Fortnite

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For the last six months we have lost our loving little cuntrubber to the virtual world of Fortnite.

If you’ve haven’t heard of this brainwashing cunt of a computer game,your lucky because once your child presses play it’s game over.

It’s hard work to get little cuntrubber out of the house at the best of times, now it takes all the cunning of a cunning cunt to get the little cuntrubber to go for a sleep over at his cunt mates house.

In the end the plan was simple.

He took his Nintendo with him to his cunt mates house who also had a Nintendo, so they both had a great weekend sitting on his mates bed talking to each other through microphone, headphones staring at a screen playing Fortnite.

Talking to virtual friends who he doesn’t know in the world of the interweb is the way the world is going, which ain’t good.

You won’t catch me spending most of my life on line conversing with strangers.
Oh hold on a minute.?

Nominated by Twatakincuntrubber

31 thoughts on “Fortnite”

    • The pathetic, needy, defective, baldy wretch has already been nominated. Ally Snackbar!

      • Only just noticed that, apologies Cuntstable. I’ve been off here for a few days and just catching up. Should have known my esteemed fellow cunters would’ve already laid into the stupid Irish (muzzy) twat.

      • Well you know what they say about not being able to choose your family Cuntstable, so looks like you’re stuck with me. Unless of course I decide to convert to Islam and join forces with baldy O’Connor then fuck off to the sunny land of peace

    • I’m hoping the desperate old nutter can now become a Jihadi bride, travel to Raqqua, and on arrival open her big mouth wide enough to act as target practice for a brace of cruise missiles.

      • Raqqa was liberated last year and now British jihadi brides want to return to blighty after finding out their caliphate utopia was a bit too rapey and beheady.

    • Apparently “ the teachings have led her naturally to Islam “
      Shame it wasn’t suicide…..
      The little orish Cunts always been really annoying, next thing she will be supporting jihad!!
      Daft talentless sack of orish shite……. Go away!!!!

      • I wonder if, in the name of diversity, slimes will adopt some good ole oirish traditions, such as kneecapping, tarring-and-feathering…

    • Hahaha what a dumb fuck! Maybe she should wear a burka so we won’t have to see her ugly mug.

    • Emergency to the emergency, I’ve just had a shit in a Marks & Sparks petrol station bog.

      Elderly Gentlemen.
      KNOW YOUR TOILETS!

      • Yes Cuntbubble. Had a desperate urge to go. Probably caused by Skinhead O’Cunt-head. She’s in my deadpool. Can’t happen soon enough. Funny I knew a muzzer who’s dad was the same yet his mother was an Irish redhead. His Grandma despaired for him when he turned out peaceful not cafflick. Sic Transit Groria Cunti. Good dump though. I imagined Amber Heard’s gob receiving it.

  2. They’ll love her if she ever dares show her face in the land of peace Mr Q. Hopefully we’ll be watching her slow excruciating execution on you tube any day now

  3. Here’s my idea for a computer game. You are the Patriots and your enemies are the Snowflakes , with their evil army the Goatmen. You score points by assassinating the Snowflake leaders, who have names like Mavis the Hunchback, Killer Tony, The Scarecrow Man and the evil Peter the Bumbandit. You also score points. by terrorising the Goatmen with pork chops and bacon and trying to get them deported to some sandswept cunthole. You lose points if you can’t avoid the Goatmen stabbing you, blowing you up or running you down with a rented van.
    The snowflakes present you with an attractive female and if you seduce her and get your end away you score points. However, if she turns out to be a trannie you get arse raped and lose points.
    That’s my rough outline. I reckon some clever cunt could make something out of it. I want to call it “Brexit : You’re Having a Laugh.”
    I’d fucking buy it!

  4. I’d rather have a hundred moronic rag heads walk into my house with bombs than this ultimate cunt turn up and sing.

    This googlol squared of cuntitude has actually made me feel sorry for ISIS. What have even those hypercunts done to deserve this?!

    Excuse me. I need to wash. In liquid oxygen for about 14000 years then I’m going to jump into a black hole.

  5. Gentlemen, gentlemen please. This cunting is supposed to be about some cunt of a computer game.
    Ah fuck it, Sinead O’Connor is a cunt.

  6. I’ve got the game Hitman Sniper. I’m rather good at it. With 10,000,000 downloads I reached the top 100 on the leader board. Anyway it’s a great stress reliever. I’ve renamed the character Colin Ningbo to Colin Nigbo. Nigbo was a local portmanteau word for Blambos years ago. I get great satisfaction from shooting the cunt in the kneecaps and then putting a bullet into his swarthy face. I’ve done mini mental biographies for the other characters, the tarts, bimbos, pimps, peacefuls, and drug traffickers (I shoot the tarts dead then give them a bullet up the cunt area. They all look like cunts and they all get shot and disposed off. I particularly enjoy burning the assigned peaceful to death in an explosion then sending his charred corpse for a swim. I can only dream….. CUNTS!

    • I’m quite good at draughts. I play on Checkers Pro on Impossible level and I usually win one game in ten. That’s not bad. I’ve even won a few times on Fight Grok where there’s a four minute time limit.
      I was beating it yesterday and just before I could deliver the coup de grace, it said I’d run out of time and called it a draw, the cheating bastard.

  7. It’s a sad state of affairs. We were always told kids were no longer allowed outside because there were nonces in the shrubbery, better to stay in and play nintendo.

    If I had kids, which thank god I don’t, and lived in one of our urban shitheaps I’d be concerned about peaceful charming gangs, aspiring architects, that cunt Jenny/Raquel in her SUV going 45 in a 30, drug addled fucknuts, pikeys with dangerous dogs in the park, and on and on..

    If I were young again I’d be indoors too. Fuck that noise and us cunting adults who have absolutely ruined this country for children to grow up safe and prosperous in

  8. I’d ban these games. Any adult who plays them is probably a rather seedy and disreputable type. Any child who plays them is probably fat,lacking social-skills and disturbed to the point of potentially committing another Columbine massacre. I’m afraid that their parents have failed them.
    I watch Porn for relaxation.I don’t sit pretending to shoot fairies up the arse with a light-sabre in Hogwarts Land..or whatever it is that these suspicious characters do whilst “gaming”.

    Fuck Off.

  9. When the object of the cunting is so shit and inane everyone talks about Sinead O’Shitcunt instead…

      • I wasn’t on about the cunting itself – it’s a good cunting and I agree with every word. I was just saying that the game itself is so shit, so unoriginal and so much of an irrelevance that there’s not much us lot are able to add on top of what you’ve said. Apologies for the confusion – I was hoping the way I phrased the comment would make it clear I was referring to the game itself and not the cunting. Guess not.

  11. Used to be said that reality was for cunts who couldn’t handle drugs. In Fortnite (sic) we have the reverse – a serotonin kick for cunts who can’t handle reality. I am beginning to wonder, though, if reality is in fact being intentionally made progressively shittier (admit it cunters, you know it is) in order to boost sales of the substitutes.

    OK, conspiracy theory. Or most entertaining fiction. New readers start here:

    https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/xyy9g3/philip-k-dicks-4d-gun

    Empathetic games, eh?

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