Yes those retarded, snivelling, earing-wearing ,tattoo infested, “Dont mess wid me and me Possee” fuck faced CUNTS who drive around with Da Muzak blaring out of their “Da best Souped up stereo system “,creating mini earthquakes wherever they pass,giving dirty “Wotcha looking at Bruv” looks to anyone unlucky enough to cross their path.

And the fucking muzak always sounds exactly the same-Boom da Boom,Boom da Boom,Boom da Boom,Boom da Boom with no discernible tune or melody to speak of. Im not a violent man(as long as I take my medication) but Id like to hire or steal a Challenger tank for just one day and drive around London giving these CUNTS summat real loud to listen to as I roll over their VW Golfs and let go a few missiles.CUNTS CUNTS CUNTS

Nominated by CuntsR-Us

Another hot sticky night making it fucking terrible to try to sleep but made worse by every cunt in a car playing *music* which is so loud it shudders through the cheap metal of their cars into my ears. If it is not fartarse Abdul with his Middle East pop it is pink haired old cunts with Rod fucking Stewart warbling some love song. Even the pedestrians join in the act – they might not have a car but they have got a fucking mobile phone and a mouth as big as an elephants arse and they bellow down the fucking thing at all hours of the day and night – at 3 a.m. this morning some Chinese wanker so fucking high-pitched only the dogs could have heard what he was shouting about. Sartre was right hell is other people, especially when they can afford crap electronics.

Nominated by W.C.Boggs

Cunting the BBC is like putting on that old pair of slippers, or settling back for a wank in your favourite armchair, but nevertheless, the cuntish organisation has a perpetual stream of rich cuntitude to tap into. And so goes the nomination.

Tonight, whilst preparing a marinade for my favourite Buffalo Wing’s recipe, I had the TV on idly in the background and it happened to be Newsnight (25.07.2018).

Even for the BBC, they utterly outdid themselves on tonight’s shitshow; immediately cast to the outer reaches of stratospheric cunt by virtue of Golum tribute act host Evan Davies, the show managed to pack in wall-to-wall pissboiling and right-on cuntitude like no other.

We started with the pressing and illuminating issue of the Pakistani national elections, I suppose relevant for the BBC’s increasingly targeted audience. Half the show dedicated to his fucking bollocks, and the associated profiling of candidate and UK socialite-turned-raging-towelhead Imran Khan.

Then from there, we went into a story on female gang members; and how utterly blameless the little cherubs are even when one (with silhouette protected identity of course) casually talked about stabbing her rivals. 10 minutes of first-hand scumcunt accounts packed with my previously cunted ‘urban’ faux fuckig dialect; every third word a ‘like’ or an ‘init’.

Then we hit the quirky final story – is there life on Mars. Rubber-faced cunt Davies could barely conceal the contempt with which he held for the scientist guest trying to explain in all futility the relevance of the discovery of substantial underground bodies of water on our neighbouring planet.

Oh, and how could I forget – right at the end of the show, Evan Davies issued an apology. Apparently during the piece on Imran Khan and focussing on his cricketing days, they actually showed extended footage of Wasim Akram.

Ironic that the Al-BBC’s researchers should make that kind of ‘they all look the same’ gaff. That won’t please the reisdents of Sparkhill one bit.

Up to my nuts in raw poultry and garlic-smeared hands, I was helpless in succumbing to the horror of an inaccesible remote as the shitshow unfolded. Fuck you BBC for making me endure this type of fucking bollocks, you utter and completely contemptible shitcunts.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

Noise Addicts – people who have to have some kind of noise in the background constantly, from dusk till dawn.

Let’s picture an example. They get up and first thing put the radio on, loud, while they prepare themselves for work, they will drive to work listening to the radio, and have the radio on in the office at work, they will then drive home listening to the radio and when they get home they will have the tv on and probably fall asleep to it.

I like music, and I like tv, but I don’t have it on in the background for the sake of it. I like tunes loud in the car sometimes. But I don’t need or want noise all the time, in fact I need some peace and quiet every day really. What is it with these morons, do they need to drown out the reality of their own pathetic existence?

Here are some further notes …

Work

Music is appropriate at some places of work, particularly while doing manual labour. However when you have a technical or administrative job that requires concentration, mostly quiet is better.

For example I used to work in an office with a lot of people in it, and as what was supposed to be some kind of treat, they stuck a bunch of shitty radios (or worse used laptop speakers?!) around so we could have the radio on at Christmas time. What this turned out to be was so we could listen to about 30% of the women in the office singing along at varied volumes while trying to work. What was the point of this? If it is a distraction why do it, if it is a benefit then why not do it all the time? What is going on in the minds of the turds who’s idea this was.

Radio 1

Why do a large percentage of grown women, and a smaller percentage of grown men (I’m talking over 40) listen to Radio 1? As my colleague at work points out when asked why he doesn’t listen to Radio 1, it’s because he is grown up. But worse, people (usually women over 30 for some deranged reason) actually criticise and attempt to shame people who listen to Radio 2 or some talk radio station because it’s “boring” or “sad”. These mental patients really need to go back to the playground or grow the fuck up. Radio 1 is for children, it’s that fucking simple.

TV

Why the fuck is the TV always on, when you’re there, in the other room, when you go out?! Any why is it so fucking loud? Hello?! Is there anyone in there?!?! (Imagine Biff Tannen knocking on their head like he did in Back to the Future).

In an operating theatre?!

I have saved the best till last. I went to day surgery the other day to have a biopsy, I had never had one before but it turned out to be more serious and take more time than I expected. I ended up having to put some gown on, wait in some kind of ward, have things measured etc. I had to get them to extend my parking ticket because I didn’t realise it would take so long.

So imagine my surprise, now in the operating theatre, when this apparently serious procedure is accompanied by pop music. They are going to cut bits out of me, they asked me if I was allergic to anything literally 4 times and checked my identity 3 times (not for my benefit of course), and they proceeded to inject me and remove bits of me, and the fucking radio was on. Shouldn’t they be removing distractions? I asked them if it was for my benefit, apparently it was! Why are children running our institutions?

Even more amusingly, and I fucking kid you not, I was in there for about 20 minutes and 2 of the songs that played were, and really no kidding, “Losing my Religion” by REM and “What if God Was One of Us” by Alanis Morisette or some similar pseudo folk singer from the 90s. I did wonder if I was actually awake when I left.

Summary

These people are cunts.

If you need this amount of meaningless noise to quell the voices in your head constantly there is something wrong with you and I don’t want to be around you, or have you influencing my life at all.

Fuck off.

Nominated by Cunting Rank Wags