“I’m autistic, aint I”

People who, on a whim, diagnose themselves with autism are cunts.

There seems to be a growing number of people who fail to understand that if they don’t practice things they’ll never get good at them. Then, realising they are shit at something, they give up and proclaim “I must have autism”, or “I must be on the spectrum”.
On the spectrum of what, inconsiderate stupidity?

This is fucked up right? How on earth is imagining a disorder like this on a whim acceptable?
I have asked several people now about their new found symptoms and I have found myself marvelling at a statistical miracle – every single one is higher functioning and had their diagnosis confirmed by the presence of OCD.

Now, I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure washing your hands after each toilet visit is not OCD.
There is also further evidence – the claim that they “must be on the spectrum” because they have failed to recognise how someone else is feeling (I know, I know).

Again, I’m no doctor, but based on this conversation alone I think I can see the problem – er, you’re not fucking listening. To anybody.

This phenomenon of exaggerating small things as a way of self associating with illness is remarkably thoughtless and selfish. But it’s spreading.

It probably has more to do with made in chelsea than it does with biological illness.

Nominated by Cuntflap

36 thoughts on ““I’m autistic, aint I”

  1. Listen you fucking cunt, i’ve got fucking Tourette’s o fucking k?
    Any cunt says I fucking haven’t can go and fucking fuck himself the fucking wanker. Fuck you.

    • “What do we want?”
      “That Tourettes is accepted as a legitimate neurological condition and not something as an object of ridicule.”
      “When do we want it?”

  2. Autism is so trendy. Never hear anyone claim they’re a spastic, mongoloid, or retarded.

    Partially spastic. Just try it on for size, see if it works.

    • Backward. That’s always been my favourite way to describe. I just hope the thought police don’t come after me now that I’ve said that.

    • In schools it seems a ‘one size fits all’ diagnosis, at one time it was just called being a badly behaved little cunt.

  3. I was medically diagnosed with it at the age of 4 after months of tests and evaluations. I have mentioned my brother on here a fair few times before. These ‘self-diagnosis’ people are cunts who are just trying to use autism to gain social and victim points.

    • Oh, and the people who use it as an excuse for bad behaviour can fuck off too. I was a nasty kid when I was younger – I knew exactly what I was fucking doing and being autistic was no excuse.

    • Around here, students use that shit (and ADHD and PTSD – can’t forget those) to get ‘accommodations’ like carrying their fucking animals around with them everywhere or taking a full fucking semester to complete their assignments, etc. Some bitch chemistry major – who was a generally disagreeable, unreliable, unlikeable cunt to begin with – tried to make a federal case out of her cunting emotional support dog not being allowed in a lab; then accused the institution of retaliation when no senior faculty would sponsor her or some shit. Anyway, the bitch got denied and I was proud of my federal government for a fleeting moment.

      • These leftists have hijacked stuff like autism, PTSD and other mental disabilities for their own ends just for the sake of having yet another cause celebre to feel good about celebrating and it makes me sick.

  4. Being an ignorant Cunt, I just ask them if that means that they’re a registered “Monga”, that normally silences them.

    Fuck Off.

    • Afternoon Mr F.
      I used to work for a certain plane manufacturer and we had an Indian fella there named “Daljit Singh Monga”. Having access to the global email address list, there were many hilarious names, of whom my favourite was Serge Labia.
      So given all this Brexit bollocks, how soon (in your opinion) will Malteser-headed Sajid Javid be Prime Minister?

      • I’m guessing that May will remain in place until the Brexit “deal” is signed off, May will resign and Javid will take over as Leader.Notice how he is not getting dragged into it,one way or another. He will be the candidate to “unite” the divided Country and Tory party.

        As long as it’s not fucking Johnson, they can have whoever they want as far as I’m concerned. The thought of him,or that utter Cunt Cameron making a return as Foreign Secretary will have me scouting out a book-depository window with a good view of their motorcade.

        Afternoon, Mr. Cunt-Engine

      • Don’t forget to have an assistant carefully concealed on a suitable “grassy knoll”


      • For a long time now I’ve thought that this is a long-term plan to get Labour into power so they’ll bankrupt the country, forcing us to go crawling back to the EU/IMF, whereupon we will immediately adopt the Euro and every single concession they want.

      • Bankrupting this country was successfully completed years ago. A succession of Govts. of all hues have seen to that.

      • How can a bloke with a name like Sajid Javid unite our country? And what exactly is a non-practising muslim? You’re either a muslim or you’re not, mate. If you’re not, don’t call yourself one.

      • A non-practicing Muslim is someone who was brought up as a Muslim but is indifferent to (or couldn’t give a fuck about) the faith otherwise.

        A better way to describe them would be secular Muslims, as in secular Christians, secular Jews, etc. I was brought up in a nominally Christian household, but would describe myself now as a secular Atheist.

        The missus is a secular Hindu.

        Fuck Religion.

      • Afternoon Dick… Mr Cunt Engine… Mr B.

        I’m rooting for Priti Patel for Leader, J-RM for Chancellor, and Philip Davies for Home Secretary.

        Who he?

        Davies labels Parliament as “well out of touch with public opinion on virtually everything”, going on to say PC among the nation’s elected representatives “is the worst it’s ever been in my time there… just listen to the debates and the views expressed… Parliament is massively over-represented by hard-line feminists.”

  5. Off topic but the early bird does get the worm. Nothing like getting up and kicking some ass, it feels like having an extra bollock. Get up you lazy cunts and get on with it, even if you ain’t got a job… Get on with something. The cunts.

    • Ah, but we night owls can work into the wee small hours undistracted by the smiley cunts putting a brave face on having been got up by the sprogs at 0430 hrs, the mummies jogging to Pilates, next door having his roof rebuilt and the procession of 4-WD tanks grinding to and from school and work. All gone by 1800 and the day can begin… and when dawn comes, you can see all of it.

      The early bird gets only the bird from me.

  6. I self diagnosed as a cunt. Took me about three seconds. Since then I’ve had second, third, fourth…….nth opinions.

    I really can’t imagine being anything else.

    Who would want NOT to be thought of as a cunt by snowflakes, arse bandits, transwarp Borg drones, carpet munching cat piss stinking bullet headed mongrels in dungarees and fuck knows what other horrors the LBTQEIEIO freak show island of Dr B-liar might throw up.

    I wear my cuntitude with pride. I’m a cunt and let no cunt tell you otherwise.

    I give you the immortal stirring words of Henry the cunt:

    We few (actually rather a lot), we happy few, we bunch of cunts,
    For he that is a cunt shall be my brother (except the cunts cunted here of course); be he ne’er so vile.
    And gentlemen in England now not a cunt shall think themselves accursed that they are not cunts, and hold their cunthood cheap while any cunts that cunt with us upon St Cuntspin’s day

    Kenneth Branagh, now he is a cunt.

  7. In my expert opinion, Appeaser May is severely autistic. Apart from her emotional detachment she’s a regular little Rain Woman when it comes to lying.

    Most politicians are clearly autistic. They have enormous difficulty in answering the simplest of questions. Their answers often have zero relevance to the question as asked… always assuming they understand the question in the first place, which is not very often.

  8. Anyone who self diagnoses as autistic or ‘on the spectrum’ is a despicable cunt.
    My friends had an autistic child. It was heartbreaking to see and eventually he died aged 11, after a lifetime of fits and tantrums. He was never coherent as we would understand it.
    It would not be wise for any trendy cunt to make these claims anywhere near me.

  9. It makes a mockery of people who are genuinely afflicted by this condition.

    The number of cunts who protest that their kids are autistic or have ass-burgers when they are basically naughty little cunts who they have no control over is unreal.

    Then – when you challenge them on the diagnosis – you get: “Oh we haven’t had them officially diagnosed because that would affect their placement in school.”

    Oh, so we’ll just take your word for it then and grant you a “get out of jail free card” every time the little “treasures” kick off?

    Yeah right! Get fucked cunts!

  10. Met a woman once who told me her son was autistic. I said “Is he a sculptor from Newcastle?”

  11. Doesn’t matter about placements at mainstream schools, in fact if you have a special educational need you get bumped to the top of the over subscription criteria – guaranteed a place.

    You can then disrupt fucking lessons and take resources away from children that want to learn. Integration doesn’t work, wherever you apply it.

  12. The autistic spectrum does exist and there are many people out there affected by it. The problem is that there are too many people claiming to be affected by it when the simple truth is they are talking shite.

    A bit like flu/man flu.

  13. Or mothers who diagnose their kid because he’s a bit quiet and shows an interest in books, while she can never stop prattling.

  14. Same syndrome as the ‘I’m trans-gender, I’ve just decided ‘cos it seems like a good idea’ crowd. Don’t worry, I’m sure that within 5 years there will be an Autism network similar to the trans-gender industry available.

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