Temporary Traffic Lights

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Temporary traffic lights.

These bastard things need no introduction, and everyone knows they are a cunt. What pisses me off is that yet again, my village is under siege from these effing things, and not content with just having the lights controlling traffic, we now have pedestrian crossings installed with them too! So, is it the fact that these cunts make you sit there 20 times longer than any other traffic light system even when no other twat is there for the green light making my blood boil? No, it’s the fact that I wish I was the cunt that invented the damn things so I could get rich off everyone’s suffering of them.
I guess I’m cunting myself. Oh well, plenty enough call me a grumpy cunt.

Nominated by The Eternally Grumpy Cunt

31 thoughts on “Temporary Traffic Lights”

  1. Councils really need to impose some rules around these things:
    1) warning signs so that drivers can take another route or leave earlier
    2) signs explaining how long the works will last.

    Here in West Sussex the bloody things pop up and we have no fecking idea how long we are going to be inconvenienced. Have I written to the council to suggest this, er no.

    • The ones that make me so annoyed are the ones that are for a collapsed drain in the gutter or a bit of ditch work five yards long.
      Absolutely no need for temporary lights unless it’s somewhere like marble arch with almost non stop traffic. On a daily basis anyone that’s a regular user of our road network will have to avoid potholes, ditches where gutters should be etc and we don’t need lights to do that.
      But the good old council have a budget to spend and an agenda to keep to of annoying motorists to the point of giving up their cars and spending their money on overpriced public transport so the council officials get their back handers.

  2. I once hired a set when we were dismantling a large beech-tree next to a road on a blind corner. Several of the larger chogs were to be left overnight, until we could deal with them, in one lane of the road,all coned off and protected by the traffic-lights. Shame that I forgot to check the diesel in the jenny that powered them…apparently there was hell on the next morning with cars and wagons having to reverse to let each other through.
    I left the lads to it and Fucked Off for my breakfast until the dust settled.

    • Morning Fiddler, sounds like a true delegator, beloved of jobsworth traffic management desk jockeys across the land.

  3. Apologies

    Off track.

    A £1.6bn government fund has been launched to boost less well-off towns in England after Brexit.

    The pot is split into £1bn, divided in England using a needs-based formula, and £600m communities can bid for.

    More than half of the money, to be spread over seven years, will go to the north of England and the Midlands.

    Labour called it a bribe to influence MPs to back the PM’s Brexit deal and critics say it does not cover cuts to local authority funding.

    As much as au detest Labour thats exactly what it is. All too predictably pathetic by the Tories. Having to try and buy votes again with money the government apparently does not have for vital services.

    Too little too late May. And you can be sure once she gets the bit the decision will be reversed or watered down. Useless bitch.

    • You’d have thought the Remoaning Labour MPs would be gagging to vote for May’s treacherous EU dictated Deal.

      Trapped in the Customs Union in perpetuity… £39 billion down payment to keep their failing political project on the road for another 5 years etc… what’s not to like?

      Oh yeah, it’s a ‘Tory Brexit’. Silly me.

      • Exactly what a commentator said on Politics Live just now, two labour MPs …. Oh no, we cant rust the PM, she could be gone, what about workers rights…..
        Well the backstop ensures it will be a soft brexit, doesnt matter who is in No. 10

    • I read somewhere that Fatty Soames (described as an arch-remainer, fuck me he’d need a few flying buttresses to prop him up), will stand down so that Elmer Fudd can be shoehorned into his safe-seat constituency, with a view to her taking over from Mavis.
      It would be funny if this happened, and everybody decided to vote UKIP.

      Fudd should be fed to Mr. Fiddler’s hounds. If, indeed, she is passed as fit for canine consumption; I have my doubts.

    • We would have enough money to fund these towns anyway if we stopped spending exorbitant amounts on jihadis and benefits scrounging Kyle scum who can’t be asked to work.

  5. It’s that time of year when the councils around the country have to get rid of their spare change at the end of their financial year. I’m stuck in some roadworks now .cunts the lot of them.

  6. I see there’s money for an MP’s pay rise though, putting them close to £80k, most of which they can save, as everything else in their lives appears to be paid for by us mugs….

  7. Morning miscreants.

    Anyone have Keith Flint in the pool? Met him once, nice fella.

  9. Is it me or do these traffic lights seem to appear for the slightest thing these days?? I spotted some t’other day because someone was repairing a wall next to the pavement next to the road.. Instead of folk crossing over the road iy was deemed more effective to have half the traffic stop for a good while… Cunts…

  11. A mile away from here a set of temporarys were erected 2 weeks ago and will remain until late April. They’re close to a roundabout and of course the predictable mayhem is very infuriating.

    The purpose? “To construct a 200 yard £900k extension to the town cycleway”!!! That’s NINE HUNDRED THOUSAND QUID!!!

    You guessed it, this is the same Council cunts who can’t afford to maintain even basic statutory services, don’t fill in any potholes or re-tarmac public footpaths!!

    Lycra cunts prefer to block the public highway 3 abreast anyway and won’t, repeat won’t use it!!

    You can be 100% certain that May’s billions in bungs to Labour Councils will be frittered away on similar so-called ‘improvements.’ Or on all-expense paid Fact Finding trips to Venezuela.

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