Monthly Archives: January 2015

John Hammond

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John Hammond is an annoying little cunt.

This prancing, preening, cocky little twat is being pushed forward (it would seem) as the “face of BBC weather”, being put up to present every feature about the weather on the BBC news. What an ugly little troll of a face it is too, good only for a prolonged spell as a stand-in punchbag. Watching this annoying little cunt, and worse hearing his thin whiny voice is bad enough, but his intonations (“brrrrright and breezy”, “it’ll be a bright, crisssssspp day”) and the annoying way he keeps smacking his lips together before every bloody sentence is the worst.

Add to that his hand movements (creepy in the extreme if you ask me) and the way he almost bounces around as he presents the same boring weather as yesterday and you have a little fanny hole of a annoying little cunt that makes my blood boil every time I see him.

Get that creepy, lisping little cunt off my TV BBC!

Nominated by: Colin Murray’s Brain

Kevin Maguire [2]

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Kevin Maguire, Daily Mirror associate editor, all round wank stain. He’s overdue a cunting. The simple fact he works for that shitty rag the Daily Mirror makes him a cunt. But I’ve just watched him doing a review of the years biggest news stories on Sky News with the Daily Mail’s Andrew Pierce and my hatred of this Geordie scum bag has grown even deeper.

For a start, he’s a left winger. Turns out he’s actually as far to the left as Annie Lennox. Yes, that far. He’s also a rude bastard, constantly talking over Andrew Pierce whenever Pierce said something Maguire didn’t like. That seemed to be pretty much everything Pierce said, because Maguire could be seen shaking his head and talking over Pierce virtually every time Pierce spoke. I have to say, I gained a certain respect for Pierce’s restraint. If Maguire had been that rude to me, I would have been arrested, and Maguire would have been rushed to hospital to have my chair extracted from his mouth. One thing I really cannot tolerate is bad manners. Maguire is a big bag of bad manners.

What really sickens me about this piece of shit though, is his willingness to go on tv and publicly suck Ed Miliband’s penis. Metaphorically that is, not actually. It was quite a feat actually, because he was simultaneously (metaphorically of course) disappearing up Obama’s anus. Every time Red Ed’s name was mentioned, this little shit’s eyes lit up. The buck toothed twat can do no wrong in Maguire’s eyes. Even Calamity Clegg got a reasonably easy ride. And Maguire couldn’t believe it when Pierce had the audacity to claim that UKIP were hurting Labour to a slightly lesser degree than they were hurting the Tories. It just isn’t happening according to Maguire. The evidence suggests otherwise.

I’ve made it known in the past that my hatred of Lefties is every bit as strong as my hatred of Muslims. And I hate Maguire even more than I hate Miliband and Balls.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

David Baddiel

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David Baddilel is a twat…

UK Gold (a shit channel that cuts everything up with adverts) has recently had some Morecambe and Wise thing on: Not much stuff from Eric and Ernie themselves, but plenty from cunts like Punt and Baddiel. Instead of showing a Morecambe and Wise sketch, they show Baddilel watching it on a big screen and laughing (in that Des O’ Connoer style showbiz manner!).

Nobody wants to watch Baddiel anyway. But who the fuck wants to watch the little turd laughing at a big screen? That’s entertainment?! Television is dead….

Nominated by: Norman

Lenny Henry [2]

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I used to like Lenny Henry. Then he got old, and became a bitter, twisted, hypocritical cunt. He’s constantly whingeing about how there aren’t enough black/minority faces on television. And that the likes of Idris Elba have to got to the US to get television work. He forgot to mention though, the Idris got paid far more for The Wire, than he would have done if it had been a British show. And Idris himself has never complained.

So, he whinges about Britain being racist, because he thinks there aren’t enough black faces on television. Then he goes on radio four and picks a production that doesn’t have a single white face. He did this knowing full well that he would be opening himself up to claims of racism. I think he did it to try to stop people calling him that. The fact remains though, that by ignoring a white person in the same way he claims black and minority people are ignored, he’s made himself a weapons grade hypocrite, and a cunt.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

Islamophobia

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I would like to nominate the word “Islamophobia” for an epic cunting.

This absurd term has become ubiquitous over the past few years but, and this is the reason for the nomination, no-one has actually defined what it means. It appears to mean whatever the speaker wants it to mean, so that anything from the foamings of right-wing nutjobs on conspiracy theory websites to thoughtful musings in the quality press about the place of religion in 21st century Britain can be dismissed by this ridiculous word. As far as I can work out, “Islamophobia” is Arabic for “Shut the fuck up, Kuffar!”

“Islamophobia” is automatically associated with racism against the mythical “Muslim community.” Now this really is a racist term. Some folks of South Asian descent have been living in the UK for three generations but whenever some bearded freak goes mental, screaming “Allahu fucking Akbar” as usual, these people are told they must condemn his actions because they are “Muslims.” No, they aren’t. They are British citizens with the same rights and responsibilities as everyone else. It is racist to say that they are Muslims because of the colour of their skin – PC twats at the BBC please take note.

Those cunts who shot up that French magazine are accused of shooting a “Muslim police officer” as they fled the scene. No, they didn’t; they shot a FRENCH police officer who happened to have a somewhat darker skin than the majority of the French population. Again I say, it is racist to label people of a certain ethnic group as “Muslims.”

By labelling certain folks as “Muslim” on account of their skin colour, the PC racist cunts of the BBC go on to empower so-called “Muslim community leaders.” Who elected these twats as “community leaders”? From what I can work out, being a “leader” of the mythical “Muslim community” simply means you have a beard and have read a book. Well, I have a beard and I’ve read lots of books (including the Koran) but I don’t claim to be a leader of any “community”!

But for sheer cuntishness, the phrase that really takes the biscuit is “Muslim feminist.” Have these silly tarts read their “holy” book? It specifically says that women are only worth half of men in terms of inheritance and testimony. “It’s my choice to wear a bag on my head when I go out,” they bleat. Fine. But it’s also my wife’s choice to wear a bikini when we go to the beach and no misogynistic cunt whose library consists of one book of thousand year old fairy stories can stop her. Fuck you.

That silly cunt Anjem Choudary says that freedom of speech does not allowed people to mock Allah’s prophets. That’s exactly what is does allow you utter, utter cunt. Your prophet was a violent, murderous, delusional twat who felt up a six year old! A six year old, for fuck’s sake! What kind of cunt gets his jollys from a Year One kid – outside of Parliament or the BBC that is?

There have been a lot of twats saying they have the right to practice their religion in peace. Absolutely correct – and right back at you! You can believe in fairy tales, worship a violent desert bandit, bang your head on the ground five times a day and force your wife to wear a bag on her head (actually I’m not so sure about the last one, unless she’s a “Muslim feminist” who chooses her own bag). BUT I DON”T HAVE TO. And nor do I have to “respect” your shitty religion.

Lots of people have written about Islam in recent years but most of them miss the point. They concentrate on the supposed violence in the Koran, the treatment of minorities in Islamic countries or the attitude of Muslims towards women. This is to miss the central problem in Islam; the central problem in ALL religions. Muslims believe the universe was created by God.

THERE IS NO GOD. At last count, physicists reckon there are 100,000,000,000 galaxies containing 300,000,000,000,000,000,000 stars in a universe that has existed for 13,700,000,000 years. And yet! The “God” who “created” all this cares most about whether one half of one species on one planet around one star shows its hair to the other half! Please, just fuck off, chill the fuck out, have a pint or three and get laid – with an actual woman not a prepubescent virgin.

Nominated by: Cunt’s Mate Cunt