MENSA is a weird cult of cunts, isn’t it?

Recently I had an invitation to a MENSA pub gathering in London and, as I always found those daft tests unchallenging (which shape is next, foodstuff anagrams, doable maths), I went along. Perhaps they sat about getting pissed, discussing football and telling filthy jokes, I pondered.

Alas, no.

A gaggle of overweight, middle-class academics sat about readying to outdo each other. An olfactory cocktail of halitosis and urine-stained kecks informed the air around a committee of pompous, autistic singletons capable of endless talk of electrons or semiotics, though unable to sew on a button or make an omelette.

Some had beards and wore trainers, most had noticeably ill-fitting trousers, refusing to notice their slowing expanding girths. Avid Guardian-readers, avid Antiques Roadshow-watchers, avid Remainiacs, these elitist eggheads had the social skills of farmers and were just as unhygienic, opinionated, and smelly. One large, mildewed man even began opining about God’s love. Another said he hated books; a spidery woman said she hadn’t seen a film in a decade.

From the very few women, there was one actual looker in her 40s but she obsessively talked about textiles, didn’t stop twitching, and smelt of ham.

These dreary, highfalutin stiffs had no fight about them yet could weaken any opposition with their droning on about geology, the history of the Popes, or 11th century bannisters, whilst occasionally spraying the listener with warm spittle.

Why are they determined to satisfy the stereotype? Why the pride in a deficiency of social interaction? Why the unpleasant, belligerent bouquet, an odour of spoiled food, urine, and sewage?

I made my excuses and left.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

37 thoughts on “MENSA

  1. My lad just did a Mensa test and another I didn’t catch the name of. He has an IQ of over 150 apparently, he keeps it very well hidden is all I can say.

  2. Recently I had an invitation to a MENSA pub gathering in London and, as I always found those daft tests unchallenging (which shape is next, foodstuff anagrams, doable maths)…….

    Yes,it must be difficult not to be too condescending to the lesser minds who don’t possess your brilliance.

    • I thought that Mr F. He said he had an ‘invitation’. Oh, I see. Who gave him the ‘invite’ him I wonder? Must have been a mensa member. So Mensa saw ‘potential’ in him we are to infer. They must have thought here is someone (from the estates) with ‘potential’ or why the ‘invite’? I know how it happened he was overheard in the pub the previous week and a Mensa member astounded by his erudition thought to invite him? No. It is his huge forehead denoting extreme intelligence that is the give away. It’s obvious. An IQ of 1000 I guess. Considered a colossal genius.

  3. Frank Lampard has an IQ of 150. Really?
    I would guess Captain that Kenneth Clarke was at that meeting and they rolled him out at closing time?

  4. Surely you would have realised before you went it was unlikely to be attended by people most of us would consider to be normal (other than yourself obviously Captain)?

    Sad Johnny No Mates individuals trying to prove themselves superior to their fellow man. Almost comical if not so pathetic.

    Strangely when writing this an image of the late Richard Griffith’s popped into my head.

  5. Following the money –
    £25 to take the test, £60 pa subscription, 20,000 members claimed by Mensa GB; nice little earner. Mensa is not a charity.
    2% of the working age population of the UK is ~72,000, and that omits the 10.5 to 16-year-olds also eligible for Mensa.

    Someone in the top 2% of the intelligence spectrum could be expected to realise that Mensa is rather like vanity publishing, and could look like a pathetic attempt on his/her part to compensate for his/her total lack of achievement in any other area while being bored to death by the other members. The numbers suggest that the great majority of those eligible have in fact realised this.

    CM’s account completely confirms my only known contact with a Mensa member (I beat him at chess, at which I am about as crap as it is possible to be, and he never mentioned Mensa again in my hearing), and my otherwise uninformed speculation. My £60 subscription will continue to be paid across the bar of the Lizard and Politician in exchange for a better product altogether. Good cunting.

  6. I only ended up at a Mensa meeting cos the ex sent me out for some sanitary products.


    • Obviously ive been scouted by mensa mercilessly,
      But told em straight “pol pot had the right idea, you intellectuals should be fertiliser for the killing fields”.
      Seem to post alot about dictators dont I?
      Need to keep an eye on that….

  7. As the mighty ID once said…

    Einstein can’t be classed as witless.
    He claimed atoms were the littlest.
    When you did a bit of splitting-em-ness
    Frightened everybody shitless.

  8. I think these online Mensa practice tests that give you the gist of your IQ figure are a load of bollockry.

    Being a bored cunt of an evening and having not much to brag about in a family of overachieving, life-successful, highly annoying bastards, I thought I would give them a try.

    One told me my IQ was in the above average-gifted range, between 125 and 140 (I didn’t complete the bloody test within the time frame, so it was an estimate only)…..

    ……the other one told me my IQ was something akin to Forrest Gump.

    I mean, what the actual fuck??

    I have to concur with the nominating cunter here, Captain M. I think that Mensa members are probably a bunch of speccy cunts who just love shoving their IQ’s down everyone’s throats at any given moment and dropping into that fucking tedious dinner party conversation about the weather, that they are, in fact, a Mensa member.

    Fuck ’em. Think i will just stay averagely thick, thanks awfully.

    • Wouldnt worry about it Nurse Cunty, your by far one of the most astute people on here!
      And yes I am a shameless little creep!😇

      • Shamelessly creep away, MNC!

        Thank you kindly, good Sir. Your comment has really made my day 🙂

  9. I’ve met many MENSA types down the years and they all smell dodgy. They also all have the same condescension. Plus they’re all cunts.

  10. Thank fuck I have the brains of a lettuce and wouldnt get an invite to the spastic society, the Joy’s of stupidity.

  11. I am often invited to Fuckwit conventions in my local pub (the Village Idiot) I find the company congenial, if a bit intellectual, but my inane grinning and gurning lets me fit in.

  12. I’m glad to hear, from the OP, that all these nerdy creeps were remoaners. That confirms the stereotype in my head and also proves they’re not as smart as they want everyone to think they are.
    Thick as shit in fact. And wankers. Cunts obviously.

  13. I might be eligible but the tests were both crap ones via facecunt so it’s very doubtful. Ive known people with genius-level IQ: some are nice and gave no fucks, laughing it off, and some had nothing else going on so bragged about it.
    The saddest ones are those in their 40s who brag about answering questions on University Challenge, then say, ‘ yeah my mum was really impressed’.

  14. Get these Mensa types to organise a proper Brexit instead of sitting about discussing Physics bollox.

    Hoo-ee, what cunts.

    • Was just thinking that. Nearly all Remainers think they are more intelligent than Leavers. Nay, they think we leavers are thick. They think because they’ve been to Uni and they read the papers they are intelligent. And because Leavers are ordinary and many uninterested in current affairs and political debate they are thick. We live in a ‘newspaper flattered’ age.

      • Remainers sing the same song over and over as if that’s an answer. MPs especially seem pretty uncreative. Careerists when they should be making laws.

  15. Last IQ test I took was the eleven-plus. The head teacher told my parents I’d achieved the lowest score in the history of the school ever. Probably because I took one look at the first question and promptly went into standby mode till it was time to go home.

    Goes without saying the wife is the brains in our family. A framed Mensa certificate hanging in the toilet reads:


    This is to certify that…. MRS PRITI CREAMPUFF…. took up Mensa’s challenge and has been awarded this certificate of merit as a result.

    (signed) Clive Sinclair

    Sir Clive Sinclair.

    Naturally we are both extremely proud of this outstanding achievement.

  16. I used to do a pub quiz and there was a twat that was on one of the other teams that was always banging on about being in MENSA.
    It was always satisfying when we regularly thrashed the pants of his team.

    Apart from a few naive cunts that were taken in by his bullshit, he didn’t seem to be intelligent enough to know that everyone else in the pub thought he was a monumental cunt.

  17. Whilst MENSA cunts are at the top end of the IQ scale, Pub Fact Cunts are at the opposite.

    Unfortunately the old wise ones propping up the bar each night seem to be a dying breed.

    I used to love listening to my mates Dads pub facts and even at 14 listened in wonderment that a grown adult could believe such shit that he would punch his wife for calling him gullible.

    Everyone was wrong because old Barry used to know a bloke who had painted the boat shed in Hereford, scaled Everest without oxygen spending a few days exploring the summit and saw Bruce Lee catch a bullet with a pair of chop sticks.

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