Monthly Archives: April 2016

Wedding anniversaries

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Wedding anniversaries can be a right cunt – especially if you’re a bloke and can never remember when the fuck it is!

Thankfully today is St George’s Day which according to the better half means it should be easier for me to remember when it is. Well, it bloody well doesn’t because who the fuck remembers when St George’s Day is? Apparently I should – because it’s my wedding anniversary. Typical circular female logic!

And every year it’s harder to find a decent card or book a decent restaurant. Yes, anniversaries are a right cunt.

29 years. If I’d killed someone, I have been out years ago – and if you’re reading this , darling, I’m only joking…

Nominated by: Dioclese

Poshness

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Why is it that Posh people look different?

Can you imagine David Cameron talking in an east end accent?

A lot of Posh people have that rosy cheeked look about them and also have uncommon surnames like Cumberbatch.

Fucking Posh cunts.

Nominated by: Black & White Cunt

Prince’s death

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I saw some Sky News in the Pub last night, from 7pm-8pm, the whole hour was arse-licking and mourning for fucking Prince’s Death with the headline “breaking news” and the same clips, tweets and VT’s recycled over and over again.

I turn on the TV this morning, flick on to Sky news to be greeted with the same “breaking news” headline and same fucking bullshit.

Prince was a cunt and now he’s a dead cunt.

But instead of reporting news they tear the arse out of this story for over 16 hours. FUCK OFF.
God help us when the Queen finally dies, I think the BBC will just put up a testcard with a picture of the Queen and the National Anthem for 6 months solid on BBC1, BBC2, BBC4, BBC News & the Red Button.

So Prince is dead, fine report it now fucking move-on you grief jacking, lazy fucking sad excuse for journalist cunts!

Nominated by: Boaby

And now we’ll see nothing but Prince albums, remixes, compilations, out takes and fuck know what else dominating the charts for the next month. Just like the Bowie cunt only much, much worse ‘cos he’s a yank.

Seriously thinking of faking my own death just to push my sales up on iTunes!

Nominated by: Chas C

Politicians [2]

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Lets face it, all politicians are cunts, professional cunts, and you don’t vote for the one you like the most, you vote for the one you despise the least.

The problem we now have is because reasonable people have not taken reasonable measures to address the issues such as migration and terrorism, people will vote for unreasonable people who will use unreasonable measures. 1930s Germany anyone?

I heard today that one of Jeremy Corbens’ fucktard women said that we should sit down and have a cup of tea with isis! You first love, you will be so full of jihadi cum you could be the worlds first portable sperm bank.

All cunts…….

Nominated by: Gutstick Japseye

George Galloway [2]

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Galloway is beyond the cuntisphere’

If that slimy bag of rotten dog shit gets to be London mayor, then there is no hope left for humanity. I hope his opulent lifestyle catches up with the cunt and the ambulance is twenty minutes late.

Nominated by: Gutstick Japseye