Supermarkets (2)

As a bloke who just like to shop and go, why every time a rock up at the till ,any till, any store, I have a cunt in front? A cunt who has just packed up the shopping then is surprised they need to pay. Out comes the fucking bag, out comes the bastard purse after 10 mins card found, do you have a loyalty card? FUCK ME back in the purse CUNT. Old woman ohh its a lovely day just been to see my daughter blahh blahh just pay you old cunt and fuck off no-ones interested. My turn at last. ‘Do you need a bag?’ ‘No, she’s in the car! But I could use a pack of razors as I’ve grown a fucking beard waiting, you ugly fucking cunt.’

Nominated by Mr Kittons

52 thoughts on “Supermarkets (2)

  1. It always pisses me right off when I who have two or three items finds some old tart with a tartan shopping trolley AND the supermarket trolley literally does a Roger Bannister to get to the checkout before me – and what’s she doing? buying multiple packs of biscuits, bog rolls, cakes, then, surprised she has to pay at the end, suddenly realises as she gets the groats out of her purse that she wants to buy fucking lottery tickets, and weren’t the fig rolls supposed to be half price?

    Mrs. Boggs has started to have home deliveries, but you don’t always get the best of the bunch (bent tins etc). I usually go in for shaving cream and the things she forgets to put on the list, and perhaps the odd apple or strawberries.

    Why do so many obese punters buy so many cakes and people with the arse hanging out of their trousers and don’t look as though they have a pot to piss in buy so many scratchcards? Cunts

  2. This cunting should be listed as Supermarkets (2) as I’ve cunted it before.

  3. At the local Co-Op they have 2 tills at the fag counter. If there’s no other customers at either till, I start unloading my basket at the till with the assistant standing behind it – then get asked to “come to this till please” as they indicate the other one… Every time – Cunts !

    Oh and whilst I’m on, whatever happened to a bit of privacy at the till ? It’s either some wheezing old cunt sidling right up within arse-rubbing distance behind me, or marching up and dropping their groceries at the other side of till I’m still being served on. Impatient, insufferable cunts !

  4. This is the only downside to Lidl – you have to wait a while to be served. Thankfully though if I’m not buying much the person in front of me will usually ask if I want to go first if they have significantly more than I do.

  5. Wimmin who work on supermarket chaekouts who gossip and chatter blabbering crap to other wimmin customers and hold the queue up for ages are monumental cunts…

    • Happened to me in Morrisons the other day. The checkout with the smallest queue turned out to be the longest wait. My Kershaw’s ready meals were rapidly thawing as the two of them prattled on about fuck all. The older the woman on the checkout, the more likely she’s only working there to give herself the opportunity to socialize.

  6. My experience too Mr Kittons, I feel your pain… next time suggest you use the razors to cut your wrists.

  7. The culmination of our evolutionary need to feed.

    You don’t want to be there, the poor young lass on the till certainly doesn’t want to be there but there’s fuck all else going. Full of old people on a day out to buy digestives and milk, or maybe they’re just lost. Grossly overweight fucks, and gross fucks. Kids with no sense of spatial awareness just waiting to get run over by my trolley. Shit lighting, smells like a freshly bleached corridor in a geriatric home, and piss poor quality food.

    Do you have a clubcard? No just let me out of here!

  8. This happened to me once too often.The silly old cow in front of me took a fucking age to find her purse, then started counting out small change before losing track and starting all over again. I bludgeoned her with a frozen pork leg.

  9. I’m fortunate to have a local shop round the corner from me. Staff know me so good customer service, not many cunts just decent locals and no queues, everything you need even though it’s a smaller shop and decent selection of liquor. Shelves are stocked with the likes of Sipsmith, Hendricks, Grey Goose and Ciroc. Crates of beer as well. No need to use the local Sainsbury’s which is also round the corner. Shit customer service, smells of shite, so big you end up with dehydration and blistered feet. Also, full of fucking thick wall-punchers amd window-lickers (staff and cuntstomers). Fuck Sainsbury’s.

      • Never used Sainsburys but those who do like to try and give the impression that it’s “upmarket”
        Pretentious cunts…

      • Sainsburys are good for peanut butter and a good deal on Ben and Jerry’s on the rare occasion I have it but that’s about all I use it for.

    • We too have a great local Off License. Food and bog rolls are for squares – fuck ‘em.

    • Local Sainsbury’s employ an uppity cunt that is a dead-ringer for Keegan out of Neverenders. Miserable-as-sin fucker.
      I’ve been polite to the cunt for three years, now I just shop elsewhere.

  10. Subsidiary combination cuntings here. My local co-op has to stuff so many cabinets full of pizza and chiggun fryables (it’s happily light on quinoa and beard maintenance products) into the space, that obscenely fat cunts drooling over the lard display completely block the aisles. You don’t need food for the next three months, Mr. Creosote, fuck off.
    I would also like to cunt digital checkouts, which work maybe 50% of the time as intended. Though this may be exceptional: local Co staff lad told me yesterday this store’s were the worst he’d ever had to deal with. Digital checkout, and take a punt on its not refusing to register the final item, forcing a wait for staff member to decide we’d better go to another machine and start all over again? Or human checkout, in line behind cunt with extensive lottery needs, old lady with life story to tell and just under the right money secreted in a bag inside a bag inside a bag under shoplifted goods, and family of uncontrollable chav brats? Decisions.

    • Tesco digital checkout tried to mug me of 20p. Yes, I can do basic arthimatic, and yes I will hold up the cunting line whilst someone opens up that machine. Fuck you and your basket of crunchy wank, I’ll be damned if Tesco gets a free 20p from me.

      • I tried paying for three special offer packs of plain KitKats recently, automat just fucked about endlessly, so I calmly and naturally put them in bag and walked out.
        It was bloody obvious no-one was bothered to come and “assist.”
        Lazy fuckers.
        Kick their man-clits.

  11. I was in Tescos yesterday when I spotted a woman with four feral kids. One of them ran into her, sending two large cartons of milk crashing to the floor.
    She fell to the floor and began sobbing her eyes out.
    An ideal time to use a well-known phrase I thought….

    “Control your kids you chav cunt”….

    • People falling on the deck and crying in public? Sounds like the World Cup is having a negative influence on society. I blame Ronaldo, Neymar and the Iranians.

      Did you help her to her feet Cuntley?

    • You weren’t quick enough, JRC. You should have been the first to fall to the floor and burst into tears, depriving her of her standard riposte. A good position from which to bite her no doubt oedematous ankles, too.

  12. Now that Dimblecunt is retiring from Question Time, Clare Balding has been offered the position and has accepted. The BBC have furthermore announced that she (it?) will be self-identifying as a disabled black transperson during filming.
    This is now fact as I have applied left-wing principles to the process (make shit up and convince yourself entirely of its validity).

      • Or Owen Jones?
        He could scweam and scweam until he’s sick if anyone dares say the wrong thing…

    • Dimbleborissimus retiring ?
      Hope he’s in Carkers’ Corner.
      Maybe he’ll go on some silver-surfing two-on-one sessions with those North people, and spend 12 hours a day on his website, contemplating his Verhofjizz-encrusted navel.

  13. The express checkouts are also a fucking joke!

    An instance is: you get some cunt who’s got their own bag, but for some unknown fucking reason decides to scan everything first, pile it up on the out tray and then fucking load it into their bag?


    • Sorry, ARS. That was me. Hadn’t quite got used to the procedure, having had to twist my own arm to force myself to use the damn thing in the first place. Won’t happen again.

    • Neither of you can be that bad though, at least you’ve both made onto here!

      Apology accepted!

    • Waitrose is pretty much the supermarket of the pretentious asshole anyway.

      • I once did a 20 mile, nearly 1 1/2 hour, round trip across Leicester to Waitrose to get some raspberry vinegar I needed for a recipe. It took me ages to find, cost a fortune and then I couldn’t even fucking taste it in the food. Not been there since, even when passing.

      • An hour and a half round trip for raspberry vinegar, Moggie? I really don’t know what to say. Extraordinary.

        : ) .

      • I’m not at all easily offended, and I totally understand your point. I was just trying to make the recipe exactly as it stated and it turned out to be a complete waste of time/money/thought. Nowadays I improvise or just entirely ignore the ingredient I don’t have unless I can get it round the corner. Just thinking, this was around 3 years ago and I still have over half of the fucking 250ml bottle left!

      • Unfortunately you can’t change where you were born, at least I know my way around, not that there’s anywhere interesting to go.

  14. God, those supercunts that have to find the exact fucking change, and spend a decade trawling through their purse for that 26p, as if they’re doing a big fucking favour to the supermarket.

    Just give ’em a couple of tenners and let them sort out the fucking change! They’re a multi-billion pound business, while you’re just some hard-up tightfisted worthless cuntard. They don’t give two wet fucks for your 26p!

    • You can bet the cunt CEO would take it if it was part of his fucking annual bonus for ripping off the poor.

  15. Got stuck behind a woman several months ago. He shop was about £150.

    Bought clothing, which had to be taken off of the hangers and neatly folded by the checkout girl. Needless to say she took her time placing the items in her bags.

    Then spent an eternity to find her purse, from which she produced about 20 vouchers- which were scanned one by one but making NO difference to the fucking transaction total amount.

    Finally wanted to pay using an app on her phone. Must admit to not knowing this was possible. Produced the phone, had to log in, then find the app (which took ages as there was virtually no signal in the supermarket), only for it not to work the first time so had to repeat the process.

    I was immediately behind her and had a couple of items, paying as I often do, with cash. No apology for keeping me fucking waiting for about 10 minutes. Selfish bitch- no thoughts about anyone but herself.

    Was under the impression modern technology was supposed to improve and help us with our busy lives?

    • I think that’s known as a misapprehension Willie. When will we ever learn… 🙃

    • I’m sure S&T must have made considerable advances in the field of cattle-prods.

  16. You then find hard-up middle-class Mr & Mrs Cuntstick shopping at Aldi for some cheap bargains and “Aldi’s own” tins of baked beans; but as soon as they push their trolley to the boot of the car, out come the Waitrose shopping bags because these cunts wouldn’t be seen dead emptying their boot with anything less in front of their cuntish neighbours!

    Cheap cunts

  17. Nothing wrong with that, surely? I always use my Fortnum’s bags in Lidl. And get my valet to pay, too.

  18. Only been to Aldi once.
    Thought we’d taken a wrong turn and entered a third world famine relief warehouse.
    Almost everything was still on pallets.
    No cohesion either. Huge legs of smoked ham on one pallet, right next to a box of steel toe-cap workmans’ boots (all size 12)

  19. To which may I add the ignorant cow that leaves her shopping part way through the checkout, blocking everybody else while she ambles off to find some more junk to buy. This Momma Troll then gets shirty when the rest of us just want to pay and get out. You came by car, go around again you arrogant, useless bitch!

  20. Robin Day was a class act and, I think, virtually impossible to follow.
    Naively, I thought he’d even had a chair named after him; it turned out that there was a designer of the same name.

  21. Heard on good authority it will be Eddie Izzard.

    Seriously, I have a feeling whoever it is I will not be watching or listening anymore, especially if the BBC decide to go the PC route- which of fucking course they will.


  22. I don’t bother with the battlefield of the supermarket anymore. I got so fucked out with it all. Got sick to the arse of screaming bastard kids, greasy chav kid-squeezers of parents with their lycra gear and curtain loop earrings, obese cunts in spacker chariots pretending they’re “disabled” and doddering old casket duckers running into everything. I opted for the lazy antisocial cunt’s method of online grocery shopping. I’ve never looked back. Should have done it ages ago.

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