Cards on the table: I fucking despise the way modern black/ethnic youths speak. It’s eroding British culture faster than a litre of sunny delight rots milk teeth. I know since time immortal teenagers and the young have always adopted their own slang to fit in with peers, rebel etc. But this fucking current idiocy is a game changer.
There is no real way to mask this cunting for what it is: a direct attack on the morose, pathetic, cringeworthy and almost self-parody that is ‘black speak’. Searching online to see if this had a formal name, it seems to be under ‘Ebonics’. But fuck that for a game of soldiers, I won’t use anything that legitimises this backwardly devolved form of communication.
I don’t mind a bit of ‘init’, I don’t mind a bit of ‘know what I mean’, and I can even stretch to the odd ‘safe’.
The piss boils however when middle-class surrey kids, without trace of irony, talk like Compton’s finest. Middle-class WHITE kids, no less.
Why oh why do we entertain these fucking cretins who speak in that completely fucking made-up Bangladeshi-Jamaican accent (see Ali G) and further, even allow such cunts to do voice-overs on BBC/ITV programmes & VTs?
It’s all utter fucking wank. It’s not culture. It’s not in any way, shape or form legitimate. It’s fucking retarded.
Everywhere I turn I see this horse bollocks getting normalised and passed off as ‘street’, ‘urban’ or ‘inner city’. Fuck right off you stupid scumcunts.
Worse still though, the internet has seemingly adopted black American ghettoisms at every fucking turn. Every fucking ‘meme’ “has me be like…”, “I’m inna…” “go girl…” Jesus Harry H. Corbett Christ, speak fucking remotely properly, you head-shaking, fat-arsed, wig-wearing morons! When did this fucking bollocks become cool? Who decided that the some of the most deadbeat people in existence were the gatekeepers to almost all internet fucking slang?
Lord have mercy. I’d gratefully accept going back to the times when the worst grammatical faux pas British kids committed was calling me a cunt in the Sainsbury’s confectionary aisle.
Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back
Excellent work, ECB.
Anyone over 25 who uses this woeful, backward patois is a cunt.
I abhor this turgid fashion. It’s more of a voice than an accent. Fully-grown adults blithering mispronounced, faux-Jamaican bollocks is pathetic and embarrassingly crass.
I don’t care if people are not articulate. I care not if your discourse isn’t festooned with lexical flowers or a smorgasbord of vocabulary. I do care if you deliberately litter your speech to sound like a low iq gibbon.*
Speak properly you ignorant fuck-nuts. What a shame there isn’t plastic surgery for the larynx..
*apologies to all gibbons Worldwide.
19
There is, just use the knife that appears to be so popular in the culture, it’s worked dozens of times in London alone so far this year.
7
Very cringeworthy indeed. There are white people that grew up in and around the ‘hood’ who sound as if they are black. I remember selling a car to this bloke a year or so ago. After speaking to him on the blower a couple of times I assumed that he was a black fella from the aforementioned ‘hood’. Upon meeting him, he turned out to be about as black as the milky bar kid but happened to sound like someone of African or Caribbean descent. This ridiculous accent seems to have become a regional accent; not just in London but in many of the counties surrounding London such as Essex, Kent, Surrey, etc. I must admit that I was somewhat relieved when he turned out to be white as I knew I wasn’t going to be robbed and he paid me. Nonetheless, this plague of an accent is becoming common throughout the south and white people are either imitating it or actually talk that way from spending too much time with the ‘brothers’. Very sad.
16
This accent is a sure fire identifier of a thick cunt. Innit.
20
You thick cunt!
6
Fanks bruv.
6
You’re welcome. I hear this shit in the street on the odd occasion I venture out and wonder whatever happened to normal english.
4
Surely it’s self-regulating? By talking in this idiotic manner and living the gansta life, they’re keeping themselves in the scum ghettos where they belong.
What do they hope to aspire to? Nothing apart from more of the same.
This sort of thing should be entirely encouraged (at least amongst London’s apes) to ensure they never rise too far. If one does break free from their pathetic lives and make it as a decent, responsible member of society, then fair play and well done.
But I seriously doubt any of them can read and write better than an 8-year-old.
I wouldn’t employ one. But then, I wouldn’t employ a peaceful either. Or white council scum, who are almost as worthless as inner city aspiring architects.
20
Aspiring to rise above the primordial slime and benefit the country is racist… everyone knows that surely?
13
The problem is that increasing numbers of areas in cities, and, increasingly, rural areas, are becoming the scum ghettos you speak of and since the police are only interested in twatter hate crime, who is there to deal with it?
5
Sick cunting, blud.
11
Listen fam, speak English, ya feel me? Me ain’t worrying if man no make sense.
8
Errr…..what?
3
Easy Moggie63, Big man ting ah gwan. ISAC man dem big up and respec, dem bwoy at cunts corner were trying to rush man an dissed man pan Facebook an Insta. D’yam raasclaat bwoy dem. Let’s low dem fi now an Diss dem inna d new video.
7
Fuck me, time to die peacefully.
3
All I’ve got to say is:
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
A real gangsta-ass nigga plays his cards right
A real gangsta-ass nigga never runs his fucking mouth
‘Cause real gangsta-ass niggas don’t start fights
And niggas always gotta high cap
Showing all his boys how he shot ’em
But real gangsta-ass niggas don’t flex nuts
‘Cause real gangsta-ass niggas know they got ’em
And everything’s cool in the mind of a gangsta
‘Cause gangsta-ass niggas think deep
Up three-sixty-five ayo 24/7
‘Cause real gangsta-ass niggas don’t sleep
And all I gotta say to you
Wannabe, gonnabe, cock sucking, pussy-eating pranksters
Is when the fire dies down what the fuck you gonna do
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
Thank you.
10
I think there’s been a successful bastard hybridization of the original patois and english language because we were primed for it to be honest. There’s plenty of british men in this country who talk bloke-ish, a bit rough, and take a sort of pride in it and being afraid to just speak plain and true to our language with good pronunciation. That left the door open for this hybrid jungle jibber-jabber to emerge – no pride in our own language and too lazy to change.
There’s more pride to be had in the ghetto speak to a young white male, he can see more power and authority there. We’ve done this to ourselves really..
9
Yea it’s even creeping in here in rural Dorset. On a related note did anyone see that complete CBeebies bollocks on BBC4 “Jurassic Coast Live”? Dan Snowflake; some hapless fucker in a wheelchair and a fat, shouty, titslapping personage of African origin.
There you have it-diversity in action and all in the name of “informative telly”. BBC Cunts channel needs to be started up ‘
10
Remedial English was designed for this. Also for young wimminz who, while being moderately articulate, have learned to speak without moving their lips (‘You’ becomes ‘Yee’, eg) with a slight but irritating lisp, the use of ‘he was like’ in place of ‘he said’ and that fucking upward inflection at the end of every sentence?
Remedial English should be compulsory at ‘O’ level and anyone failing should be deported. I’ll teach it.
Not content with wrecking my society, my countryside and my public services, the cunts have destroyed my glorious language. No other term is appropriate: cunts.
Oh, and I forgot ‘So’ as a substitute for ‘Um’ at the beginning of a sentence with no logical connection to anything previously said.
24
I cringe when a millenial talks. The whiney voice, the use of “like” and “literally” and the upward inflection.
The Windrush generation taught themselves to speak good English in order to fit in. What went wrong?
12
Nothing screams Englishness more than the English language and it’s unparalleled 700+ years literary heritage. The language is the last bastion of our all but terminally eroded culture. Once the language is gone, any notion of Englishness will be gone with it.
All grist to the Libtard Islamist mill… besides, speaking English is clearly waycist, innit?
PS: Philip Hammond is a treacherous cunt.
22
Who needs the likes of Shakespeare, Wordsworth and Kipling anymore when the have Stormzy init bruv.
9
I grew up in a tough neighbourhood.
You could take a hit at anytime.
Sponge cake, cream and sometimes seasonal fruit.
Pretty tough growing up in the gateau….
31
Saw something amusing outside an expensive rip-off cafe in Manchester recently… The fleecing cunts had a sign outside, and on it it said ‘Gateaux £5 a slice’….Fucking thieving cunts… Anyway. somebody had written on their sign: next to the fiver for a slice of cake price tag someone had written ‘Bolleaux!’
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Good ones Norman and JRC.
2
Perhaps one of the experts on ghettoese here can help me. I don’t know which fingers to wave/[point/spread when talking to a bro in order to compensate for his lack of a vocabulary. Is there a guide to gangsta gestures and their esoteric meanings which might help me? Preferably with a chart, like the old semaphore chart I learned in the Cubs? Thanks in advance.
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https://youtu.be/ysPeI6eojeY
Something here for everyone.
6
The best ones are to be found on The Jeremy Kyle Show (yes I do watch it occasionally, as I find watching scrotes screaming at and battling each other on national TV highly hilarious). The latest cringy saying I’ve heard is ‘baby mum,’ yet another yank offering that has found it’s way over the pond and into the mouths of our own chavs and scrubbers. It’s bad enough hearing this shite come out of blacks…but when us honkys start with it, it just enters a whole new realm of offensiveness.
And while I’m here, I might as well express my utter contempt for the presenter of said show….the bug eyed, attention seeking, deeply unfunny, fucktard Jeremy Kyle. The man is more embarrassing than his guests, his overt attempts to be noticed and wanted, his silly childish antics and pathetic over use of jokes (and I use that term veeeeeery loosely) that weren’t funny the first time make me want to put my fucking foot through the TV and straight through his whiny little face. I hate the shortarse cunt with a burning passion.
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Without his security staff he would shit himself and run away at the first raised voice.
Scratter-baiting cunt…
9
The glottal stop and failure to sound ‘t’ grinds my gears. Water becomes worrer, etc.
The use of upward inflections like some Aussie soap star ‘gala’ and any cod-Juumaykan Rufus-speak should be punishable by prolonged waterboarding and a firm but sharp kick in the love spuds or axe wound.
JRM’s quality of enunciation is a model of how it should be done.
17
‘Wo’ah’ , surely? ‘ Worrer’ signifies ‘what a…’ as in ‘worrer cun’
(Short ‘o’)
But I have a nasty feeling da hood got that from East London/Essex. Don’t even get me started on Mockney.
8
Ken Neddy the violinist being a case in point.
I saw a video clip of his childhood, his Ma was so posh she made HM Queen sound a right dozy slapper.
But I think Mr. Neddy lives in Poland (Crackoff) with wife No. 2, so I guess the locals wouldn’t be troubled by his mockney…
2
Hmm difficult to type it phonetically. I suppose the closest is wah-her.
1
And any cunt (especially adults) who say ‘Meh’ should have their gobs filled with concrete…
Same goes for any cunt who uses the term ‘Wifey’ (like those celebrislags, Rita Oral and Cavecunt Delevigne)…
12
I always liked to hear that old poofter Brian Sewell talking, never mistook a thing the old chap uttered.
13
Clear concise diction and i never heard him use the most annoying word “guy” a tony blair word (CUNT).
9
The people who are most guilty of doing their utmost to fuck up the English language are the Americans. And the youngsters in this country who hear this stuff on television and try to imitate it are embarrassingly immature. Nothing makes me cringe more than some kid who talks like a cunt and is convinced he’s impressing me.
12
Agreed, Allan. No such thing as British English or American English. Just English. Everything else is just a poorer, badly-spelt, badly-pronounced, bastardised English for fuckwits.
10
A few years ago I asked a young female Darkie where I could find something in the cash’n’carry where she,I assumed,worked. She might as well have replied with the clicks and whistles which were more likely her native tongue. I couldn’t understand a bit of it. Politely I explained to her that I didn’t speak Kitchen Kaffir and was there anyone available who spoke English…..apparently there was..the manager and security guard who ordered me out.
So much for the customer always being right. Cunts.
17
I short-paid my vodkaphone bill the other day, I thought I was still talking to the “automated” thingy.
I think my “interlocutor” might have been yellow / light tan pacific asian, or some sort. Difficult to tell, very high-pitched, strangulated, devoid of intonation and jerky delivery.
3
Briefly working at Amazon last year I was given a ‘verbal positive’ (wtf?) And the ‘young black girl with monitoring laptop’ offered up her fist. Seeing a blank look she said ‘fist bump’. Seeing a continued blank look she took my hand, made a fist and ‘bumped’ it with hers. I asked her why she couldn’t have simply said, patronisingly, ‘well done’. Cue the blank look on her part.
5
Had the same problem yesterday, Dick, trying to sort out an oyster card problem (you will deduce I was in Londistan). After speaking to 2 foreign advisors, I asked to speak to the manager who, thankfully, was English and (dare I say it?) white.
4
I worked with an old engineering foreman who used to bollock the kaffirs in Fanagalo, a mixture of god knows what languages. Very effective and probably would have worked in the above case.
6
If its trendy and populist you can bet your bottom dollar old Werzel will jump on the bandwagon, along with his happenin’ Front Bench. I can imagine the scene at PM’s Question Time:-
Werzel – ” s’up bitch?”
Spineless – “Could the right Honorable Gentleman repeat the question please?”
Werzel- <sucks through teeth… well, dentures more like!) "said s'up on d'street, man?" clicks fingers at Spineless.
Spineless – "I am sorry, but could the right Honorable Gentleman speak English please?"
Werzel – "Are you dissing me, bitch? Y'need to check out d'hood and ting; scope what's happenin' innit?"
It will happen one day!
10
This cunting was tailormade for Tim West’side’wood , save the fact he is a 60 year old Anglican Bishops son from Lowestoft and has made a career out of sounding like a cunt.
14
What a bloodclaat good cunting,
Being a 6’3 big mixed race moody looking cunt I seem to have this effect that when I pass by or am around some cunts (white and black) some try and talk extra loud in this same put on accent. I think the cunts are trying to impress me… Knobheads.
I grew up in a fairly rough area and we all spoke in a Jamaican influenced way as most of the black and mixed had a Jamaican parent, I remember the odd whitey sounding blacker than me as well. These days you get peaceful youth in London talking abaaaaaht ‘Wah Gwan’ and ‘Bredren’… Wankers wouldn’t last five minutes in Jamaica acting like that in the wrong place.
Of all the darkie culture to come here let’s be honest the British whitey probably likes Jamaican music etc the best and played a bit of Reggae and Ska back in the 80’s etc. Real Jamaican has a lot of style and enthusiasm and character, hence why the new generations of da youth talk a British type of Jamaican patois. Even the Africunts talk and rap using Jamaican slang etc. I can’t stand listening to some Africans talking English it’s sounds stupid, the point I’m making is that of all the black influence brought here, Jamaican is the preferred way of Black speak if you want and it’s perceived as cool by the kids and youth. Why are they adopting this rather than talking the way they were brought up? Fuck knows, anyways put some Buster Bloodvessel and UB40 and have a think about it.
13
Fkn right. Found bluebeat rather irritating, I must admit, but reggae and proper dub are ok by me. A long time since I did weed*, but I still listen to King Tubby. Jamaican English is appropriate to Jamaicans and please exclude it from my past and future cuntings. It is perfectly possible to be articulate in Jamaican. My beef is with cunts who really work on sounding as thick as pigshit, in any dialect. And indeed being.
*Proper weed, also proper resin, not the filthy skunk shit which provides the experience of banging your head in slow motion against a wall.
6
Agreed Komodo, I can’t stand this I want to sound thick as I can bullshit ‘Ghetto Chat’ a lot of youth speak like. It makes me cringe when I hear these cunts who work in shops talking like this. The silly fools usually grow out of it when they get to 15 like I did but some think it’s all real and don’t realise you ain’t getting a decent job when cannot speak and articulate yourself properly. It’s embarrassing and I wish the silly cunts realised how stupid they sound.
King Tubby now your talking, and I can’t stand this skunk craze that shows no sign of going away. Me I prefer a nice bit of Moroccan hash or a nice bit of real weed. Cheers.
4
Peace, man. 🙂 A nice bit of Leb would be lovely. As if.
5
I have approx 1 eighth of block in my fridge right now, if ya wanna pop over? Me am currently detoxing…
4
@ Ruff Tuff Creampuff, I’m shocked you have openly encouraged me to take drugs. I will be starting a campaign on Twatter against you and I’m currently setting up a Facebook page naming and shaming you. I was having a good weekend coked up and pissed up and you have ruined it by offering me hash. I cannot believe it.
6
@ B&WC
Naturally I am gutted. Please accept my sincere apologies for this unfortunate misunderstanding – my post was in fact meant for Mr Komodo and his penchant for “a nice bit of Leb”.
Please refrain from further naming and shaming or I might think about complaining or something.
Hope you can now move on and salvage the rest of your coke fuelled pissed up weekend.
5
My fave one is So and so is “about dat life”
Usually posted in a meme by a white middle class 25 year old man working in a bank or somewhere similar .
CUNTS
3
The whites have become black!
https://youtu.be/OVq2bs8M9HM
Talking a lot of sense that David Starkey, also that Owen Jones cunt is on the panel. The cunt.
4
I have often thought about this and some cunter mentioned above people in the commons talking like this in the future. We are going through a massive change in this country in many different ways, from the high street disappearing and a future of minimal interaction between shop owners and customers due to online shopping to the cultural change in language especially in London. Was sat in me motor the other day in a what used to be a rough black area and I’d smoked a spliff and was watching life go by… I noticed all kinds of cunts Spanish, Jamaicans, English and others I couldn’t work out some going out on the piss with cans and others up to no good, also saw what looked like a pair of lesbians walking with arms around each other. I thought in those moments that this country had changed and will never be what it was like I also felt a bit old, whether that bothers you or makes you happy is irrelevant as the this country has changed forever as has the world. I went to Copenhagen a while back and ago thinking I’d be some exotic specimen the woman would be all over and was disappointed that a load of other darkies beat me to it. At the end of the day the youth have the future and me being 39 am probably considered a washed up old cunt to to these young cunts, anyways thanks to Cuntbook and Twatter plus all the other online cunt behaviour the world has become smaller and has changed and will change even more. Not a lot we can do abaaaaaht it, Brexit (I voted leave) won’t change fuck all Anyways it’s Saturday night, no need for doom and gloom we’re all dying anyways. In the words of that funny old racist cunt Bernard Manning ‘Get fucked the lot of ya’.
10
Add to that the erosion of Christianity and the rise of Islam in England.
9
Great posts B&WC.
Religion has always been a right bastard. Christianity included. Islam and it’s useful idiot enablers has destroyed this country, possibly beyond the point of no return.
4
That Usain Bolt is getting on my nerves…cunts retired hasn’t he? Yet he’s still in his Olympic outfit advertising Virgin somefink or another. Cunt said he wants to play for Man U, I bet he hangs round with Branson on his island. Cunt.
4
Great cunting ECB. I genuinely don’t understand a fucking word of this garbled cunt speak. If one of the thick twats spoke to me like that I’d tell the prick to speak fucking English or piss off. As you rightly say, a bit of slang is ok but not when it’s for the intended purpose of trying to sound hard. Because it doesn’t sound hard, it sounds like they’re suffering a severe case of retardation. Monumental bellends one and all.
7
I don’t know what all you cunters are concerned about. If, like me, you were in Ikea Brent Cross this afternoon, you would realise that English is now a minority language anyway.
5
My estranged son, who went off the rails when he started hanging about with Native Indians at first and then “graduated ” to Blacks, had a marvelous way with words.
He had an unmatched vocabulary and anyone who met him before these encounters; teachers, friends etc., used to comment on his gift.
Enter Uncle Tom, wid his drugs, mon, and his dreadlocks. Before my eyes the kid turns into a white coon. Soon he was calling things “dope” and these guys were his “homies” and the “wimmin” were bitches.It was always “yo” when he picked up the phone.
You could put him in a room with a hundred people, 99 white and one black, and guess who he’d pal up with?
It was like watching an athlete completely lose his abilities, to the point where it’s too bad to watch any more!
Couldn’t hold down a job for more than a week , couldn’t be trusted in any position where money was involved, stole anything that wasn’t bolted down and took on the persecuted slave’s mentality whenever he was confronted.
He spoke a like a black slave too, starting to use pidgin English almost all the time to the point where I couldn’t stand to listen to him speak.
But sadly there were no ebonics scholarships being handed out in those days, so he didn’t go to University… he could have been saved with an opportunity like that
On the other side of the coin, my older brother married a black girl in Papua New Guinea, they had two kids, both grew up speaking the Papua New Guinea version of EfuckingBonics (or the local pidgin to give it its proper name) .
They went in the complete opposite direction, couldn’t wait to ditch pidgin and talk intellectually , couldn’t wait to get a good job and be upstanding citizens. Both became successful , the son a pilot and the daughter a legal assistant. They still retained respect for family values and made sure the people from their village reaped some of the rewards of their success.
My son ?
A black white man, now 42 years old and a hip-hop DJ in some far off mountain town full of snowflakes, deadbeats, hippies and runaway slaves. Never had a proper job since he dropped out of school, lives in a shithole apartment , doesn’t pay his bills, (all the main ghetto food groups) …. but let me tell ya one ting!
He’s fluent in Ebonics, and exclusively black universities are fighting to give him a professorship and recognize this unique talent. …. then I woke up!
The western black ghetto “culture” is truly a wiry haired cunt
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