Abandoning supermarket trolleys

I’ve decided to take a very brief break from political cuntings to focus on something closer to home that boils my piss just as much, lazy cunts at supermarkets who don’t take their trolleys back to the trolley stands that are all over the fucking car parks at these places. Mrs McGraw and I called into our local Asda this morning, 27th December), to replenish our stock of festive supplies. We packed it all into the old Chelsea Tractor, got in, and then, ‘bang’.

The car park at our Asda is built on a shallow hill. But it’s just steep enough for a trolley to roll down if some lazy cunt leaves it in an empty parking space, instead of in the trolley stand, with the other trolleys. Which is what happened here. Some ignorant cow had been loading her car up in the next but one space up from ours, then just let it go and started to get into her car. It hit my near side rear door, but fortunately, there was no damage. She knew she’d done it, because she turned and looked when she heard the bang. Didn’t give a fuck. Neither did I, when I retrieved the trolley, walked up to her car, gently nudged the front of the offside front wing, and then carefully left the trolley balanced against one the spotlights on her front bumper. I then suggested she might like to take the time to replace the trolley whence she found it, instead of being an ignorant cunt and letting it hit someone else’s car.

She seemed somewhat put out at this, obviously she was incredibly busy thinking only of herself. But did I give a fuck? No. Cunts like her are fucking parasites. I’ve been seeing this quite a lot in the last year or so, and I’m already mightily pissed off with it. I can’t remember the last time I tried looking for an empty space in a supermarket car park, only to find that some selfish, ignorant sack of monkey shit has left their trolley in it, instead of putting it back with where it lives.

There should be a law allowing us to batter cunts like this, with shopping trolleys, until it sinks in that not returning trolleys is selfish, ignorant and makes you a sack of monkey shit.

A surprisingly non-political cunting by Quick Draw McGraw

27 thoughts on “Abandoning supermarket trolleys

  1. I’m a reformed trolley abuser, I must confess.

    These days I always return them to the store place or give them to another shopping patron on-route to the paradise that is tesco. I even say hi to the trolley man with learning difficulties.

    However, the past is dark. Many trolleys have been abandoned miles from the supermarket, wheel lock battered to shit for inconveniencing me. Others were sent on a wayward journey into a ditch or brick wall. Some poor bastards were even forced to jump down the central stairwells of local car parks, several floors straight down onto hard concrete, sparking off the sides as they went.

    Forgive me lord.

  2. Couldn’t agree more.

    I think it high time that honest, upright, law abiding citizens were enlisted and empowered to assist our over-stretched polizei, starting with the low-level, anti-social behaviour that is dragging us down.

    A bit like being a Prefect at a posh school.

    Anyone who meets certain ‘decency’ criteria: clean driving licence, speaks English, doesn’t hide behind a hoodie of any sort, isn’t fitted with a tag, has at least 5 x nominations on ISAC etc, etc, should be issued with a proper powerful Taser and encouraged, nay obliged, to zap ignorant fuckers like this.

    Tasers to be fitted with cameras and the footage posted on Faceybook or YouthTube (to shame the cunts and negate the usual “What was that for?” when I shove their discarded Burger cartons up under their nose).

    As a bonus, and while they are lying on the ground twitching and dribbling, you can take their trolley back and pocket the pound coin.

  3. Excellent cunting, Sir. It’s more about attitude than shopping trollies, though, isn’t it? Fat, useless, lazy heifers like that, too wrapped up in their own self-importance to do the decent thing and put the trolley back is the tip of the fucking iceberg where they’re concerned though. ‘White lines’? Oh, I can’t possibly park my vehicle between two lines, can I? Why, you useless cunt? They weren’t moving from side to side when you were parking, were they? But, as long as you have a parking space, eh? I drive an older car that I don’t give a fuck about and make a point of parking so they can’t squeeze their fat arses into their own oversize vehicle. (Like owner like car in their case). And when you point out their blinkered selfishness they look at YOU as though you’re the one at fault!! Cunts!!! They’re the fat cunts that park in ‘Ambulance Only’ bays in the A&E at hospitals too as though it’s their God-given right and look at you, when you tell them to move as you have a sick patient on board and they’re not allowed to park there, as though you haven’t got the right to look at them, let alone speak to them. I always ask them why they didn’t park on the heli-pad if their journey is more important than mine. Arrogant, selfish cunts, sadly representing the ‘Me, Me’ parasitical society we’re becoming.

    • I’m a fat cunt myself so I generally park towards the left line to leave myself room to get out, but I ALWAYS park in between the lines which, for some ignorant cunts, don’t appear to be be wide enough to park their huge Nissan Micra’s. If I see some cunt in a Range Rover (other tanks are available) who parks over the line I will make sure I park so close to their driver’s side (still within the lines, mind you) that fucking Twiggy would need crow-barring into the car.

      • “If I see some cunt in a Range Rover (other tanks are available) who parks over the line I will make sure I park so close to their driver’s side (still within the lines, mind you) that fucking Twiggy would need crow-barring into the car.”

        An attribute that does you credit, Sir!

      • I get genuinely pissed off by the ‘I’m special because I drive a big car’ attitude of some cunts that pay less VED for their £100k tank than I have to pay for my 17 year old Ford Focus and expect to get ‘special’ treatment. Well, from me they do. They can fucking well wait until I get back or they can climb all over the inside from the passenger side.

  4. Good point, well made.

    Can I add a supplemental cunting for lazy twats who just launch their trolleys into the trolley stands with no care about where they land up? 5 fucking trolleys abandoned like that in a Tesco trolley bay and you can’t get any more of the cunts in!

  5. A bit off-piste but similarly lazy twats who don’t put bagged up dog shit in the designated crap bin. I don’t know if this is a phenomenon local to me , I suspect not but we have a large bush off the tourist trail down a quite lane where the fabled ‘Hanging Bags of Dog Shit’ is located.

    Nobody quite knows when this quaint practice started, shrouded in local village folklore, practiced by some members of the local dog walking community. Maybe they sacrifice a village child on Midsummer in honour of the Great Jobbie and string fairy lights up at Christmas to bring festive cheer. Whatever, like trollies stop being a cunt. Ps I know not all dog owners are inconsiderate arseholes just the few who give everyone else a bad rep.

  6. The one thing that grinds my gears are the tossers who are incapable of putting the correct trolley inside the one parked up. You see cunts trying to force one of the full size trolleys into the smaller/disabled trolleys.

    What then happens is that trolley bay becomes full with haphazardly parked trolleys, which then spill out into the adjacent road. It really isn’t that fucking hard.

  7. A top cunting. This used to steam my freshly developed piss as well, until I adopted the lazy cunt (but also superb) way of ordering groceries online and having them delivered. Saves the time and hassle of fart arsing around in supermarkets with obese cunts in spacker-chariots with the wheels groaning and steaming under the deadweight, old giffers with their coupons and having to put up with screaming snot-nosed bastard cunt kids and their fucking spacehopper hippy progressive parents jizzing over the quorn sausages.

    The thing that always put my shit in a vice at supermarkets, was the typical mumsnet 4×4 blonde school-running Jacinta types, in their Hunter wellies and Joules riding bollocks, fucking arfing-on in the Prosecco section about little Harriet Linguini’s riding lesson or little Poppy Kitson’s first pony like it’s some cunting middle class social pissing contest.

    These types usually hate each other, but love to try and claim bragging rights, just because they have six cars on the driveway, but fuck-all in the fridge. I don’t give a frosted fuck. I just want some brew and milk, and not having to push their overloaded trolley out the way in the middle of the aisle.

    It’s tempting to push an entire shelf-length of Durex Stopabrat into their trolley to suggest the halt of an ever-onward march of future self entitled offended snowflake cunts from happening. What a carry on.

    • Why mingle with the hoards when you don’t have too. Plus if you order on line and they don’t have the item you ordered in stock, you get the next best item . I.e a twelve pack of Weetabix is ordered but they don’t have any on the premises, so they replace it with a twenty four pack. Online shopping is the way forward.

  8. Woe betide you look at one of these self entitled cunts a bit funny much less comment on their ignorant behaviour as you’re likely to get a screaming banshee swearing she’s been assaulted/offended blah blah.
    We just have to take a deep breath and carry on i’m afraid. Great is’nt it?

    • Had a go at some fat bint that nearly drove into the back of our motor the other day. SHE started gobbing off in her Land Rover Freelander about us moving, despite us indicating and reversing into a space prior to her arrival. I just sauntered up and she wound her window up bar the last inch and said that we weren’t indicating – a member of the public told her we were as she was watching, that REALLY pissed her off – so I asked her what she was looking at instead of the road: ‘Looking at the size of you, it was probably a menu’, I retorted! Stupid, self-entitled, spoilt cunt, not used to being challenged and her ‘I can shout louder than you’ didn’t work.

  9. I recall a particularly prestigious housing estate that I used to deliver too for Argos that had a number of shopping trolleys in front gardens that seemed to be used as incinerators

  10. They are utter cunts, lazy bastards and selfish twats. Good cunting.

    Whilst on the subject, I would also like the oppurtunity to cunt those immature, infantile dickheads who jog with / push their trolley and then lift their feet up so they glide uncontrollably through the aisles. Usually carried out by young, pond scum adults wearing knackered trakkie bottoms with several kids in tow. Grow up, set a good example for your equally stupid offspring and have some consideration for other people, you fucking retards.

  11. We used the corned beef key dodge in Osnabruck on the trollys at Lidl’s Supermarket filled the car then gave someone else the trolly fuck em

  12. Fucking bang on cunting QDM.

    I can concur with pretty much everything on this nom.

    I’ve had several cars damaged by these very cunts yet have never been there to catch the bastards.

    As such I’ve started to park my car as far away from the entrance as possible and guess fucking what, when i return there’s always at least one cunt that’s parked next to me, despite loads of spaces available
    much closer to the entrance.

    What the fucking fuck is that about.

    • That fucking baffles me, too. Popped into our local Tesco on the way to work to get a sandwich for lunch early one morning, mine’s the only fucking car in the car park. Come out and there’s some fucking arsehole shoe-horning his fat arse out of his car, parked right next to mine. In the empty fucking car park. I actually made the cunt move and berated him on his choice of parking spaces until I remembered I was in my green uniform with NHS Ambulance Service written on it!!! to be fair to the cunt, he didn’t complain to the Trust! Like you said, What the fucking fuck is that about?

  13. Slightly off topic.

    Popped into a Tesco a few miles away. A big one with a huge car park.

    Decided to park in the car park as far away from the store as I could and not near any other cars. In fact probably the only car in the row.

    Sitting in the car, a large 4×4 drew up and parked immediately next to me although there were at leat 10 spaces either side of me.

    A young woman with rap music blaring for several minutes which pissed me off considerably. What fucked me off even more was when she decided to get out, opened her door and clipped myvwing mirror. Stupid fucking bitch.

    She said without looking, it’s ok, nothing has been damaged. I got out, check and lost it a bit. Thankfully no danage. But some fucking people are selfish thick as shit inconsiderate tiny brained cunts.

    • That would have been another case for the Yale Key of Justice, Willie, normally reserved for Disabled Bay abusers.

  14. ASDA shoppers need a cunting in general, and I’ve nearly been tempted to do a nomination. I like ASDA these days because a lot of its produce is good and cheaper than the competition. The only problem is that ASDA attracts some utter low life cunts. I noticed this when I lived in North London. My local ASDA was big and decent, but the clientele were awful, especially the simians and sand people. They would be rude, ignorant and, to make my piss boil, treat the produce like shit. I would see the pillar box brigade pick soft fruit, say, then toss it down if it wasn’t to their liking. The other favourite is abandoning chosen, then unwanted, food in other parts of the supermarket. They are too stupid to realise that this costs them money in the long run. Likewise with the abandoned trolleys and litter – somebody has to be employed to pick it up.

    Fast forward to now, and my local ASDA is on the Moray coast. Worth the travel from my Highland resort, especially for the diesel. But yet again, some of the clientele are utter cunts. Same sorts of behaviour.

    I wish I could say that Waitrose is on the other end of this spectrum, but no. Waitrose is full of self-important middle class cunts and cunty millenials – the Chelsea tractor brigade. Christ, British people are awful aren’t they?

    I’m in a bad mood because, after my evening swim, I was walking along the corridor to the exit of the leisure centre to see the central part of the corridor block by a bunch of teenagers gathered round a lad with a cuntphone. The lad glanced up, but, as usual, the cuntphone mentality over ruled common courtesy and they didn’t move. I shouted “look up from your phone, Cunt”, on which command he moved out of the way a little, barely acknowledging my presence. I’m glad my generation and my parent’s generation has utterly fucked this country for millennials.

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