Modern Life is rubbish! Proclaimed Blur, and I wholeheartedly agree! I’m a child of the 70s and miss a lot of things that have disappeared since then. But it’s more about what’s happened since; mass immigration, crybaby culture, mobile phones, electric cars, feminist men, shite tv, celebrity worship, foreign muck food, rabid trannies, and utterly shite music. Feral kids who never got told ‘no!’ or slapped off a copper. Jesus, nowadays a copper’s more likely to ask if you’re going to a pride parade! Know it’s just what is classed as ‘progress’ but don’t have to fucking like it! And what’s with old ladies having bright purple, blue, and red hair? That was hardcore punk when I was a kid! Not something your nana did! So fuck modern life, I’m not impressed and I refuse to join in, got a letter off me mam saying I’m excused! Get fucked.

Nominated by Miserable northern cunt

Shopping Guards – Cunts one and all

These aren’t the ones that stand at the exit wearing ill fitting uniforms, overweight or under nourished, watching a hidden monitor and giving you the eye as you leave.

No these are the cunts that fiercely guard their shopping on the conveyor.

Fuck me, why oh why oh why do these cunts guard the shopping from the back of their lot and not the front?

Jesus Christ this practice is endemic. Get to the front you cunt it allows more people to join the queue you selfish bastard and whilst I’m at it stop looking at your phone you cunt.

Nominated by CuntyMcCuntface

The ghost of cunts past: Jay Kay of Jamiroquai fame.

I see no reason why fuckers who were exhibiting colossal cuntitude in their prime pre-ISAC should escape a rightful, retrospective cunting.

Just like that serial sex-offender from the 70s who thought he was in the clear until advances in DNA forensics got him the punishment he deserves, so too should Jay fucking Kay get belatedly hauled before the courts of this glorious website.

Jay Kay may have been a pint-sized manlet, but do not for one moment mistake his cunt stature as anything other than colossal. Casting our minds back to the late-90s, Jay Kay was in his pomp, excreting out repetitive cod-funk bollocks and hanging out with that whole TFI Friday/Priory Clinic/E-Generation stable of monolithic cuntitude.

In between cultivating a ‘bad boy’ image and wearing hats too gay even for Julian Clary, he had several scuffles with the paps and eventually got gloriously headbutted by one of them. Even more fucking savoury was the fact that this hero was never charged by the police.

I suppose this fucker was the back-then equivalent of someone like Lily Allen. Musically overachieved, sold a shitload, loved the press attention and regularly made a cunt of himself thanks to largely being too fucking stupid for words. Shagged fellow cunt and Essex super-bike Denise Van Outen, to just top things off.

Here’s hoping that there’s no mainstream return for this Cunt Cowboy, I give you Jay Kay.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

What a complete cunt of a man he is, yet again doing his upmost to derail Brexit by undermining the two albeit shit PM hopefuls.

This sneaky shortsighted cunt really should be kicked out of office ASAP.

He inherited a very good balance sheet from Gideon, who basically shafted anyone that needs or uses public services and has left the country an absolute fucking mess, and he struts around like he is some sort of economic genius. Why don’t these people just be honest and say yes it is not going to be straightforward in the beginning but actually we could do really very well away from this economic straight jacket of Europe?

Instead it’s all got to be growth quarter after quarter and so on instead of looking to a brighter future. This is my first nom and I hope you fellow cunts aren’t too cuntish to me.

Nominated by Koplad