Heroes and Warriors

“Heroes and Warriors”.

I’m sick of the hyperbole employed by sports commentators and reporters. I don’t just mean football, I’ve heard it many other sports…even fucking darts and snooker players being described as “warriors”.

However,football seems to be the most extreme example… ” He’s a warrior,a midfield enforcer” which normally precedes the warrior/enforcer falling to the floor,rolling around while screaming like a girl after an opposition player as much as farts within 5 yards of him.
” The Gods blessed him with a magical left foot”….well,good of them,no doubt,but they “gifted” just about everyone with a left foot….”magical”,possibly not,but still capable of kicking a ball which is pretty much all his does.

” The greatest comeback since Lazarus”…a phrase so overused lately that I suspect that it is beyond resurrection itself.

“If you cut him,he’d bleed red/white/blue”…Oh,yes…until he was offered a massive pay rise by some club that played in green/black/yellow.

“A loyal club servant committed to taking the club forward”…..his agent couldn’t get him the move to a better-paying club so he’s going to run his contract down until he can take advantage of the Bosman ruling.

” The day that the whole city has been waiting for”….no,most of the “city” won’t give a shit apart from wondering if their local is going to be trashed by a group of yobs in footy shirts,or will they be attacked for wearing the wrong colour bobble-hat.

” He’s an intelligent footballer”…now this is the worst,sheer bollocks…all footballers are as thick as pigshit or they’d have opted out of football as children as taken up a Real Man’s Game…..RUGBY. (Sorry,did try and resist the urge…nah, I didn’t really)

Fuck Off.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

51 thoughts on “Heroes and Warriors

  1. Some fucking musicians play the hard man warrior posing like fucking hard man with their silly guitars and stupid faces they pull ,your plucking bits of string on a bit of wood, very tough.
    Today’s heroes David Beckham and the Kardashians. 1939 , 20 yr olds flying Lancaster bombers, progress dont you love it.

    • Luckily,my “expertise” isn’t limited to subjects of which I have any knowledge,Mike. An ability to spout forth on just about any subject regardless of knowledge,allied to a complete disregard for the truth stands me in good stead for my planned political career.

      Another interesting article from you,Mike. Good reading.

  2. Comments about the royal family, especially the wimminz when they’re either up the duff, nor feeling too well, or extremely old and fragile. All the usual sycophantic observations from the likes of Jenny Bond and co. “Oh she is so brave attending this ceremony in the rain with a mild breeze blowing!” or “Truly heroic the way she can stand for an hour while heavily pregnant!” or “Her magnificent strength and fortitude while fighting off a head cold is an inspiration to all of us!”

    Of course the same can be said for slebs – all very interchangeable, and all complete OTT bollocks of the first order.

    Perhaps I should say to my wife “I am a true hero for getting out of bed with a sore toe. I deserve either a medal or a blow job. Come on, while your down there….”

  3. Morning flap.

    Completely agree on that front. It wasn’t like these people agreed to take the disease in order to preserve another’s life. (although that would be magmanimous; not warrior even still)

    Cunts, everyone has to have feel good syndrome.

    Your so brave battling this illness. Not that you much of a fucking say in your bodies own internal defences.

    I best stop before I go off tangent. But dick, lovely cunting; made my Morning! Ta pal.

  4. I’m a wheelchair user, the amount of cunts who treat me like I’m a fucking hero just for leaving my fucking house!! I have a full time job for fucks sake! It’s almost as bad as the people who give me the pity look – FUCK RIGHT OFF!
    And that cunt paralympian who dragged himself across the airport because they lost his chair. He’s not a hero, he’s a petulant cunt. He doesn’t speak for me.

    • My beloved and I are half crips (she has a badge and everything) but I will tell you something that I saw that really surprised me.
      We have a tyre place near us and one of the guys is in a wheelchair, yep he pulls tyres off the racks and fits them (massive upper body strength) Now that is a job I didn’t expect to see done by someone in a wheelchair.

  5. “Bobble hats” Mr Fiddler? Has anyone told you the King died you moaning old rugger bugger hermit cunt

  6. Fucking French Open Tennis, the warrior is back…… Serena fucking Williams looking like a sack of shit.
    Endless fucking interviews about how hard it is to keep going.
    Thank fuck Dame Murray isnt there.

  7. I am a little confused by this whole “warrior ethic” .
    In medieval times and before people would slog it out with swords clubs ect, but (this shouldn’t surprise you ) you get hurt, the other person may be dead but you can get pretty fucked up yourself in the process.
    Modern military practice is to engage the fuckers as far away as possible to minimise your own casualties.
    I know its probably not going to make a good film and rather pisses on the “Warrior” idea but warfare by remote control is a good thing.
    Regrettably due to “Human rights issues” carpet bombing the fuckers into oblivion is not allowed, so this is the only point that the “Warrior ethos” is applied, shitty house to house fighting made interesting with booby traps thrown in.
    No its all bollocks, button pushing is much safer.

  8. The recently departed F1 racing driver, Niki Lauda, is/was a true hero given his horrendous crash and subsequent dreadful injuries. But he carried on because he more or less said “what the fuck else am I going to do?”

    And then you get “heroes” on football pitches, kicking a ball around for 90 minutes and rolling around in “agony” at every tap or push! The only payer I would have any decent respect for in that context would be Terry Butcher, and his head injury while playing for England against Sweden decades ago. He was covered in claret but still carried on playing for the rest of the game regardless.

    Fuck ’em

  9. Don’t forget, today is “international masturbation day”

    so all you wankers can knock one out with impunity today

    • I think a mass wank in Hyde Park to protest at the marginalisation of a minority(?) group would be appropriate. With banners proclaiming wankers’ rights.

    • Whatchoo talking about – EVERY day is masturbation day. My wank flannels are on constant rotation 24/7.

  10. Don’t forget those unsung heroes of the royal family. The countess of Wessex is very busy(how busy? The busiest of the busy) in Qatar today as reported by a newspaper below –

    Daily Mail
    Why Sophie is the unsung hero of the Royal Family: Low-key Countess of Wessex works tirelessly without any pomp and ceremony (and is always armed with a pair of sensible shoes).
    Dressed in a feminine knee-length frock with her hair tucked neatly in a low chignon, the Countess of Wessex was the picture of understated elegance as she dutifully carried out a string of royal engagements in Qatar today.
    Quite why the fuck she was ‘armed’ with a ‘pair of sensible shoes’ is anyone’s guess – probably to beat the shit out of any camel shagger that steps out of line.
    Don’t you just love unsung heroes?

    • Well, of course you need “sensible shoes” to pick your way through the sand, the camel shit and all the dead immo bodies from the World Cup construction works. 🧕🏽

      • “Outrageous shoes” – especially leopard-print with kitten heels are a non-starter.
        Ask Treesa…

        I shall celebrate IMD by thinking of Penny Mordaunt in black waders; also, Marine Le Pen can be fitted in quite easily. Caroline Langrishe…that’s three of my five a day.

      • Great to see the NOWSA* community, um, coming together here.

        *Narcissist, Onanist, Wanker, Self Abuser.

  11. Heroes used to be 18/19 year old kids that flew in the Battle Of Britain or dropped bombs on the Hun later on in the war. Firemen that go into burning buildings to save some cunt they don’t know – that’s heroic. Ray Holmes, Hurricane pilot that rammed a German plane after he ran out of ammunition. That’s heroic. James Nicholson, got back into his burning Hurricane after the German that shot him down overflew him and shot HIM down, badly burned but went back to flying after he recovered, awarded the VC, sadly killed later on. Now, any two-bit, fame-hungry reality-tv skid-mark and sports ‘person’ is a ‘Hero’.

    ‘Hero’ – FAR too overused nowadays.

    • Sorry but as the latest in a long line of proud cowards I have no time or sympathy for so called “war heroes”.My grandad surrendered as soon as he could in 1940 and spent 5 happy years as a POW in Germany.He actually “escaped” twice(simply walked away from the camp,once with a mate,the other time in the middle of a group of German farmers who used to trade goods every Sunday with the POWs).
      Both times he surrendered coz he realized he was better off as a POW.No fucking heroes in my family- all the males have a yellow streak proudly displayed down our backs.

  12. Harry Gregg was a hero…
    Climbed out of the burning plane on that freezing Munich airfield in 58, he then went back into the wreckage to save a pregnant woman ( a member of the airline staff) and also dragged his (still alive but injured) teammates to safety… Big H then played against Sheff Weds in a cup tie a few days later and he didn’t utter a single word about ‘stress’ or getting patted on the back… Nowadays the little cunts get ‘PTSD’ from social media trolls ‘racial abuse’ or playing too many games… Once it was Harry and Bill Foulkes (another Munich hero)… Now it’s Raheem Fucking Sterling and cunts like Lingard and Pogba… Twats….

    • I think also (and rightly so) he is still angry at the sheer recklessness of the whole expedition.The whole flight was a disaster waiting to happen. They had to get back for another ‘important’ game I think. They should never have taken off due to the conditions. They were blazing a trail to build up playing European matches. And it cost them dearly. Don’t think they were very well treated by the Edwards family either. As usual (the workjng class) just get on with it. You could argue that the ‘romance’ of Man Utd (the world success) was and is on the back of the dead Busby Babes.

      I come from the town Duncan Edwards, Tommy Taylor come from. I am sitting about a mile away from where they are buried.

  13. The way that self serving misandrist little get and peaceful apologist, Ariana Grande-Cunt gets praised as a ‘hero’ sickens me… On the night of the horrific peaceful attack at the Manchester Arena, Grande and her ‘people’ did nothing… Nothing but fuck off out of there on a private jet as quick as they could… She and her lot could have paid for people to be put up in hotels and shelled out for emergency medical treatment and the like… But they did fuck all and were more concerned with protecting their sacred (cash) cow and her bony arse…. When it’s all died down and the bodies are buried, Grande milks the publicity, does the injured wallflower bit, stages a ‘benefit concert’ (publicity raising concert more like) and she pulls the PTSD card… Yeah, PTSD from a private plane and a plush hotel miles away from the carnage… And has the talentless stick insect actually condemned those who murdered so many of her own fans (ie: the peacefuls)? Has she fuck,… Instead she has singled out white western men for stick (see her horrendous self basting ‘God Is A Woman’ video)… A hero? A heroic cunt, more like…

    • All real heroes are men(wimmin don’t like the word heroine cos of the druggie connotations.)
      The only lady hero was Grace Darling who rowed out from the Northumberland coast(I think she was a distant relative of Mr. F) in 1838 to rescue shipwrecked sailors. She had muscles like Popeye and a snatch to match.
      All ‘unsung’ heroes are women. They’re unsung because they’re not fuckin heroes.

      • I believe it was Mr F’s Uncle Remus who owned the farm in 1838. It wasn’t until the late 1800’s that the fortifications were strengthened to cope with the invading Norsemen. (I think I’ve got my history correct there.)

  14. That vomitable ad with “Heads, shoulders, cheese on toast” springs to mind. Curing tomorrow’s pimps and drug dealers.

    A small mishap with the radiation therapy…toast is served.

  15. Don’t forget us keyboard warriors. Outraged on twatter whenever anybody shows humour or an opinion that is trans/Islamo/homo/whateverfuckingelse/phobic. We also fearlessly offer violence and rape threats from the comfort of our bedrooms. And we soon sort out anyfucker who has a Christian belief.
    True warriors for the modern age.

  16. What about the battle in the boardroom. Blood on the carpet. After seeing the ‘blood on the screen’. Hastily arranged ‘conference’ (like a counsel of war). Marshalling financial forces for a ‘takeover’. Out to ‘decimate’ competitors. ‘Captains’ of industry-Sir Philip Green in his appropriately named flagship ‘Lionheart’. Mike Ashley pulling ammunition from his pocket- a wad of fifty pound notes. So much to be admired.

  17. I’d be able to take the nomination more seriously if the OP knew the context in which they use the word “intelligent” at least know what you’re cunting man.

  18. The Muslim Council of Britain has demanded the UK’s human rights watchdog to investigate accusations of Islamophobia in the Conservative Party.


    • Why doesn’t the MCB ask the United Nations to investigate torture, rape, oppression, murder, child abuse etc in their own shitty backyard, more commonly known as the Middle East!?

    • That’s because they’re investigating anti semitism in the Labour Party. Tit for tat.
      Day by day we’re gradually being divided into two opposing camps. Eventually it won’t matter if you don’t give a fuck……you’ll have to make a choice.

      • Am just waiting for the day of “My dick is bigger than your dick” phobia between the two parties!

      • Could we be grateful to the libtards in the end FtF? I mean if they push and push this LBGT teaching in schools and they make it a requirement in their Faith schools what are they going to do? They may well have to leave. How ironic.

  19. And they become “angels” when they die as the press scrapes the barrel for quotes from relatives. I used to be a hack and the worst part was visiting a family just after a member had been killed. In those pre-Instagram days the priority was to get a picture of the deceased before the competition arrived. You would sit there nodding gravely and taking notes, biding you time for the moment you asked for the pic and then grabbed it, rushed out and got back to the newsroom to meet your deadline. I´m surprised more families didn´t just tell us to fuck off as no doubt Mr F would have.

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