For my debut cunting, I would like to nominate: Breeders.
Now, before any parents start getting their knickers in a twist, I’m not generalising breeders as a whole, I’m not referring to “normal” parents, the types that discipline their children when it is required, raise them correctly, teach them manners, keep them out of the way of others, etc – I’m talking about these modern-day cunts, these limp-wristed, shaggy-haired, Labour-voting, Guardian-reading, stay-at-home, beta male, dad cucks, with their comfortable sandles, poxy checkshirts and cargo shorts, driving around in a fucking Nissan Qushqai, complete with a “Baby on Board” sign in the back, with his dowdy, frumpy, tired, frizzy-haired excuse of a woman, on the way to the nearest city or town for lunch at Giraffe Cafe, a browse, a shitty Costa Coffee (Mummy and Daddy have been up all night too, you know) and a Babychino for the little prick, and to chit-chat with other miserable fucks of the same description. “It’s great being a parent, isn’t it? I don’t miss chasing my dream, being creative, travelling, having a ton of expendable cash and freedom, non siree, not at all. I love getting up three times a night, changing shitty nappies, watching kids TV and playing with a plastic xylophone. When the kids are asleep, I log on to my sad social media page to call people I’ve never met racists and bigots. Life has never been better”, they tell each other, as they gingerly sip their Flat White’s, hoping the little bastards in the pushchairs aren’t going to wake up anytime soon.
These selfish cunts walk around with their heads up their arses for the entire duration of their stay, pushing the buggy wheels into the ankles of unsuspecting members of the public, getting in the way, openly breastfeeding, subjecting the surrounding area with the piercing screams and running around of their offspring and that god-awful child tone that all modern parents seem to have, “Do you want to do a pooooooooo, do you?” and expecting people like me to move out of the way or give up my seat so their lives can be made a little easier – NOT on my fucking watch. You (selfishly) chose to bring that mewling cabbage into existence without it’s consent, I shouldn’t have to suffer because of your poor choice,. You’re on a fucking ego trip and wanted to create a mini you so you can upload pictures of it and your ugly mug on Facebook for all your other equally retarded friends to “like”. Oh, and stop attempting to be eco-friendly, you’ve already fucked that up by not going through with the abortion, no amount of recycling and going vegan whenever you fancy it at the time isn’t going to reverse the damage.
Go fuck yourself and your disgusting spawn. You Cbeebie lookalike, flappy-cunted, hypocritical cunts.
The same applies for the “lower” members of society. Unemployed, scrounging, white-trash, peasants that surround the benches outside Poundland with pushchairs and stuffed plastic bags, sporting trackie bottoms, dirty neon-coloured vests, furiously stuffing roast chicken flavoured crisps into their toothless gobs and smoking seemingly endless amounts of cheap fags whilst their visually impaired, malnourished brats run around like tasered gibbons. They’ll proceed to the nearest reasonably priced public house, where the kids will be fucking around, swigging back blackcurrant Fruit Shoots, and the adults pints of flat Fosters, talking exceptionally loud about how wonderful it is that Aimee-Leigh is having another baby, despite being thirteen years old. These ITV2-addicted, freeloading miscreants are parasites, and due to the the lack of critical thinking, education and logic, and knowing full well they’ll be looked after by the taxpayer, the cycle of procreating will continue – and this is only the first world.
What a sad time for human existence. Cunts.
Nominated by Lord Cuntony
For the last six months we have lost our loving little cuntrubber to the virtual world of Fortnite.
