Monthly Archives: May 2019

Scotland’s Currency

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Scotland’s Currency
Those gurning airheads in the SNP are at it again. It seems that hard-liners want to set up a separate Scottish currency rapidly following independence, but First Muppet Nicola Sturgeon came under pressure at the party’s conference after economist Richard Marsh stated that people’s savings, investments and pensions would be damaged by such a plan.
Delegates therefore voted to set up a separate currency ‘as soon as practicable’, rather than within the first five years. Wee Jimmy Krankie added that Scotland would use the pound ‘until concerns are not there’. A classic political fudge then, which offers little real clarity and leaves everyone to wonder just what the fuck ‘until concerns are not there’ actually means in practice.
When quizzed about Scotland joining the Euro, Wee Jimmy offered the following by way of further enlightenment; ‘I am not personally in favour of joining the Euro. I can’t see into the future but that is not the position I think we will see in the foreseeable future’. Right…
Well thanks for clearing that up, Wee Jimmy. Concerned Scots can now sleep peacefully in their beds, knowing that the matter’s in your capable hands. Awa an bile yer fackin heid.

Nominated by Ron Knee

Chuggers.

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Lord Cuntony

 

What is there to like about these annoying, inane bastards? Absolutely fuck all.

When there’s a massive 360 degree space around one gormless, clipboard-clutching oxygen thief in the centre of town, sporting a raincoat and a cheesy (very punchable) grin, you know there’s it’s a fucking chugging reprobate ready to pounce.
“Hi, how are you? Don’t be shy! Can I talk to you for a moment about the poor children in Somalia?”
“Err, how about you go fuck yourself. You’re not doing it help the little future martyr Malteaser babies, you’re basically a sales person, in it for the money. The virtue signalling perk of (not really) helping the hopeless inhabitants of the third-world that comes with the job is a bonus so you can brag to your mates on Facebook about what a humanitarian you are.”

Fuck off.

Nominated by Lord Cuntony

Pandering To Muslim Sensibilities.

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I’ve just read that the FA is to abandon the tradition of Champagne being presented to Cup Final winners. This is to respect the beliefs of followers of a certain tolerant,Peaceful religion.

Fucks Sake. has there ever been a minority group which has commanded such “respect”? Schools can’t serve pork at meal-times,children can’t be taught about The Gayness, the Cross of St. George isn’t welcomed at public gatherings,off-licences are discouraged in certain areas, Peaceful workers must have special provisions made to cater for their religious requirements, terrorists and abusers are not identified as Muslim….

Now, I blame the Muslims for their arrogance,but even more I blame the people who are so terrified of causing offence to the Peaceful religion that they are prepared to bow down and kiss the arse of any chippy camel-jockey who finds some aspect of his host country unpalatable.

It’s about time that it was explained to them that The United Kingdom is not (yet) their country. It is not for us to accommodate their every whim,it is for them to either integrate and accept our ways if they want to live here or….Fuck Off.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

“Not A Problem”

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“…blah blah, nah-ah prob-lerm, blah blah…”

‘Not A Problem’
When the weather’s reasonable I like to take a long walk through the park, then pop into my local café for a coffee. The pleasure of this has been heightened of late by the appearance of a new waitress, an exceptionally nubile young woman who’s in possession of a mesmerisingly stunning décolletage. It’s wonderful to behold and an attraction which splendidly augments the establishment’s excellent coffee. What’s not to like?
Well, this marvellously endowed babe has an annoying habit. She responds to every comment with the teeth-grindingly irritating ‘not a problem’; viz,

Her; ‘Hi what can I get you?’ (‘get you?’; we’re off to a bad start!)
Me; ‘A cappuccino and a croissant, please’.
Her; ‘Not a problem. Do you want butter and jam?’
Me; ‘Just jam’
Her; ‘Not a problem. Would you like our choca mocca micka macka blend? No?
Not a problem’ (etc etc)

Just why the fuck would any of this ‘be a problem’ in the first place? Beats me. Her persistence with this verbal tic is bad enough. What makes it worse is her bimboesque Estuary chav delivery, complete with glottal stop; ‘nah-ah prob-lerm’.
Now I’d happily endure this mutilation of the language (and in addition offer a considerable financial inducement) in return for the bliss of laying my hands on those awesome assets for a while, lascivious old dog that I am. Sadly such joy exists purely in the parallel universe of the mind as far as I’m concerned. I’m left with the worst of both worlds then; forced to linger over my cold coffee with my tongue hanging out while she chants her litany to customers. ‘Nah-ah prob-lerm, nah-ah prob-lerm’.
Not a problem, my arse. My palms are sweating, and a cunt is what it is.

Nominated by Ron Knee

Jess Phillips (4)

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Jess Phillips is an evil cunt.

This immensely annoying, arrogant, fuck ugly, femenazi cunt has been grinding my gears for years, but I’ve finally had enough and decided to cunt the bitch.

I’m sure you’ve all heard about the Sargon of Akkad “rape tweet” “scandal” concerning Jess Phillips being trolled (very mildly) by Sargon because she laughed her head off when Phillip Davis requested a debate on men’s issues, such as suicide, lower life expectancy, failing prospects (working class white males are at the bottom of the tables now) and prostate cancer.
For some reason this bitter, twisted, bigoted mental case thinks it’s funny that men have problems.

Since then she has been deliberately blocking debates on male issues and it’s undoubtable that men have died as a direct result of her actions.
I won’t get my favourite website into trouble by accusing her of being the M word, but that’s what I consider her to be.
Knowingly killing (indirectly of course) men just as a na na na-na na to men is fucking sick.

Now she’s on the news talking about how she’s “so not bothered about it” while constantly talking about it and clutching at any and all straws of virtue that she can clasp in her wrinkled, spindly tallons.
The other day she was lying about how “the good people of britain” are stopping Sargon from having his street debates.
No Jess.
A handful of antifa soy boys and fat feminazis turned up and shouted the usual insults and made the usual racket whilst trying to bait the real men into hitting them, just so that they can become the victim and immediately call the police.

I don’t know why Sargon has committed such a crime by saying that he WOULDN’T rape her.
I would like to state for the record that I wouldn’t rape her either. Does that make me bad? If she’s so against rape then why does she love migrants and Muslims so much? Given half the chance they WOULD rape her. They’d rape her bloody and laugh in her face about it too. … but no. It’s the white man that WOULD NOT rape her that’s evil.

As I say, I WOULDN’T rape her. I wouldn’t even have consetual sex with her. Uurrgghh. Could you imagine…
“Rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit, women’s rights, rabbit rabbit rabbit, men are evil, rabbit rabbit, poor me, rabbit rabbit rabbit, I’m a victim, rabbit rabbit….”
“Just shut your fucking mouth for 2 fucking minutes bitch and let me finish this!”
“Rabbit rabbit rabbit….”

Apparently she’s married.
Poor guy….
That poor poor man….
Do you recon that whenever he goes to the shitter he’s gone for 30 – 40 minutes each time? I imagine it’s the only way he’ll get any peace, though it wouldn’t surprise me if she stood outside the door while he’s in there;
Rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit….

Apparently she “employed” her husband.

So she was his master AND his employer. He had to serve her all day at work and then at home he’s running around the kitchen and cleaning the house. Do you recon she makes him wear a pinnie?
…bet she does.
I think it’s been banned now as the MPs were using it to basically scam the taxpayer out of tens of thousands of pounds per year, so I don’t know if she does now, but employing her husband reeks of greed.

Sorry for the length of this cunting, I’ll leave you with this recent tweet, sent out after Sargon said that she was being a “giant bitch” by laughing at men’s issues.

Remember this is from an elected MP. An MP that doesn’t know the difference between KNOW and NO:

“You’ve know idea what a bitch I can be, a bitch that doesn’t quit, a bitch who fights, a bitch who pushes through no matter how hard it gets. You better all hope you never come up against a bitch like me, you will not win.”

….Replace every “bitch” in this tweet with the word “CUNT” and you’ll be almost there Jess.
You cunt.

Nominated by Deploy the Sausage