Munchie Boxes

Munchie Boxes.

“In this particular take on the Scottish delicacy, you get: two battered pizza slices, battered cod, two battered sausages, two battered beef burger patties, some potato fritters, onion rings, chicken nuggets and a large chips.”….all this for £10 !

What a wise way to invest the last tenner of your Giro once you’ve bought your lottery tickets,baccy and White Lightning cider. No need to fart around cooking proper meals when you can just settle down in front of your 56 inch Brighthouse telly and have a “Munchie Box” delivered to your door….and just think,the leftovers’ll do for the bairns’ breakfast in the morning.

Now I’ve got nothing against the odd takeaway,but you can just imagine the kind of person who’ll be buying this heart-attack in a greasy box. Lazy fat Cunts’ll probably be calling an ambulance on their mobile-phones when they wake up the next morning with rancid guts. Too selfish and entitled to take any self- responsibility, they think that it’s their “right” to live as they like on the taxpayers’ Pound.

Fuck them.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

32 thoughts on “Munchie Boxes

  1. I suppose the jocks can claim the onion rings are, one of my 5 a day.

    • Potato in the fritters and chips.
      Tomato puree on the pizzas and in the ketchup they’ll be leathering it in.
      Omega fish oils in the cod.
      Flour in the batter.

      And a big fat lazy cunt to scoff it all down.

      “It’s not my fault I’m fat, it’s in me’genes”
      What your fat gut’s in your jeans?

      • Always annoying that you can no longer call these fat cunts fat cunts for fear of causing grave offence to said fat cunt.

        They will always have an excuse for being a fat cunt – usually a DNA one; or the tried and trusted mental disorder; or some other made-up disorder that somehow justifies them to continue eating shit like this with impunity, and if you call them the fat greedy cunts that they really are you are condemned for being a bigoted cunt and probably arrested for yet another addition to the long list of “Hate Crime”

        Anyway, fuck all that it’s Thursday and I quite fancy a chicken madras and chips tonight!

    • …Or a box of clinical waste – sphincters, foreskins, penises.
      The haggis hangs its head in relief at not being included in this shite-box…
      Spot on cunting as ever, Dick.

  2. While pissed up at the works Christmas party someone said it was impossible to eat four crackers in a minute without a drink, so I thought I’d give it a try.
    Was doing well until half way through cracker number three when I started choking on a plastic moustache and a paper hat….

  3. Battered pizza? Dear god, not even the Jocks would eat battered pizza.

    • I had battered Scotch pies in Jedburgh one night on the way back from the rugby. The fucking things must have combined with the drink in my gut and set hard. A whole new experience shitting solid snooker-ball sizes lumps of congealed battered pie amongst a stream of liquid Guinness shit.

      Afternoon CC.

  4. You see the types everywhere that eat this shite everyday… Fat funny shaped bitches with a few kids, hair that looks like they have put chip fat in it. I actually saw a tribe of these cunts abaaaaaht an hour ago…two fat cows one pushing a pram and her mate/Aunty or whoever lagging a few paces behind and her legs brushed against each other as she walked… She looked out of breath and sweaty, probably see the same fat bitch in a few months time outside the hospital, tubes everywhere and puffing on a fag at 9am in her hospital clothes.
    It doesn’t help that it’s cheaper to eat shite these days than actually cook yourself a healthy meal from scratch. Get some self respect you cunts.
    I’ll be off living somewhere else when I am an old cunt… and not paying for these cunts self inflicted illnesses with my taxes. Top cunting.

    • The industrial estate where I work is on the route from the local sink estate and the town center so throughout the day there is a constant stream of absolutely dregs. Fat slags with multiple kids by multiple dads, them strange looking skinny runts who’s only contribution to the world is more fucking kids. It would be great fun to mount a couple of. 050″ caliber machine guns on the roof and just rack up the points by mowing the scum down. 10 points per kid 50 points per skinny cunt, and a full 100 points for the landwhale. Multi score bonuses available.

  5. You could scrape up the left over grease and sauce with your used scratchcard and wash it down with that last mouthful of Kestrel Super.

  6. That made me hungry, I am no longer welcome in our local Kebab establishment after telling the owner to fuck himself for talking down to me, shame because I had nobbled the chief and used to get extra large portions for the price of a large.
    No more lamb shish with lemon juice for me

    • I ended up with a KFC bargain bucket, I wasn’t impressed and had the shits this morning.

  7. I would take that box and scoff the lot in front of the vegan ecowarriors in London and make them cry.
    A couple of the cunts have glued themselves to Catweazle’s garden fence. That’s the spirit…… take it to the cunts with the power!

    • They have targeted Rees-Mogg too, he had to use the servants entrance across from the moat at the rear of the South Wing tower to get in.

  8. Fat whiteys are one thing, but it’s the fat starving immigrants I can’t get my head around. Or am I just a thick oxy moron.

  9. When shown the picture above and asked her opinion on such cuisine Dianne Abbott said “I don’t normally have a starter”

  10. Maybe it’s due to the climate. On the odd time it turned cold in London, I looked with great amusement at the fashionably anorexic women (and men) as they turned purple in the low temperatures. Women in the Highlands seem to turn to nature for insulation and there are some proper land whales in my locale.

  11. Deep fried pizza? jesus that sounds gross pizza is unhealthy as it is but battered pizza is ensuring yourself that you won’t only get a instant sore stomach but increased chance at a heart attack from all the nasty saturated fats and oils

    All fried food expires at a ultra fast rate and losses the crispy texture within a hr of cooking so you get soggy chips an rings by the time youstuff it in your mouth hole save youself the dosh and just punch yourself in th gut instead

  12. I know of people who would gladly order and savour this box of shite as if it were fillet steak.

  13. It’s cunts like me and my crewmate working ourselves into an early grave carrying these Greggs-Positive cunts downstairs to our ambulance, slipping on the takeaway wrappers on the way down. And half the fucking time they have no shame.

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