Fat Birds In Leggings

Fat Birds in Leggings.
I’m no expert on women’s fashion, I just have an opinion on what looks good and what doesn’t. Leggings do not look good. The first time I saw a woman wearing them, I thought she’d forgotten to put a skirt on.
Plain leggings are bad enough. They look doubly bad when embellished with an esoteric design, or with studs or chains. Or when they’re cut off at shin length.
Undoubtedly however, leggings look grotesque on fat birds. There’s a woman who works in our local newsagents who’s about five foot two and about 22 or 23 stone, more than two of me. She wears black leggings that perpetually appear about to split, stretched as they are over thighs like giant hams and an arse like a monstrous peach. They’re so tight that they’re effectively see-through, giving us all a view of the equally ludicrous thong she wears underneath. Worst of all is that when the weather’s warm, we’re treated to the sight of the dark, moist patch of material around the top of her arse crack. It’s not a pretty sight, and there’s a lot of other lumps in leggings waddling and wobbling about.
Now some may accuse me of fat shaming, but that’s not my intention. I don’t care if there are women who want to go about like this, I merely wish to offer them a word to the wise. Leggings look cheap and chavvy as it is. Leggings plus morbid obesity does not a good ‘look’ make. Do yourselves a favour and lose the flab ladies; you’ll look and feel better, I’m sure. If you continue to wear leggings you’ll still look bad, but at least you won’t look like a fucking beached whale. The only place that a fat bird in leggings looks good is………………….in the distance.

Nominated by Ron Knee

29 thoughts on “Fat Birds In Leggings

  1. Fuck me, from the looks of the one in the picture it’d have to be some distance before you lose sight of her.

  2. Moggie63 I’m sure voyager1 can still capture an image of the lump in the picture

  3. It’s all about empowerment – women can wear what the fuck they want, and if you dare criticize they’ll cut your balls off!

    Of course on the flip side, if a man whistles at an attractive tart, then that’s demeaning and sexist!

    So you’re fucked both ways.

    But yeah, fat cunts wearing tight fitting Lycra has a sick irony about it, that would be totally lost on said fat cunt.

  4. Leggings can look good, terribly good, on the correct lady but not a salad-dodger. These are the same bovine hippos who wear shorts or mini-skirts in the arrogant belief that there’s no such thing as a beach body. Erm, I beg to fucking differ.

    Which reminds me:
    A man and woman are watching a tv programme about fashion in the 1960s.
    Woman: I’m going to buy myself a mini.
    Man: You’re joking! You’ll never fit your fat arse into one of them
    Woman: Cheeky bastard! I was talking about the car.
    Man: So was I.

    • At the petrol station yesterday I was treated to some ruskie or polish wife in leggings. Indeed with the right butt they work miracles, and it takes a miracle not to reach out for a quick fondle.

      • She might’ve been a “Bakula” though, BCC.

        Great from the back, Dracula from the front.

  5. A timely cunting, considering this is International Wimmins Day, and as you can imagine, Radio 4 is in festive mood. I am sure even their men are in drag today.

    Just a few days ago I was in a train compartment with a jumbo sized woman who in addition to wearing leggins had woollen leg warmers over them and big boots. She was coughing her guts out and sneezing which made her even more undesirable. Why do they want to make such an arse of themselves – literally?

    I’ve been away most of the week, and even though Chez Boggs isn’t ideal, it’s a bloody site better than some of the chavs and their palaces I have had the misfortune of seeing. No doubt they would blame their condition on Brexit 🙂

  6. Oi Mr Knee! You leave fat people alone! I love them. I love to watch them thumping their way down the road, making the earth shake. I love to see them inappropriately dressed, thinking that they look good (they don’t). I love to watch them eat, just for the sheer size of the mound of food. I don’t watch much TV. I watch fat people. And as for fat shaming – piss off! In less enlightened times, my old boyfriend would be driving along and wind down his window if he saw a fatty and yell “Porky” at them. Happy days.

    • Go on one of those coupon holidays advertised in red tops. My brother went on a couple in his twenties. The catering at the site will give you hours of entertainment if you want to see the obese licking gravy from their forearms.

  7. You should see these cunts out in a beer garden on a hot summer’s night!

    not only can you see sweat stains, but also piss stains on their Lycra when they return from the ladies bogs. I even saw saw some fat drunken cunt with a skid mark on her white leggings – even though she was completely oblivious

  8. Its like the Michelin Man shagged a Teletubby and produced Serena Williams. I wouldn’t say that to the she-beasts face though, not on International Wimminz Day.

    • Fuck international wimminz day, she would pull your face off and bathe in your blood any given day.

  9. A rather voluptuous young lady in leggings dropped something on the floor in tesco and bent over to pick it up.
    The leggings were a little overstressed as it was and as she bent over the fabric at the reinforced gusset had obviously suffered the effect was like her minge was peppered with fly eggs, not a pleasant site I can tell you.

  10. Reminds me of Byker. Every fat slag in Shell Suits. Remember them ? Well the fuckers still wear them to this very day !

  11. It’s that tub of shit from Sir Limplys’ nom about flashers, dressed up for a night on the lambrini. Or, Katie Price in two years.

    • I’ve struggled to regain my appetite since confronted by the sight of that bare arsed battleship GJ. Not an arousing sight for sure.

      • Indeed, I was wondering how much scrumpy jacks your average chav would have to drive into his guts to find that fuckable. Because, guaranteed someone has. I bet she uses window cleaner tools to wash her arse. Or, more likely, doesn’t bother.

  12. Robbie the robot (from ‘Forbidden Planet’, for those who don’t know wtf I’m on about).

    I bet she would crackle and spit well if used for a ‘guy’ on Nov 5th.

  13. Nothing wrong with lithe young dance students in leggings and crop tops, leaving college with their delightful derrieres and exposed, toned midriffs.

    The Jabbas that waddle up to the local primary school though… nothing peach-like there. Arse, belly and tits like plasticine.

    • Mmmm CP; you’ve got me thinking that I should retract this cunting, at least in part!

Comments are closed.