Lorraine Kelly

Lorraine Kelly is a cunt.

Can you believe she’s never been cunted?

The cunt is sayin ” let the memory of Jo help us bridge this great divide”
Memory of Jo?

No one knew the cunt until she tried catching bullets.

And the division was their doing not ours.

They are the ones who cannot accept anyone who goes against them or their thoughts.
They were the ones who labelled us all thick racists if we didn’t go along with popstar/actor dictators.

I ain’t the sharpest tool in the picnic basket and I thank all of you for putting up with my nonsense, but nor is Lorraine Kelly, yet she gets paid handsomely for spouting ideas she picks up from other soft soppy cunts.

That non stop gurning smile and squeeling is also the sign of fuckwittery and cuntitude.

I bet she wants every child to ride a unicorn at least once in their lives.

That’s all I’ve got the now, so in the words of many cunters, “someone should cunt Lorraine Kelly”.

Nominated by birdman.  (you have!)

181 thoughts on “Lorraine Kelly

  1. If the Mail is to be believed, then the Grenfell fire was thanks to an Ethiopian taxi driver’s faulty fridge.

    I can feel a cunting brewing for Bob Geldof…

  2. I try not to be a cynical cunt all the time but the ABBC muslim PR machine is in full swing, last few weeks blowing us up with nail bombs and running us down with vans, today opening mosques for shelter and handing out food and clothing following tower block fire.

  3. Suckdick went to the Tower of Babel today to get some camera time in and got heckled by his own mob. Cunt shat himself.
    I’m sick of all these fucking dogooders piling up clothes for the deprived that we all know are going to be on market stalls next week.
    Heard some cunt on a radio phone in saying he drove from Peterbrough to “help out.” So after draining his phone battery telling everyone he knows what a fucking hero he is he thought he’d try and reach a wider audience. Self-absorbed up his own arse CUNT!

    • Most of that stuff will end up on car boot sales, rags for cash, local people’s fridges etc

      It’s almost like people are waiting for the next disaster so they can act like cunts.

      Two quotes from today.

      Random sambo……”it’s cos its like da local community init, pullin togever, like…for da community”

      Labour Party nobody…..”we have to fill the area with love”

      Drug dealing cunts and worthless political fuckwits.

  4. Floyd Mayweather has agreed a mixed martial arts contest against Conor McGregor in Las Vegas on August 26th. Mayweather is famous for using any means possible to give himself an advantage over his opponent in order to remain unbeaten. In recent years he has been allowed to choose the dates and venues of his contests and has hand-picked opponents who he knew wouldn’t give him a problem, either because they were past it or were carrying an injury. It surprises me that he would now be willing to risk defeat by competing under a different set of rules against an experienced MMA fighter. I might have to change my opinion of him, maybe he isn’t such a blatant coward after all.
    Oh wait, I’ve got it wrong! It isn’t going to be MMA rules after all, it’s going to be a boxing match. Against an opponent who has never boxed professionally in his life before. Ah well. Some things never change.

  5. What a cunt! Just missed my cunting train. They changed the platform and didn’t tell any cunt. Then get some chippy paki cunt tell me its my own fault for not paying enough attension. Well I wasn’t the only one, about half a dozen of us missed the cunt. Now I’ll get another chippy paki cunt telling me my ticket isn’t valid on a later train.

    And its not like they are fucking shy with their prices either. Cunts.

  6. Apologies for further Grenfell hijacking on Lorraine Kelly’s cunting, but I see this is being spun across the TV networks as a pity party for Muslims. Yes, it is that stark. Every shot of the ‘crestfallen community’ is wall-to-wall hijab and niqab territory. What better way to salve the public mistrust of Islam then to paint them as victims of such a terrible incident?

    Clarifications. I wouldn’t wish this level of death, loss, danger on anyone. I know how cynical the above comes across. And I don’t expect everyone to agree. But like others, I am struggling to be empathetic for many reasons. And going full confessional, yes, there’s an element of ‘now your community can understand loss on a grand scale’.

    Might not be a popular view. But I won’t be the only one holding it.

    • I am of the same opinion. It is becoming an unsavoury propaganda exercise and is fuelled by media attempting to make media “gains” over the establishment. I am sickened by the behaviour of reporters and the portrayal of “Refugees” in distress. The Disaster Plan has been hi-jacked and I simply can’t believe what I have seen. The fuckwit whites dispensing charity to demonstrate there worthiness is quite disgusting. Do I feel sorry for the victims,? I don’t really know, I was, but all this hype has made me feel quite cynical. BTW, a good and honest post.

    • Agree entirely. You are NOT cynical, you just recognise that if it looks like a turd, smells like a turd…

      I wonder how long it will be before the Muslime Cuntcil of Great Britain blame Christians for this fire…

  7. BTW Birmingham Newstreet looks like downtown moga-fucking-dishoo. Expecting an aluha ashtray any minute. My arse is twitching like a rabits nose.

  8. The homes of rich people in Kensington should be seized for Grenfell Tower victims, says Steptoe Corbyn….

    Well, they could start with Lily Mong’s mansion… Wonder how ‘bleeding heart’ old spaz features would be if this actually happened…

    • I can imagine…


      That would be a joy to watch…

      • Corbyn should just piss off with this cheap point scoring, making a point of visiting the residents.

        Why should May visit them? A visit from the PM is hardly any comfort for those who lost their homes and/or loved ones.

        Corbyn and Harriet Harperson can go choke on one. Opportunistic cunts.

    • Just shows that the old cunt wouldn’t think twice about taking people’s property under State control,and giving it to the “needy”. We’d best all prepare to have a “disadvantaged” family billeted on us if the bastard ever takes control,which,considering the state of the present government,isn’t impossible.

    • Who the fuck is Corbyn to say one persons home should be seized to house another? Why just Kensington, why not some rich compared to most of us old cunt who leads the Labour party.

      The politics of envy in action but it demonstrates why the man is so dangerous and not fit to lead. What he is saying is destroy someone elses life to fix someone he deems deserving. So lets say you make the rich person homeless and seize everything they have, what next you commie cunt? Whose home do you seize to house the homeless poor family you just created?

      Thick as shit and half as useful.


      • So Corbyn doesn’t find all life equal….. he despises rich people and wants to use their homes to house other people…….. now where have we heard that one before?

        Lenin – well done Comrade, you make me proud.

        And so many people voted for this cunt.

        Fuck, I think the gene pool in the Uk needs a spot of purging here.

      • I am beginning to think that a high proportion of the UK voting population is as thick as a castle wall.

        Unless the proportion of very low earners or dole bludgers has now reached a tipping point and they are eager to see the Corbyn politics of envy in full swing.

  9. I want to give the wind a good cunting.
    I was eating a burrito for lunch today when a sudden gust blew over the tiny pot of ultra-hot chili sauce which comes with the burrito. In heroic fashion I gave both the wind and the pot a well-deserved verbal cunting for the inconvenience they had caused me. This pissed my missus off something chronic and she attacked my shoulder with both of her fists, causing me to spill some burrito on my shirt as I adopted a defensive pose.
    Bloody fucking wind.

  10. The angry left is a cunt.

    Think about trumps election campaign… Promising hope to the forgotten, promising things that were never going to be a reality, blaming everything from war to disease on the opposition, getting the twitterati fired up beyond belief, spreading fake news, repeating the same lies, shouting down the opposition, crowding out media viewpoints and telling everyone they are biased… And most of all taking a superior high road upon all else.

    Now replace trump in the opening of the above with Corbyn… Could be either campaign but the result of election would be the same… In 100 days of Corbyn being PM we would all have realised what a terrible fraud he was and that for the next five years we would be stuck with a lying lunatic incapable of achieving one tenth of his promise.

    Before Corbyn we were suffering from the perpetually offended and angry twitterati…. The left were suffering from being virtually non existent… Corbyn has now combined the two and given us the angry left… And we are now fucked because of it… Cunts.

    • God help us all if this cunt ever got into power.

      I’m quite serious when I say that should that abomination ever happen, I hope MI5 or the ”dark forces” take him and his lunatic fringe cronies out.

      • Compo and his followers remind me, at best, of the daft old cunt of a priest in the 1953 War of the Worlds film.
        Marching towards the homicidal Martians armed only with blind faith in a book of old bollocks.
        Guess what happened to him…

      • The same thing we all wish would happen to Steptoes Corbyn and the Momentum cunts?

      • Be even better if we were the ones wielding the Martian Deaths rays.

      • Check out some of Milo Yiannapolis or Paul Joseph Watson vid’s, takes down and owns snowflake cunts.

      • Or the works of Tommy Robinson.

        Talking of snowflakes, I await Big Don’s next bout of snowflake baiting. Once he gets out of this low rent stitch up he’s going through.

  11. People eulogising Anita Pallenberg are cunts… Such a load of crap has been spouted since news of her demise broke… All this ‘She was a Stone’ and ‘Sixth Stone’ bollocks… Anyone who thinks she had any influence on their live or recorded work is a complete cunt… She was a groupie who got lucky, and nearly went through the whole band (by fucking them)… Then there’s the shite about how ‘She changed the way we all dressed’… Complete bullshit,of course… And as a human being?… A smackhead who couldn’t even look after her own kids, and we won’t even go into the 17 year old who was killed in her bedroom… Her young son was in the house when her teenage toyboy (cough) shot himself…

    It’s a grief circus when any rock star passes away (Bowie, Prince etc), but now groupies are getting the treatment too?… The mind boggles…

    • Guess the standards for being a sleb are even lower than we suspected. Now groupie whores are being eulogised? Christ what next, slebs gardeners? People who once shook their hand?

    • As John Inverdale would say, “Rose-cunted spectacles”, Norman.

      • Seems to be a lot of that these days Emperor. The first case would be Diana – from maligned to Sainted overnight!

      • Apparently, the dear residents of the self combusting tower block are complaining that Teresa May had not spoken to them. Good for her. Unlike Steptoe and Kunty Khan she’s not shamelessly using a tragedy for self publicity.
        Proof again what cunts they are compared to her.

        Alright, she’s one as well but just not in this instance.

      • At the risk of appearing heartless, also she has other matters to attend to – like running the fucking country for instance!

      • I really do despise these bouts of cheap political point scoring.

        So much for Cuntface Corbyn’s brand of ”gentle” politics, his politics are just as low-rent and grubby as the rest, if not more because of the bastards and his Commie Crew try to make out that they’re nice, benevolent human beings when the opposite is true.

        P.S, where the hell’s Birdman, first cunting of his in ages and he ain’t about!

      • Too be fair she wasn’t really a groupie per se, she was a actress and a it girl socialite before the stones. So she had a bit of a name for herself, Don’t mean to get technical Norm but groupie she was not.

        She was also a drug provider and a whorish muse and if accounts are right a black magic witch and certified bitch

      • An actress who was so crap they had to overdub Fenella Fielding’s voice over her part in Barbarella… Pallenberg was, unlike Marianne Faithfull, unknown to the social whirl of swinging 60s Britain, and only her hooking Brian Jones in Munich got her into that world…. She was despised by Loog Oldham, Watts, Wyman, Taylor and Stu, and eventually, Jones too… And going from shagging Brian, to shagging Keith, to shagging Mick is actually supergroupie standard… She is/was famous simply for being a Rolling Stones fuck buddy…. Nobody would give a fuck otherwise…

      • I was just saying she wasn’t nameless like most groupies are The stones had plenty of throw a way groupies. Definitely a slut not debating that.

        She certaintly didn’t change the way I dress and the 6th stone thing is ridiculous I agree. Ian stewart would be the 6th stone and oldham could be considered the 7th stone from a collaborators perspective

      • No worries, TitSlapper old pal… Pallenberg was like Germaine Greer or Pamela Des Barres in the 60s: a groupie, but a just a more high profile and high maintenance one… A bit like certain WAGs with footballers today (like Wayne Rooney’s hookers)… I bet Brian (and Bill and Charlie) cursed the day he ever met her… Keef’s mother, Doris, loathed her too… Close Stones associate in the 60s, Christopher Gibbs, actually said about Pallenberg: ‘If we were in another time, she (Anita) would have been burned as a witch…’

        And wasn’t it Bianca Jagger who said Pallenberg was like a cross between a wolf and a shark?…

  12. Ten quid says there was fuck all in the Ethiopians’ fridge.

    Those cunts will go to extreme measures to get something to eat.
    When I worked over there…. I was tail gunner on a garbage truck….

    • Thinking about the Manchester Arena and London Bridge deaths (not to mention Westminster, Paris, 9/11,Berlin, Nice etc), if one believed in that sort of thing, some could say that muzzies coppping it in that tower block could possibly be ‘Cashback!’ as Alan Partridge might say…

  13. JR, I think this country has gone mad.

    A 10 million pound refurbishment @80k per flat, just to make the building look “pretty” and meet some sort of carbon emission target, turned the whole building into a blow torch.

    This is then spun into some sort of “evil Tory cuts” diatribe.

    I give up, I really do

    • It’s the same every time.

      If these cunts could they’d blame ”evil Tory cuts” for the extinction of the Dinosaurs, the Roman conquests, the Black Death, cancer and 9/11!

      Makes you despair at the rank stupidity of people doesn’t it?

      • Pretty much all we can do. That and pray these snowflakes and their ilk all get theirs.

  14. Those cunts donating bottled water to the Tower fire tragedy, need a good cunting,
    piss taking cunts, its a bit too late for that, the horse as bolted, all those poor “cockneys” have perished.

    Fatty Thornberry on QT is a cunt

    • Ugh, I’m passing on QT, not good for the peace of mind, especially when I have a promotion interview tomorrow. Also, I can;t stand that smug looking White Abbott.

      • Won’t watch it any more, it’s the equivalent of inviting a bunch of cunts you know you ain’t gonna like into your house. If you watch it willingly you deserve what ya get.

      • I want to bludgeon that corpulent, opinionated, gobshite Thornberry. She is a lardy fucking socialist.

        I also want to punch that fucking old woman Norman Lamb right in the nuts.

    • Am much relieved I missed Dingleberry. A sort of obese, down-market Sybil Fawlty, minus the charm…

      • Thornbwrry reminds of an uglier fatter version of Hyacinth Bucket except for the patriotism.

  15. Guess which talentless gobshite wench has been mouthing again? Yep, Lilly Mong. Apparently, she’s a fully trained fire investigator, because she’s telling everyone that the true death toll in the high rise fire is actually 150. She arrived at this figure after carrying out a thorough investigation of the building, and finding ALL the bodies of the people currently missing. Actually, she didn’t. She just turned up on site and told Jon Snow, who is also a lefty, white poppy wearing cunt. I know lefties are shameless cunts, but to get yourself some publicity out of something that has cost innocent people their lives? That takes a special kind of mega cunty cunt.

    I’m really hoping the Mong will shut the fuck up for a few months now.

    • She is really showing her true attention seeking colours here.You cant speculate on a news program about an amount that cannot yet be quamtified.Everyone knows the death count reported is confirmed deaths and that more people are dead but newscasters and the government can pluck a figure out of thin air although Diane Abbot has announced that the death toll is about 300 000.

    • Lily Mong on Newsnight after a major disaster?!
      Is this what British news has become?!…. Getting a spaz faced attention whore popbitch gobshite to comment on multiple deaths?!

      What the fuck is next?! Miley Cyrus being asked about the Tu-144 crash at the 1973 Paris Air Show?! Kunty Perry’s documentary about Hiroshima?! A new book called ‘The London Blitz’ by Ariana Grande?!

      Fucking hell….

  16. Got here at last.
    Slow internet connection again, and this is the first time I’ve managed to load the page today.
    The strange thing is, I’ve also lost my voice.
    Last night it was a bit raspy, and today, nothing, not a sound.
    Totally mute.
    So i haven’t spoken to any cunt all day without a note pad and pen, and couldn’t even converse here.
    That’s weird, innit?

    Silenced on both fronts.

    I needed skins earlier and had to make the gesture of rolling a doob and smoking it to the kiosk guy.
    Fuckin embarrassing.

    My workmates will be chuffed if it doesn’t get sorted though. They wont have to put up with my singing all day.

    Any way losing yer voice is a cunt. 🙂


    It is weird being out of Britain and seeing pictures of the residents of the tower block.
    Either they are mostly Muslimes or sandals and socks is the latest fashion in london.

    It’s crazy that they are getting donations, as Asimplearsehole pointed out.
    And why should the prime minister be there?

    That fat tongued cunt Jamie Oliver tweet of support and offer of help was a shameless advert for his chain of eateries.
    “To any of the 100’s of FAMILIES effected by this terrible fire at Grenfell Tower Notting Hill today. You are all welcome to hang out in my restaurant and be fed and watered by my Jamie’s italian team”
    Fuckin hang out?
    The team ?

    Hopefully i can get this slow shite sorted for tomorrow.
    Not really concerned about my voice.
    It’s actually refreshing not being able to have a conversation.
    A couple we know came around for an hour earlier and i got away with not having to join in their boring conversation.

    Goodnight/good morning, whatever. 🙂

    Here, how come goodnight is one word, yet good morning or good afternoon and good evening are two words.

    Fuck, sorry to go on. You can see i haven’t spoken all day. 🙂

    Toot toot, I’m oot!!!

    Pps. Sterling cunting, birdman. 🙂

    • Sorry to hear bout UR connection bman you contact your internet service provider yet maybe they have a better idea of whats happening? FYI I live in the countryside and when it gets really really windy the connection sometimes goes askew If I lived in the city this probably wouldn’t be a problem. If I’m not mistaken gibraltar gets extremely windy right?!

      • Cheers Titslapper.
        I thought it was the wind.

        We get two directions of wind here and they even have names.

        The wind from the East is called “Levante” and the West wind is called “Poniente” .
        Its how people greet each other here.
        “Hello, levante/poniente today”
        That might sound boring but the wind depends on what sort of day yer having.
        Levante is damp as fuck and poniente is dry even though it comes from the Atlantic.

        The wind is also the reason i have to keep my hair relatively short. If the wind doesn’t blow it everywhere the damp curls it up.

        And in the summer, poniente can bring really really cold water to the Med. Bbbrrrr.

  17. A benefit concert is being planned for the victims of the Grenfell Tower tragedy.

    It will be hosted by Tony Blackburn.

    • FFS, MORE CASH to be thrown at gimmeegrants! More fucking sales of candles, more vigils more love and all the shite that goes with it. I said at the last that these snowflake fuckers were looking forward to the next tragedy. Its become a pastime, an entertainment and is FAST becoming an industry.! ! ! !

  18. This fucking attention whore of a bitch slag claims police and fire crews told her of the estimated 150 death toll.

    No one will know until it has been investigated. Until then this tart should keep her silly fucking pie hole closed. Jon Snow is an utter cunt for giving her the oxygen of attention.

    Pair of useless, despicable, subversive wankstains using the tragedy for socialist political capital.

    • I am angry. Who in fuck put forward this spunk ridden syphilitic whore as National Spokesperson for the United Kingdom.? Is the rancid bitch elected? Is she a ranking authority on forensics? Is she endowed with superpowers or insight ?

      No… Then shut the fuck up, piss off, go back to your cock gobbling and leave it well alone. Useless piece of putrid gurgle turd.

    • In fairness to Jon I am sure he was told he had to speak to the stupid tone deaf mong by his producers.

  19. Some crappy flyer through front door this am advertising Community Garden morning.

    At the bottom, some crappy, Christmas-cracker quote from Jo Cox…

    So you defo won’t be bumping into me down at the local yogurt-knitting workshop…


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