderer! It’s obvious. Look at his eyes: dead shifty. Why can’t the cops see that? It’s so obvious. …..” And on and on she yammers, only to find right at the end that it was someone else that did the crime.

But even then she’ll go on the defensive and say “Nope, they’ve got that wrong! It was never her. She couldn’t have done it!”

Admittedly she is not alone in this oddball behaviour because I too will shout at the TV when watching a football/rugby game!

The upshot of all this is totally irrational and ultimately quite pointless, because at the end of the day no one gives a shit, not least the people in the TV program/game; and certainly not the other cunts in the room who are trying to listen/watch the program in peace.

Then you get cunts who are listening to music with their headphones on, and then proceed to sing out loud, completely unaware there is no music to muffle their godawful “singing”, and that yet again it becomes a real pain in the arse having to listen to some squawking bint warbling on for hours on end!

Not much of a cunting in the grand scheme of things admittedly, but still fucking annoying for all that.

Nominated by Technocunt

So have just renewed my licence for another year of Lefty shite. In fact it’s not even for a year because apparently it expires end of June 2020 even though I renewed today (10.07.19)

For many years I have been debating whether to renew or not; and now I am seriously considering telling the licensing people to go fuck themselves next year.

I don’t watch live TV, and haven’t done so in a long time. And its not just the BBC that you need a licence for, but all the other channels, regardless of terrestrial, cable or satellite. And yes I have TVs, tablets and computers, but I don’t have iPlayer, Sky or Virgin. So basically I tick all their boxes for NOT wanting a TV licence.

So come the end of June 2020 and they crawl back to ask me to renew I will tell them to shove their licence up their shit-chute! And if they come back with a shedload of letters then they can shove those too.

Fuck the BBC and fuck the tax disguised as a TV licence – this is the 21st century, and we have far more choice what we want to watch!

Nominated by Technocunt

This cunt, a world renowned tiger tamer, has been given a practical demonstration that he wasn’t as good at taming as he thought.

During rehearsals at the Italian circus, ‘Circo Orfei’, four of the animals tore him to shreds and played with his remains for thirty minutes.
Medics were unable to help, and his fellow performers could not drive the tigers away.
Police were then called and have launched an investigation to try to recreate the events leading up to the attack.
Why? Do they want to see more people killed?
Bunch of stupid wop cunts.

Nominated by Duke of Cuntshire