Alan Barnes


Alan Barnes needs a cunting. For those who’ve forgotten, Barnes is the 68 year old, 4’6″ disabled bloke who got pushed over during a mugging and broke his collar bone. You might remember that a young woman called Katie Cutler was responsible for helping to raise £330,000 for Barnes to buy a house away from the one he was mugged outside of. I saw signs of his cuntishness when he sold that house after a few months because he didn’t like it and moved to Shetland. Well now he’s shown exactly how much of a cunt he really is.

Whilst raising money for Barnes, Cutler accepted and offer from a PR firm to do so work for her for £550 per day. Rather stupidly, instead of keeping some money back to pay the final bill, which came to just over £6,600, she gave every penny to Barnes. I would imagine she’s regretting that decision now, because being unable to pay the firm, she was taken to court and now has a CCJ against her. She still can’t pay and is facing action from bailiffs.

Now, you might think that Barnes would consider it his moral duty to step in and help the woman who made him richer than he otherwise would have been had he not been mugged. He’s offered a tenner. TEN FUCKING QUID. Apparently, he doesn’t want to look like he’s showing off. He also doesn’t want people sending him begging letters. That in itself is fair enough, and to be equally fair, Katie hasn’t actually asked for help. BUT, she isn’t some fucking hard luck case asking for ten grand. She’s the REASON he has more money than he could dream of.

It’s not often that I get very angry by something I read in the papers, and when I do, it’s usually caused by terrorists. But this has really made my blood boil. Apart from anything else, it’s because it doesn’t seem to occurred to him that this would be the perfect opportunity to show his gratitude, and give something back to the woman who showed him such kindness. He didn’t ask for her to do this, she did it because she’s a good, kind woman. He didn’t have to accept the money, he could just as easily have said ‘thanks very much, but I’d prefer it if you gave it to charity’.

He didn’t do that though. The pound signs burned into his greedy little eyes, and he took the money. That put him in her debt. And the fact that it doesn’t trouble his little mind that he does actually owe this woman for the kindness, and secure financial position that she put him in, shows what an ignorant, greedy little cunt Alan Barnes is.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

31 thoughts on “Alan Barnes

  1. Should have left the little cunt to rot and gave him fuck all… Hope his head explodes, the twat…

  2. I sent him a begging letter ,but he replied that he was a bit short right now…….
    Go fuck yourself Alan Barnes , you may be tiny but you are a massive cunt…………

  3. He isn’t such a bad bloke. He has been very helpfull and supportive in suggesting someone ( not him, of course ) sets up a small fund to help Katie which he says should raise the cash to pay the PR bill as it is only a “small amount” And lets not forget he is a devout Christian too. No doubt, now he has all this money he will be refusing to accept any benifit payments and all his medical needs will be met by private health care providers which he will pay for himself. Its the Christian thing to do, after all.

  4. Does this cunt only work on Xmas Eve?

    Now it may not be nice to poke fun at his condition but as he’s a cunt, he’s relinquished that right.

  5. If the golom lookalike treats people who try to help him out like that, no surprise to me the the nasty little shit may get a slap every now and then

  6. What a Dobbie looking, sponging cunt; I hate people like him, thinking it’s acceptable not to return favours, in a time of need. Fingers crossed he gets mugged again….

  7. Hes not related to warwick davis is he?hes playing the part of scrooge inthis years christmas panto,this little piss spot is a true cunt i nearly choked on my fucking bacon buttie when i read this this morning this cunt should be put in stocks on christmas eve at his local market where the town folk can take turns in pissing and shiting all over him,he knocks me a fucking sick,hes a cunt.

  8. Been looking up Katie cutler this morning and found allegations that she wanted the PR firm to get her on big brother and other tat.
    I know not to believe everything ,but today every cunt wants to be a star.
    So if it’s true ,she can go fuck herself for being a fame seeking whore.
    Also she is supposedly a beautician ,so why didn’t she give the little chinless cunt a makeover somplete with curly wig.

    PS. The little cunt looks like my dick after I’ve been swimming in cold water………

    • Fallacy of moral equivalence which is a fallacy of relevance. Just because she is a fame hungry whore doesn’t make him any less of a cunt.

      • After posting it i realised i hadn’t mentioned he’s still a cunt for his arrogance, but i never tried to absolved him from his cuntishness………..
        If she was using the PR company for her own exposure then it’s her debt ,and her fault the bailiffs came calling..
        We’ll check in on her in a year and see if she’s on celebrity bake off or some other tat.
        Remember after she helped him she wanted a charity set up in her name. That sounds like a hunger for fame to me ,other wise she could have called it by another name…………..
        PS. Whats with the word games ,some cunters (me) aren’t as eloquent and could be left feeling inferior to wordsmiths such as yourself………..

    • I think she fell in love with mr barnes,yeh she knocks m a fucking sick as well,shes a cunt,and on the subjects of cunts that fucking sad rat face cunt fuck gary lineker knocks me a fucking sick let all them so called kiddie fucking refugees shack up with him,the mans off his fucking rocker hes a pure cunttttt.

      • Last night on the spanish champions league review show, they kept showing clips of lineker, Rio and two other cunts whom I’ve forgot.
        I hadn’t seen these cunts before talking balls and all i thought was that it was scripted to fuck. No one holds a conversation like that ,do they have someone telling them what to say through a small earpiece.
        As a proud foxes fan ,i’d just like to tell linekar that he is a fucking cunt for what he said about Calais and hope he goes back to supporting spurs and barca….big eared ,fat lipped cunt……

  9. Both the troll and the fat lass who organised the appeal come out of it badly.
    He’s an avaricious, compulsory abortion-dodger,and she was looking to boost her “social media profile”.Just proves that all these facebook and twitter appeals are a load of shite.The only ones I have a modicum of sympathy for is the PR firm the fat lass engaged and then called worse than shit when they sent her a bill.
    Pair of twats.

    • Yeah fucking ET! Only difference being when he “phoned home” he reversed the charges!

      Fucking tight-wad!

  10. What a nasty little cunt Barnes is. He could easily give the money quietly and without publicity if he doesn’t want to be seen as showing off.
    His behaviour may well put off others who are thinking of doing something for others. Fucking little gremlin deserves another beating and for no one to come to his assistance. He may feel a bit different then.

  11. The fucking PR firm are a bunch of cunts for not waiving their fees and pressing on with a CCJ, he is a cunt for not bailing her out and she is a cunt for not knowing her legal rights.

    If I was her I would tell the bailiffs to go fuck themselves, a CCJ means fuck all, the bailiffs have NO automatic right to enter your home with a CCJ.

    Proper HIGH Court Bailiffs can ONLY enter business properties and seize goods, in private matters involving an individual YOU have to let them in to your house so they can issue a walking possession order (which YOU have to sign) before they can even threaten to seize goods.

    private & business are TWO different things, but most people are so retarded these days they shit themselves when a bailiff comes knocking and lying about the alleged powers they have.

  12. She is clearly an attention seeker.Who needs to hire a PR firm just for raising money for some oompa loompa?Maybe he was just pissed that she helped him just to make a name for herself.

    • He is still a cunt though.Anyone got him in the Dead Pool?He looks like he is ready to expire.

  13. This whole fiasco can be summed up by your a cunt if you do and your a cunt if you dont. Listen and learn children.

  14. I can’t decide if he looks more like Casper the friendly ghost or a light bulb…. maybe 40watt

    • Fucking lightbulb, hilarious.
      Cant stop looking at his picture now.
      Cheers Fuglyucker that’s lightened the mood……….

  15. This story pissed me off from day one. Its the total over the topness from social media and the woman who set up a fundraising British Empire Medal for setting up a fundraising page ?? which to be honest, people set up just giving/fundraising pages every day so why dish out medals? Charity has got more greedy these days, people wanting and wanting more, bring back the fucking good old days when you just stuck money in a collection tin or in large plastic blind dog with a slot in its head for the the blind. All this sticking ice buckets over your heads, wearing pink ALL deserves a HUGE cunting, we got by back in the old days helping the needy out with out running the gauntlet of Shelter and other charity arse holes jumping out in front of you while your walking home with your fucking shoping asking you to sign up a direct debit to sunmit wear the perosn doing it gets a cut!! thats not charity!!

    • I’ve always hated organised fun for charity, ice buckets, fancy dress, growing facial hair etc.
      If someone does something original for a good cause , then fair enough. But when it comes to some doss cunt collecting money for a bungee jump or “fun” run then they can fuck off
      Seeing cunts around the globe doing the same thing is not zany, its fucking boring………as boring and shameless as that fat cunt James Condom doing his carpool pile of shite over and over and over………..

      • Yeah I cunted the fuckers at my gaff who did the wolf-run (pissing about in the mud like a kid for the day), who expected the day off because it was for cha-rah-tay.

        I said to one odious manager type cunt (who’s on at least £250 a day) to not take a day off (costing the company) but to work it and donate his day’s pay to said charity – well – the look he gave me was as if I’d smeared dog shit in his eyes!

        Cunt raised fifty quid or summat. Woooooo, go you! Cunt!

        Oh and the number of times he got his fucking phone out to show any cunt not even remotely interested…it must have cost our gaff another day’s work while he fucking droned on about every bastard step he’d taken.

        He didn’t even attempt to show me and if the cunt started to spout off in my earshot I made sure a drill or Claxton or radio was making maximum noise until he did fuck off. Utter cunt!

  16. After reading this I am so happy that the only charity I support was set up to enable “child refugees” to come and live in England; the funny thing is that PR companies keep offering to pay me! poor girl picked a loser with the pixie, should have said he was from shiteastan, fucking government would have paid. Lesson one has been learned “Keep your own council and fuck everyone else” I do feel sorry for her though, not going to start a fund or anything just so long as she knows people do care. Like fuck.

  17. I bet the short arsed cunt of a cunt is quite happy now playing shove your thumb cock up a sheeps arse on Shetland. He could just slip her the cash, no one needs to know. But no, the Snow White fucking twat would rather squeek about how bad life was.

  18. A proper cunt and no error. He needs the Benny Hill Slap atop his polished bonce whilst we collectively point the finger and shout CUNT at him in unison.

    You utter CUNT.

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