It’s a lovely September day today. The sun is shining, the weather is warm but not hot, perfect for sitting out in the back garden with a drink and a couple of newspapers. But you know what, it isn’t a perfect day, because of one minor thing, and that is wasps. The little cunts are everywhere – wasps buzzing around my bins, wasps buzzing around the windows, wasps buzzing around the washing, everywhere there’s fucking wasps.

Wasps – what do they actually do? Apart from sting people and scare skittish folk they seem to serve no purpose or function whatsoever. “Oh, that’s not fair!” says some twat in a beard, “wasps kill all the garden pests and play an important role in our ecosystem! We should love wasps!” he squawks from inside his beekeeper suit, repellent in hand. “Well, twat in a beard, my garden consists of a couple of lawns and a few dead shrubs, so what use are wasps to me?”, I reply, to be greeted by silence and vague mutterings and curses.

So wasps are basically the delinquent hoodies of the insect world, doing sod all apart from hanging around where they’re not wanted and making people feel nervous – they even have bearded idiots of a left-leaning persuasion sticking up for them, just like your common chav.

So there’s no escaping the little cunts, and until the real cold weather comes along they’ll be there, getting on my wick and costing me a fortune in Raid.

Little cunts.

Nominated by: Colin Murray’s Brain

27 thoughts on “Wasps

  1. Bang on cunting,i fucking hate chavs and wasps…..but chavs more,i reckon chav repellent using live wasps would be awesome not to mention entertaining and would give the wasps a reason to exist everyones happy

  2. also could be used as muslim repellent,also entertaining….I love wasps they will be the most usefull creature around if utilised the right way

  3. Wasps are well worth cunting but this summer has seen many more of those bloody horseflies. They have drop tanks and armour and a sting that is a real bastard.
    My mate got a legful walking the dog and his calf swelled up like Diane Abbot’s arse for several days and fucking agony too. Probably brought in by a muslim immigrant with a nest of the buggers in his underpants.

  4. So Big Sam has messed up, the greedy cunt. Who will the dumb FA cunts bring in now? Wouldn’t surprise me if they try and get the dream team of Mario Balotelli as player manager with Gazza as assistant manager. What a load of useless, corrupt old fart cunts the FA are and they are a disgrace to England. The cunts.

  5. The Royal family are cunts,

    I am fed up of hearing about these cunts, they are worse than benefit cheats they cost us a fucking fortune and all they do is Jet around first class style to watch some dumb Fijian (who thought and probably still think King George is their Leader) cunts dance in front of them. They then go to the next former Colony and the same shit goes on. Now if they went to Jamaica and smoked some weed with the Rasta men and said things like ‘I am mashed like a bloodclaat cunt’ and ‘Pass the spliff and white rum Erroll’ that would be interesting. Kate Middletons in the paper in some £1000 dress no doubt all the stupid bitches in Notting Hill are rushing out to buy, and how much do their Castles etc cost. I respect the old Kings from the Medieval times who earnt their right to be Kings and led their Armies against the enemy and many of whom died in Battle or killed the other King in Battle to take the throne. These cunts are there for the sake of being there. In these harsh financial times where British people are being treated like cunts by the Tories, the Royal family are a load of pointless cunts. Imagine how many Hospitals or houses for British homeless people could be built if we didn’t have to pay for these cunts. If anything only the Queen and the Greek cunt should get a pass the rest can go and sign on.

    • The only thing worse than the Royals are the pricks that worship these cunts.
      I’ve no doubt these wankers would queue all day for a turn to lick the blood from the Queens piles between each turd falling into the bowl during a regal dump…..

      • I don’t mind the queen so much and the immediate family. I’m not a huge fan of them either, just indifferent. All the hangers on get on my tits a bit though.

        I cant stand those republican Cromwellian cunts though. Always m oaning “look at how much money they cost” and “They are undemocratic”. Well, the royals don’t need our fucking money and their place in the democratic scheme of things is negligible .

        If you want to moan about democracy then moan about a system which sees a party polling 4 million of the popular vote and only getting one MP where as another polls just 1.5 million and gets 56 seats. That, my dear dear friends is something worth moaning about.

      • Yeah I agree about the voting system being bollocks. To be honest I am not a Republican type and at times I think the Royal family are a nice tradition to keep, I am a bit undecided on whether I like or dislike the cunts, but today I don’t like the cunts.

      • The continued existence of the Monarchy does an excellent job of boiling Lefty piss.
        See, they are useful for something…

      • The Royals don’t cost much in the great scheme of things and as we have a constitutional monarchy they are here to stay.
        The alternative is a President. Do you really want someone like Blair, Hollande etc being in that job. No, didn’t think so.
        Whether you like it or not they bring in masses of tourists who bring in masses of money so I reckon they actually cost fuck all in real terms.

      • They cost something like 80p a year to taxpayers. I’d personally be much happier seeing my money go to them than to the fucking scum that I appear to be supporting via tax, Ni etc.

  6. The type of cunts who fawn over the Royals are usually the first to moan and complain if there’s a family down the street who do fuck all work wise but seem to have everything….

  7. I was once having tea with the vicar (White Anglo Saxon Protestant) at the vicarage when a lady standing next to me was attacked by a wasp. I swatted it down and stamped it into the lawn. I told her that I hated wasps. Oh, she said, don’t be like that, they’re all God’s creatures. I replied that they are certainly not and were created by Satan. End of conversation. Wasps are cunts.

  8. Having one of the little bastards inside a crash helmet at 80mph is a uniquely “entertaining” experience.

  9. Wasps are a pain in my arse but I do admit, hornets scare the flamegrilled piss out of me. However they do predate on wasps, so not all bad news. I don’t have a problem with things like snakes and spiders, but any sight of a hornet buzzing around like a yellow and black attack helicopter, sends me running in the opposite direction. I give them a wide berth.

Comments are closed.