GP Receptionists [3]

There appears to be a rare sub-human species closely linked in Darwinian research to Neanderthal Man who’s only career option is to become a receptionist at GP surgeries across the country.

These people immediately turn into a cave man morphed into a traffic warden – possibly the most unpleasant example of sub-human excrement in society.

I have had the pleasure of accompanying my 82 year old mother on a trip to her caring GP surgery today and have encountered a typical GP receptionist which (if only) Damien Hurst were to cut in two and place in formaldehyde would send the art world into rapture looking at the words ‘Total Cunt’ running through the body like a stick of Brighton Rock.

‘Leave me alone and sit over there’ the cunt helpfully informs us as we arrive at 9.20 for her 9.30 appointment. Despite frequent reminders that we still have the misfortune of visiting their premises (and allowing the Practice to claim their Porsche money from HMG) and regularly being told to fuck off in all but words, lunch time rolls around and it is becoming clear that the cunts are going to fuck off to the pub having totally forgotten about us.

After 4 hours of waiting, a GP finally agrees to defer the pub lunch visit by 5 minutes and do a shit job of dealing with said Mum all the while we were having to put up with the stench of burning martyr.

Now I know why I personally avoid these places at all odds – I would be surprised if I have visited the fucking GP 3 times in the last 30 years – it really does feel that a slow and painful death is preferable to dealing with the god complex freak that sits behind the front desk.

Maybe next time I have to go there I will bring my shotgun…….

Nominated by Proper Cunt

31 thoughts on “GP Receptionists [3]

  1. I cannot understand my GP receptionists ( all 3 ) None speak fluent English. All three are Eurowhores. The GP’s are Spanish, Peaceful and a token white guy.The receptionists have that typical euro-whore bad and aggressive attitude. Seeking an appointment is a random affair of calculating ( as near as you can ) when you will be ill. All appointments seem to be 3 weeks in the pipeline! Mind you, most of the patints are European, Parker’s and a very large Africunt population who cannot speak anything other than a series of grunts.
    This country is fucked !

    • Actually you’re wrong there.

      GP waiting lists – along with all other NHS resources – are not stretched to fuck because of uncontrolled immigration and 10 million new souls being artificially added to our numbers since 1997. No.

      The reason – explained a government official to the AL-BB-CERA just this week – is because of an “…ever ageing population…”.

      So there you have it. The NHS isn’t fucked because of non-contributing wet-backs from RoW shitholes, eastern bloc minimum wage Eurotrash and an 8:1 “peaceful” birth ratio (all paid for on the nashy). No.

      It’s because of inconsiderate old people, most of whom have propped up the NHS with their NI contributions over the last 40yrs or so, living a year or two longer every decade or so.

      They really should consider euthanasia and rid ourselves of this indigenous problem thus freeing up resources for our much more deserving imports!


      • Which is why the cash strapped BBC want to abolish free TV licenses for over 75s.
        There’s just too many of them, fucking old cunts.

      • Maybe in time it will be replaced with a 20% off Dignitas discount. The House of Lords should lead by example.

      • Oh and don’t forget Rebel…. immigrants stay forever young don’t you know? It’s only the indigenous population that age

        Oh and another thing….. using pre natal and anti natal services while popping out your new anchor babies is also using the BUS as are old folk but that’s never mentioned as it seems these wards would be walking about doing fuck all otherwise

        Fucking con job lying bastards

      • Abolish flue vaccines for over 65’s. Should free up many council flats for free loading peacefuls.

    • “The word ‘racism’ is like ketchup. It can be put on anything – and demanding evidence makes you a ‘racist’!”

      A brilliant and hugely apposite quote: the simple answer to any difficult problem or situation. Don’t bother with a measured construct, just say the “‘R” word to shoot people down in their tracks.

      As for receptionists – they are massive cunts. All they need is a Nazi uniform and they would be straight into character.

      That said, my GP surgery is still mostly white, both in terms of patients and staff; and British too. Not many peacefuls or Africunts in my neck of the woods, although I know its just a matter of time before they come leeching in, grabbing what they can get. And if you say anything to the contrary, they will throw that “ketchup” at you.


  2. My doc is now only working 2 days a week and when you call to try and get an appointment the new bird behind desk delights in telling you how busy “doctor ” is not “the doctor” didnt have an answer when I said perhaps he should work a full week then.
    Some of these old birds love the fact their workin in a medical environment inflates their ego twats think they are in an episode of ER.
    Make way im a life saver.

    • Ask her if she’d like a size 12 boot up her ickle cunty-wunty.

      Am certain baby-talk has been cunted.

      To borrow a phrase, Fuck them, I’m of to see the gee-gees, and hopefully get a nice titty-wanky-poos off a hot stable girl. Preferably strong and stable…

    • Too true CD. Inflated female ego. Came from nothing, now they have something, Female empowerment, without conditions. Little Nazis.

    • Too true CD. They came from nothing, and acquiring just something, especially as an receptionist in an inflated GP environment, they grow horns.

  3. Dont even get me started on gp receptionists, I’d like to give one the saudi journalist treatment lol loud annoying cunts with a fucking attitude. I use to have the worst one too, few years ago. She was so bad I usually avoided the doctor altogether. Thankfully I have a better doctor now and a better receptionist whos loads more respectable

  4. I might as well be in downtown Bucharest or Krakow when I visit my local. Smelly, unshaven, sweating, tattooed cunts with poor English:
    “Dooshka-dooshka medicine Prrrescription, Korr-va Korr-va, dobjay dobjay nexxt door Kemist, ya.” And that’s just the Doctors.

    The receptionists are mainly British but, as in my cunting from a few months ago, they are the most difficult, stubborn, tenacious, rude people in the World. We should’ve had them in the EU negotiations.

    • Or better still put these arrogant, tick-boxing, stubborn and overly obnoxious receptionist cunts on our borders!

      They will keep all of those sponging, ungrateful cunts from entering our country.

      • Perhaps we could have a couple of them as England fullbacks. They’d be like concrete ballards. I’d like to see thugs like Ramos get past these Receptionist cunts.

      • *Bollards

        Mind you, a concrete J.G.Ballard would be splendid too. We need statues of our best authors.

      • Funny, on the odd occasion I’ve mentioned Ballardian to a medic they are quizzical, well I say, a previously predictable and say moral world goes completely tits up and insanity is considered the new normal. Sort of. Like the NHS. Oh, right,whatever.

  5. NHS, no over sharing but have chronic pain problem. Saw NHS woman, 40s, other day. Nasty. Mid way thru chat I pointed out politely that she had not mentioned her position, nor what she hoped to achieve, and as an ex professional myself, this was, to me, a breach of etiquette. She grinned, the old fuckwit look. A standard consulting room, 2 chairs, as I went to sit she said not there, sorry I said, no I must have the seat nearest the door for safety purposes. What, I’m a sober sane 58yr old git, do you think I’m an axe wielding maniac? Then they fucked up and lost me on the system. I genuinely believe that the NHS has disappeared up its backside, most staff should be reassigned to fucking Dachau. They simply don’t give a shit, as the nom says, they tell you to fuck off in all but words.

    • They have some ‘Messiah Complex’, can you imagine the chaos when the transbenders increase their stranglehold even more so? Going through every LGBTQ$%@ fucking smiley face emoji pronoun going, together with poor or non existent English for the resent or not so resent boat jumpers, don’t get fucking ill !.

    • Unfortunately the NHS is a socialist construct, and as such is going the way all socialist constructs go.

      Inefficient, bureaucratic, profligate, disincentified nightmare.

      The road to hell, etc…

      • While I’m absolutely certain that many of those behind the creation of the NHS had only the noblest of motives, the fact remains that it was created first and foremost for political gain and social control purposes.
        Might get burnt at the stake for that one…😁
        Fuck em (c) D.Fiddler

      • About 15 years ago the IT company I worked for was subcontracted by CSC to work on a massive project for the NHS to upgrade its ageing IT system, along with helping GPs and their receptionists to keep track of patient records electronically.

        The project was called “Lorenzo” (Google it for the full horrific details), and was meant to cost the taxpayer roughly £3bn in 2002.

        NHS Management & government mandarins wanted it built at complete odds to what was feasibly possible in terms of software design and hardware technology back then. But despite our protests and reservations the government continued to threatened to pull the rug from under CSC, Fujitsu and other major contractors and sub-contractors unless we fell into line with what they wanted!

        Surprise surprise, it all went tits up: the system was rolled out across the country but failed at every turn, putting patients lives at risk, and patient confidentiality out of the window.

        Needless to say the entire project was mothballed soon after. And the total cost for this monumental public-sector failure was a cool £12bn, which was written off and forgotten about.

        Fucking NHS management need shooting. But that’s for a different cunting

      • The PropCo I used to work for had 3 warehouses (totalling circa 150,000 sq. ft.) let to the NHS which were packed full of brand new (but obsolete) computers which were part of one or other failed IT programme.

        Did they scrap them? Did they fuck – they were paying around £1m per year to store the failure and keep it off the balance sheet.


  6. One of the wierd NHS things is how most staff treat you with distrust and disrespect. Unless you go in with your head hanging off then you are an irritant, as in you are a fucking supplicant, you’d better act grateful for the 5 mins I’m giving you, and I would much rather be in an important meeting than dealing with another meatbag. I have dehumanised you by calling you a ‘service user’, you are a malingering shyster and time waster. Frankly, I’m taking the 6 figure salary and the early retirement to Tuscany, and it’s of no concern to me whether you live or die. Now fuck off.

  7. The medical centre I go to is typical. Firstly, phoning is a complete waste of time. You get the recorded message, press the appropriate button and then it rings forever. No fucker ever answers. If you leave it till after 4pm hoping the place won’t be as busy, all you get is the engaged tone, they leave if off the hook.

    So you walk there. The reception area is covered with type-written notes telling you about all the things they’re not going to do for you, and how they’ll retaliate if they decide you’re being awkward. Then you try to make an appointment to see a doctor. Good luck. The usual response is ‘there’s no more appointments, try again on friday’. There’s one rat-faced cunt t who doesn’t try to hide the fact that she hates patients. If I see her sat there, I turn round and walk back out.

    And after all this, if you eventually do manage to see a doctor, there’s a fifty percent chance it’ll be one who doesn’t give a shit and just wants to fuck you off as quickly as possible.

    Serves us cunts right for being ill. We’ve no consideration.

  8. I recall discussing the Receptionist at our local GP surgery with my neighbour a few years ago. Old Len was in Bomber Command during WW2 – sadly died last year – and he said it’s easy to deal with them.

    He said when the bossy old bag asks “Why do you need to see the Doctor?” he replies in a loud voice “I have the clap, and it’s ouzing out of my willy, and is really uncomfortable”

    He said it works like a charm every time – they rush him in and the doctor sees him straightaway.

    He always had a twinkle in his eye, and enjoyed taking the piss out of officious cunts.

    I miss the old bugger.

  9. Saw a Doc weeks back, bloke, he had pictures of spitfires on the wall. Being an old git, I said ah, very nice, the P51D bubble top Mustang was always my favourite. Seemed to get on fine. I’ll get appointment to pain clinic for you. Super thanks. Weeks pass. Nothing, finally after hours on phone find he did nothing. He forgot. Apology? No fucking chance. I was a chirpy soul once, generally trusting, now hate it, but I wouldn’t trust anyone of these fuckers to tell me the time. I really haven’t got a clue if it isn’t just me that’s insane!

  10. Rich House, Poor House it is called. Swap for a week. The poor household; council house, 3 kids. About 150 quid with bills. The rich house; huge 5 bedroom mansion. With extensive garden, lawn. One kid. 2500 quid a week to spend. I thought he must be some kind of successful businessman. NHS doctor.

  11. Hello Proper Cunt,
    I’m sitting comfortably now the anusol has taken effect so I’ll begin. This is a genuine record of my recent visit to the doctor’s surgery. Enter reception area where automated arrival reporting screen is not working (it never is).

    Receptionist (R) ‘The screen’s broken’
    Me (M) ‘No it’s not broken, it’s not functioning.’
    (Open mouthed stare from (R)
    (R) ‘What can I do for you?’
    (M) ‘I want to make an appointment with a doctor’
    (R) ‘Which doctor?’
    (M) ‘No thank you. I wish to see a medically trained and qualified doctor and not some charlatan waving a juju stick ‘
    (Open mouthed stare)
    (R)’ Is it urgent?’
    (M) ‘Is what urgent?’
    (R) ‘Your appointment, because it won’t be this week.’
    (M) ‘In that case the question of urgency is irrelevant, is it not?’
    (Open mouthed stare.)
    (R) ‘What’s wrong with you?’
    (M) ‘If you are asking me for a self-diagnosis I can’t give you one because I’m not medically trained. That is why I want to consult a doctor. If you are asking for a description of my symptoms I decline to provide them to you, and the five people sitting listening in the reception area, because neither you nor they are medically qualified and professionally entitled to confidential information about my medical condition.’
    (Open mouthed stare)
    (R)’You can see the doctor next week. I shall report your refusal to follow the surgery protocol’

    Next week – in to consult the doctor.

    (Doc) ‘It says on your notes you refused to give required information to the reception staff’. What can I do for you today?’
    (Me) ‘I fear I am becoming deranged’
    (Doc) ‘How so?’
    (Me) ‘I have this desperate urge to strangle your receptionist’
    (Doc) ‘It’s contagious. So do I. What else can I help with?’

    Young receptionist cunt with one working brain cell a tattooed fucking leg and enough metal in its ears to start a scrapyard. Fucking education system.

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