Fat Birds in Leggings.
I’m no expert on women’s fashion, I just have an opinion on what looks good and what doesn’t. Leggings do not look good. The first time I saw a woman wearing them, I thought she’d forgotten to put a skirt on.
Plain leggings are bad enough. They look doubly bad when embellished with an esoteric design, or with studs or chains. Or when they’re cut off at shin length.
Undoubtedly however, leggings look grotesque on fat birds. There’s a woman who works in our local newsagents who’s about five foot two and about 22 or 23 stone, more than two of me. She wears black leggings that perpetually appear about to split, stretched as they are over thighs like giant hams and an arse like a monstrous peach. They’re so tight that they’re effectively see-through, giving us all a view of the equally ludicrous thong she wears underneath. Worst of all is that when the weather’s warm, we’re treated to the sight of the dark, moist patch of material around the top of her arse crack. It’s not a pretty sight, and there’s a lot of other lumps in leggings waddling and wobbling about.
Now some may accuse me of fat shaming, but that’s not my intention. I don’t care if there are women who want to go about like this, I merely wish to offer them a word to the wise. Leggings look cheap and chavvy as it is. Leggings plus morbid obesity does not a good ‘look’ make. Do yourselves a favour and lose the flab ladies; you’ll look and feel better, I’m sure. If you continue to wear leggings you’ll still look bad, but at least you won’t look like a fucking beached whale. The only place that a fat bird in leggings looks good is………………….in the distance.
Nominated by Ron Knee