Paul Burrell

Paul Burrell, Princess Diana’s former butler and, allegedly, her rock, is need of a cunting. He’s popped up in the Daily Fail, to offer his thoughts on Meghan’s strained relationship with her father, and other members of her family, notably, her gobshite half sister.

It baffles me no end why ANY media outlet would give this vile, obnoxious, self styled ‘royal expert’ both publicity and money to spout his opinions, yet its been happening for the past twenty years. The truth is, the Royal Family despise this motor mouthed little parasite. And it’s a sign of how much they hate him, that Harry didn’t bother to invite the little shit to his wedding. Of course, Burrell didn’t let an oversight like that stop him from turning up in Windsor, suited and booted. Happily, he failed to get past security, and had to watch from behind a barrier, like the rest of the hoy polloy. Honestly, this self-important prick has no shame.

The fact is, that while he may have know William and Harry quite well as children, he knows nothing about them as men. That means his ‘qualifications’ are out of date. He certainly knows as much about Meghan as I do, which is fuck all. But that hasn’t stopped him hawking his services around, particularly in the US, and making a mint out of his tenuous connection to the Royal Family.

Paul Burrell, you slimy little snail penis. Crawl back under your rock, you royal cunt!

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

The Burka/Burqua

If somebody asks me directions while wearing a motorcycle helmet, I’d feel a tad awkward. Similarly, if somebody talked to me whilst wearing a Halloween hockey mask or a Tony Blair mask, I wouldn’t like it very much. The Burka has the same effect.

I don’t tell people what to wear. Never have. Yet I am allowed to express my thoughts. If a fat person wants to wear shorts in the Summer, I won’t tell them they can’t but I’m allowed to take the piss. If somebody chooses to dress like a giant baby, it’s allowed but I feel almost obliged to crack jokes.
The Koran doesn’t instruct Muslim women to cover their faces with niquabs so it’s not a religious obligation. It also can’t be a cultural tradition for veiled women, especially those who were born in Britain. Therefore why wear this horrible, self-imprisoning sheet?

Apparently the veil is a form of resistance to the West’s sexualisation and objectification of women. The “assertion” is that Western societies pressurise women into adopting forms of dress (and undress) that are intended to gratify the ‘male gaze’ and turn women into sex objects.

Psh. Not good enough.

The Burka is a symbol of Islam’s intolerance of dissent and desire to contain and repress female sexuality. It’s ridiculously oppressive and the wearers who consent to its existence are either submissive hags living in fear of peremptory reprisal or woefully repulsive crones who fell out the ugly tree and hit every branch. The only time anybody should wear this wretched, sinister fancy dress is to a Halloween party.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

A cunting for the Tory Party with reference to Boris and his burka comments.
What the fuck has happened to the Tories? Common sense and values gone out the window.
We had a fucking snowflake minister – Justine Greening- say children could self-identify gender.

Now we have call for Boris to be ejected/disciplined whatever, for perfectly reasonable remarks. He wasn’t even calling for a ban as liberal Denmark has done. And the demands are coming from Tories for fuck sake.

Where the fuck is the party going? No platforming for all but liberal views and agendas?
Cunts.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Theatre critics who hate Brexit


I have a nomination for two dickheads that most of you will probably have never heard of. Paul Taylor of the Independent, and Tim Bano of The Stage. They are paid to review theatre productions and other luvvie shite, but that hasn’t stopped them from branching out into the Cuntland of anti-Brexit bigotry.

In a review of Othello at the new Globe Theatre, starring uber luvvie cunt, Mark Rylance, Taylor wrote;

“The moustache belongs to the kind of bar-room bigot who will, of course, have voted for Brexit. It’s not Othello’s race but the fact that Andre Holland is foreign – an American who speaks with the accent of the deep South – that eats at Iago.”

And Bano’s review was similarly disapproving of Brexit voters;

“He brings a kind of Brexiteer vibe to the character, a Middle England reactionary who hates Othello because he’s foreign – here, American.”

Bar-room bigots who hate foreigners? As I’ve said before, I have no problem with people disagreeing with Brexit. I do however have a massive problem with ignorant, arrogant pricks like Taylor and Bano, who make sweeping, and incorrect, generalisations about Brexit voters. Taylor and Bano are the type of person I despise on sight. University graduates, who consider themselves to be intellectuals, and therefore superior to us poor plebs, simply because they can put letters after their names. Well, as it happens, I can put letters after MY name, MM and MC. I don’t do it very often, but I have that right.

They’re the kind of patronising shits who claim to stand up for the working classes, but seem completely oblivious to the fact that it was the working who predominantly voted to leave the EU, and it is the working who are they are writing off as nothing more than drunken, small minded, intellectually inferior racists, who voted to leave the EU simply because we hate foreigners. I explained in a previous comment why I don’t hate foreigners, so I won’t repeat it here.

If you want to disagree with Brexit, that’s entirely your business. I’ve had some interesting and good humoured debates on the issue with friends who are against it. What you do not have the right to do though, is slag off 17.4 million people who democratically expressed their wish to leave an organisation that we saw as taking far more from us than they were giving back. And what they did give back was generally a pile of shit. And while it’s true that very small number of Brexiteers do seem to hate foreigners, they are very much in the minority. The vast majority of us are decent, hard working, honest, law abiding, taxpaying patriots, who simply want our country to be governed by people who WE elect, to able make OUR OWN laws, and most definitely to negotiate OUR OWN trade deals.

We do not need, nor to deserve to be sneered at by overeducated, self-righteous, superior minded, self styled ‘intellectuals’. All they do when they sneer and insult us, is show us what ignorant, arrogant democracy hating cunts they are. I’m going to bed with my Nigerian princess now, I hope you all have as good a night as I will. And I hope Taylor and Bano fall straight down from the top of the superior tree.

Taylor are Bano are not superior to any of us.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

Dominic Grieve [2]

This fucking old woman has been on The World At One again, this time threatening/promising he will resign from the Conservative party if Boris Johnson becomes leader.

I should tell him to fuck himself if I were the chairman of their party. The old fuckwit has tried to derail Brexit, yet today he had the fucking cheek to suggest that old Boris was a threat to democracy. The old wanker who would like to stop the democratic wishes of over 17 million voters. What a deluded arsehole.

Nominated by W.C. Boggs

Indian Call Centre Bots

Feel free to file the following under ‘bigoted British cunt ranting’ – because that’s exactly what I am and exactly what this is.

Yesterday, for what may be the 1,513th time, my VirginMedia broadband service went on the fritz. Being a customer of such a cuntly organisation is bad enough, and even at the best of times, the VirginMedia shit-services makes me want to repeatedly smash sand-filled Coke bottles against the shins of bearded deitycunt Richard Branson; but once you take to calling the helpline, then the real suffering begins and your pissboiling temperature is ramped up by a few fucking hundred degrees.

*Dials the VM customer helpline, goes through the eternal automated fucking security Qs, eventually hears the queue music and starts to chant to himself*

“Please let it be the Welsh call centre.”
“Please let it be the Welsh call centre.”
“Please let it be the Welsh call centre.”

*dial tone kicks in*

“Hello there Mr. Gunt be Strikeeng Back, you are speaking to Billy, how may I be of serwice for helbing you doday?”

Part of me wonders whether the out-sourcing of customer helplines to Indian call centres is actually a calculated move by companies to offset the time and manpower spent in dealing with genuine customer complaints and issues, knowing that a fair percentage of punters will give up after 30mins arguing with a scripted bot with zero nous or common sense. The agents at these tenth circles of hell employ infuriating tactics such as putting you on hold for fucking ages with no holding update or apology; repeating back every fucking sentence which you have uttered on the call and trying to convince you that you are speaking to the only indigenous ‘Billy’ in the whole of India.

Let’s be clear – I don’t really fucking care about the ethnicity of the staff. I used to be a customer of BE Broadband and their call centre was somewhere in Eastern Europe – those Balkan fuckers though at least compensated for the difficulty in speaking the language by being a pro-active and helpful bunch.

Needless to say, the Broadband service was fine this morning and has been all day, despite our man in Bangalore Billy Kartakashar arguing the toss that I needed to wait hand-on foot all day sometime this decade for one of their glorified repairmen to come and fuck about with my router. These call centre operatives may not actually be bad people, but they certainly are cunts.

Any thing else I can be cunting for you today, sir?

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back